Closet dressers, how did u tell your male buds you dress in private?

[docrobbysherry]

NOT your SO or relatives. U may be used to having intimate discussions with them. But, if you're like me, u DON'T with your male buds!

Remember, NO ONE would EVER guess I dress! I'm a typical, sloppy, facial hair, "Hey, how 'bout those Lakers", kind of guy.:straightface:

Should I say, "Have u ever seen a CD up close?" Then, go from there?
Or, "What if I told u I have a new hobby. I wear ladies clothes!"
Any other suggestions?

What then?
If they ask me, "Why?" Should I tell the TRUTH? That it excites me! :o Or, simply defer answering?

Should I admit I've been doing this privately for many years and have CD friends around the globe? That I now go out occasionally and dress to the 9's? What if they want to see a picture? They'd crap owls if they saw Sherry!:eek:

Have any closet CDs out there told your male buds? How'd u do it? :brolleyes:
Maybe we should all just stay in our closets for the time being?

[RADER]

I would not even dream about telling any of my male friends.
I hold an office in the American Legion and the VFW, Should I be outed,
I believe I would be "Black Balled" by both org. I would not like that at all.
So in the closet I stay. Besides, Paul Bunion just does not look good in a dress. LOL Rader

[Joanne f]

It completely depends on your situation of needs as far as your male friends go`s but i would not directly tell them , i give people little hints by what i wear and things like makeup and nail varnish and let them decide , if they speak to me again then fine if not that their choice, you will soon know if they are accepting of it or not without having to say " hey i wear women's clothes"

[Samantha43]

I would never tell my male friends. There are a few things that are more important to me than crossdressing. Friends are one of them. I would never want to damage a friendship, and that is what it would happen if I told them. No one would ever know I am a crossdresser. I can belch, fart and talk sports with the best of them. I want to keep it that way.

[Sarah Doepner]

I haven't told my buddies, but I've thought about it recently. It seems to me that it's something that will be unique to each person and situation. I'll be looking for opportunities, but I'm not sure how seriously I'll pursue this choice just yet.

I just re-read your post. It will be easier to tell them I dress in private than it will be to tell them the truth that I dress and go out in public and am active in a support group and spend plenty of time on-line with my girlfriends. Yeah, as Samantha says, it's nice to have folks with whom you can belch, fart and talk sports without having any sub-text to worry about.

[jennifer easton]

what are u nuts, why would u, if your closeted, makes no sense, your not going anywhere, no one will see u, are u self destructive???

[JulieC]

I only told one male friend of mine, and that was because we were having a heart-to-heart discussion. He was trying to come out Gay, after being heavily closeted, and I was the first person he told. I was telling him "We all have secrets", and so I told him.

I've never told any other male friend of mine. There's no point for me. I gain nothing by it. I'm not going to be dressing in front of them. I don't have any desire to discuss the general issues of crossdressing with them, or my inner feelings about it, or anything else. Telling them would bring nothing to the table that I don't already have, and risks things that I do not currently risk. So, I don't tell them.

[Chickhe]

I would not, except I would admit to dressing up for halloween. If asked I just say it is fun because I enjoy the reactions of the people at the party...which is true. As far as other times... no one wants to know the details...I'm sure. Its like having a hobby your friends are not in too...its just not a topic we share.

[RebeccaLynne]

If they ask me, "Why?"

Yeah, that's my question, too.

Although my query is different, as in: Why do you feel a need to disclose this particular aspect of your personality to your friends? Risk versus reward, and what do you hope to gain? Just wondering...


Have any closet CDs out there told your male buds? How'd u do it? :brolleyes:

Not about to. Really not something I think we'd share in common.


Maybe we should all just stay in our closets for the time being?

Seems too confining. Closets are for wardrobes. That's why I consider myself an "in-house" crossdresser, rather than a "closeted" one. I just don't feel the need to "out" myself to my friends.

However, do let us know how it goes if you tell 'em. Should be interesting.

[Gerrijerry]

"Should I admit I've been doing this privately for many years and have CD friends around the globe? That I now go out occasionally and dress to the 9's? What if they want to see a picture? They'd crap owls if they saw Sherry!:eek:"

To me that says you already go out and you are not in the closet. So please this is no closet question.
As for telling others I have when it was needed but to just tell people . That would be like trying to say something that most are not really interested in. Why do that? what is the need to tell others, are you trying to make a point about it for some reason?

[BiancaEstrella]

No chance I'd ever tell a male friend, unless I already had the benefit of knowing that they were a crossdresser too. If I'm found out, I'd tell information as it needed to be revealed (which is to say, I wouldn't say very much), but if I'm online shopping for Dani and a male friend text messages me, the answer to "whatcha up to?" will invariably be "this and that."

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Hell no way I would tell my "aquaintances" loosely termed friends/mates. It would become public knowledge fast and I treasure my peace and quiet life at home. I have a hectic and stressful work place so no need to make my CDing known to "aquaintances". Like I bet I would get invited on a deep sea fishing trip to spend some time on the oceans bottom providing entertainment for those carniverous creatures that frequent those depths. I have not even got a nice swimsuit for that date so I can't go.

[GingerLeigh]

Uh,... no.

You know I always thought I'd look prettier if my lips were fuller, not fatter and split wide open from a punch! That's about all I'd gain if I told my buddies about my softer side. A fat lip and maybe a broken nose. After that, I'd have no friends at all.

Ginger

[Michelle 51]

what are u nuts, why would u, if your closeted, makes no sense, your not going anywhere, no one will see u, are u self destructive???

Why don't you tell how you really feel girl.I was thinking along those same lines but you already said it.No offense sherry.

[2B Natasha]

I have not told any of my male friends. Mostly because they wouldn't care one way or the other once the questioned where asked. I kind of tested this thetis when I went to our fantasy football draft in flip flops. Big deal you say. I had all my toes painted as usual. This night they where silver with black tiger stripes and a glitter top coat. 14 guys. Only comment in 3 hours was " nice nails " not another word was or has been said.
But honestly. Why tell them? What's in it for you? For them? Are you trying to shock them for any other reason except you will?

So unless they are raving on about how vile tranvestites are or such I would keep it to yourself.

[Crissy Kay]

I have only a couple male friends. I have the same reason not to tell them anything, that I use for my family too, its just none of their business.

[Vikki Vixen]

I agree with others, I can't see the point. I could reveal it to my friends but I know already how each individual would react so why should I. They don't need to know because I don't go out in public. Most of them do know of my love of high heels so I just assume some might have an idea.

[herwannabe]

Simply, I don't........ I have a brother that I think knows.... but it is not out i the open and I don't want it to be

[suchacutie]

No interest in telling them at all. I just don't see the point for me :)

[DebsUK]

Surely this is a "need to know" thing, and why would your male friends need to know?

[DeniseNJ]

I told 2 male friends about Denise , I even told one of them I went out as Denise before. Yes the one I told has seen me dressed for Halloween so he has seen Denise before. Reason for telling was , the wife was gonna out me after a fight so I decided that they should hear it from me.. Both guys were cool about it and I even showed pics, the one calls me lady now when we talk

[AliciaCheerCd]

I have confided in a buddy only once. He is someone I have been friends with for a long time, and who I knew was open minded enough to listen and not judge. It felt great having that chance to speak aloud about it. He has even witnessed me dressing. We don't really talk about it now, but only because it doesn't really come up. I doubt any of my other friends would be so accepting so I have opted to quietly keep it to myself in their presence.

[Miranda09]

I just came right out and told my best male friend (after a long time thinking about it) and he had no problem with it. In fact, he's been very supportive! :)

[sometimes_miss]

No current male acquaintances know I crossdress as far as I know, and I don't intend to tell them. They're good people in every other way, they just don't understand the concept of straight crossdressers (much like the rest of the general public).

[Eryn]

Cost/Benefit. Are you going to benefit from the revelation? Is the benefit worth the possible cost?

In my case, absolutely not. My friends would likely understand, but it wouldn't strengthen our friendship in any tangible way and bears the possibility of disaster.

[RikkiHauser]

I always questioned the need for people to tell others (besides your SO) that they crossdress, especially if they have no intention of dressing that way in public or transitioning. I don't talk to them about why I chose those camouflage pants to wear today or why I chose the red shirt over the black one or why I chose the boots over the tennis shoes. They don't need to know that while I am at home I am wearing the black stockings and heels with a blue dress. It's just something I do. No need for me to talk about it, just like when I pee in the shower (Awesome Guttermouth song, if you like that kind of music). :) My freinds and I have a lot of other, much better, things to discuss. The only person I'd ever tell would be my wife / girlfriend.

What would you hope to accomplish by telling them (not saying you shouldn't do this, but just curious)?

[AnnaCalliope]

I stopped being a "closet CD" almost 10 years ago, so this doesn't really apply to me. Most of my male acquaintances know, mainly because if they've been over at my house, they've seen me dressed. No one at my office knows, though I imagine a few suspect something because I wear somewhat feminine jeans and sneakers.

So far, all of the guy friends I've come out to, none have really been that weird about it. I get the usual, How long have you felt this way? and do you plan on transitioning? And most times that's the end of it, and we're back to talking about geek stuff.

[Lilaka Ananda]

Show up at the company or neighborhood Halloween party in full regalia and show them what an awesome time you're having. They'll figure it out without you having to say anything.

[Andy is Andi Too]

I've shared with one friend who is gay and we have been friends for over 20 years. This is a very close, tell all type friendship. But I did share with one who I was a bit less close with. He acted very accepting but I could tell he couldn't really get his mind around it. After that I felt uncomfortable that he knew and I was more sensitive to times when he seemed to nervously joke about it. I stopped hanging around him as much. I think I realized that, for me, a friend is someone who can be comfortable with who you are down deep. I know many just want "hanging out" friends but I've never been much for that. I've always been interested friends who are real close and supportive and from which I don't have to hide things. Just me though.

[sarac]

I was out one night and ran into a problem. I could not call my wife so I called my best friend to come get me. When he saw me I said please dont ask me just get me home. He was so cool said nothing. Later that week I told him. All he said was you looked really good, hes the best. I probably should tell him that.

[Zoie]

You know this thread got me thinking it would make one heck of a funny commercial or SNL skit...

::Two buds in a boat fishing::

Carl: So bill hows the family?
Bill: They are fine sarah has been on my case lately about our insurance
Carl: Well bill do you have [insert insurance company]
Bill: Why no I don't do you?
Carl: Yes I do but off topic bill Im wearing panties and love to dress up as sarah palin on saturdays...
Bill: [choking on his beer] WTF did you say...
Carl: well...

No matter what or how you said it the ending might be terrible as stated above. Unless its someone you know wouldn't judge you but then again just the things most friends say about gay people would make you think twice cause as soon as you admited too it they would assume you are gay or want to be a woman.

[docrobbysherry]

I've come to my senses again. What was I thinking? :brolleyes:

The urge to tell a bud about Sherry seems to have passed! :thumbsup:

And, I've put some new Baldwin deadbolts on my closet door!:D

[stephi]

This would be absolute bonkers (unless buds were into flower arranging). I can remember the response that a gay guy had at college when he came out to us (was a shame for him). Life gone as he knew it. There arent any close circles of TV friends where I am to fall back on so to speak. Scared even thinking about it.
Good luck to all who try and not to be sexist but anybody who does has bigger xxxxxx than I.
XOX
Stephi

[Colleen03]

I didn't. My male friends all think I'm very hard core and macho, so that would ruin that image fast. Even if I did tell them, they likely wouldn't believe me, or they would laugh it off.

[Jonelle]

If I did, which I won't, I would probably be called all kinds of derogatory things!! Although I have enough embarassing stories about each of them that hmmm..... I'm getting an idea!!! :-D

[Briana90802]

Well I just told my best friend that I crossdress. We meet in Vegas occasionally and I told him that we would get together for the Divas Las Vegas. And then when he asked what that was I gave him the website. It worked pretty well and thankfully he's a very open-minded guy.

[NicoleScott]

No way I would tell. They don't need to know.
Most of my friends are pretty smart people, educated, hold good jobs, etc. etc. but I don't think they would know what it means to be a crossdresser, and what it doesn't mean. They would assume crossdressers are gay, and going out dressed means trolling for a pickup. While that may be true for some, it certainly isn't for all. I wouldn't trust that they would have any other view of crossdressing than what they see in the movies, Springer, etc. Springer? Did I say they were smart people? I stand corrected.