Just a little confused

[heatherCD8772]

Hey everyone I have a question to ask you all because many of you are more educated than I on all of this.

Well I was sitting here pondering away about the whole crossdressing thing and my life in general.

Well what I am confused about is what term would best describe ME. I have been dressing since my earliest memories and I do not dress and never did dress for sexual gratification. I have always dressed because it made me feel good and complete in a since(also if I dont dress fully I am not happy, it has to be all or nothing). I dont have any desire to actually become a female because I do like being my male self as well as my fem self.

I have heard that a crossdresser dresses for sexual gratification and a transvestite dresses to fullfill a desire to be fem but then again I have heard it the exact opposite way around!

Oh well I guess that is all I really have to say just kinda confused is all. :confused:

[ladyfydiana]

I dont think you are confused,you just think you need a label for doing what you want and enjoy doing.The moment you analyze CD you take away the enjoyment and comfort that dressing as a women gives.

[Tristen Cox]

A crossdresser is a transvestite, these two words mean the same thing if you look them up..

Don't worry about the labels. What do you feel inside? What do you like? Know yourself better before you go trying to pin a label on anything. We're all crossdressers. Just different levels to it really.

[Rachel Ann]

I have heard that a crossdresser dresses for sexual gratification and a transvestite dresses to fullfill a desire to be fem but then again I have heard it the exact opposite way around!No, the two words are equivalent. Some crossdressers are transgender and some are not. The older word transvestite is considered a slur by many nowadays. And official medicine is, as usual, way behind the curve. They only recognize TSs and "fetish crossdressers". Officially, the rest of us don't exist. :p

[GypsyKaren]

I think the best word to describe you is "person", probably a nice one at that. I wouldn't worry about trying to find a label for yourself, they're only words that mean so little.

GypsyKaren

[MarinaTwelve200]

Of course we need "Labels" if we are going to think about something---you cant think about anything and mull it over in your mind if you dont name it something. Dont confuse labels with Stereotypes.---thats the big mistake the 'anti-label ' proponents are guilty of.

Unlike an "escapist CD", you are not 'escaping' from your real male self---but unlike a "TS CD", you are not escaping TO your real FEM self either--- no--you seem to have TWO identities that are both "you"--the "fun element" for the Multi ID CD" is the changing of identities themselves---Crossing the psychological "line" between one side and the other---something the brain naturally resists---but triggers a "rush" effect when you push oveer the line anyway.

BTW-----Crossdressing is only wearing the clothing of the opposite biosex---nothing more or less. Crossdressing is what a TV DOES---but other types, fetishists, Trannsexuals, Humiliation SM freaks, and several other types Crossdress also--Its the reason behind one's crossdressing that tells us somthing about the person. CD alone is a mere symptom of many conditions, and not the name of a condition in itself.

[ronna]

You don't need a reason, Heather, your reasons are your own, no matter what anyone else says.

Trans = Cross
Vest = Dress

You do the math!

[Billijo49504]

I some what agree with Gypsy, Only I'd say human being. If you need labels, look in the back of the neck of your tops, that's where they sew them. :)

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Technically both worlds mean the same thing. "Transvestite" came first, coined back in the 1920s well all good academics used Latin-sounding terms.

"Transvestic Fetishism" is a term still used in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the main reference used by U.S. mental health professional. It refers to cross-dressing for sexual purposes -- although it should be noted it only applies to those who's dressing becomes so obsessive it impairs the rest of their life.

In an effort to gain respectibility, back in the 1970s organizations like Tri-Ess used the term "cross-dresser" instead and insisted dressing had nothing to do with sex. TSs also denied that it had any sexual component because doing so -- and still does -- can cause them to be denied surgery.

So TV has acquired overtones that CD doesn't, and often is the term of choice for girls who want to be ****ty. Unfortunately, the "no sex please, we're transgendered" stance denies the reality that for many (most?) CDs that reality is a bit blurrier. Particularly in our teen years, dressing does often involve a sexual component. That often becomes less important over time compared to other factors, but still is present some of the time for many people.

Of course everyone is different, so there are some for whom CDing is wholly sexual and others for whom it never is.

[JocelynG]

Don't worry about labels Heather. You know who you are inside. Cherish that and remember that you are you not some stereotypical label. You should dress for you

[Lisa Maren]

Hi Heather.

I encourage you not to throw out the idea of using a label but instead take care to use a label that is a prototype rather than a stereotype. A prototype is a label that you get to invent and use whereas a stereotype is a label someone chose and forced onto you. I totally understand and mostly agree with the others here who say just use the term "person" since those stereotypes have indeed been the source of much embarassment and pain, but using prototypical labels can be quite useful. Keep in mind that a prototypical label need not be final. You can alter it as much or as little as you please.

We need to have some framework within which to work when understanding ourselves. Unless you decide, for yourself, what's north and what's south, so to speak, you'll never be able to keep track of which direction you're traveling in. My point is that you do not have to be adrift like that.

For what it's worth, I consider myself, prototypically only, "partially transgendered" meaning that I do what I do because I love being a girl, yet I remain unconvinced that surgery is the answer for me.

Lastly, don't worry about figuring this all out today. It may take months or years. Worry more about enjoying yourself and keeping your head up along the way. Meanwhile, we're all here for you.

Hugs,
Lisa