I think I'm the ugly friend

[Christy_M]

I was out Saturday night with a very good friend I met on this site who is really pretty with a fantastic smile. While we were sitting having drinks at a different club than we usually visit, she was approached my a Canadian man who was very interested in her. I barely got a glance. Now we are both straight and are not looking to "hook up" but I still feel conflicted about what was I doing wrong.

To top it off, I knew my friend wasn't trying to meet up with anyone and I felt helpless in rescuing her from the interaction. I have been the aggressor in this situation with ggs many time and have had friends try to rescue their pals from my conversation and I couldn't muster the hutzpah to lend a hand.

Now there really wasn't any saving needed and my friend handled the situation admirably so now I am left with two issues:
1. Do I really want the attention or is what happened how I prefer it to happen in the future?
I think I am ok with being second but then why the post?

2. Should I try to interfere with other people's interactions just because I think I need to save someone?
I think I know the answer is to mind my own business unless it is clear there is unwanted attention being given.

Anyone else find themselves in situations like this?

[Kathi Lake]

Christy, it's funny. We think guys are competitive. We know nothing of the dance that women go through in this area. Some of it is appearance. Some of it is nonverbal. Some of it is just the taste of the other person.

So, don't worry about it. You're beautiful! Your "mission" was achieved - to go out and have a good time. If you were going for something more, then you would understandably feel a bit slighted. Remember, there's always someone prettier in the room, so it seems. Enjoy being you.

Kathi

[Shelby]

I think before 2 people go out to a bar with no intention of wanting to meet someone, a specific word, phrase or look should be determined to signal the other one to help. This way there is no guessing as to what you should do next time. As for not getting noticed, that's life and no matter if you are a male or female, someone is gonna get left out at some point.

[Miranda09]

Christy, it's funny. We think guys are competitive. We know nothing of the dance that women go through in this area. Some of it is appearance. Some of it is nonverbal. Some of it is just the taste of the other person.

So, don't worry about it. You're beautiful! Your "mission" was achieved - to go out and have a good time. If you were going for something more, then you would understandable feel a bit slighted. Remember, there's always someone prettier in the room, so it seems. Enjoy being you.

Kathi

I agree completely with Kathi...just go out and have fun. :)

[5150 Girl]

Now we are both straight and are not looking to "hook up" but I still feel conflicted about what was I doing wrong.

Hey, just because you don't wanna go to the party, dosen't mean it isn't nice to be asked. it's an ego thing really.
I have no use for men what so ever. However, I do like getting hit on 'cause it give me a scence that I'm doing somthing right.

[Nicole Erin]

It is a blow to the ego for someone to hit on a friend but not you.
That is why when or if you ever do go out on the hunt, go alone. Either that or make REAL sure you are more attractive than the person you are going with.

Yeah I been in that situation. It was when I was like 19, me and my best friend at a club, and the lady we were both interested in was flirting back with him and I pretty much got blown off.

[Jodi]

Just ask woman about this. Many go through this all the time. Their friends are hit on and they are ignored. Btw, I went through this as a young man. My two best friends were real hunks and then there was this guy. Women would not even realize that I was there.

Jodi

[tamarav]

Hey Christy! Good to see that with Twisted being closed you were able to get to Neighbors.

I think you handled yourself fine, this is something that women go through all the time. Once you have been "hit on" a few times you will realize what a rush and potentialy, what a deflating moment it can be. Always stand behind your sisters, we all need some backup now and then.

It was great getting to meet you at Twisted a few weeks ago, I hope your nervousness starts to drop off soon, you really can have a lot more fun then. Your friend can certainly handle herself well, she is a great role model to follow. I do hope to spend more time with you in the future.

Your sis,

Tami

[docrobbysherry]

What a thot provoking post, Christy! I have NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED what that mite feel like, until now!

Unfortunately, I'll never know! The only human who would hit on me in person would have to be either, blind, loaded, crazy, or DEAD!

[GingerLeigh]

What a thot provoking post, Christy! I have NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED what that mite feel like, until now!

Unfortunately, I'll never know! The only human who would hit on me in person would have to be either, blind, loaded, crazy, or DEAD!

Well, scratch the blind one. That is of course unless you have a convincing femme voice! Dead? Yuck!

[Shelly Preston]

I think you have to remember one thing

Guys dont all have the same tastes.

On another day the man might have approached you and not your friend

[Chickhe]

I thought this was going to be a GG vs CDer experience...doesn't matter really, it is the same situation I had. My wife and I went out for halloween this part year and I happened to pass well all night. We got chatted up by this guy and he was mostly talking to my wife...we figured the reason was because I mostly kept my mouth shut. I could have been the ugly one...and that does bother me a little bit, but it would bother my wife more so I can deal with the rejection. He never read me and I found that facinating. The thing was, from a female perspective, what a bore he was...all he talked about was money, his job, himself, bla bla bla... and he would not go away!... eventually he did have to leave, but it was an experience I will never forget. About being the ugly one, sometimes the goal to meet the better one is to target the ugly one first and win them over so you will have a chance with the best one. You never know...

[NancyTO]

Remember girls, the invite excuse to your friend to go to the little girls room with you always works to escape unwanted attention, since everyone knows that gals need to visit the washroom in packs of two or more.

[Genivieve]

As far as I can see from your profile,
You are very cute. Someone above mentioned
Preference and that is something to really factor in.
I went to schools where I hung out with a lot of a spefific
Ethnic crow of which I did not belong. Needless to say the girls in the
Group often preferred dating what was most familiar to them
Or really white guys.

It didn't help that my best friend was an all American farmboy model.
Even when a girl did show interest I was always like uhm like are you sure
You don't want to date my buddy? I guess I was her preference
Yes a skinny brown dude ugly friend.

Lastly, at some point anybody can be the ugly duckling
If a cute actress like a Christina Ricci or Ellen page
Went out with Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba
Someone tends to feel like the inferior one even though
That is not the case.

At a certain po
crowd. A sweet bunch

[Christy_M]

As far as I can see from your profile,
You are very cute.

Lastly, at some point anybody can be the ugly duckling
If a cute actress like a Christina Ricci or Ellen page
Went out with Angelina Jolie or Jessica Alba
Someone tends to feel like the inferior one even though
That is not the case.

Well, thank you for the compliment and for giving me some different perspective...If my friend was Angelina Jolie, that must have made me Christina Ricci... :) Thank you for making my day brighter.