Would You Stop CDing if Your GF Started Wearing Lingerie?

[daniel_k25]

I know that for many guys, dressing is a deeply ingrained part of who they are. For me, however, I have to admit that my motivation is sexual. I am really interested in sexy panties, lingerie, etc., and although I do love a short, sexy skirt, for the most part, regular women's clothing doesn't do much for me.

I have always found panties and lingerie exciting but I was first compelled to actually try them on in my college years. I was dating a girl and had bought her some sexy lingerie. I was disappointed that she never seemed interested in wearing what I bought her and I finally decided that if she wasn't going to wear it, I would!

So one day I tried it on and I was hooked. I loved the feeling, the look, everything! But I think that most of all I liked the realization that I didn't have to rely on my girlfriend to get my lingerie "fix". It was exciting to realize that I could buy whatever sexy panties and lingerie I wanted and enjoy it whenever I wanted.

Over the years I had several girlfriends, many of who were agreeable to wearing lingerie, but they never really got into it so I always just relied on myself.

I sometimes wonder - if I had a girlfriend who really liked sexy underwear, and who enjoyed wearing sexy lingerie for me, would my need to dress go away? I mean, as much as I love to dress myself in sexy lingerie, I think I love seeing sexy lingerie on a woman just as much, if not more (let's face it, it usually looks a lot better on them than it does on us! lol). But on the other hand, I also love the way it feels on me. I also (I am ashamed to admit) enjoy the feeling of wearing something that is taboo.

What do you think? Do you think that for some of us (and I emphasize some!), the reason we like to dress is simply because our girfriends or wives don't indulge us so we are forced to do the next best thing and wear it ourselves? Do you think that if your wife or girlfriend started wearing sexy underwear and lingerie for you, that would be enough for you and you would stop dressing? Or do you think it is too ingrained and that you would still feel compelled to dress no matter how often your wife or girlfriend catered to your love for all-things-sexy?

[Karren H]

Nope... First its not sexual for me... I really should have been a nun... And second. My wife would kick my ass for having a girlfriend!

[AKAMichelle]

I don't think it would make much difference. Back when cd'ing was more sexual in nature, her wearing the clothes wouldn't have done anything for me.

[Olivia2]

I don't know if this answers your question, but during a several-year period when I wasn't dressing and I was in a relationship at the time, I was always wishing and hinting that my girlfriend would wear clothes that I thought were sexual turn-ons for me. They wouldn't necessarily have included lingerie, which were items she wore nicely anyway, but would have included higher heels, shorter skirts, tighter outfits, etc. In this case, they wouldn't have stopped me from dressing as I wasn't at the time, but they may have acted as a replacement for my not dressing.

Don't know if it would have made a difference in that department in the long run but that's the way things were at that time. I did not stop dressing specifically for her but had stopped a year or 2 before we started dating. While I did start back dressing again several years after we broke up, I'm not actively dressing currently and don't have a girlfriend either, FWIW.

[juno]

I didn't get serious about CDing until my wife got M.S. and stopped wearing lingerie. I obviously got most of my satisfaction of female things through her. An SO who loves lingerie and other girlie things can definitely act as a proxy to fulfill your needs, but not as fulfilling. I think it would be quote rare to be sufficient to completely replace the desire to dress on your own.

[daniel_k25]

Olivia - that brings up a good point. I wonder if for many of us, if our wives or girlfriends were more sexual overall, it might stop, prevent, or diminish our desires to dress. One thing I have noticed is that whenever I first get involved with a girl, during those first several months when sex is new and exciting (and frequent), I often don't have much of a desire to dress. It seems like my sexual energy is focused on my new girlfriend and my need to dress does not feel very strong.

By the way, I'm not looking for a specific answer. It's not a dilema I struggle with. I just thought it would make an interesting topic for conversation.

[Pinky188]

Not me. Its not very sexual for me. I mean, dont get me wrong. When I wear short mini skirts with my thigh high hooker boots Im feelin pretty sexy!! But If my G.F. wore the same clothes, and she does, I'll still what to wear my skirt! Im just girly. What can I say??!!?!?!!

[StacyCD]

It's an interesting question. If things were different would things be different? For a long time I tried to get my SO to wear sexy underwear, heels, a garter belt and stockings and no matter how much I pleaded I got the "you should love me whatever I'm wearing." Fast forward to the present and when I'm wearing a nightgown with a bra and forms, I've reminded her of her own words: "you should love me whatever I'm wearing." The funny thing is that my SO has ditched her flannel nightgowns and is now wearing satin pajamas (which she never wore before).

[SherriePall]

Wouldn't and didn't matter to me. If my wife began wearing sexy lingerie again, I wouldn't have to buy so much for myself (with her permission, of course).

[Gennifer]

No, I would just pay attention so that when I did buy her panties and bras, which I do now, I would pick out styles she likes.

[sissystephanie]

NO!! It is not sexual for me. But I do have a lot of very pretty lingerie! Secondly, my girl friend does wear pretty lingerie. I know only because I bought her some! But she lives in Scotland, and is married!! No help for me!!

[Vikki Vixen]

If you enjoy wearing sexy lingerie and high heels as I do for sex and you find a GG who also does the same you will find that it's double the fun as me and my wife do. For me it makes me want to dress up more so I get a double dose of sexiness, I guess I'm just greedy.

[Veronica Lacey]

I have contemplated the same line of hopeful logic as you, daniel_k25, and several times at that.

I began seriously dressing around age 18 when I was brave enough to go to a lingerie store and buy something for myself. Yes, part of this was because my girlfriend did not wear what I thought was alluring. Granted, with limited funds I could not purchase a lot and I would simply enjoy ogling whatever my g/f at the time wore.

Fast forward a few years and I have met the woman who would become my wife (then age 24; I am 40 now.) In the ensuing years I gifted her many items of lingerie of which she wore only occasionally along with her previously owned items. I think that I used this limited wearing of lingerie on her part as a springboard for myself. Read: I think I just used this as an excuse to do what I always wanted to anyway which was to crossdress. My wife and I have discussed this and it tends to come back to this: If my wife wore lingerie and satin blouses and skirts more often would I not dress so much or...is it if I did not dress so much would my wife eventually wear more of what I like? The answer for us seems to be "no" on both counts. Now I would say that I enjoy dressing far too much both for sexual and comfort reasons to abandon it all even if my wife went every day wearing lingerie.

Another thought is that if I am equating sex to the dressing (which I sometimes do) then I am thinking with my penis. If my wife were wearing sexy lingerie and I was thinking with my penis...because I have been dressing for so long I would still fantasize to some degree how it would feel to wear what she was wearing and then some. I think I would still want to dress even if she wore lingerie and other nice things more often. Quite frankly I would like both of us to wear such things.

Nice one, daniel_k25. :)


It's an interesting question. If things were different would things be different? For a long time I tried to get my SO to wear sexy underwear, heels, a garter belt and stockings and no matter how much I pleaded I got the "you should love me whatever I'm wearing." Fast forward to the present and when I'm wearing a nightgown with a bra and forms, I've reminded her of her own words: "you should love me whatever I'm wearing." The funny thing is that my SO has ditched her flannel nightgowns and is now wearing satin pajamas (which she never wore before).

StacyCD...good one. My wife is wonderful, really, but I would not get away with presenting that one back at her. Good to read that it has lead to your wife wearing the satin pjs.

[Vickie_CDTV]

It wouldn't make me want to stop dressing. For some of us, what we really want is a woman who wears items we like and wear those with her (and I am certainly no exception.) Sadly, there are very few woman who would be willing dress up with a crossdresser. :sad:

[BRANDYJ]

How many times have we read were a CD thought it would all go away as soon as he is married? It doesn't.
I like to see my SO in sexy things just as most of us do. But that would not replace my wanting to wear and feel the same type of sexy clothes. In fact, for me, the more sex I have, the more I am simply around my SO, the more I want to dress. As an example, for now, she lives 1,200 miles away and I have lived alone for over 2 years when she had to go back to Michigan. My need, desire or urge kind of left when she did. today I have a female room mate. She is a very sexy, beautiful younger woman (41). And no, we are not intimate in any way. But still missing my sweetie, my urge and desire is still diminished, yet stronger then when I could have dressed all I wanted to living alone. so no, I do not believe if your girlfriend enjoyed wearing lingerie for you and for herself, it would make your desire to wear it any less. In fact I strongly suspect you would indulge even more.

[Jill Devine]

The way my wife dresses has no bearing on my choices. Yes it's better if she dresses sexy and girly but it does not impact my desire to dress in female attire.
I can obviously understand your position if it's more of a fetish, then yes, her dressing could satisfy your needs. Nothing wrong with that.

[Amanda Styles]

If I had a GF, it would not change my desires in any way, other than I might get excited to see her in some nice lingerie.

[Loni]

not a chance. if i had a girlfriend we would spend way to much going shopping for cute things for her...and me.


.

[Christy_M]

My first wife would wear sexy lingerie regularly and when I came out to her, we would periodically wear sexy lingerie together. It had no bearing on my need to dress. While dressing is not sexual for me, I am still aroused by those things that women wear that are, to me, sexy...lingerie, heels, nylons, short skirts. :)

[Pythos]

No.
In fact I would join in the fun, in my own way ;)

[KellyCD]

"you should love me whatever I'm wearing."

Ohhhh such a one way street.

But anyways, actually for me it would be a yes. I ended up with alot of "tomboys" over the years, and in retrospect I can't stand "tomboys". IMO they are just men with vagina's. But on the odd occasion of when they would wear something that I liked(read:I would wear)I found myself simply pleased at what she was wearing that I didn't feel like I needed to dress.

MY current SO is a girly girl. She refuses to wear anything but thongs, sexy push up bras's, sexy outfits and have her hair and make up done all the time. Personally I love it. She's perfectly fine with "Kelly".....but has never seen her as I havn't dressed in going on 2 years now.

I guess I can say that the more of a girl my SO is, the more of a "man" I feel like I need to be.

[TGMarla]

I doubt it would stop me. I'd likely find the opportunity to try it on myself sooner or later. However, I also admit that I'd love it if my wife would wear more lingerie.

[Misty G]

I wouldn't stop dressing for no reason. What others wear doesn't phase me at all as far as what I wear.

[Rachel05]

Would not make the slightest difference for me, I used to dress for sexual kicks in my early teens or at least that is what I used to tell myself!! but it stopped being sexual a very long itme ago now and I do it because I love to do it and love the feeling at ease with myself that it gives me

[Angiemead12]

No, I would share my lingerie with her :)

[paulaluvssz8]

I believe it would help... It's hard to explain but I really think I'd stop wearing panties and all if she would be the sexy woman I thought I was marring...

[Tina B.]

No, it would not help me stop, I lose the urge if I stay away from the female world altogether. But if I'm around a woman, and she dresses in a sexy outfit, it seems to get my juices flowing and I want to wear something like that. When I hang with the guys I'm just a regular guy, happy in jeans and tee shirt and don't even think about dressing. At least thats the way it was in my younger days, now I'm not sure if anything would take away that need now days.
Tina B.

[kymmieLorain]

Well I wear lingerie because I like it. My SO complains when I get something new. " how come you never buy me anything like that" I refain from saying because you hardly ever wear it.
Kymmie

[Salina]

It wouldn't cause me to stop. I have purchased a lot of sexy lingerie for my wife which she seems to wear often sometimes and then goes long periods of time not wearing it. What it does for me is gets me in the mood for passionate sex and in the mood to wear mine as well. There have been a handful of times we have both worn sexy lingerie at the same time and the sex was explosive!! I like you Tina B., see a woman in a nice outfit and wonder what it would look like on me.

[Sandy Banks]

I really think I could be bribed into it.............................maybe..........at least be given the opportunity.............

[prene]

Night cause me to cd more.
I would see that sexy Lingerie and I would want to wear it.

[Ann-Marie]

I started out wearing sexy panties and used to enjoy buying sexy lingerie for my wife who would only occasionaly wear them.
As I have started dressing more in the last few months lingerie is low on my priority list, I enjoy the short dresses and high heels more. When I'm dressed I enjoy the look but do not get sexualy aroused as I would if ny wife wears something sexy.

[RaissaHeels]

No.. id love if we both could wear it while having sex =/

[kimdl93]

Nope. I really enjoy when we wear matching lingerie :)

[PretzelGirl]

Well, there are many reasons that we dress, so if you pick one, you will find some who claim that reason. But I am not in this category. I never had a wife that was into lingerie, but my dressing came on later in life. So I don't believe I see a relationship for me.

[Evildawn]

i wouldnt. my wife and i have matching lingerie its very fun to me.

[jessicacd43]

No way!!!

[NathalieX66]

Nope.
The more I'm around women, the more I want to be like them & do what women do.

My last GF accepted me, though I think she didn't quite get it.

[RachelF]

MY current SO is a girly girl. She refuses to wear anything but thongs, sexy push up bras's, sexy outfits and have her hair and make up done all the time. Personally I love it. She's perfectly fine with "Kelly".....but has never seen her as I havn't dressed in going on 2 years now.


Kelly, you are so lucky. Hope that relationship lasts for ever ...

Regarding the question: I had done that question several times to me. Although I dressed the first time when I was 13/15 years old, I left CDing for 20 years. How I became interested in lingerie for myself again?: browsing the web looking for sexy things for my wife (which she almost never use).

I have no idea what would happen if my wife suddenly become more girly, but that question will be always returning from time to time to my mind.

Anyway, is just a curiosity, nothing that stop my dreams ... neither stop my CD urges ...

[Desiree2bababe]

Nope, would still have to indulge in the luxury myself.

[Angela Dressing]

hit real close to home for me. loce the feel of womens lingerie, much rather have it on them but i like to wear it too.

[alli2229]

Absolutely not. I would love to share with her though. If we wore the same sizes just think of the variety of outfits we both would have to wear.

[AvidFan]

Night cause me to cd more.
I would see that sexy Lingerie and I would want to wear it.

This happened to me. The 1st time I dressed my GF was in a real frumpy phase The second time same thing. The 2nd time was just 2 months ago. I toldf her about it, she accepts, we shop, she dresses sexier, A LOT sexier. And it makes me wanna dress more. She knows this. When she goes upstairs to get dolled up, she asks if I want to dress up too. Its a vicious circle

[charlie]

No, if my wife wore the sexist of lingerie I would still want to wear it too. Now, I would love it if she wore those sexiest of items as well!

[Jamee]

It wouldn't matter to me. I had a girlfriend back in the 90's who was very accepting of my dressing and encourage it. We would
go to the lingerie store together and pick out outfits for each other.

[VtVicky]

Good question. My current GG SO will help me pick out panties, and we shop together for her bras, etc. But, she seldom wears them. Even tho I have asked her to wear them to bed. My ex wife, however, would wear anything I bought her and would join me in dressing up for "girl friend dates" in bed. She did say once that whether I was buying it for me or for her, it was always for me in the end.

Having said that, my increase in CDing in the last few years has been more a function of life circumstances than anything either one of them wore.

OBTW: For those of you wondering. Yes, being dressed in sexy lingerie and having sex with a beautiful women also dressed in ligerie is as wonderful as you imagine.

[Amanda.61]

No, I buy her lingerie and she buys me lingerie and we share it all! In fact she has been more conscious of what she wears, to look more feminine and taking time to do her make-up. I love it that we share the same taste in clothes and lingerie.

[Cristi]

No.

To rephrase this question, it is asking "Would you stop doing something you enjoy if somebody else starts doing the same thing?"

I don't see the logic of that. I don't dress because there are not enough people around me dressing. I dress because I enjoy it.

[suchacutie]

ROFL....my wife wearing lingerie started my road to understanding that I am transgendered! As we went through her lingerie drawer and found things that didn't fit her we deterimined that they might fit me (we were chuckling). I tried on a garter skirt, she loved my legs, and joked I needed stockings and heels. She looked at me and said, "do it". The next time I had on her lingerie in front of her she insisted I needed a dress and Tina was born. We quickly learned that there is a serious part of me that is feminine...girly in fact. Now we're just two girlfriends having dinner, watching chick flicks, doing crafts, reading, and just spending time together learning how to be girlfriends. Do we both wear lingerie? You betcha!

Tina

[Kate's at home]

No connection, tho we do have many of the same things to wear together, only in different sizes. I do think it's wonderful that she too loves wonderful lingerie, and accepts me in same, and as something we share everyday.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Nope, For me crossdressing is not about the clothes, it's about my identity.

[Juliemckay]

Nope, For me crossdressing is not about the clothes, it's about my identity.

What she said

[Gaby2]

Hi d!
The more I dress, the more I want to dress. My SO has always dressed-up - but then that's expected of a female in our society. Privately she enjoys lingerie as much as I do.
Often crossdressing depends on my mood - very often my motivation is sexual and therefore I can easily identify with your observations. Sometimes it is stress-related.
I always feel good when crossdressing - always!
I noticed my attraction to female clothing while I was very young too. The "feeling" was what I needed most of all up to recently. I wanted to share this feeling with my partners - I constantly felt misunderstood and for some reason they (my former relationships) felt threatened by my perceived (and real) desire for them to dress-up more.
I can happily admit though that dressing just for the sake of dressing and simply looking pretty is becoming more important for me.
Gaby

[Sarah Doepner]

Nope. Two different tracks.

[helena.gcd]

NO. why should she be the only one wearing pretty things?

P.S: now i don't have a GF but, in the past i didn't stop me from CDing

[texasm31]

Although I have joked other forums that I wear fun, sexy lingerie because someone in our house should, it's not really true. There was a period where my wife wore nice lingerie and I still wore it. Often I would buy her something and return at some point and buy the same thing for me.

[Gypsy Sam]

For me it's sexual,the gurly girl get's my attention every time.The pictures at this site make the wheels spin and stir the imagination. My wife dislikes it and can't be bothered, even when I ask. It's been decades since Gypsy Sam was tried out and discussed.She abides my private time and private stash, yet avoids talking about it . Yes I would decrease my dressing if my wife would abide me with dressing sexy.

This thread however has expanded my awareness to the high percentage who answered nope, and through reflection makes me wonder if I could enjoy being Gypsy Sam with her.

[NicoleScott]

An obvious NO for identity dressers. But I'm sure many of us pleasure dressers have contemplated the question before. I have chatted (online) with many pleasure-dressing cd's who, like me, say that through crossdressing they created the woman they desire to have. I would strongly crave my partner to indulge my deepest dressup desires, but such a woman was not to be found, so I created her myself. If my woman were to wear the sexiest clothes, the highest heels, heavy makeup perfectly applied, long thick monster eyelashes, dark red lipstick heavily applied with long painted nails to match, etc. etc. etc. I believe that my desire to "have" those things may be satisfied without being the wearer. I said "may be" satisfied. Really not sure. My mind endlessly fantasizes about those things (as mentioned) that excite me: sometimes as worn by a female, and sometimes worn by myself. The ultimate fantasy is both, together.
It's a good question for discussion, but pretty meaningless for cd's other than fetish/pleasure dressers.

[JulieC]

The idea that having a girlfriend or wife being feminine, wearing lingerie, dressing up really nicely every day, etc. is a cure for crossdressing is utterly false. Plenty of us have made this error before, thinking once we found a 'real' woman, we'd be 'cured' and wouldn't have to worry about crossdressing anymore. It doesn't work that way. Don't delude yourself.

My wife is quite feminine. We've been together more than ten years. She knows all about my crossdressing, and knew before we were engaged. My desire to crossdress is not at all decreased by her wearing sexy lingerie, or dressing up really nicely. In fact, a bit more of the opposite.

[NicoleScott]

Well, it's not about finding a "real" woman. Yes, I was one of those who made the mistake of thinking that crossdressing would be cured by marriage. But we must understand that we dress in women's clothes for different reasons. For some it's about their feminine identity, and it's not about the clothes. For others, it is about the clothes, and for some, only about the clothes. Like others, I love to make up and dress up, but it's about feeding my fetishes. Those fetishes could be fed by others. But they aren't, so I make up and dress up. Let's quit thinking that we are all driven the same.

[daniel_k25]

Very well put Nicole. You put into words exactly how I feel. I think that for me, I started dressing, and my dressing progressed mainly because I was (and am) catering to my fantasies by creating the sexy girl I want but that is very hard to find. Like you, I think that it has progressed to a point that even if I did find the a person who really enjoyed wearing sexy lingerie for me, I don't know if I would stop dressing, although as I mentioned before, I have noticed that when I get a new girlfriend and the sex is new and exciting, my desire to dress goes down considerably and when starting a new relationship I have gone months without dressing (or without dressing nearly as much). I have a feeling that for the first several months it would satisfy me, but as the sex got more and more routine (which, lets face it, it does in a long term relationship), my desires would start coming back.

It seems like most individuals on this board are "identity dressers" and I can see why even having a significant other who wears clothes that you love would not diminish yours desires. That is a need that cannot be satisfied by someone else. But I agree with you, Nicole, that for some of us (the pleasure dressers), our need is, at least to a certain extent, to simply have sexy clothes in our lives in one form or another, and that need can be satisfied in a couple of different ways. For us, it is a matter of utilizing the best available method based on our personal prefrences. I am sure that there are non-dresser's out there who's SOs won't wear sexy clothes as often as they would like so they fill their need simply by looking a pictures of women dressed in lingerie. For them, that is their next best alternative.

Interesting discussion.

[NicoleScott]

Right on, Daniel. As you said in your OP, it's about getting your "fix". In your case, lingerie fix, and for others of us, other things. There are different ways of getting that fix, either by crossdressing or by having a partner who willingly indulges our fantasies. High heels, for one, excite me, and I can get that fix even without wearing them. Of course, wearing them works, too. While I like lingerie, it isn't the focus of my crossdressing or excitement when worn by others, but it's easy for me to see how, why, and to what extent that lingerie excites you, and how you can get your fix. Identity crossdressers don't see articles of female clothing the same way as we do, so they would predictably not be fulfilled by others wearing them.
One thing identity dressers and pleasure dressers have in commom is that we wear women's clothing and sometimes all that goes with it. That's pretty much where the similarities end. We are so very different in what drives our crossdressing, but we are all here together in discussions about it. When a thread starts about fetishes, for example, some identity dressers seem to be compelled to chime in with" "I don't have any fetishes". Why? I think to elevate themselves above the sexual aspect of crossdressing, as if that's something to be ashamed of. If there's a topic that I don't relate to, I don't post.
I will agree that others wearing the things we like will never be a "cure" for crossdressing. Cd-ing will always be exciting or me. But reality sets in, and I am seeing the effects of aging. I still love to make up (a real turn-on for me) and dress up and wear high heels (another turn-on), and still get excited with what my eyes see and what my brain processes, but I can't make myself into that dripping-with-sex goddess (in my eyes) like in my younger and slimmer days. But others can, and I can easily see how my fetishes can be indulged to my great satisfaction but someone else in lieu of my crossdressing. Maybe others can't be satisfied this way, but it's somewhat arrogant for someone else to tell me I can't.

[sometimes_miss]

I was able to stop crossdressing for quite a while when in a stable relationship; I don't know whether I would have been able to sustain it though. Stress brings out (or perhaps lets the desire to crossdress overcome my defense mechanisms) my desire to crossdress.

[CamilleLeon]

No way! I might want some matching lingerie tho... :heehee:

[Deanna B]

hi to the point hell no i love my lingerie . love deanna