To defend who you are

[emmicd]

If you were given the task of defending the crossdressing lifestyle and speaking on the behalf of other crossdressers what would you discuss to open the eyes of the general public to be more receptive to it?

Emmi

[Crystal Harmony]

I would have to say,the public,its the only way to get the message out to EVERYONE. :D

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Gee Emmi, you like asking such simple questions... :D

It's late so I'll tackle this one when I'm more awake.

[Lisa Golightly]

I don't actually see a need to defend it... Doing so feeds the myth that it is wrong... Besides which what I decide to wear is my business and not open to commitee discussion :)

[Katie Ashe]

If you were given the task of defending the crossdressing lifestyle and speaking on the behalf of other crossdressers what would you discuss to open the eyes of the general public to be more receptive to it?
EmmiI how point out that it is not illegal, hurting any one, positively contrubiting to the market as a shopper, not against any religion except Jews. We are friendly, out going, open people whom wish to life a slightly different life without hurting anyones feeling around us. We don't like confrentations and wish to live peacefully without fear of being harm/killed. We are not: child molester/rapest/theifs/bad guys/other common negative stero type. etc...

Do ya need me to write a speach for you? :)

Lisa, I agree with you very much. Sometimes you need to say something though.

[GypsyKaren]

I agree with Lisa, there should be no need to defend it because we are doing nothing wrong. I'm a kind person with a big heart, and if someone can't see that because they're hung up on my clothes or my attitude then to hell with them.

GypsyKaren

[Dixie Darling]

GOOD question Emmi.

First, I agree with Lisa one this one where she said:


"Doing so (defending it) feeds the myth that it is wrong"

But to answer your question it would be interesting to sit on a panel with other CDs and let the those who aren't familiar with the crossdressing lifestyle ask US the questions and then answer appropriately. Why? Because the information we might supply to them WITHOUT their asking questions may very well go over their heads to begin with and may not be what they are curious about. If I had the opportunity (which I DON'T) I've always had a desire to do just such a thing as this. The key to ANY discussion about our crossdressing is to hear what others think about it, why they think that way, and then correct any misconceptions they have.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[Maddie Knight]

I agree with Lisa, there is no need to defent something that isn't wrong.

[eleventhdr]

The whole stuff is that most think that there is something horrible wrong with anyone doing anything that si considered of out of the norm at all But then to be out of the norm is exactly what is wrong to begin with because you have to think like most everyone would want you to think to be normal And that is what is crazy to begin with. There is no norm when it come to thinking and doing what you really want to do without going beyond the bounds of doing anything at all that would hurt others to begin with. So then doing what we do being crossdresers. hurts noone except in peoples heads. Like there is something horrible wrong with wanting to be feminine Just because you are a guy that is what is crazy to begin with There is nothing wrong with wanting to be feminine and dress and try to be like a girl. So that about it anyway for now Suzy!.

[Tristen Cox]

If you were given the task of defending the crossdressing lifestyle and speaking on the behalf of other crossdressers what would you discuss to open the eyes of the general public to be more receptive to it?

Emmi

All the wonders and the happiness I've seen here, the trials and break-throughs. Support and everything I could think of to prove we are real people too an are not disturbed, sick or freaks.

[Priscilla1018]

I how point out that it is not illegal, hurting any one, positively contrubiting to the market as a shopper, not against any religion except Jews. We are friendly, out going, open people whom wish to life a slightly different life without hurting anyones feeling around us. We don't like confrentations and wish to live peacefully without fear of being harm/killed. We are not: child molester/rapest/theifs/bad guys/other common negative stero type. etc...

Do ya need me to write a speach for you? :)

Lisa, I agree with you very much. Sometimes you need to say something though.

What?Jewish people are against crossdressing?I better hope my Israelie friends don't find out about Priscilla.I would love to get the message out to the rest of our,so called civilization.

[ronna]

Yes, Emmi, you do have a lot of good questions. Are you writing a book?
If you do, will you autograph my copy?

I can't even answer this one, I think I'll go back to some easier ones.

[Sweet Jeanette]

I don't actually see a need to defend it... Doing so feeds the myth that it is wrong... Besides which what I decide to wear is my business and not open to commitee discussion :)

I "second" this!

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

It's not illegal, immoral or fattening. :D

[DawnRodgers]

I'm not sure you can convince the general public to accept who your are. Most people are so sure they know everything there is to know aboiut sexuality that there is no way to change their closed minds. If you dress as a girl well then you must want to be with a man and therefore homosexual - and we all know what an evil that is. They simply can't accept the idea that identiufying with the opposite sex is a natural and fairly common thing. Somehow you have failed all who love you - never mind that you are probably happier and more satisfied than you have ever been - they aren't so you must be wrong. Well, I feel that I must be who and what I am. That satisfies me and I will be as feminine as I can and, frankly, I would rather hang out and be friendly with women than with a bunch of macho, ignorant men anytime. Never could understand how they could put up with those silly self-important guys anyway. I just wish that I could do it complately as Dawn every day.
Dawn

[Vallari]

I wouldn't bother talking to anyone and defending myself, in this country anyways - a waste of time. Most Americans have their heads crammed so tightly up their own asses nowadays they couldn't hear a thing anyways.
If enough people start just doing it more openly then it will gain greater acceptance over time.

[Kimberly]

oooooh... just my kind of thread!! :)

1) That we did not choose to be who we are; we are born like this.

2) That the western world depends so much on defining people on what they wear and what gender they are, and that people have so much more depth to them. If you judge someone based on their not conforming to the gender "rules" set down by society, then it is as bad as any other discrimination: racial, religious and sexual.

3) Everyone exists on a balance of male and female - some have different proportions to their wellbeing. Some are mostly male, some are moslty female, but this IS NOT respective of actual sex; it can happen with anyone. CDs have more of the opposite sex within them, and so their gender is different than their sex.

4) Nature has always trusted and celebrated diversity, so why should society try to repress it with regard to gender?

I could write an essay... but that would take time.

[darcyann]

Hello

I agree why should we defend that what we like to do. Don't see women defending themselves when they wear mens cloths lol


Love

Darcy Ann

[Lisa Maren]

Hi everyone

Please don't hate me, but I'm going to take a slightly different tack with this one.

There are basically two ways to respond to negative perceptions of crossdressing and each way sends a different message about CDers.

You can say nothing and choose not to defend yourself, and I do agree that since crossdressing is not a wrong it does not need to be defended, but refusing to discuss it sends the implicit message that those erroneous perceptions are correct. I for one, do not want people to walk away thinking their erroneous perceptions of CDing are correct.

The other thing you can do is to honestly try and explain things and answer their questions should they have any. This avoids any implication from you that they are correct in their criticisms of your CDing without disrespect -- and if you interact with them respectfully, you will in turn send them the positive message that CDers respect others, and socially interact in a very positive way.

Human nature works such that respect must be received before it is given.

But to answer the original question, I can think of several things that should be said, but then again, I think action would be far better. I'd do positive things en femme so that people can see that CDers are nice people, too.

After all just think what this country would be like if people had only talked about a revolution. No, the important thing is good actions.

Hugs,
Lisa

[Wendy me]

i have defended and on more than once outed myselfe to freinds sometimes we would like to tell the the world but sometimes one person is better than none ....

[sue_donim]

I agree with lisa that we shouldn't have to defend ourselves.

However I would look at it as a chance to try and re-educate people and show them that their misconceptions are ill percieved.
Most if not all of the things I would say have been mentioned on this forum or in the cd newsgroups, as well as numerous websites, but if I could change one persons view of us I would see it as all worthwhile.

Hugs
Sue_donim :)

[MonaSmith]

I make a point of trying to never speak for other crossdressers, if I can help it. We all have different reasons for doing what we do, and our motivations are too wide ranging to be packaged in an easily digested and understood sermon. I'm not even sure why I feel the way I do, so I can't hope to fathom out someone else's reasons. We range from people that get a sexual kick from wearing panties to people so despaerate to change their outward, male, appearence, to match their female mind, that suicide is a very real option if they can't achieve this. Neither of these two extremes are any less valid, nor is any position in between them on the scale, but it is like saying that I am the same as a professional basketball player because we both wear sneakers.

I have never had to defend myself but am always willing to answer questions, you can't force people to understand, you have to wait for them to ask and just answer them when they are ready, and want, to learn.

Mona xxx

[Sexy Nikki]

Right on Lisa!

[DonnaT]

I may not need defending, but then again some need to be educated as to what CDing and being TG means. I could go on and on about it, but don't see a need to do that here, as most here are already well aware of the issues, especially how they pertain to themselves.

So, that's what I'd do, not defend it, but explain it to the less educated.

[Lawren]

I would include the history of xdressing, how widespread it is, some of the double standards that persist over it, and stress the fact that it hurts no one.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

You can say nothing and choose not to defend yourself, and I do agree that since crossdressing is not a wrong it does not need to be defended, but refusing to discuss it sends the implicit message that those erroneous perceptions are correct. I for one, do not want people to walk away thinking their erroneous perceptions of CDing are correct.

I agree there's a big difference between defending (in a defensive or apologetic tone) and explaining with head held high.

Like others, I'm happy to correct misperceptions, I just don't act as if it's anything I need to be defensive about.