Making progress quickly now.

[Nicole Erin]

Name legally changed - check.
Woman jeans, tops, and black reeboks - check.
Voice trained, no longer getting called "sir" but "ma'am" on phone - check.
Best friend wrote me a personal check in my legal female name - check.
Known to the world as Erin - check.
Hate wearing a bra but do so to look better - check.
No longer seeking validation or worrying about what others might think - check.
Being able to look back and say, "Yeah I remember when I first did (whatever) - check.

Folks, let me tell you, I still hve some personal goals for transition but I now know this is possible. I am doing it! the cost can be great in terms of several things. However, I am a finacially poor woman and here I am doing it!

Do you want to know how to transition? Do you REALLY want to know what it takes? You have to use your advantages to your full advantage. Your assets may include some of these or not -
Looks, confidence, money, skills, whatever.
My looks are average, my confidence is stronger than most, but money, I just don't have it. Here is how my list played out -

Since my looks are average, they could work either way.
The embarrasement and rejections I have faced in the past have made me strong enough to stand tall. Can't beat ME down!
Money - So I cannot afford fancy surgeries, so I found less expensive alternatives to things. I can't afford electro so I tweeze the beard best I can and shave the rest. My smooth face shows no real trace of the amish beard I can carry.
Skills - Being a beautician, I know just what to do.

You know your limitations. Do not use them as an excuse to not do this. Instead, find ways around things. Use your advantages to blow past your limitations.

Where there is a will, there is a way. Like many TS, I had thoughts of killing myself in the past. Well, "he" is now dead technically. Erin stands in his place. In his black reeboks (Erin decided to keep those). And "she", Erin, myself, has hit the ground running. To anyone in my life who can't deal with it, my only statement is - "Stay out of my way!"

Be strong, my sisters!

[Rianna Humble]

I know you're not seeking validation, but well done just the same. I'm envious about the voice. Hope you managed to sort things out with the school.

Like your attitude to what you can and can't do.

[Melody Moore]

You can do more than you think on limited funds, I am proof of that. When I started my transitioning my only means of support
was the disability support pension which is all I still have at the moment, but hope to be back in the workforce in 2011 once the
Christmas & New Year period is finally over.

I have had to make do with what I can afford, and have some dark facial hairs, so I get some laser work for those, but I also have a lot of light hairs being blonde and some are going grey. I can't afford electrolysis, so I epilate what the laser cannot get. The regrowth is getting finer & finer and easier to epilate. Some people try & argue that this method doesnt work, but the truth is it does work to get rid of facial hair, because each time a hair is pulled the follicle pouch shrinks each time. All woman have very fine facial hair and if I can get it down to this state then I will be most happy. You can buy an epilator for between $60 - $100 AU which is nothing compared to the costs for other treatments.

Also for voice training, there are some tutoring courses available on DVD that are a much cheaper alternative
than going to see a speech pathologist. See: http://www.genderlife.com/products-page/voicetutor

[Teresa Macaw]

Congrats on all your progress. Just wanted to add, most of us fail to work on our voice but can really get there with a lot of work. Takes 6-18 months. I have a classic 125Hz man voice & now can speak all day in the woman 220Hz range. Don't get a sir at the drive thru anymore but still have a long way to go. DeepStrealth has a free PDF workbook & many videos on Youtube, or you can buy CDs from Kathe Perez/Lynn Skinner that work. Takes 20-40 min a day & seems pointless at times for months but does work. Don't take a no on the voice it can be done. Hugs to all Teresa

[tanyalynn51]

Congratulations on creating and reaching your goals. This is what my therapist is wanting me to do next- quit avoiding setting some goals and guidelines for myself. Im not even very good at this in the simple things, so this isnt going to be easy. I applaud your success.:cheer:

[ShannonDragon]

Hi Erin! Good to hear all is going well. :cheer:

[danielleb]

Thank you for the inspirational thread.:daydreaming:
I'm in a similiar situation as to when you started out (with a few more items in the minus column). I feel like I'm at the bottom of a well staring up. It's always great to hear from people that can maintain optimism through adversity. I'm trying, and faking it alot, but maybe I'll get there someday.:)

[Faith_G]

You rock, Erin! :^5: We have the same attitude: "I AM doing this no matter what!"

A couple years ago I think we were both in the same place a lot of TS people seem to get stuck - looking at the obstacles and just giving up hope. Everyone has obstacles, the people who succeed are the ones who refuse to give up. Once I got past the obstacles that were in my way, I felt a real sense of accomplishment. But I felt foolish about even worrying about other things that weren't really obstacles after all - they just looked huge and intimidating while I was moping around feeling sorry for myself.

The quote in my sig is very apt here.

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah the voice thing is upmost important. Thing is, finding it is not real hard, but perfecting it takes work, something I am still doing. Kind of like some other things that you see results quickly but perfecting it takes more.

I still don't know if attitude is the key to passing or whatever but it IS the key to not getting harassed as much.

[Karen564]

I still don't know if attitude is the key to passing or whatever but it IS the key to not getting harassed as much.

It's both the timid & or obnoxious ones that get immediately clocked & sometimes harassed depending on their attitudes.. The wrong movements, expressions & voice can & will clock even the best looking ones..
Personally, I don't go out with Any attitude what so ever.., but hey, what ever is working for you where you are, just keep doing what works for ya..

And Congrats on moving forward with your life..that's fantastic !