Forced Feminization?

[Persephone]

Not the usual story about the dominant wife and the maid's uniform.

But so many here talk about how there can be mood swings to crossdressing, about how sometimes they just don't feel like dressing up or that it's too much work.

Well, in the life I've created I don't get that choice. Like a GG, there are times I have to do my best to look "pretty" regardless of mood or no mood.

Many of the places I go, even when running errands, don't know me as anything but a woman.

Another whole group of places now accept and treat me as a woman and they do their best to be appropriate, reffering to me by my femme name and so on.

So if I'm going to the post office or the bank, the grocery store or the hairdressers, or a ton of other places, I have to be en femme.

How could I do otherwise and betray their trust?

As a result, I can't "opt out" of my regular body shave and the other things that it takes to be always ready.

The right words might not be "forced feminizatoin," but it does mean that there can't be any "I just don't feel like it" days.

I'm sure there are many others here who are doing the same thing. What's your story of what it's like?

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Phyliss]

I think I understand what you're getting at. I'd call it "Situational Presentation"

Two examples: at my gym, the desk greeter is supposed to be pleasant, I know the gal and occasionally we'll chat for a moment and she'll confide that she's feeling down, but when a client walks in, she gives out a wide eyed smile and cheery welcome. Almost like putting on a mask.
The stereotypical "stewardess" with her plastic smile saying "coffee tea, or me"

There are a few places yet where I have to be "the guy" and others, well, they don't know "him". I didn't realize that until just last month. Happened to be passing through the town where my favorite lingerie shop is and figured I'd stop in to just say hello to the owner. Didn't pay attention to the fact I'd left a job, and was looking like any other "guy". Walked in and she was ":eek:" ... "who [B]are[B] you?" was her comment. She'd never seen me like that and, yeah, it did feel odd, when I thought about it.

[Rhonda Jean]

Although I can only dream of being as out and accepted as you are, there are lots of places I go and things I do only enfemme. Some of these have not only never seen my male side, some of them don't even know I have one. As far as they know, I'm full time. I like it that way and want to keep it that way. It would be kind of a reverse coming out for them to see me as anything other than a woman. In an ironic way, it's more difficult for me to back off of the full femme presentation at my femme only places than it is to fem up my male appearance at the male only places. If I knew the entire truth, I'm probably not fooling either of them as much as I think.

[christine55]

I'm the same way. There are many places I will not go in male mode because I have only been in femme. The reverse is also true, I won't go femme to some place I have been to often as a male. This problem is not as bad since I got my femme glasses. My male glasses were pretty distinctive but now that I have a pair of femme glasses which completely change my look I do not think anyone will associate my one persona with the other.
Hugs, Christine

[sandra-leigh]

I went through a time of not going Dressed or gender-bending to places that my wife and I went to relatively often, where I was known on sight. As time wore on, I went to more and more of them with something obviously female, and now there are few places in town that I have not been in obvious female garb. There are still some, mostly by chance, though, especially places I don't happen to get to much.

It did take a bunch of internal adjustment to get to the point of allowing people who "know me" as male to see me in mixed gender or as in distinct female presentation. It was, though, something I had to do for myself, as I am not two people, and I am not "a person with a secret hobby": I live this way all the time. When I stopped by the drug store and book store on the way home last night wearing a pencil skirt and no wig, that wasn't an "outing", that was me.

I did go through what you describe, but in my case I went on past it, and became openly TG, which has been good for me but is not an easy path to follow.

Yesterday noon-ish on the city bus, I had to stand for a time, and some high-school students were obviously laughing and joking and pointing at me, and as one guy went past, he remarked to thin air "Oh look, I have high heels; I'm such a man". I just grinned to myself and sat down. He'll learn, just like the kids of my generation who now mortified at the things they used to do and say Back Then. Me, I'm too busy enjoying myself to care about kids Posing for each other.

But then, I never did worry too much about blending with the crowd.

[sissystephanie]

I go to most places dressed enfemme, but I go to the same places dressed in drab. And that does include a lot of traditional femme places like womens stores or lingerie shops, etc. Of course, now when I dress enfemme I still look like a guy because there is no wig or makeup. But back when I was wearing a wig and using makeup, I was doing the same thing about going out! The people know that I am a CD, so they are not anymore surprised to see me in a skirt than they are to see me in drab! And I certainly don't care! What I wear is my business, and no one else's!! I am not trying to be, or forced to be, a woman! I just like to dress like one!!

[Rachel Morley]

The right words might not be "forced feminizatoin," but it does mean that there can't be any "I just don't feel like it" days. .... What's your story of what it's like?
My story is not the exactly same as yours but it's somewhat similar. I am on the board of a TG support group here in Sacramento. Consequently, I know quite a lot of TG folks in the area and have befriended quite a few as well.

Because of this, all (and I do mean all) of my social activities with my TG friends "have to" be done en femme. Anything to do with the support group, socials, parties, meet-ups, board meetings etc are all done en femme but additionally over the last year or so my wife and I have made friends with a number of TS women and CDers who we socialize with on a fairly regular basis over and above all the times related to the support group.

My point is, all my friends "expect" me to be Rachel when they see me. That's all they know, and the couple of times I mentioned about my having a boy mode they flat out told me that they'd rather not know my boy name and that they would prefer to socialize with me always dressed. I guess this is similar to your situation in that a big part of one's life is now filled with people who only know me as a "girl" and so that's what I have to be for a lot of the time. So it's kinda like you said "there can't be any I just don't feel like it" days" ... not that I'm complaining, of course :)

[Melissa Rose]

I am a member of the same TG support group (River City Gems) as Rachel. We had a conversation about a similar topic a while back. In my case, I choose not to show my male side to anyone who knows my female side, and vice versa. I keep those two lives completely separated for a variety of reasons. I do not want anyone who knows and sees me as Melissa to see or know me as anyone but her (i.e., as a guy). It is by choice and not because of expectations. I can "opt out", but I choose not to. If I'm shopping for girl stuff, I will always do it en femme. There is only two people in the River City Gems who have ever seen me both ways, and they are a couple. It is out of necessity since she does my facial electrolysis, and it is not practical or convenient for me to show up en femme since I never go out without my makeup. It does feel odd for me to show up in drab, but I have grown accustomed to it.

[sometimes_miss]

I don't have any problem with the feeling that 'it's too much work', because I can feel just as comfortable in casual girl clothes as when I get to dress up in one of my cheerleader, maid, or nice dress outfits. I guess if I wore make up it might be a problem, but then again, I used to watch my girlfriends do their make up in a matter of minutes, so if I got that good at it, it wouldn't be a problem either. The closest I come is when I come home so tired, that I don't want to do my nails because they won't dry before I collapse into sleep.