Nervous about first planned outings with my wife

[Amanda22]

I've got the best wife I can imagine. As we were celebrating New Year's Eve last weekend, she stated that we really need to celebrate "Amanda's New Year" and move things along by getting out together as girlfriends on a regular basis. Yesterday, she reminded me that we need to do this over the weekend on two outings, one tonight and one tomorrow night. She said she wants to see my confidence develop much more than it is now.

First, I can't express how happy I am with this situation!! To be told this is what we're doing is something I've ever only dreamed of! I'm so very fortunate to have a life partner like her. Second, I'm filled with half excitement and half nervousness. My anxiety is over embarrassing her. I told her this and she says I look really good dressed and she can handle herself. She can certainly handle herself, of course, but can I handle myself??

I've done several small public outings alone and with her that had minimal public exposure, such as drive-throughs, fueling the car, etc., but the fact we're planning two evenings out with lots more public exposure is definitely going to the next level.

I want this so badly; it's perhaps just nerves because it's a new thing. I'm really scared to speak to a waiter/waitress because I've never tried to modify my voice and it's too late now. I'm wondering if I should just use my normal voice and let the staff deal with it or pretend I have laryngitis. Plus I'm 6 foot-three and will stand out in a movie theater lobby. Those are our two outings, dinner one night and a movie the other.

Thanks for reading my rambling. I'll post again how things go tonight.

[insearchofme]

Good for you! What an awesome wife you have!

[Kelly DeWinter]

Just remember to start with the outside utensiles first, you will do fine :)

[Holly]

Amanda, you will be fine. Your wife sounds like an angel... trust her. The very best thing you can do for your own comfort and the comfort of those you will be around, is to be confident. Walk with your shoulders back, your head held high, and a SMILE on your face. You're out with your best girlfriend to have a good time, right? The outings you are describing are pretty low impact, in actuality. The wait staff will be kind to you because they know that their tip is dependent upon you being satisfied with the service. That being said, don't be afraid to be a bit generous with them if they make you feel comfortable and welcomed. It leaves a positive impression of the community as a whole and that word does get spread within the service industry (my daughter is a server). And the movie, once you are inside and seated, you are just another member of the audience, there to enjoy the show. What are you going to see? What I have found out is that my money is cheerfully accepted whether I'm wearing lipstick or not.

As to your voice, don't get too concerned. Try speaking in the upper range of your normal speaking voice for now. You can work on a more female sounding voice later if you choose to do so. I don't think my own voice sounds all that femme but have been mistaken for my wife on the phone when friends have called. 99.9% of the people you meet are either going to be too involved with their own lives to be concerned about you, at least tolerant of your presentation, or accepting of your presentation. The other 0.1% are bigoted, narrow minded persons who briefly find relief from their own miserable lives by trying to put down someone else's lifestyle. Don't be concerned with them unless they present a physical threat, which brings me to my last point. Be aware of your surroundings but don't be afraid. Take the same advice you would give your wife or any other woman you love... be careful and don't put yourself in dangerous situations. Don't go anyplace you wouldn't let your wife go unaccompanied. Have a great time, Amanda. If you act like a lady, you will be treated as one.

[SherriePall]

You'll do just fine. Just relax and enjoy yourself both times with that wonderful wife of yours.

[Gaby2]

I'm very happy for you Amanda and I'm sure you're enjoying yourself. Wishing you and your wife all the very best, Gaby

[Michelle James]

Amanda put on your big girl panties and get out there! You will look back at this in a month or two and wish you had done it sooner. Your wife sounds a lot like mine. We are now out on girl time together at least twice a week. Movies every weekend, theater, shopping, art museums, did I say shopping. The more you get out the more confidence you will develop. It is wonderful to have a loving partner to share this with. CHERISH HER! Please let us know how it goes. Savor the excitement of the first "date" don't fear it.

[t-girlxsophie]

Thats really nice Amanda,my confidence went throught he roof when I went out with my wife,was so proud walking hand in hand down the street together,I hope you Have the best time.

:hugs:Sophie

[JenniferR771]

You will do fine, Amanda. A big smile and a warm attitude will carry the day. Not sure I would hold hands. Give you darling wife a hug at home. And...plan ahead for the inevitable pit stop. You probably want to avoid the most crowded times--like intermission--or right after the show.

[juno]

Don't worry too much about passing, or the stress will take away from the enjoyment. If you don't pass as female, just take pride that you might be the inspiration to a closet CD that sees you enjoying life.

Speaking of movie theaters, there is a male ticket-taker at one theater near here that wears female makeup.

[Nicole Erin]

Your wife is probably the main person a TG needs approval of (aside self-approval), so if she has your back, there is no one else to worry about.
She has your back, you will do great. :)

[NathalieX66]

Hi Amanda,
Have no fear in using your normal voice. ...works for me when ordering a steak in a restaurant whlie I'm Nathalie. :)

Having an an acceptable wife is a wonderful thing.

For me, I first went out alone last year. The first place I went was a hotel near an army base. I was in a hotel lobby and restaurant where guys were coming in in army fatigues, and there I was in a mini skirt and boots. No one seemed to care, let alone look at me. That broke down my fear barrier immensely, and since then I have buit the courage to show up in the most crowded and public places while dressed up.

best luck to you and your wife!

[Amanda22]

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and priceless advice. You are all so sweet. This community is the best. My wife just got home and we are planning on seeing a movie in a few hours. She's really excited, and of course I am, too! I'll post details tomorrow morning. Thanks to all again...

[Eryn]

I'm really scared to speak to a waiter/waitress because I've never tried to modify my voice and it's too late now.

I think that service people like waiters are the least worrisome. They make their living by serving others, and they aren't going to risk that living by making a scene. They've seen it all! Just be sure to be a nice customer and leave a good tip. They'll be happy to see you the next time regardless of your gender presentation! In a restaurant, I'd be more worried about the other customers, particularly in a bathroom situation.

In a theatre, select an end seat. That way there is no issue with a stranger next to you. At your height you probably prefer end seats anyway! :)

[Amanda22]

Wow, what an evening my wife and I have had! The movie, "Black Swan", was really great. But parking, walking to the theater, hanging out in the lobby to buy tickets, then passing back through the crowded lobby afterwards was so natural. There were very many young women and teenage girls present; in fact, it seemed like "girlfriend night" at the theater. Many of them were checking me out, but I received not one bit of negative reaction!! I was truly perceived as a normal, if rather tall, girl. Honestly, I was regarded as another woman. On several occasions, I'd make eye contact with another woman and there were none of the male/female overtones. It was strictly girl-to-girl and natural. My beautiful wife advised me to carry my head high, shoulders back, and smile a lot. That's the same advice I received from you lovely sisters and let me tell you, it works!.

I am so very happy.

[Eryn]

Good for you! Glad you had a great time! Give your wife a hug too, she's a gem!

[Yolanda_Voils]

You can work on your voice, get a "flash memory" voice recorder, [tape units alter the pitch & tone] and practice.

Pretend you're broken down,or getting some auto service etc etc..

I've spoken in a pretend womans voice which was captured without my knowledge, my g/f said it took her quite a while to figure out who that "woman" was talking.

6'3" you worry too much, I'm an old "Bar Fly" and cannot recollect all the 6'+ women I've seen in my days.
My youngest niece was 6' at 12 , and looked so very much like Kelly Bundy from Married with Children[one of my favs]

My early days dressing were a nightmare, why ? Cause I let my g/f put on my make-up and fixed my wig.

When I started paying more attention to subtle makeup changes, beard concealer, and working on my wig sweeping the hair across my forehead instead of bangs, and other changes to the wig stash.

2 items you cannot get cheap, well if your skin is like mine,, Good Stick Concealer and Foundation.
Those items cost more than any other one item in my closet..
But, you must let an expert match your color. Have you noticed some girls foundation color changes at the bottom of their face where it meets the neck, and they can't see it in the mirror ?

One of those 3-Mirrors with lights really helps with those little details..

Hugs
Yolanda

[Princess29]

As far as being over 6 feet tall, on one occasion at work, I saw a woman come through who was well over 7 feet tall and there is no doubt she was a GG.
Congratulations on your night out

[linda allen]

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and priceless advice. You are all so sweet. This community is the best. My wife just got home and we are planning on seeing a movie in a few hours. She's really excited, and of course I am, too! I'll post details tomorrow morning. Thanks to all again...

I wish I was in your shoes. And bra. And panties. :heehee:

What I really mean is, I wish I could do that with my wife.

[susie evans]

enjoy your wife for the best friend you really have, my wife and i go out quite often (one of the reasons i don't get on the forum as much any moore )ther are many things you can enjoy together

have fun susie

[Fab Karen]

Just nerves. And as long as you don't sound like Darth Vader, normal voice. We tall people stand out a bit, regardless of presentation. Some people will look. & Those that stare are obviously in love:)
So get out there, take it like a man:heehee:

[ChristiesGurl]

My gurl is 5-11, 6-3 or 6-4 in heels. I actually love looking up to her and my nose is about level with her 'assets'. ;-)

[insearchofme]

Good for you and your great wife. So, how was the movie?

[Mackenzie]

Your wife sounds like mine!!! What a sweet thing to have wives that love us, understand us, and want to be with us. My wife and I have not been out together yet, but she told me this past week that she wants to go out and get some good pics of me. She suggested the really nice lobby of a local major hotel. But I reminded her that we are many people in the area that know us. If they saw her, they'd figure me out in a heartbeat.

I'm so glad you had a wonderful time at the movies. I'm 6'-1". I am stood next to GG's that are taller than me. I think we need to get past the height/weight/looks thing. There are GG's out there with all kinds of bodies, looks, heights, etc.

Mackenzie

[NicoleScott]

I've never been told that I have a female voice in person, but I've been called "ma'am" many times over the phone. I think there's a wide range of voices that can easily pass for male or female. I know guys with high-pitched voices and gals with low ones, and I don't think there's anything strange about them.. You can use the upper range of your natural voice, just don't over-do it. You'll be fine, especially if you just act natural. What a great wife. Mine knows and accepts, even encourages, but going out with me is out of the question.

[Amanda22]

Good for you and your great wife. So, how was the movie?

Dana, "Black Swan" was excellent! It is directed by Aranofsky who directed "The Wrestler". I didn't see Wrester, but I recommend Black Swan. It has themes of an overbearing mother, the strive for perfection, and the tragedy of mental illness. The camera work was great as well.

Last night, my wife and I drove to one of our favorite restaurants in a nearby community for dinner. It was 20 degrees (cold for the southern USA) so we chose jeans instead of skirts. My beautiful wife wore a really pretty sweater top and boots, and I wore I silk blouse and heels. My makeup happened to be my best effort yet. Apparently, practice is really important.

Walking to the restaurant's front door, I kept silently repeating "shoulders back, head high, and smile." This was soooo important. We were addressed by the hostess as "ladies" and seated in a booth. Our waitress also addressed us as "ladies" and I was in heaven!! My wife and I both loved that. To be dining en femme with your lovely partner surrounded by lots of other people is a true gift. I didn't try to extend conversations with our waitress, but I didn't sit silently either. I just softened my natural voice a little bit and looked our servers and hostesses in the eye when I spoke. It was very apparent that my confidence had a direct influence on how others responded to me.

My wife told me last night that during our two evening outings this weekend, the only thing people saw was two girls having fun. She said both girls were really pretty and one happened to be taller than the other. She said that is absolutely all there is to it, and to never forget that.

My wife is the greatest thing to ever happen to me.

[Eryn]

My wife told me last night that during our two evening outings this weekend, the only thing people saw was two girls having fun. She said both girls were really pretty and one happened to be taller than the other. She said that is absolutely all there is to it, and to never forget that.

My wife is the greatest thing to ever happen to me.

Just for fun, I've been using a more "critical" eye on the women I see in public lately and when it comes down to it I'd say that about a quarter of them have one or more clearly masculine characteristics. Height, facial structure, voice, walk, etc. Nobody questions their gender and the reason is simply because they are confident. You, guided by your wonderful wife, have made this breakthrough. Congratulations!

[zoe m]

Congrats! Sounds like you had a great night. I hadn't thought of the movies as a place to go with an SO or friend, that's a good idea.

[annabellejorden]

I have to say, I am envious.

I would love to have an SO that I could spend a girls night out with.

I just don't know many people where I live. ( moved here for work, and to closer to my kid. )

Congrats.

[Being Paige]

Wow, thats sounded like so much fun! You are so lucky to have a wife that wants to be involved with you!

[insearchofme]

Wow Amanda you and your wife seem to be having a great time together as two girls! You both are very lucky! I will go see that movie with my wife.

We rented the Wrestler and while it is a very good movie it was very depressing. At one time in my youth I was very close to becoming a professional wrestler. Since I was a "newly wed" and even though the money was good I wanted to spend more time with my wife and get into my eventual profession so I didn't pursue that line of work. After seeing the movie I glad I didn't.

Hugs,

[Amanda22]

We rented the Wrestler and while it is a very good movie it was very depressing.

Yes, Dana, I'm very, very lucky. Black Swan is definitely a tragic story, so it isn't uplifting. I find psychology fascinating, and this movie leans heavily on that theme.

[Deanna B]

hi amanda you must be on cloud nine .to have a wife you love and she love you so much . from your picture you look beautiful . i have just real started cding with makeup
shoes . love deanna. :love:

[Gerrijerry]

It is that way for everyone the first time out. With support from for wife I am sure everything will be wonderful. Enjoy the time and the love you two share.

[Jenniferathome]

You are living my fantasy! With your wife there to help "sell" you, no one will care or notice. My god you are a lucky man.