Came out to Dad, homeless now.

[JennyA]

I live in Northeast Ohio. If anyone has a place I can crash for a day so i can figure things out please call me. Im at the library now, so i wont be able to check this.
I have $16 left, spent last night at a hotel, but now I'm stuck in my car and it's cold. Plus if it rains my car leaks and all my possessions will get ruined.

I'm gonna post a copy of the craigslist ad that I just made so people can read my skills.
----

I came out to my dad on the first day of 2011 to start the new year right. It went bad and i got kicked out. I have a $50 gas card and $16 left. I stayed at a hotel last night, but i had to leave. I really need help from anyone that has a heart. Its cold out and my car leaks water onto the seats if it rains. if it rains all my measly possessions will be ruined. I only have a couple suitcases to my name, mostly female clothes and makeup, lol.

I need a place to stay while I figure this out. I'm a really nice gentle person and I have a lot of skills. I'll list them all and if you either have a job i could do to get a hotel room or spend the night please let me know. Male and female are both fine, I get along with everyone and love animals.

I can:
Do interior painting.
Help move heavy things.
Dance, sing.
Teach makeup tips.
I went to college for computers. I can fix them internally and install hardware. I can remove viruses and spyware excellently and make your computer secure.
I am a professional photographer. I have the skills still and eye, but no equipment.
I can fix lamps, install light fixtures, sinks, toilets, etc.
I clean very well.
I give fantastic massages.
I am funny and personable and could entertain you with my wit.
I used to babysit my bosses 7 year olds.
I am an excellent cook. Anything from fried food to vegan.
That's all I can think of, there is really nothing I can't do. I'm a handywoman.

So that's me. I'm in transition from male to female. I am totally out and only wear female clothes now. If my wardrobe gets rained on I'm going to be so screwed.
Please, if you are interested give me a ring or email me. I don't really have access to a computer so phone is better. And not lots of back and forth please I need to know what's going to happen to me asap.

Thanks for reading.
John/Jen

[sandra-leigh]

Oh no! My sympathies!!

[JohnH]

Jenny,

Like you my masculine name is John.

I am waiting to find out how others are going to respond.

If I had an acquaintance who treated his son [daughter] that way your dad is treating you I would sure lean hard on him. Hopefully there will be some people that will stand up for you.

I'm so sorry your dad does not accept you. That was a terrible way to start a New Year. He is simply another stunted male that is insecure with himself. Hopefully he will reconsider and let you come back home.

Hugs,

Johanna

[MJ]

if you can get to canada i'll help jump across detroit up the 401 to hamilton don't have much but your welcome send me a pm


all the best sis

[Starling]

Jenny, what a terrible thing for a father to do. But you will be all right, I know. Hurray for MJ!

:) Lallie

[Melody Moore]

Sorry to hear that.

It's a pity that youre not in Australia or I could help you out since I have room for 2 TS house-mates here with me.

I hope things work out soon for you :hugs:

[danielleb]

Reading this brings me to tears. I'm so sorry that this has to be happening to you at this phase in your life. I wish I had something to offer. It seems as though you are at least holding it togther enough to look for a solution. I wish you luck.:hugs:

[arbon]

I'm just sorry to hear this :-( Wishing you all the best, you will get through this (((hug)))

[Faith_G]

I'm sorry your dad rejected you. :hugs: While you are looking for a place, please keep your wits about you and be careful. I'm praying someone kind takes you in while you get back on your feet.

[Kelly Blaine]

Do please be careful. I am so sorry about your situation and wish you the best. Please go to shelter since I am so worried about you.

[curiousrabbit]

Ugg, that is a really bad sittuation you are in... it probably seems bad, but you still have a lot of options open to you! Getting kicked out isn't the end of the world (as long as you have some thoughts on what to do next).

Here are some ideas off the top of my head (I wish you would have asked about wanting to come out to your father first!)


Option 1: Go back to your father and tell him you were wrong (even if you weren't). Tell him you think it might just be a phase and ask to come back for a while. Then, while at home, use that setting to secure a place to stay and a job and everything else you need to tell him goodbye (without him being able to affect your life so greatly).

Option 2: Extended Family. Chances are you have some extended family that are a bit more understanding and accepting and could lend you a hand. Start sending out emails to all the family you know (family is much more likely to lend a hand in my experience).

Option 3: Hostels (very cheap hotels kind of, rent a bed for maybe 10 dollars) or shelters (these fill up fast each night). At least gives a place to stay other than your car (though, living in your car isn't undo-able).

Option 5: Look for LGBT organizations in the area. There are actually programs set up for this type of thing I believe. They can give some good advice and maybe even some ideas on places to stay. You still have a car so you are already a lot better off than some people! (Bright side of things? )

[Bree-asaurus]

Sorry you have to deal with this :(

[Juliemckay]

I did a quick web search, there are several LGBT orgs around that may be able to help.

Jenna, if you get a chance do a search for some orgs close by, I would bet they will be able to help. NE Ohio is a large area, I don't know what would be the closest to you

[thechic]

Sorry to hear that,all the best Your welcome here but I think Napier new zealand is a bit far,I never told my farther that i was the way i am because i just new what he was like.He dieded in 2000 thinking i was normal.

[Steph.TS]

I'll be praying for you, please keep updated on what happens, I haven't come out to my dad yet because I'm afraid of this very scenario.

[Aprilrain]

Thechic. You are normal.

[Cari]

In the area your best bet is Transfamily at http://www.transfamily.org/


They are a well organized proffesional group.
Hope it works out well for you.

[robyn1114]

That's terrible, I hope things work out.

[juligirl1984]

omg what a rotton thing to do!!!! Im so sorry to hear that your dad is being ignorant... I can help by keeping you in my thoughts?

[Lorileah]

Sorry to hear about your parent. It is really sad when someone really does not know the meaning of love. Anyone can be a parent but it takes a special person to be a mom or dad. Moms and dads love their children no matter what. I hope your father realizes this soon. Most pop songs don't really have a good message but this one did
So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts (the Living Years Mike and the Mechanics). and as the song goes, it could be too late. You did the right thing, you needed to be open. I say this and add that the one person I have not told is my father. It is a tough thing. We spend our lives trying so hard to please them that we are afraid to let them know what we want. So yes in this case I am a hypocrite, but I still think you did it right. I agree with most the above advice but I would not go back and say you had it wrong. A lie won't help. I hope your father suddenly realizes that life without you is worse than his perceived idea about your being TS. You still call him "dad" so we know you love him no matter what. I hope he has the same feelings for you. Good luck :hugs:

[~Emma D~]

Jenny, I really hope things work out for you
Some parents don't want or even try to understand what their children are going through. Clueless.
Be Careful and Safe.

[Jonianne]

Jen, my heart goes out to you.

Here is my prayer for you:

Don't lose your way, with each passing day.
You've come so far, don't throw it away.
Live believing, dreams are for weaving.
Wonders are waiting to start.
Live your story, Faith, Hope & Glory,
Hold to the truth in your heart.

Souls in the wind, must learn how to bend,
Seek out a star, hold on to the end.
Valley, mountain, there is a fountain,
Washes our tears all away.
Worlds are swaying, someone is praying,
Please let us come home to stay.

If we hold on together,
I know our dreams will never die.
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by, for you and I.

From "If we hold on together" sung by Diana Ross

[Myojine]

I suggest arson.
hehe im evil like that.(excuse me for this but i really dont care much for pathetic human actions anymore, i have a heart colder than ice)
no, seriously someone like that doesnt deserve to be called father or deserve to be alive.
a parent should be a care giver a child and care for their children.
Your father is a pathic piece of trash, part of the discust of the vile fairty tales that cause this hume filth.
Those who choose religious and societal values over their own offspring and the beauty of good sentient nature are the scum of this planet.

Sorry if i have nothing constructive to say, all i have ever know in my life is pain hatered and toture because of the way i was born and the way my family and closest people have treated me.

[Jay Cee]

This may be the darkest time in your life, Jenny. For what it is worth, it'll only get better from here.

Be careful out there, sis, and be well.

[Traci Elizabeth]

First thing I would recommend is to go to your local social services office. They maybe able to help with shelter, food, and stipend. Plus they will have a whole list of support groups that can also help you.

What important is that you take action and not let this current situation define you or bring you down. You must always maintain a direction forward even if very small steps at a time.

[Inna]

I am so sorry for your hardship, I very well know what it feels like first hand and also am staring homelessness face to face. I wish I could help.

Love, Alexia

[JennyA]

Thanks everyone. It hasn't been all bad. The worst thing that happened is that I haven't been able to get to the library for a few days to check on my post. It was so much fun waking up every 45 minutes to turn the car back and to get heat, but then wonder how much heat you should give yourself so that the gas doesn't go away.

But anyways,
I was at a hotel one night. That was fun. I practiced and perfected my makeup. Another plus is that I threw away all my male clothes. So I'm full time now forever. Being out in public is a breeze now that I'm in this bad situation. Any feeling or care of what someone thinks of me flew out the window when I got in this situation.

In the end, although tough now, this is going to be the best thing I ever did for myself.
I got some phone numbers in my private messages. i'm gonna call you all today and see what's what.
I've sent texts and calls to everyone I know. I'm waiting to hear from the ones who havent responded. Gotten 10 no's for a place to crash, but all I need is one yes.
Now I'm off to check craigslist. I hope their's a lead.

Thanks for your support everyone.

[Melody Moore]

Jenny, its good to hear that you are taking it all in your stride & dealing with it in the most
positive of ways. It really good to hear that some offers of help have also been coming it.

So keep your chin up & just keep smiling and doors will quickly open for you.

Good Luck :hugs:

[Mistybtm]

What has your mother said about all this??? can she help you?

[Billijo49504]

I think your best ideas are to the local social services orginizeation or United Way. Also try connecting to some of the local churches or LGBT group. Every body in your area, can't be as bad as your dad. Good luck and stay posative....BJ

[JennyA]

I'm back at the library again. I have a lead tonight with an old friend to get some gasoline and I think i can make it to akron to stay somewhere for a couple days.

I got discriminated against today too! First time that's ever happened to me as a person. I went to CSL plasma to give blood and make $20 for food. I've done it numerous times in the past. Today I went in female clothes with makeup on. They took me in the back room and the worker and a nurse told me they had to ban me because they don't allow gay males to donate. I tried to explain that I was Mtf TG and that I'd never had sex with a man nor did I consider myself gay. They still banned me because of how I looked. It was a new experience. Probably for the best I hated going there and giving away my life force for a 20 spot.

[Jonelle]

That's terrible... it is people and jusgements like that which make it so difficult to come out!! Ignorance!!!

[Megan Thomas]

I got discriminated against today too! First time that's ever happened to me as a person. I went to CSL plasma to give blood and make $20 for food.

That's awful, but it's not unlike the UK where certain "lifestyles" are excluded from giving blood. mind you, all we get here is a thank you, a cup of tea, and a biscuit.

[juligirl1984]

have you tried talking to your dad again? or did he contact you yet?