How Long Do We Last?

[Traci Elizabeth]

I have been on here for almost a year now and in that time I have seen many go and many new faces. It also seems like there are not that many really long time transsexual members albeit some who I really enjoy their input.

So my question is this, do we all eventually get to the point that we no longer want to be identified as or associated with transsexuals? Wherein we just want to be accepted as "women" without any precursors.

I know for myself, I don't want any labels other than "woman." But I am still turning back here for the friends I have made and for the words that are written.

What are your thoughts?

[Felicity71]

I believe its a number of reasons, one is some people who have been around along time dont feel the need to respond online, and its probably draining to read some of the messages that are about some who are losing hope or marriage failures. I got tired of another forum about a 9 months ago that used to be full of bad news.

[renee k]

Hi Traci,

My thoughts are this. This site and support groups have a lot in common in that they help one move through transition, and gain a better understanding of themseles. A lot of people out grow a support group's usefulness. I did with a crossdressing support group in my city. And just move on, they're still out there. I still keep in touch with girls from that group. I'm going to start going to a TS support group, at the suggestion of my therapist, to open my social circle,make new friends and do some networking. So, to summarize I think what your seeing is a natural progression.

Renee

[morgan51]

I will continue to read and post here as long as it feeds my need for community good news or bad its just the life of a T

[Kathryn Martin]

I think that this has a lot to do with the cycle of transition. When you have reached certain milestones you move on. All transsexuals want to be their true sex, they have always been their true gender. When the time comes normalcy as a woman is what we want and need. And that only marginally includes a continuing relationship with the world of transition.

[Melody Moore]

Likewise, I will also read & post here as long as it suits my needs, but there is a lot to be gained here and also knowledge & experience has to
be passed onto to others following our footsteps, so I see myself being here a for a few more years after I have completed my transitioning.

[Stephanie Anne]

This is like a hot point of social discussion within the trans community.

the question really is should we or shouldn't we abandon being trans once society absorbs us.

I have no f'n clue anymore. I'm leaning toward if you want to be one way, be one way, if not, don't.

I only question those who forget you will always be a male to female or female to male transsexual. The is nothing wrong with that fact. There is also nothing wrong with keeping that knowledge to close personal friends, S.O., and family.

As for this forum... Pisses me off to no end sometimes but it has been an amazing source of friendship and information. I see no reason to up and leave it post transition.

[Rianna Humble]

As someone who has been around about the same amount of time as Traci, but who is not as far along the path of transition, I expect to be here for a goodly while yet.

Yes we see some people drop out a while after transition and whilst we may be saddened by their departure, it is their life and they need to be free to live it as they feel best. Some people don't mind being identified as Trans but for some it is a hardship and I must respect that. All that we can (or should) do is to wish them well as they go on their way.

I am grateful for those who do stay around although we often don't make as much use of their experience as we could.

I don't think that the friendships made are just cast aside lightly but such is the nature of support groups.

On other subjects, there are support groups where I used to be a major contributor (on one I even wrote and maintained an on-line FAQ) but then things in my life changed and I moved on.

[Diane Smith]

Regardless of any issues related to the subject of the board or our individual situations, many studies on Internet communications have found that the average user of an online forum remains active for something like six to nine months before moving on. Many of the people who have disappeared here have probably just gone on to other forms of communications, or have chosen not to participate online for awhile.

- Diane

[tamarav]

I notice that I tend to skip periods of time where I don't respond to many threads, usually because they have been asked and answered so many times before. Sometimes I am just too busy and other times I simply don't have the internal stamina to dig out a plausable reply.

On the other hand, I know of many who feel that they have met their point of saturation and moved on, either after transition or otherwise. One of my best friends simply dissapeared after her final surgery, never to be seen again. (She did move to a different city and eventually got married)

The reasons for being active on any forum depends on your interest level at that point in time, your current self-perceived level of success, and how much support you are seeking at that time, in my opinion.

[Bree-asaurus]

I can foresee that there will probably be a time where I don't want to be identified as trans anymore. I hope I can at least keep in touch with this forum and my local organization though (without advertising that I do these things). I would like to be there for people who were where I once was but it would also be nice to live my life with people not knowing that I once had a penis.

[Teri Jean]

Traci this is a contention and possibly why being TS is not as accepted in today's society. We transition and then blend into the fabric of society and the cycle starts all over. Being we have a history of both genders we can embrace both and still be the woman we want to be. Finding a support group and getting together on a regular basis such as we did this weekend. We had ten ladies together for the New Years party and enjoyed the fact we are who we are.

The other thing is we need to be our own spokesperson and a couple of us have stepped up to do classroom discussions and radio spots. When asked to speak to a group, whether in a class as I did, or as a guest speaker for a particular function one should rise to the occasion as their comfot level allows. For some a formal setting doesn't phase them where others could be effective in a more intimate friendly forum. Just do it.

Lastly there are so many who could be helped by the more mature ladies giving help through their own transition and should do so. Hense for whatever reason we should remain active members of the forum so we can offer help when needed.

JMO Teri

[jackielou]

my reply would be 2 fold as an old friend once told me DONT FORGET THE FRIENDS TOES YOU STEP ON ON YOUR WAY TO THE TOP ARE CONNECTED TO THE A!@# YOU WILL HAVE TO KISS ON THE WAY BACK DOWN and as my mother said god love her DONT EVER FORGET YOUR RAISING.i understand what you mean traci but these friends you have here are true forever reguardless of your state of mind or body.