Its enough to make the Wicked Queen elope with the Seven Dwarves

[SuzanneBender]

There are days where I really can truly understand how the wicked Queen in Snow White felt when she stood in front of the ratty old magic mirror. However, she should have been happy that she also didn’t have my scale that seems to want to perpetually lie to me. Add the body dysphoria that most transgender folks wrestle with and I bet she would have decided to give that apple a nibble or in the very least decided to run off to Vegas and marry Grumpy.

I am amazed how I can go from feeling confident and proud of things to feeling so pitiful about things. I have heard that women in general are concerned about their appearance at least once every 15 minutes. That could be attributed to wiring and hormonal triggers but I think the ongoing body dysphoria associated with being transgender impacts this. It may even aggravate it.

Many transgender people struggle with appearance and body happiness across gender roles. As a male I was never muscular enough. As a female it’s a constant battle with to much muscle definition, not being thin, body hair, age lines etc, etc, etc. Does some level of body dysphoria always persist in haunting us? Does it get easier if one goes full time or does it get harder? Is there a balance between acceptance of our body happiness in male mode vs. female mode for those of us “mid pathers”?

Mirror mirror on the wall. Ohhhh forget it! Pass me 44 ounce big gulp and that Snickers so I have something to snack on while I drive to the store to pick up some wrinkle cream.

[Sarah Doepner]

Suzanne I'd say a big part of our problem comes with the difference between our starting position and our goal. Well mine at least. Between me and "passing" are 5 or 6 inches of height, 60 pounds of weight (poorly distributed) and a face that is male, regardless of the makeup. Then I say I'd love to be able to walk down the street looking like an average woman and the cognitive dissonance sets in. I can't match my perception with the reality of the situation. Occasionally, I manage to accept the fact that they make clothing that fits me because there are women my size and with makeup, forms and a wig I can hide on the edge of a crowd. As long as I stay away from the evil Mirror Mirror I can remember that I'm not really in this for the look, but for the psychological benefit I get when I nurture my feminine side.

That feeling of inner peace must be worth the effort because I keep trying to get there so long as I keep Grumpy at bay and Dopey smiling next to me thinking I know exactly what I'm doing.

[suchacutie]

Ok, so I'm the terrible inverted triangle shape! And yes, I need to lose another 15 pounds to be close enough to a size 8 on the bottom that I'm comfortable. And yes, my male nose is too big (in any gender!).

But...my wife loves my legs, and I walk in heels like I was born with them!

It's a tradeoff and unless you are supermodel material it's that way for everyone. My wife has made it clear that it only works if what you are wearing and how you look in it makes you feel good! This was a completely new concept for me (having been just a guy for so long) but she has convinced me and that means learning what every woman seems to know: accentuate what makes you look good, downplay the rest, and be comfortable in the fact that there are 3 billions women on the planet doing the same thing!! :)

tina

[AKAMichelle]

resistance is futile. We all have our issues which cause us to doubt our ability to go out in public. I have pretty much given up on them since I can't make enough changes at this point in my life.

[docrobbysherry]

I think maybe you're looking at this wrongly, Suzanne!

Let's look at attractive and not so attractive GGs.
I know GGs, (and see many every day), that don't particularly CARE how FEM or PRETTY they look! They don't seem to try very hard! If u say anything negative about their looks, it doesn't seem to bother them! They appear to be comfortable with who they r!
On the other hand, the very pretty GGs, the ones that try SO HARD to look stunning, r often easily thrown off by the smallest negative comment about their looks!

So, u see Suzanne, if u weren't a PRETTY CD to begin with, you're defects probably wouldn't bother u! Lol!

[sissystephanie]

Suzanne, I think DocRobby said it very well! Enjoy life and don't worry about any defects!! When you are a pretty CD, and you are, there should not be any worries!! The only worries I have, other than the normal financial ones, are whether or not the important parts are covered!! LOL

[Kathi Lake]

Suzanne,

It's utterly amazing how many people I don't fool. Ya know what? Whatever!

They're not the reason I do this. They're not the ones I'm trying to impress. They're not the ones who understand me. I am. I am the reason I put myself out there. I am the reason I slap on the makeup and struggle into those skinny jeans. I am the reason I dress up and fly. All I have to impress with this facet of my life is me. Luckily, I have very low standards!

:)

Kathi

[Kate Lynn]

The wicked queen and the seven dwarves eh,and whats Snow White doing while that partys going on.