Almost completely out

[Aprilrain]

So there are very few people who don't know about me now. I attend several support groups for another issue and have been for seven years. I have lots of friends there and it's a fairly conservative and catholic crowd. I went to the meeting after it was over and had thinned out a bit but most of the people I know well were still there chatting. My one friend who already knew because I'm living in his house was getting ready to leave when I came walking up to the door when he saw me he asked if I was going in and offered to walk back in with me.

It was funny, weird, strained? It was a group of about 10 guys and they were all just confused. I think they thought that it was joke at first. But my friend who I live with told them that I was "for real" after a few minutes they all went back to their conversations and after about ten minutes a couple of people started talking to me. A couple of people made some friendly jokes nothing rude or insulting just tension breakers.

In another venue were I came out by just showing up as April the reaction was more muted as it is a structured setting and the facilitator already knew. One person was kind enough to come up to me and just be nice and make some small talk I think as a way of saying hey I don't care how you dress. They also said that they thought they had noticed some residual eye makeup but wasn't sure. God if I scrubbed them any harder I'd go blind!

So my wife, sisters, best friend, extended network of acquaintances/friends all know the only ones left are my parents. Everyone else has been the war time equivalent of a south American paramilitary skirmish. My parents are going to be like little boy and fat man rolled into one. And of course there is the outside chance that now that so many people know it will get back to them.

[arbon]

Hi April

Good to hear about this :-)

[thechic]

Hi there April
Good to here that hope things go well.it nice not to have to Hide ,but it does sometimes create other problems that you may have to deal with.

[pamela_a]

April. I'm happy to hear it's gone well for you so far. I wish you well on telling your parents. :hugs:

[Melody Moore]

April, its to good to see you come such a long way in the past couple of months, I can see a totally
different person in you now. You have grown so much in such a short space of time. So well done.

:hugs:

[Aprilrain]

Thanks everyone. It's been a whirlwind ride so far but I don't feel as out of control anymore. It's like when I was first learning to fly airplanes I would try to land but felt so out of control and didn't know what to do my instructor kept having to take the plane at the last minute so we wouldn't crash. But then one day something clicked, body and mind became one and suddenly I found myself able to land an airplane! The landing was rough and bouncy but I did it no one else. Well becoming me has been sort of like that only since this is more of a metaphysical airplane I've actually crashed and burned dozen time or more in the last few months but like a phenix have risen from the ashes anew. I suspect the hardship is not over and am trying to keep that in the back of my mind so as not to get blindsided when I'm flying unrealistically high so to speak.

To night I have to give an informal speech of sorts to a group of people who only know me as April. I'm mostly concerned about my voice. I've been told it's reasonably passable but I feel that I have a long way to go. I know everyone I'm speaking to tonight knows I'm transgendered but I am obsessed with affecting the best presentation possible. I think talking for an hour straight could dry out my mouth and make my voice scratchy. I'll have to remember to bring a bottle of water!

[danielleb]

There's no need to fixate over your voice. If everyone already knows you as April, and accepts you, the voice doesn't matter to anyone there but you. Do your best and I'm sure you'll all come out alive.:D

Good luck by the way.:)

[arbon]

Hope it goes well tonight!

[Cassandra Lynn]

Wow April, you have been one very busy chick huh? I would like to say it has been my pleasure getting to know you, your truly special and give your self a big pat on the back.
Wish i had some great and profound words of encouragement to help you get through the telling of your parents, but i think you'll be fine when the time comes.
Just remember, they love you and any reaction is based on that, no matter how it appears to you.
Too late for you to get this before you speak tonight, but hey.....break a leg huh?

Ttyl,
Cassie

[danielleb]

So I'm dying to know, how did everything go??:battingeyelashes:

[Jorja]

Maybe we need to send out a search party for April???? :D

[Aprilrain]

search party? my ass is too frozen stiff to move! cant wait to start those hormones so i can really be cold.

[Jenn868]

Im happy for u hun that almost everyone knows thats so amazing how you went out and did such a good job! Very pretty

[Leanne2]

Good for you April. I don't voice pass very well but I just try to talk softly and slowly. Good luck with your talk. Are you still current to fly? Maybe not with all of the rotten weather you've had this winter. Tell us how you did when your talk is over. Leanne