Too specific?

[megan163]

I was chatting with a good female friend at work and mentioned about another lady who we sometimes chat about her sometimes inappropriate fashion sense and I mentioned about her stiletto heals. So my friend says that I was a little too knowledgeable. She claims most guys would only say "high heels" and not stilettos. And she goes on joking about how I would look in my stilettos. I was like whoa, did I just give myself away and tried to cover explaining I've seen Project Runway. So was I really "too knowledgeable" about women's footwear? Should I try to push other hints. I'm really kind of intrigued.

[prene]

I might be to knowlwdgeable also I think today:
Miley Cyrus Party In The Usa lyrics
"....
So hard with my girls not around me
It’s definitely not a Nashville party ’cause all I see is stilettos
I guess I never got the memo"

I don't watch Project Runway but I do know stilettos.

Know if you know the brand -Cesare Paciotti, Gianmarco Lorenzi or Jimmy Choo's.
I think you would have some explaining to do.

[eluuzion]

Hey, in my crowd stilettoes is like saying "kleenex" instead of tissue...:D We all learned that term back in high school, from this chic named Sally...:drink: I'm pretty sure that was her name...:daydreaming:

:love:

[Maria in heels]

Well, you've asked the right question, and I am one of the " shoe princesses " so here is my answer....

I think that everyone always has a feeling about someone else, and it seems that your GG friend at work is testing you, as it seems she already has an idea. Yes, we can all discuss clothing, shoes, bags, but it becomes strange at times, as we know as much as them. Over the years, my "saving grace" has been that my wife works in the Fashion Industry and because of this, I can say that I have experienced both the everyday bridge brands, as well as the ultra glam high line manufacturers. Thru her, I have learned many things, and of course, when it comes to women, I can now discuss openly clutch bags, purses, shoes (my favorite) and clothing. I'm pretty good with telling who is "real" and which ones are just "for show"...

Your friends comment about " how you would look in your stilettos " is the perfect example....if that's not a "test", then I need to fix my radar... I too went thru something like that, with an older female co-worker actually daring me to wear a dress, one of hers, in fact, and I agreed...needless to say, she never brought it in, and I just left it alone LOL (btw, she has opened a small catalog that I got from a fetish store in California once at work...she got the envelope before I did) She never mentioned it, but I'm sure that over the years, that has fueled her thoughts!

And its funny, but I do have someone at work who definitely has little fashion sense...she wears cheap stiletto platform boots almost everyday, tight jeans, and tops with low scoop necks and a leather jacket or some type of button down sweater over the top...not very put together, but fun to look at sometimes....I just get jealous of her being able to wear shoes/boots like that everyday !

[Gerrijerry]

Since when does knowledge about style cause anyone to be outed. UPS I forgot about TV. It is called sterotyping if you know about woman's clothes and style you are either Gay TS or CD. That is what the TV tells everyone. You can simply say you are watching to much TV. LOL. Then again you can also say, The truth. We are what we are.
How sad it is to have to hide our lives away because the world hates to accept anything that changes or is different.

[Brenda79135]

I have been working leather for the better part of 30 years. I have on several occasions made my wife purses/wallets and assorted other items. I am currently learning how to make shoes and boots. I do this for fun only. Have you ever tried to make/find the perfect purse? there is no such thing. I have talked with many GG about what they want in a purse. I put it in. In about a month they put it away because it isn't the perfect purse anymore. It is the same with shoes (mens and womens). There is no such thing as the perfect shoe. The best you can hope for is comfort.

[PortiaHoney]

Be careful. She may actually be joking and not be "testing" you for anything - except for the fact that women like to poke fun at men who have a "little" knowledge. She may even be enjoying the fact that her comment made you a bit uncomfortable. (or is that a LOT uncomfortable?)

A woman I was working with made a comment about how high a customers heels were and that she wouldn't be able to drive in those "ridiculous" shoes. I said that I didn't have any problems driving in heels like that and she just gave me the "look". And we laughed about it. Later, when I told her I was going to live full time as a woman - it was then that the penny dropped for her. She didn't give it another thought after the initial joke.

If you want her to know, it is a great way to break the ice and see how she feels or might react. If she has already had experience with a CD, then she may be "testing" you. Just remember, once you make that announcement you have no way to take back the words AND you will have no control over who she tells. As long as it is a bit of teasing, there is no commitment or harm.

Your choice.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I think she was just teasing you. I think we read into it because we know what we know. I see women teasing guys about wearing women's clothes fairly regularly, at least once every few months or so.

Stilettos aren't that weird a thing to know about, I know guys who talk about them in regards to how sexy they look on a woman.

[Karren H]

I get a similar reaction when I refer to my shirt as a "top" in a conversation... Or compliment a coworker on her new Coach handbag.... Or bump into someone while I'm returning an arm load of women's magazines to the common area at work.... I'm sure most people at work suspect if not down right know...

[Chari]

You should always be comfortable and confident in who you are - no matter what you are wearing or commenting about! Could it be your "good female friend" needed a guys advice on what she was wearing? IMO, GGs seldom get honest positive comments from other GGs, while very few guys see "fashion" beyond the skin that the GG is showing!

[Lorileah]

So you are a sensitive guy with good taste in clothes who actually knows things about women's style and taste. Wow, sounds like someone many women would want to be with especially when shopping. Stilettos, stacked heels, Princess, clunky, spikes, open toes closed toes, Mary Janes, strappy heels, sandals....I learned those when I sold shoes in high school. Maybe you do know more than the average male (gee this doesn't smell too bad I'll wear it) but women know men's styles and cuts so why can't a guy know women's? I agree with JT she saw an opening and teases you about it. How you react will set the dynamic for your friendship. If you get defensive, she will go on to other things. If you state you have fashion sense, she may want you to go shopping with her. If you tease back, you will be just two friends who like each other

[SherriePall]

What are stilletos?
LOL.
I wouldn't worry about that being too specific. Now if you had said slingbacks or wedgies, that's a whole another story.

[wendy360]

Every time at work when the safety shoe truck comes around I ask if they have steel toed stilettos yet and all the guys just laugh it off. I think most men know what stilettos are.
If your really concerned about being outed at work, next time someone wears high heels just refer to them as CFM's. Women don't like it but all the guys will know what you're talking about.

[AllieSF]

Wedgies is an easy one. Just ask any young male if he ever got one from a friend! Now, back to the OP's experience. A girlfriend of my grown daughter was recently looking at a magazine and asked, "What is a LBD?". Duh, from a grown girl! So, I quickly answered, "A little black dress." She immediately asked me how do I know that. I told her after being married for 20+ years, dated a few women and have a daughter with her girl friends all for whom I had bought multiple gifts, why shouldn't I know. My daughter then added, "Yeah, my dad also reads all the woman's magazines!". I think my daughter's friends knows, or at least thinks, more than she wants to let on. She called me a metro-sexual once when I was first starting this second life of mine and before I even knew what that term meant. So, when asked a question like that, try not to blush and act nervous, and tell them that not all men are ignorant cavemen.

[kimdl93]

The term stilettos is pretty commonly used. Perhaps she thought you were a bit too knowledgeable, but more likely she has some suspicions and used the opportunity to tease out more information from you! The question is really - do you want her to know? If so, the second question is "why not tell her?"

[StacyCD]

Just because some women don't know the difference between a screw driver and an adjustable wrench, when one woman does certainly doesn't mean she's secretly wanting to become a guy! Turn the logic around. Likewise, some guys know more about transmissions than I do but I don't think that makes me any less of a guy. Just accept that some guys are more observant than others and may therefore know more about woman's clothing than others. Now, whether or not she is 'testing' you. A perfect comeback to her "how would I look in her stillettos" would have been "I would need a size 11 so I think that yours are too small."

[DebsUK]

It could have been worse. She could have assumed you were a foot fetishist

[Rachel Morley]

She claims most guys would only say "high heels" and not stilettos. And she goes on joking about how I would look in my stilettos.
"Most guys"? ... I don't think that's true. All my life I've known plenty of guys who know what stilettos are. They've been sexy since forever ... that is, unless all the guys she knows are uber macho neanderthals who don't have any general knowledge of common women's shoe types .... even the sexy ones. :2c:

[RADER]

I use to call them SPIKE'S, and Floor wreckers, That is before I retired (Carpenter) Rader

[Carly D]

I rarely make mention of anything specific of womens garb.. When describing what some woman might have been wearing, I go with "that blonde" or color of dress but rarely the girl over there in the nice calf length skirt wearing what appears to be black textured tights and red four inch stilettoes.. That would more than likely give me away as something suspicious..

[AKAMichelle]

I make this mistake often. I have cover since I was married for 27 years. I have commented on a woman's purse by knowing who made it and mentioning kitten heels the next day. Knowledge is power except when you are a cd'er. In that case it gives you away

[lingerieLiz]

I guess I must really be out there. For years I have shopped with wife and her friends. The women love it as I know all the sizes and am happy to help them find what they are looking for. On more than one occasion someone has asked me to find them a different size in a bra. They are really happy that I know the sister sizes. In fact I've explained it to women. I now don't worry about being outed and openly wear womens pants and tops. I almost slipped the other day when a woman admired my sweater, I almost told her I had the skirt too.

[juno]

I think it is fun to give away your feminine side. They don't know if you are a crossdresser, gay, "metrosexual", or just knowledgeable because you are married.

I was admiring a woman's sweater dress next to me on a plane and commented on it. I was obviously too knowledgeable about details, so she asked if I worked in the fashion industry. I sad "No, it is just a personal interest." Most women seem to be pretty accepting of male with a strong female side. If they seem a bit uncomfortable, you can always use the excuse that a smart man is knowledgeable about such things to keep his wife/GF happy.

[Paula T]

My wife and me were talking or shall I say arguing about shoes one day and I told her what type of shoes are called "pumps" if I remember right she said she had never heard of that description of a style of shoe.:eek: So not all gals are into fashion and the terms used.:)




Wedgies is an easy one. Just ask any young male if he ever got one from a friend! Now, back to the OP's experience. A girlfriend of my grown daughter was recently looking at a magazine and asked, "What is a LBD?". Duh, from a grown girl! So, I quickly answered, "A little black dress." She immediately asked me how do I know that. I told her after being married for 20+ years, dated a few women and have a daughter with her girl friends all for whom I had bought multiple gifts, why shouldn't I know. My daughter then added, "Yeah, my dad also reads all the woman's magazines!". I think my daughter's friends knows, or at least thinks, more than she wants to let on. She called me a metro-sexual once when I was first starting this second life of mine and before I even knew what that term meant. So, when asked a question like that, try not to blush and act nervous, and tell them that not all men are ignorant cavemen.

[Chickhe]

The best response to a joke like that is to say... I would tell you about why I know, but then I would have to kill you.

[PretzelGirl]

I don't think that you were being too specific. Stilletos and LBD are very common terms to me. Now the kitten heels mentioned above may be pushing it.

The tough thing is that if you don't want to give away too much, is where to draw the line. Both my wife and youngest daughter will put something on and ask me how it looks. And I may comment about color matching, shoe matching, accessories, etc. But my daughter has a habit of asking me in front of someone who doesn't know. So I just revert to the fathererly "you look wonderful today dear". She asked me why I did that and I told her. She still asks but goes "Oh" when I give the diverted answer. But it does keep me from saying something that I want to reel back into my mouth. Grey area can be hard to decide on in a flash.

[tiffanyjo89]

Sue's comment is actually where most guys who have close female relatives (ahem, translation: most guys) are.

People tend to learn the lingo of whatever they are around. Remember the scene in "My Cousin Vinny" when Vinny's fiancee (I forget the character's name) blew the case out of the water? Looking at her, you would never guess she knew anything about cars, but she had plenty of experience with them because she grew up with a family of mechanics. If you grow up / live any extended amount of time with something, you're bound to learn a little. I had a Spanish teacher in high school who's husband knew how to speak it, but had never learned it in school...he knew it from being around his wife and her family enough to pick up on it.

Now, most guys tend to toss stuff like fashion in one ear and out the other, as it typically doesn't apply...or so the stereotype is.

[Sophie86]

Colors are another one you have to watch out for. A manly-man's crayon box only has 8 colors in it, 16 at the very most. Taupe isn't in it. Neither are plum, teal, ivory, or mauve. Caring enough to make the distinction between chocolate and plain old brown may cause you to be outed. :heehee:

(An example (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZwOGVWqHAw)of the feminine viewpoint on color vs the manly-man view. )

[megan163]

I think she was just teasing you. I think we read into it because we know what we know. I see women teasing guys about wearing women's clothes fairly regularly, at least once every few months or so.

Stilettos aren't that weird a thing to know about, I know guys who talk about them in regards to how sexy they look on a woman.


So you are a sensitive guy with good taste in clothes who actually knows things about women's style and taste. Wow, sounds like someone many women would want to be with especially when shopping. Stilettos, stacked heels, Princess, clunky, spikes, open toes closed toes, Mary Janes, strappy heels, sandals....I learned those when I sold shoes in high school. Maybe you do know more than the average male (gee this doesn't smell too bad I'll wear it) but women know men's styles and cuts so why can't a guy know women's? I agree with JT she saw an opening and teases you about it. How you react will set the dynamic for your friendship. If you get defensive, she will go on to other things. If you state you have fashion sense, she may want you to go shopping with her. If you tease back, you will be just two friends who like each other

You are right, I think. She went on teasing me and actually it has become a running joke between the two of us. We do a lot of joking around all the time. I honestly didn't feel "stilettos" was such an unusual term but still felt a little self-conscious about the kidding.

[Olivia2]

When that kind of thing happens to me I just laugh and reply something like "What can I say, I'm a well-rounded guy, who happens to know a little about a lot of different things" or something like that. To the best of my knowledge, noone has ever read into it that I might be a CD. I could be wrong of course. LOL.