taking chances

[weyburn]

Does anyone with a wife or girlfriend ever take chances such as wearing female underwear or acting a little feminine etc.while in their presence.Presuming your partner does not know you dress up.Do you want to be found out yet fear the consequences or possible acceptance?Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[Karren H]

Yes. All the time. And I get "your nails are too long, they look like a girl's" or "you are holding that like a girl". Or "you type on the computer like a girl". Duhhhhh... Lol. Taking chances is more like pushing the envelope for me... It keeps feminine things in my life and let's my wife know it didn't mysteriously go away...

She never said that before she found out and told me she had no clue... And if you do something subtle gradually over a period of time then it just becomes part of your ID... And its accepted... Imho. Case in point... I gradually plucked my eye brows to a very fem profile over a few months before she knew. She never noticed the change... Now I keep them neat and tidy and everyone I know just expects them that way... You modify your reality and push I out and it becomes everyone's new reality going forward..

[Christy_M]

I have under dressed around my wife before she knew. I even under dressed in bed a few times when I felt pretty confident she would never know...usually every month or so.

I am getting the same comments as Karren now that weren't there before. As much as my wife wants this to just go away, she keeps inadvertently getting reminded of it by either finding stuff or asking questions she really doesn't want the answers to. I think if I keep it in front of her in subtle ways, she will accept more and more. I don't purposely leave stuff out but I do latch onto opportunities to talk about it however subtle the conversation or innuendo.

[AllieSF]

I agree with Karren and figure the more I stretch that envelope the more my family and friends will become accustomed to it and then I can stretch it some more!

[Diane Smith]

How do you "type like a girl?" I'd like to learn that!

- Diane

[sandra-leigh]

I wore panties for a fair bit of time, right in sight of her, and she didn't catch on :D . And I don't mean "from time to time" either.

I (re-) discovered cross-dressing a short time before my wife went out of town for a couple of months. I switched to panties while she was gone. Mean time, I looked in some stores and found men's bikini briefs that were nearly indistinguishable in style except for being thicker (especially at the front.) Wore some of those around her, she liked them and said I should wear them more, so I mixed those in with real panties and then started wearing the men's versions less. She looked right at them, folded them after the wash and so on, and didn't realize they were women's panties. So by the time we had Our Talk, she was already accustomed to me wearing panties full time.


After she knew I cross-dressed, what I would sneak was occasionally wearing a bra -- at first only when we were going out and I would have a winter jacket on over top, and later not necessarily with the jacket but at least a thick sweat-shirt. Most of the time she didn't notice, but from time to time she would, and she would ask me not to wear it. But I had an ample supply of pink fog or (more likely) a stubborn streak, and my opinion was that if she didn't notice me wearing it then she couldn't use the "but other people will stare" reasoning. But I didn't do this all that often: instead there were a large number of days where I would stop in the garage and take off the bra before going in the house if I even thought she might be there.

When I started wearing a bra to work (even irregularly) I changed my habits, and would instead go up the bedroom when I got home and take it off there, even if she was home. That evolved in to me not taking it off until just before bed-time, but out of her sight. Now she knows that I wear bras most of the time and although she doesn't understand, she doesn't ask me not to any more. I don't usually make it obvious (by changing right in front of her), but some times I do.

Tights... now that I think about it, she adjusted to tights much more easily than she adjusted to bras. She doesn't always admire my fashion sense, but now it isn't a problem to put on or take off tights in front of her (at least not the nicer looking ones.) By the time the HUE jean-leggings came along this summer, she liked the look of them on me, and it is quite fine with her for me to wear those or the HUE cord-leggings in front of her or "out and about" with her. I would go as far as to say that she prefers me to wear tights than those thin pull-up or knee-high socks.

[Karren H]

How do you "type like a girl?" I'd like to learn that!

- Diane

I have no clue but she yelled at me for it! Lol.

[Pythos]

I find it ironic and sad when a GG thinks she is insulting a guy, buy insinuating that he is a girl. Do they not know they are not only insulting the man, but women as well?

Wow, that is dumb. Yet women do it all the time.

[eluuzion]

I suppose it depends on your concept of a healthy relationship.

"Taking chances" or "testing" or "deceiving" a partner is just something that sucks all of the logic out of being in that "relationship" to begin with. The logic escapes me I guess, since I do not see any constructive outcome for either party.

but hey, that's just me...

:love:

[BRANDYJ]

I agree with eluuzion on this. I think the only chance you might consider is to sit her down and tell her about your transgender desires. Usually having a wife or SO find out on her own is never going to turn out as good as if you risk telling her.

[Rachel05]

My wife knows my little secret, she doesn't approve and she never asks, but i love to go out dressed in male clothes with lovely feminine underwear beneath, usually only panties and hold ups, but it makes me feel good inside

[linda allen]

I posted this a while back, but I had a chance to wear my wife's panties one day when I ran out of my own. She said I could wear a pair of hers. I didn't and I'm still kicking myself for not being quick enough to take her up on her offer.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I have no clue but she yelled at me for it! Lol.

Karen, I've read your posts, it's obvious you type with your pinky up . :)

[VanessaVW]

It's a weird topic in my household. She does wear my stuff, sweatshirts, t-shirts, jackets, socks, etc. I have no problem with it. She did say years ago that everything is "ours". The problem is that we are different sizes and she also said years ago (18 years ago) that I should get my own stuff. I didn't have the courage back then to do anything about it. Haven't "gone there" since, but she's fully aware that I underdress and is cool with it. I do wear her bathrobe in front of her, and she's great with it, 'cause she will snuggle with me wearing her robe.

[kimdl93]

I'm not quite in the same situation - my wife knows and accepts me pretty much as is. Once in a while she'll comment on something I say or do by saying "You're such a girl"....but its meant and taken as a compliment :)

[Tess]

My wife has some health issues including being legally blind and I will admit to taking advantage of her disability to push the feminine envelope. Being a naturally cautious person it isn't as dramatic as you may think. A little shaving and plucking here and there, panties most days, nails that are well cared for and very shinny, and probably more things in the future. I do not secretly want to get caught.

[Bobbi Lynn]

Fast and accurately?

I have no clue but she yelled at me for it! Lol.

[Christy_M]

I suppose it depends on your concept of a healthy relationship.

"Taking chances" or "testing" or "deceiving" a partner is just something that sucks all of the logic out of being in that "relationship" to begin with. The logic escapes me I guess, since I do not see any constructive outcome for either party.

but hey, that's just me...

:love:


I agree with eluuzion on this. I think the only chance you might consider is to sit her down and tell her about your transgender desires. Usually having a wife or SO find out on her own is never going to turn out as good as if you risk telling her.

Well for me, my wife knows and doesn't approve. "taking chances" for me is weighing the need to dress with the potential drama from dressing around her. I typically try to hedge my bets on this and the drama isn't really drama but that look of "why do you do this?" I may be over simplifying this but I don't see it as deceiving but calculating when I can express myself even just a little bit. Having had two ex wives, I can't really speak on what is a healthy relationship either.

[linda allen]

It's a weird topic in my household. She does wear my stuff, sweatshirts, t-shirts, jackets, socks, etc. I have no problem with it. She did say years ago that everything is "ours". The problem is that we are different sizes and she also said years ago (18 years ago) that I should get my own stuff. I didn't have the courage back then to do anything about it. Haven't "gone there" since, but she's fully aware that I underdress and is cool with it. I do wear her bathrobe in front of her, and she's great with it, 'cause she will snuggle with me wearing her robe.

I don't understand why it's fine for a woman to wear "her man's" things but not the other way around. My wife came in the room the other day wearing a pair of my jeans and said "look, your jeans fit me now" (she is on a diet). Imagine if I came into the bedroom wearing her panties or bra and said the same thing! :eek:

[Tracii G]

One time with my first wife we were getting dressed and all my jeans were in the dirty clothes basket so she said here wear a pair of mine no one will know.
We were looking thru her stash and she picked out a pair that had the little zippers at the ankle and I tried them on and she said those work but are a little baggy in the hips try these.
She handed me a pair of stretch jeans that were pretty generic but buttoned up the side so I wore those.
She said you know those fit really well you can wear them anytime you want.

[Kjara_Ra]

my GF is far too "grabby" for me to have worn panties or anything without her finding out. I eventually just told her of my CDing, far better to talk about it then to run a shock and awe campaign with a pink thong. Yes she still grabs no matter what underwear I'm wearing. I'm glad I told her, she's ok with it to a certain point and that's fine with me.

[Alice B]

My wife is in the " I know and accept, but do not want to know or participate" group. Over the years I have slowly, but constantly pushed the envelope and gained grudging acceptance. Like Karren I've done the eye brow thing and now have them waxed in a female look. I wear woman's underwear 7/24, wear nighties to bed, have my toenails painted and paint my fingernails when I get the chance to go out. I've just told my wife that I want to go to "Diva Las Vegas" in April and she has said OK. My dresses, etc. hang openly in our walk in closet and my heels are in the open. It is a slow and deliberate process, but not an in her face approach. For me it works.

[StacyCD]

If your wife/GF does't know about your crossdressing then every time you dress you are taking chances. I once heard the statement that there were two kinds of crossdressers: those out to their wives and those who just hadn't been caught yet. If you are still in the closet with your wife/GF then wearing any kind of feminine underthing is simply wanting to get caught.

[sissystephanie]

Since I told my late wife before we married this particular problem never arose. I have been wearing panties and a bra most of the time for many years now, starting long before she passed away. She never had any problem with that! In fact , if I appeared in front of her wearing my male underwear she would ask me why!

I do have to agree with Stacy. If you haven't told her you will be caught at some point!! In marriage honesty is always the best policy!!

[pink femme]

Every weekend i use her mascara.....al beit very lightly but enough to make a difference.......and i also wear panties under my jeans as it helps me feel feminine. Does she notice the masc....she hasn't said but one day i live in hope she will notice

[DebsUK]

I believe there is a scientific term for this: satin roulette:roflmao:

I must admit I probably wouldn't do this with my wife per se, but I might get taken by the pink mist and do some depillation (got to get rid of the awful wiry hair on my back at the very minimum. I'm more likely to push the envelope at work by moving towards a more androgynous look

(oooh, I just found this: :Debs: That's cool :) )

[BLUE ORCHID]

I too will sometimes wear tights or black pantyhose under my dress pants
as I wear thin nylon trouser socks all the time and my wife doesn't notice.
I have a couple pairs of womens jeans that fit rather nicely
and and she said they look good not knowing that they ae womens.
My wife tolerates it. But It's a don't ask don't tell kinda thinggie.

Orchid

[AKAMichelle]

I did early in my journey. Now I don't care who they are because I am the same now regardless. I have told many GFs now and it allows me the freedom to dress how I want

[missyvf]

Yes I did/do this all the time. More so when I was a young blossoming Girl LOL. I would borrow my friends moms panties as a teen and would wear them when I knew I was going to be around her. Just the thought that I was wearing her panties and she didn't know it was very exciting to me. I did the same thing over and over again in different situations with different women.