Telling your GG for the first time

[gaylegirlify]

Hi there i was reading the forum on " if GG could say anything" the main message i thought was being open and honest about crossdressing, therefore i decided to come out to my SO yesterday and spoke to her about every thing, she was most supportive and i felt such relief. The only stipulation she had was she could not walk down the street with me dressed en femme and the children were not to know, so still in the closet but progress all the same. i was wondering what others experienced when or if they came out to there SO's, GG's could also express there experiences of there side if they wish and if that is appropriate.

Freedom to be the girl i am inside wow.

Love

Gayle:battingeyelashes:

[Stitch]

I've told my story many times on the forum, but I'm always happy to tell it again as not only was it a huge faux pax on my side but also rather funny in retrospect.

Me and my soon to be boyfriend (boyfriend of 2 years now) were out in a restaurant. We were on our second date in the middle of our meal. I knew that I really liked him so I better spill the beens on one of my health problems, I am in the process of recovering from ME/CFS which means I have to rest a lot, often having a nap in the middle of the day. He was so touched my honesty (although I'll never know why, as it's not exactly a big deal or even a secret for me) that he decided to share is secret with me.
He looked across my dinner of a Prawn and Cress sandwich, and said
"There's something I need to tell you too."
I looked at him curiously and pretty much told him to fire away.
"I'm a TV"
My brain did what anyone with a sense of humour would have done and laughed heartily. I though he was pretending to be very serious and break the ice with "I'm actually a Television!" I really genuinely thought he was being silly, until I noticed his face hadn't changed. I soon stopped laughing and my brain started going a mile a minute desperately trying to think what he could had said. TB perhaps? It's okay as I'm immune to TB. How do you catch TB anyway? What if he meant something else? Oh crap! He thinks I'm a nut case now. I probably looked like a rabbit in the headlights, and asked for more clarification.
He looked at me Sheepishly he then told me he wore ladies clothing every now again.
I sort of went Oh! I felt like a right git. He'd told me something deathly serious and I'd laugh at him. Still at least it wasn't TB.

I have explained to him why I laughed at him that day, and we both laugh together over the awkwardness of it. Still I admired his honestly and bravery in telling me something so big and intimate.

[Jilmac]

After being in two marriages with disapproving wives (I told them both when we started dating) I met woman whom I came out to on our fifth or sixth date. I thought she would head for the hills and never look back but instead she became my supporter. However she too has no desire to be with me while I'm dressed. I have no problem with that arrangement and appreciate her willingness to accept both sides of me even though I will never go out with her while dressed.

[AnnaCalliope]

My SO and I have been together for about 4 years now and she knew about me even before we started dating, having seen a few pictures of me when I had gone out with one of her gay friends.

She's almost 100% accepting of it, has no problem of me being dressed around the house or even going out shopping with Anna. Of course, she's been exposed the trans-life from a very young age, considering most of her mother's friends were big in the gay scene. She's previously dated three other MTFs and a FTM. So I guess I just got lucky with a GG who was raised in a very accepting household and prefers a little bit of gender-bending.

As for some of my past relationships, my ex-girlfriends' opinions of crossdressing has ranged from acceptance to tolerance to full-on denial. It all depends on the person. But be happy that you've at least found someone who will let you be yourself, even if it is only behind closed doors. Good for you in coming out and good on her for being mostly cool about it. Secrets like that can devastate a relationship.

[JulieC]

Hi there i was reading the forum on " if GG could say anything" the main message i thought was being open and honest about crossdressing, therefore i decided to come out to my SO yesterday and spoke to her about every thing,

The more this happens, the more acceptance there will be of CDers worldwide. MAJOR kudos to you for taking this major step!

[Jenn868]

When I first came out to a girlfriend she kinda understood but but not care too much to look into it any further than just a type of way to express my feminine side. Further down the road after that long relationship ended, I started talking to other friends and love interests. I cam out to 3 of them and all three girls were 100 % supportive and 2 of them help me get dressed up time to time. The one girl actually always gives me great makeovers and take pictures for me and is there for support with anything I need. Its great b/c she likes both sides of me and for who I am.

[kimdl93]

Its been a long time now - ten years - but when I came out to my then gf, she reacted similarly. She was great with my CDing at home and in private, so long as her kids were not exposed to it. After they moved out, she was comfortable with me dressing full time at home and increasingly incorporating femme attire when we go out. Everything takes time.

[JohnH]

I consider myself indeed to be fortunate. My wife and I have gone for walks, she wearing pants with her short hair, and my wearing a dress with long hair.

Johanna

[5150 Girl]

Well, I told my Poalr Bear when we met. Of course the fact that we met on Holoween and I was Sarah Palin that year helped break the ice.
I think the fact she has a gay son and a lesbian daughter makes her a bit more open minded than most.

[Amanda_Nicole]

My wife pretty much knows that I am a cd and is ok with it. The only thing is that I don't get a chance to dress up due to the same situation which is my kids. I still wear panties on a daily basis but hope I could have more.

[Kaz]

If it works, and I can see the ideal (yet again), then yes but it can also be the biggest destructive hell you could ever have unleashed anywhere... no-one is immune... it will hit every avenue of every network you have been involved in. It will instantly destroy lives, careers of people, in a Tsunami... I would not wish this on anyone...

[Jay Cee]

Congrats on your courage, Gayle. I will give you one bit of advice: take it slow. You could overwhelm your wife very easily with your crossdressing. Ease her into it. Take it gently, and one day, you may very well end up out shopping with her, en femme.

[danica d]

I agree with everyone's suggestion to ease her into it. Speaking from experience, my wife has been way more accepting of my CD'ing when I don't push it hard. Everyone is different but as long as you make sure she's comfortable through the process you'll both enjoy it.

[gaylegirlify]

Some awesome stories there , thank you all for sharing, i guess as Kaz says what if it goes terribly wrong, that would definately be a tsunami of major proportions, but the general feeling i get is that most GG's are quite open to cross dressing.
Lotsa love

Gaye. xx

[panda]

I told my wife a long time ago but she totally did not want anything to do with it, but we still got married
A couple of years ago she threatened to leave me if I didn't stop drinking
Today, with sobriety ( and the clarity it brings ) I'm leaving her

Honersty is definitely the best policy - my tip: try and avoid getting married to somebody who doesn't accept you for who you are as ultimately it will all go pear shaped

[Roberta Marie]

Gayle,

Congratulations to you and your SO, to you for having the courage to let her share this part of you, and to her for not running away screaming.

I didn't tell my wife until we were married for almost 30 years. That was almost 4 years ago, and she has been great, getting use to and getting to know this side of me.

The one thing that I must stress is the importance of honest, open communication. And the most important part of communication is listening. Listen to her with the intent of understanding her, and her feelings. Be totally honest with her. If she needs support, it's available in places like the FAB forum here, A Crossdresser's Secret Garden Yahoo group, and local support groups such as Tri-Ess. Remember, you have us to come and talk to and ask questions. She will probably not feel comfortable talking to her friends about this.

Good luck.

Grace,
Bobbi

[Angiemead12]

I told my girlfriend a few years back that I enjoyed wearing panties, that was the start of breaking her in to the rest of my life! It wasnt always easy in the beginning but with constant communication and honesty I was able to get her on board and help me become all that I can be.

[ChristiesGurl]

I knew about Christie within days of our meeting and saw pictures, but, at the time, I didn't know we were going to be so close. When I saw Christie for the first time I thought she was cute, the second time.. there was an outfit she wore and a different wig and something just clicked. I remember saying, "For her, I could be a lesbian." :-) I fell in love with Christie shortly after that, which was in September. It's just now that those feelings are beginning to cross over to Mark. Mark and I are best friends and we are together daily. I get to see Christie two to three times a month and our relationship is much more physically intense.

It's a wild world, but I like it. :-)

[JulieC]

@ChristiesGurl: Wow, what an interesting relationship!

[stephanie203]

I guess my problem coming out to my wife is fear she'll think differently of me, not that she won't be accepting. She's bi anf totally into anything LBGT and has even said in the past she wanted to put makeup on me to see what I look like, wanted to paint my toenails and even to shave my chest and back all without having a clue about my little secret. I know I should consider myself lucky knowing there's almost a 100% chance she'll be accepting and even excited to get into it but I have that fear of her thinking I'm a kinder, gentler guy and tough guy is compromised. I don't know what to do.

[gaylegirlify]

Christies Girl
I envy you both, perhaps someday i will be in that situation although getting on a bit, you are very lucky to have such a wonderfull relationship.

All the best

Gayle

Stephanie, you should just be honest with her she sounds like she would be totally into it. you could tell her that you can be her tuff guy whenever she needs this side of you and her femme gurl when she needs that side of you, best of both worlds. Good luck and hope it works out for you, you are in an enviable position.
Gayle xx

Thank you Roberta Marie.
Having this support group is simply amazing, you are all wonderfull ladies, she will probably be gratefull to have somewhere to go for help as well, slowly i will procede not rushing her.
Gaylexx

[kimdl93]

I agree with Gayle, Stephanie its time to begin coming out to your girl friend. Will she think of you differently? Of course, but that's not a bad thing. Sounds like she's been trying to draw you out - and may even have more of a clue than you think. So get over your fear.

[Kate17]

Gayle

I told my wife after being married 5 years. I had tried to purge before we met but it did not last long so I finally had to fess up to her. Each situation will be different but here is mine.
My wife like the feminine part of me from day one but she never understood the reason I was that way. I can be very male but there is that fem part that you can not hide. Anyway, she was Ok with it but I soon went crazy and she said WHOA. We had to establish boundaries for my dressing but it was all good. Then, I was going to a X mas party this year and asked her to attend - She shocked me by saying yes. Up to that point she had see me dressed with makeup only in pictures. Sure she saw me wearing fem clothes around the house but the full monte is something different altogether. In order to prepare for the event, she bought a book to read up on it - and I have to admit it was a great book. At the party she met a lot of other CD's and GG's and now her attitude is completely changed. She says she understands a lot more and is looking forward to more encounters with Kate. In fact, another friend went to the party with us and my wife just asked her over for dinner - dressed. WOW!!! My wife now believes we are even closer now that she see's the light. So, good things can happen.

[Derp]

I've recently told my girlfriend and she took it in a lot easier than I thought. (It took me a long long time to muster up the courage!)

But definitely slowly ease your lifestyle in, you may end up overwhelming them if you do it at your desired pace and not at theirs.

[Jeannie]

Not long after we were married my wife and I were riding down the road talking about each others past, keeping secrets and other things. She asked me to never keep secrets or do things behind her back because her x had lied to her on a regular basis and would make her back him up to lies she had no knowledge about. She promised me would never do anything behind my back and that she would never lie to me. Let me add here that she had already told everything about herself in other conversations. At this point I decided to tell her my secret and that I never told anyone including my 2 previous wives and asked her to carry this secret to her grave because I would do the same for hers. So I just said that I like to dress up in womens underwear and that I would like to continue and maybe take it a step further. She looked at me and said "don't do it behind my back that's all I ask". I almost run off the road with joy and told her that I loved her for understanding and now 22 years later I sit here telling all of you about it while fully dressed (with exception of full make-up) in a dress, heels, etc that she picked out or helped me to pick out. I am a very, very happy man, uh girl, uh man oh hell Cross dresser. I certainly can identify with those of you that haven't come out to their SO and wish you happiness and don't give up, you never know what the future will bring. I certainly had no clue that this would ever happen to me. XXXXOOOOO to all of you because you make me and others I am sure feel very good about themselves.


Jeannie

[zoe m]

I told my girlfriend a few months ago, after we'd been together for almost a year and a half. I realized I needed to make a choice either leave her or tell her and I chose the latter. She was totally ok with it and actually seems excited by it. She's an unusual person herself, though, into breaking norms and being herself, so I guess it makes sense. Either way I think it's good to be honest, you feel so much better afterwards.

[t-girlxsophie]

My situation is probably unique in that,as I have stated many times I met my wife online,neither of us were on looking for love and were introduced by a third party,who thought we would get on through no other reason than we lived close,she had no experience of crossdressing and as she has told me before she had maybe even negative opinion of it.indeed if you would have told her 6yrs ago she would be a crossdressers wife she would have told you not to be so daft.

Well we spoke online and on the phone for three months.before meeting and introducing her to Sophie in the flesh so to speak,also in time telling her sons.And As they say the rest is history the honesty from both of us at the outset helped shape our life together and we continued that always keeping the lines of communication open,Honesty was the best policy for us and I think for anyone contemplating spending life together with the one they love.imo of course

:hugs:Sophie

[NicoleScott]

When I told my wife I was honest about what drives me to crossdress and how I like to express myself. What put her at ease with it was the answers to her two main concerns:
- Are you gay/bi (are you bringing other people's bodily fluids into our bed?) No
- Do you want to be a woman? No It's part-time for fun only.