Another spanner in the works

[Kokoro]

Just when things were going so well I've had a bit of a reality check.

As most will know I intend to move to Japan in a few years time once I've completed my degree. I'm currently taking Japanese lessons with a native Japanese speaker. I asked her out of curiosity the Japanese stance on transgendered individuals. Her reply was 'On the whole - not good'. Basically I won't get harassed like I might in a Western country and people will talk to me and be polite but when it comes to maintaining contact or workplace situations I'll most likely get the cold shoulder - and that's if an employer will even hire me. Like most things with Japan people are polite and courteous just to maintain face even if they don't really like you.

The dream about going to Japan was pretty much what brought me out of my chronic depression, even before I came to open up to my transsexualism, and it's been my main driving force for the last 2 years.

I'm scared now and don't know what to do. Shall I become the girl I feel I am and forsake my dream of going to Japan, or stay as I am but head out on an experience of a life-time? Or option 3 - transition, and just hope for the best in Japan?

:sad::sad::sad:

[Laura_Stephens]

What is it that makes you want to go to Japan? Career? Family?

[Melody Moore]

Personally, I think you should just focus on your transition for now and put Japan on the back-burner. I am looking at it this way... It you transition before you go, then all your paperwork & everything else will be female. Hopefully you will have had enough time to feminise more & train your voice to help you be even more acceptable in a place like Japan. This way if things don't go well in Japan, you can always go to back to the UK or better still, it's only a short hop down to Australia. The airfare from Tokyo to Cairns is dirt cheap. If you have Japanese language skills, you might be able to get work in tourism here in Cairns where I live because we get lots of Japanese tourist coming here. With you being young & from the UK with a degree should make things pretty easy for you to get permission to work here if you wanted to try another alternative to Japan if things didn't work out & then your Japanese language skills don't go to waste. I have found Cairns is very accepting of transsexual people and there is a gender centre here that is free to see doctors & pyschologist.

[CharleneT]

You may have to consider whether you feel strong enough to buck the tide in a foreign country ? I'm not saying it is a good or bad thing to do, but it is harder than doing so in your homeland. I don't know much about Japan, but what I do know is from close friends who lived and taught there for 5 years. So pretty good info. I can ask them about it if you want. Their descriptions of other things would support what your language teacher said, a generally polite country, but one where if you don't fit, the road to acceptance can be hard. It is a lot of things, but in Japan social interactions are fairly rigid in structure. Could be a hard place to be TG. BUT, if you are passing pretty well when you get there, could also be fine. They are too polite to say anything.

[curiousrabbit]

You should probably have a job in japan BEFORE you up and move there. Don't count on just finding something... it can be expensive over there and who knows how long it might take to find work.

They generally favor japanese over non-japanese for hiring (unless you go to teach english). Because you aren't japanese, you will have a MUCH harder time advancing and moving forward in a career (even in teaching... sure, you can make a little money teaching english...but beyond that becomes much much more difficult).

Add in being a transexual? Things become much more difficult. Unless you pass well (then, it wouldn't be as much of a problem and you can just go stealth).

[MaidJamie]

Hi Kokoro

In my opinion you need to separate your decisions about transition and where you will eventually live and work.

Unfortunately there's a potential you'll experience some discrimination wherever you decide to settle.

The decision of whether you transition or not is the most important decision of your life. It's most likely the biggest source of your depression. Once you deal with it you'll feel like a new person.

Don't make the mistake of dreaming that moving to Japan will fix your problems... From my experience "you can run from yourself but you can't hide".

The opportunity to go to Japan doesn't change. It's still there and it's a fantastic goal!

Warm thoughts

[Kokoro]

Thanks for the replies everyone. There's always people who give advice during a crisis and I can't tell you how thankful I am for that. :)

I spent an hour lying in bed last night thinking about this. Eventually I posed the question who what was more valuable to me? Which thing, as painful as it may be, could I possibly do without? I eventually arrived at what should really be the obvious: Travelling to Japan. I've been through so much heartache getting to the point I am at now with my transgenderism, I cannot possibly throw it all away now. And transitioning doesn't necesssarily rule out living and working in Japan. However, going to Japan without transitioning will only create more barriers and problems to overcome should I do choose to transition later.

Thank you everyone. lost my way for a bit there. Back on track now though. :)

[noeleena]

Hi.

I would not worry to much , the younger people are not so bothered , we have a few here in Kiwi land & i do photography work for our Race relations group & im accepted with out any details,

mind you we do have many diffferent peoples here if any one was going to be told to not be with them it would be me why , as most know i dont pass in any way as a woman yet im just accepted. you know the story , dont put stumbling blocks in your path. well you have a dream so go with it till you get there. you wont know ,
iv had friends go over who are trans & were accepted & they had a great time.

...noeleena...