In need of some advice

[joannablake]

Greetings, as you can tell by the other page I am new to this site. First let me give you some history on myself. I started wearing panties when i was nine years old, I use to sneak into my cousins room and take a pair of panties out of her dresser. I like many other at that age did anything I could to get ahold of female clothing. Everything from taking it from the Apartment laundramate to going to the goodwill or salvation army late at night hoping to find something. Until I found a job and starting earning money in which then I started buying straight from the store. I feel so complete when I am dressed all the way from makeup to the sexiest lingerie I have. I fell in love two years ago this November with an old school sweet heart. One of our friends had kept her informed on where I was and how I was doing. We met on the thanksgiving weekend of 2002 and imediatly fell in love with each other. She was the first one to break the ice by saying that she knew about me dressing like a woman and was totally fine with it. We have been married little over a year now and it has been a rough road. It seems that once we got married she thought that I would stop dressing and settle down in the male position. Well I settled down in the male position but I was wearing female clothing at the same time. We have been fighting back and forth ever since I tried everything, Even tried to stop dressing but I felt I was giving everything up and she wasnt budging an inch. So far she is unwilling to even to talk about it anymore. I know that there has to be someone out there that went through this before I would much appreaciate your comments or suggestions to help out this situation hopefully for the better.

Love Always
Joanna

[Amelie]

I am sorry, I have never been in this situation. I have no SO. All I can say is to read some of the threads, some deal with your situation. There are others here who have had your problem, they might give you suggestions. But it's going to come down to you and your wife working it out. You have a small child to think about, which makes it so much tougher. I wish I could help, but I don't have a magic wand, maybe one of the others have better answers.


Wish I could help

Love Amelie

[Bernadina]

This is an old situation that I've seen before.

One of the partners, usually the woman, seems to have a belief that once married that the male partner is suddenly going to give up x. Where x is something like: watching sports, hockey, motorbikes, model railroading, bowling night, the Masons, beer, crossdressing etc.

Or she figures she can reform or fix him. So before marriage, she goes along with accepting the way he is.

The bottom line is that we can only change, reform or fix ourselves.

The time for your wife to express her real feelings was before the wedding, not after.
Unfortunately its a bit late for that.

The main issue right now is that communications have broken down. The first prioity is to start talking again. It may involve getting outside support or counselling. Please come to a mutually acceptable position about dressing before anything else arises.

You may both have to compromise.

Find out what she wants in return.

I knew my wife like to watch hockey and she knew I x-dressed before we were married. Neither of us had any expectation of the other giving up their hobby. So today, while she watches her team lose, I try on my clothes and get her opinions during the breaks.

Best of luck Joanna and let us know how it progresses.

Hugs.

[joannablake]

Dear Bernadina,

I completely understand where your coming from my wife smokes like a chimney but I have never once complained about it she says she know the affects of it but just cant put them down. I asked her why she complains and wants me to change when I havent tried to change her. All I get in return is a cold shoulder as she walks out the door to go smoke. So finding out what she wants to swap it with is up in the air as well. I have to agree with you about saying something before the marriage even took place, but like you said it is kind of late for that. I am wanting to get out side help because in my line of work they deeply deeply frown on crossdressing or anything that is not the "normal". The main problem is that I travel alot and am not at home, expecially this year. And you would think being away from home I would dress all I want but like I said in my line of work it will get me fired in a heartbeat. I am currently looking for a job that I can stay home more and be with my family. So I guess I am stuck between the pervibial rock and the hard place. I will keep you girls informed on what is going on, and maybe help you help me out some more.

Love Always
Joanna

[kay_cd]

These lirics are taken from the group five for fighting and the CD The battle for everything.
Life is not easy and I often feel like it is a battle rather than a pleasent walk through the rose garden... however,,,,,,,just ain't that way

THE DEVIL IN THE WISHING WELL

I met Jane at the center of the earth
It was dark there was dirt all around
But I gather you can figure that
Jane says I'm your body in the night
And I'll lead you where you might find yourself
Better if you follow me
So go right you'll be left at a big hotel
You'll meet the devil at the bottom of a wishing well
You know you better give him something
Give him something good
Like everybody eles he's misunderstood
Jane says it's a long way out..........
I'm gonna make it out
Cause I'm about her
Jane says, you're as holy as a ghost,
But who loves you the most, If you offer
I might let you carry me
Jane there's nobody here but yourself
In the end it's the wealth of your spirit
Now hurry up get on with it
I went left got right at some big hotel
There was a devil at the bottom of a wishing well
He said you better give me something
Give me something good
Like everybody else I'm misunderstoood
Jane says it's a long way out
I'm gonna make it out
I took a guess and cut a portion out of my heart
He said that's nowhere close enough but it's a damn good start
I wrote the secret that I buried in the wishing well wall
He said I've seen one.... It follows I've seen them all
We spoke of human destination in a perfect world
Derived the nature of the universe ( found it unfulfilled)
As I took him in my arms he screamed I'm not insane
I'm just looking for someone to understand my pain...
It's a long way out
I'm gonna make it out

[HillaryArtemis]

Hard situation for you to be in. When I first was married I showed my wife and she was really scared. Six years later, I showed her again and this time she accepts it fully and even helps. Marriage takes time to work things out. Don't expect her to awake tomorrow and be enlightened, and don't change yourself. Bring things in slowly around her, don't involve her more then you wish too at that time. Don't flaunt that you are dressing, but don't deny that you are either. Just keep working on communicating with her.


Good Luck,
JodiArtemis

[joannablake]

Dear Hillary,

thank you for the advice I know it is going to be a long slow process but the fruits at the end will be will worth it if my wife and me come to terms. The hardest part is to keep the communications lines open she will keep things in tell she cant keep them in any more, she is going to see a councilor about the issues she has about opening up. So hopefully this will be a step closer to finally putting this to rest.

Love always
Joanna

[kristi cd]

I don't know what I can really do to help besides offer encouragement as I don't really know what it's like to go what you're dealing with. Good luck, and I hope all works out well in the end. :)

[joannablake]

thank you kristi that all any of will ever need is to have people behind us and encourage us and help us. thank you

Love always
Joanna