The Benefits of Honesty

[Sarasometimes]

I have found this forum to be virtually priceless! Before there were forums like this, many of us thought we were so rare and unusual. Then we found out about each other and how we engage in these similar activities and interests.
For others to gain the most from our posts we need honesty when sharing about our outings and interactions with others. To exagerate or fabricate and then present the story as real is counter productive and although there may be benefits to sharing these tales they should be presented as such. We have inexperienced new members who are relying to some degree on what they read here to guide them on their journey and for us to post fiction presented as real can be very misleading.
I ask for all of us to be honest and forthcoming when we post. Thanks, Sara

[Kelly DeWinter]

I read almost every post here, and find the stories of peoples outings and interactions enjoyable, everyone has a different way of telling a story some are mater of fact, somre read like a documentary,a romance novel, or science fiction, even a thriller. It depends on the authors style. No two are the same. It's very easy to see if they might have been embellished a bit or a lot, but hey who hasen't read a cheap dime store novel from time to time ? ;)

The only posts that present problems are posts that present medical,scientific research or govenmental legislation as fact without supporting links or complete information (but thats a whole different kind of Honesty, and I don't want to start that here).


Kelly

[Chari]

Honesty is the best policy - for the most part, but we should think about how much the truth would hurt us! IMO, sometimes saying little or nothing would be best for all concerned.

[Gaby2]

Now that's a bit provocative, Sara!
Even though what you write is probably true, isn't it more important that one is able to talk rather than living in possible fearful seclusion and silence?
Perhaps you're only referring to happy-go-lucky cders simply writing about their hobby (or passion) for the fun of it.
I don't know.

I do know that when I do manage to read a post or two, I'm always enthralled and grateful. Whether or not it's fabrication is secondary, if not irrelevant for me.
Hmmm... come to think of it, I've never doubted the thoughts of anybody on this forum.
I'm sure that will remain so!

You sure provoked me, Sara... well done!:thumbsup:
Gaby

[Sarasometimes]

"but hey who hasen't read a cheap dime store novel from time to time ?"

But I'll bet you new it was just that before you started reading it. Sure there are many different writing styles which is what makes this forum interesting. I miss the benefit here of writng pure fiction and presenting to others as real?!
If I write that I frequent a certain chain store and find that they are, by policy open to CDers but it is all made up isn't that misleading? That is my point here. We can tell tales or embelish just indetify it as such and don't try to see how many here you can fool is my recommendation.

[linda allen]

"but hey who hasen't read a cheap dime store novel from time to time ?"

But I'll bet you new it was just that before you started reading it. Sure there are many different writing styles which is what makes this forum interesting. I miss the benefit here of writng pure fiction and presenting to others as real?!
If I write that I frequent a certain chain store and find that they are, by policy open to CDers but it is all made up isn't that misleading? That is my point here. We can tell tales or embelish just indetify it as such and don't try to see how many here you can fool is my recommendation.

I agree with Sarasometimes.

Anyone remember the post where the OP was supposedly dressed and stopped by a cop and forced to perform oral sex on him? It took a while but eventually most of us decided it was made up. This was a waste of time for those who took their time to console the OP and provide advice, believing that this was a real situation.

Posts should be real and honest. If you have a fantasy (we all do), make sure you are clear that this is a fantasy, not something that actually happened.

[Melissa_Z]

Sara brings up a good point.

This thread brings to mind the "James Frey" debacle from a few years back. As you may recall, he went on oprah with a compelling, "true" story of overcoming addiction. It turned out however, that the story was fiction and oprah called him out on it. I think her issue was that he had presented fiction as truth in an area where people are often looking for true inspiration. I can imagine how upset/crushed/disappointed/etc. a reader that used Mr. Frey as an example would be to find that he really didn't go through those tribulations.

Similarly, I think it is a bit disingenuous to present fiction as truth on a forum that is dedicated to t* support as well as entertainment. I don't think Sara is asking for a ban on fictitious content, rather she seems to be asking for more of a "truth in labeling" type of solution. If that is where she is going, then I agree.

One of the benefits of having a support forum such as cd.com is that the board members can look to each other for opinions and re-tellings of experiences. Those opinions and tales are informative and helpful when . . . say . . . deciding what to expect on your first time out or what to do if you get pulled over while dressed etc..

The difficulty, then, is knowing whether you are reading fiction or non-fiction. I give less informative weight to the fiction posts. It is often pretty easy to distinguish between the F/NF posts. Sometimes, however, it takes me a few sentences or paragraphs to "figure it out." It would be nice to know that before I spend the time reading something for information that turns out to be mere entertainment.

Clearly there is room for some editorial discretion* and embellishment** when dealing with forum posts (we're not writing peer reviewed journals here). But in the context of what Sara brings up, I think it would be courteous if the fiction writers would be clear in their postings that they are writing fiction. Though not a 100% solution (it is basically the honor system), it would be a nice gesture amongst board/forum members. In the alternative, the NF writers could mark their work appropriately.

Off of soap-box :) Thanks to ALL who post and provide content on the board! As one who consumes more than produces, I appreciate the thoughtful and interesting items you'all post.


** I don't want to ignore the fact that many of us use our femme names and pronouns, which depending on the reader, may constitute fiction. I don't think this is what Sara is calling out however, nor do I think it is embellishment given the context of the forum and its intended audience.

[Avana]

Anyone remember the post where the OP was supposedly dressed and stopped by a cop and forced to perform oral sex on him?


What? That's a movie!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114682/

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I agree with Kelly Dewinter. Medical, scientific, legal suggestions can perhaps bring undesired results that may cause someone potential problems. Honesty is commendable in replies or postiing topics, however some are comical, sarcastic, maybe even cynical in the way they reply, that is just the way some of us are in real life. I always try to see the fun in what I write and try to be a lil sarcastic at times but I try and keep it under control. I am just an Aussie and I try and take the micky out of some things, however I never lie. Within this group are a lot of people from all walks of life with a vast array in life experiences, some may offer help to others so those they offer help do not feel the hurt they have suffered. They can only offer advice, it is up to the individual reader to interpret this advice to aid in what ever issue they are having at the time. We all have a common interest and that is dressing, acting, transitioning as the opposite sex.
I commend the website operators and their patience. I also commend most of the members here and the way the majority help others in need of assistance. Some of us older people do not have a great faith in family, friends or Doctors for help and this is our last place to come and be us. Yes, be honest in posting but also allow for individuals to express their own way in replies, some of us are suppressed in life as per MTF or FTM. Please do not suppress us here too.

[RebeccaLynne]

Sara, you're so right. All we ask, and deserve, is honesty. The plain, unvarnished truth. That's why I so enjoy the titilating exploits of TexasKimberly, Karren Hutton, and others too numerous to mention. You know who you are, vixens!:D

Keep 'em coming, ladies...I'm a voracious reader!

[Rianna Humble]

For others to gain the most from our posts we need honesty when sharing about our outings and interactions with others. To exagerate or fabricate and then present the story as real is counter productive and although there may be benefits to sharing these tales they should be presented as such.

We have mods on these forums who do a great job of trying to keep order and to prevent harmful exaggeration. We should recognise that and thank them for their hard work.

If you have actual examples in mind, I would recommend that you contact the moderator of the specific forum and submit your proof/conjecture to them then let them investigate. That is one way in which you could support the mods and at the same time help to improve these forums for all of us.

I'm sure that it was not your intention to disrespect the moderators, but it would be very easy for that slant to be put onto this thread.

[Karren H]

Being an engineer I wish I was a better writer... I could make my times out way more exciting than they are.... On my next business trip I need to find a female cop who forces me to have sex.... In the jail cell.... At the woman's penitentiary.... Behind the exotic boutique.... Who just made a special delivery by mistake....

[Maria 60]

I hope most of the threads are put together with some form of honesty. Being a very much in the closet dresser, this is the first site that i ever joined and the first time i ever spoke as Maria. Reading these threads made me realize that there are many forms of Cders. This site has made the world of difference to me, when i read about the Cders who are in the same shoe's as me, makes me feel that iam not alone. When i respond to a thread i try to answer as honest knowing the same way i take advice from others they may be taking advice from me. All of you and this site has made Maria a much more happy and confident person. Maria is moving forward and all of us together can help others move forward with this gift we have received.

[AKAMichelle]

I don't know how to stretch the truth. :D