keeping manly jobs

[thechic]

Hi guys hope all is going well.
for me its been an up and down time, found out that my entire family even the extended family know about me but that does not now bother me as im out in the open now.
Good thing is i went shopping with my mother and we had a great time a real girls time out.did get a OMG when in one shop, my mother called me over by my male name and referred to me as he and then said he looks after her mother well to the SA,I felt so small,I know she just forgot,as i am her son, the SA then goes on i would of never guessed that you were a guy you just look so pretty,boy did that make me feel good when the SA said that(i know its not true)
Any ways the Question, i would like to know how many of you out there have keeped the male job they were working at after or during the transition.
Im in a real male profession, industrial refrigeration and i do like the job and are having no problems im often referred to the princess engineer.
Hope to here from you soon thanks.:):)

[Aprilrain]

Don't currently have a job but hope to be able to get one in aviation as that is what Ive spent the last 4years and $$$$$ on! It's definitely a male populated profession but I don't thing GGs have a hard time in it (I could be wrong). I could see having trouble as trans though which is why I want to do something girly like cosmetology while I'm transitioning and then when I'm ready go back to flying as stealth as I can.

Anyway what is it with you engineers? Your like the 4th one I've met who's trans.lol.

[Bree-asaurus]

If you have no problems and enjoy your work, keep doing it! Who cares if it is a "manly job"

[Faith_G]

I drive a truck and deliver welding cylinders. It's worked out well so far, I was a model employee (still am, I am much more efficient, accurate, and motivated than the rest of the drivers) pre transition. The company wanted to keep me so long as my customers were accepting. The customers have been OK if somewhat uncomfortable, even though I am in a very traditional, conservative area - I deliver to welding shops on Amish farms! We lost one customer over my transition. Everyone else was happy to continue receiving great service.

It is great fun seeing the reactions of customers who don't know my history when they see a girl rolling two cylinders while they can barely control one. :D It's always a good day when we get a new customer, that's one more stop on my route where I'll be treated like a woman rather than a really weird guy.

[Steph.TS]

If you have no problems and enjoy your work, keep doing it! Who cares if it is a "manly job"
it's not that simple, if I showed up to work wearing a dress tomorrow, I would offend people, people around me would be totally at a loss as they wouldn't understand why I'm doing this, and then I'd have to deal with the mocking, the snickers, the looks, the rumors behind my back etc... I think the OP's question is very valid how do we out ourselves in a way that people around us can understand and/or accept, and allow the smoothest way to transition without the increased risk of losing the job, or the other issues I mentioned.

[Faith_G]

it's not that simple, if I showed up to work wearing a dress tomorrow, I would offend people, people around me would be totally at a loss as they wouldn't understand why I'm doing this, and then I'd have to deal with the mocking, the snickers, the looks, the rumors behind my back etc... I think the OP's question is very valid how do we out ourselves in a way that people around us can understand and/or accept, and allow the smoothest way to transition without the increased risk of losing the job, or the other issues I mentioned.Of course you can't just show up in a dress and expect things to be fine.

The TS roadmap site has a lot of good info on how to approach your company abut transitioning.

Dealing with the judgmental looks, the stony silences, the turned backs, and the stupid gossip is mostly on you. You have to develop a thick skin, which can be difficult on hormones. Attitude is key, though. A happy, confident attitude will deflect and prevent more garbage than you can imagine. It's hard to victimize someone who doesn't act like a victim.

[Bree-asaurus]

it's not that simple, if I showed up to work wearing a dress tomorrow, I would offend people, people around me would be totally at a loss as they wouldn't understand why I'm doing this, and then I'd have to deal with the mocking, the snickers, the looks, the rumors behind my back etc... I think the OP's question is very valid how do we out ourselves in a way that people around us can understand and/or accept, and allow the smoothest way to transition without the increased risk of losing the job, or the other issues I mentioned.

I never said it would be simple. Whatever path any of us takes is going to be difficult. But she did say "i do like the job and are having no problems im often referred to the princess engineer" which I took to mean there is already some acceptance that she is not the typical manly man. She didn't provide enough information so I don't know if she is out at work, or 24/7, if her coworkers think she is just gay or if she is totally in the closet at work. But regardless, I never said she should just show up as herself all of a sudden if she was totally in the closet. Faith already said what I was basically going to say as well... and she knows this from experience.

[Melody Moore]

Attitude is key, though. A happy, confident attitude will deflect and prevent more garbage
than you can imagine. It's hard to victimize someone who doesn't act like a victim.

That is so true, I haven't had any issues whatsoever, but I know that I have a very happy & confident attitude that keeps most problems at bay.

[Aprilrain]

Correct me if I'm wrong but based on other posts Ive read by Thechic I think she is full time. So I assume she is out at work.

[TerryTerri]

My job, making maps, is fairly gender nuetral. So, that aspect won't be much of an issue.

My issue will be that I've worked there 14 years now and most of the folks I work with have been there even longer. These folks have seen me go through two marriages and become a parent to 3 different kids. I think it will be too much of a stretch for most of them to even 'really' see me as a girl.

Additionally, due to numerous reasons it is VERY VERY impractical to even consider seeking employment elsewhere. So, I'll be there another 15 to 19 years before I retire.

My other good news is that I'm about as protected legally in my job as I can be. I really don't see any direct or indirect problems with my management. I actually expect their support. I'll be the 'token' transgender so to speak. They are always talking diversity in the workforce, an all inclusive environment, so forth and so on. So, I figure when I 'come out' finally they will be supportive. As for the folks I work with, it's a crap shoot. I'm sure I will not be disrespected, I do think my mangemant will allow any direct disrespect. But, how it will change my personal interworking relationship is hard to judge. Some will be supportive, some will be ambivilent and some will not care for it. Who does what is anyone's guess at this point. I do appreciate my name in the scheme of things. I won't have to worry about being called by the 'wrong' name. lol!

One other thing, at this point the actual decision to transition or 'remain in stealth male mode' has not been made. Many things with my kids and ex-wife have taken presidence over dealing with my transgender issues. Until those get better resolved, I'm sort of in a treading water situation where that is concerned. It will work it's way out in it's time.

[Stephanie Anne]

Holy run on sentence batman! :P

Anyway, I work in a male dominated field, am transitioning on the job and have no problems aside from the chaos I normally cause. My employers have taken to my transition better than I could ever imagine. Our accounting department head even called me up to help solve an issue and routinely called me Stephanie.

I find keeping things low key and letting people assimilate to your transition at their own pace works wonders.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Im a builder & joiner plus have done many other things over 46 years , so i would have dealt with a lot of people on building sites both for firms & my self as self imployed . of cause now im retired , well should be ,

now the ? can be, was i accepted as male & as a woman . Well to tell the truth it made no difference i deal with the same people that iv known over 16 years here where we live. so those people know my background as iv told most & yes they have become friends ,

The fun side was one firm they all knew me as noel.. & when i turned up they did not really know it was me the 2nd time the same & the 3rd time the boss said when he saw me coming in , is that you noel . so me trying to keep a straight face said after a moment yes it is , . it was oh wow is it realy you, so the repore i have with people is very much a wellcome & we just talk about every thing.

Its your persanality your open ness your being friendly to others that makes the difference & how you treat others .
When i did my interviews for T V the ? was posed to me how will i dress for the job in high heels & a skirt. & going up ladders , I said are you kidding no way. just boots shorts & top oh & the sun hat . yes we do get the sun down here. oh if people call me noel thats cool,

If some people are not sure how to take me i disarm them by saying hi & just being normal. when you do your job & you know what your doing in this case a woman , no one is bothered, & we do have women chippys .

On the job its no different.

...noeleena...

[Melody Moore]

if I showed up to work wearing a dress tomorrow, I would offend people, people around me would be totally at a loss as they wouldn't understand why I'm doing this, and then I'd have to deal with the mocking, the snickers, the looks, the rumors behind my back etc...

Jen, there is your greatest problem with coming out. You worry far too much about what other people think.

There are many transsexuals here that have had to face up to these issues and learn to overcome
them, and they have with varying degrees of success. I believe the more successful transitions are
those that are the happiest, most positive & confident just as Faith also pointed out.

If I had a job when I started my transitioning, I believe that I would have managed to keep my job because I also
have been able to keep all my best friends and make lots of new friends along the way. Coming out at work just
requires some good old common sense & fore thought. Naturally if you just rocked up out of the blue as a female
you would shock people who knew you, but that doesn't mean that you couldn't do it & get away with it anyway.

As so many others have pointed out, acceptance in employment is better than those who have not come out ever realise.

[Dawn D.]

Keeping the manly job? I own the job! More accurately, I own the business, lol! Yes, I was concerned about what it would mean once I transitioned.

I own an ATV (All Terrain Vehicle) retail sales dealership for one of the major manufacturers. I also have a small machine shop that is focused solely on driveshaft repair and balancing for auto, trucks and big rigs. So, I guess my buiness is in the "manly" field, hehe.

Effects? Yep! There have been some negatives. Mostly brought about by the competion. They're always trying to cause trouble. Just goes to show how desperate they are!!!

Anyway, I wouldn't for a minute say it has been easy, yet I have been successful in keeping my doors open and my customers pretty happy.


Dawn

[thechic]

Hi
thanks for your input It just that when i talk to a lot of people they seem to of changed to jobs that woman manly do and just was wondering if there was some reason for it.
I don't ware a dress to work as this would be dangerous but i do were woman's clothing,I'm female 20/7 , half of every body use my male name and im ok with that.

[Sarah Ellis]

This is where I come in here (remember me?) As someone who works in a hugely male dominated workplace with the local authority and in the eye of the public constantly, it is (now too) going to be very difficult to stay in the job. I may only effectively just be starting out compared to most, but I already feel held back in that I have to try and hide the feminine traits at work. The actual job is not really an issue as I'm only on street cleaning or environmental maintenance. But I do know that eventually I will have to change. Although I may be able to transfer to another, less high profile department. The risks associated though will stil be there, just as they would with any employer.

[Melody Moore]

I may only effectively just be starting out compared to most, but I already
feel held back in that I have to try and hide the feminine traits at work.

Sarah, you need to start talking to your HR department, but arm yourself beforehand
with the knowledge about your legal rights under anti-discrimination & workplace law.

You should express your concerns with coming out in the workplace, but also point out why transitioning & keeping
your job at he same time is so important to you. Also ask them if they have any other alternatives where you can
transfer over to a new position where you will feel a lot safer & more comfortable about being discriminated against.

I would also make a point of recording all conversations with your employer or other staff about your gender issues.
So remember most mobile phones have a voice recorder that will pick up a conversation very clearly if carried in a top
breast pocket. If any discrimination or crap occurs, then you have some recorded evidence to back yourself up with.

[Sarah Ellis]

I will of course take all the steps talking to the right people within my local authority. So I will be contactimg my HR and Occupational Health departments as well as my manager and the trade union of which I'm a member of. The one thing is that as an authority to both its employees and the public, they must adhere to our Equality Act (http://www.newcastle.gov.uk/core.nsf/a/equalityactbriefing1?opendocument#protected). This has recently been updated, but I must still prove to them that I intend on living as a woman though. I just wouldn't need the medical advice from them. It still looks a bit of a gray area. But I read it as they'd have no legal right just to dismiss me just because I want to live and work as a girl. The only way they could dismiss or issue a warning would be that if I deliberately offended or intended to offend any other staff member or member of the public. This would of course come under other areas of disciplinery procedures.
As I said in my previous post, I doubt if I could continue in my current position, so would look for something more suited and less public. It could be very difficult in the current economic situation though because of the amount of cutbacks faced by businesses and authorities. But I do know that they couldn't just dismiss me.

[Rianna Humble]

i would like to know how many of you out there have keeped the male job they were working at after or during the transition.

Although not an exclusively male job, the team where I work is 92% male. I came out to them as being transgender about 6 months before my transition, then worked with HR and line managers to prepare for the transition itself. I have kept the same job and have met with acceptance from the whole office. There have been clashes with 2 individuals, but these would have happened even if I had continued to pretend to be a man. I find the acceptance by other women in the office to be one of the best aspects of my decision to transition in place.

[Jessinthesprings]

If you have no problems and enjoy your work, keep doing it! Who cares if it is a "manly job"

I agree why change one more thing in your life when you don't have to. Maybe later on down the road when you decided you want something else but until then keep at it... And if you you love it who cares what others may think. There are pleanty of women who are police, fire, truckdrivers, and construction workers.

[Melody Moore]

I would like to mention my best friend who is MtF Transsexual is a motorcycle mechanic and was one of the
state's most promising motocross riders who also use to test motorcycles for review in the national 'Dirt Bike (http://www.acp.com.au/Website/australasian-dirt-bike.htm)'
magazine. Now she works for a custom motorcycle shop custom-building Harleys. My friend always tells me
her boss is the greatest guy on earth. He is very accepting, supportive & protective of her in the workplace

[morgan51]

I am the owner of my workplace much like Dawn I enjoy what I do, have a couple employees one is aware of my transition one is oblivious. as long as work feeds my soul and my family I will keep at it ,I really enjoy the independence.