How Would You Handle This One?

[Persephone]

As many of you know, I seem to pass pretty well. And I can comfortably integrate myself as a woman into a group of people.

But there is an event coming up that I need your help and advice on.

I have a number of "masculine" hobbies, some of which include very few women, particularly in the ranks of the well-informed.

Not a sexist remark on my part, they just turn out to be hobbies/interests that very few women seem to get involved in, and, if they do get involved it, is more as a user-participant than an informed techy.

There is a 5-day get together coming up for one of these hobbies. It is all new people that I've never met before and my spouse and I are planning on attending. But I would definitely stick out like a sore thumb attending the techy sessions en femme and those are the very sessions I'm interested in as there are a number of deep techy questions I need answers to and this gathering is one of the very few places to get them.

Since it is so unlikely that a woman would even want to attend the techy sessions, in the description of the get together the woman who runs the women's events wrote the following (Note: Genealogy is not the guy topic):

“Howdy Ladies, I need your help for our Women's Circle. I am open to anything. We have a couple of people that will talk about Genealogy, but can always listen to more.

We can have Show and Tell Time
Grandma brag time
Beading ---show and tell or share your techniques
Quilting---show and tell or share your project
Scrapbook techniques
Dog and Cat grooming
Safety for our animals

Any craft project you are interested in and would like to share would be awesome. I don't want to turn any thing down.

I also want to start a “Favorite Recipes” Cook Book to put in or on the Web site. Bring them in. We have a scanner/copier for those that need their recipes copied, No problem!

I am always open to new ideas for crafting projects."

Now, while I do love most of her topics I'm really there for the guy's techy sessions, maybe handing with the other women between sessions.

I'd love to be there en femme, but don't want to appear to be a "freak" to the guys (who, apparently can't imagine, and have never apparently met, a woman into the technical guts of the hobby).

Even worse, I definitely don't want to be suspicious to the women who might just figure that the only reason a woman is hanging out with their guys is to seduce one of them.

Question: Do I really have no choice but to drag out the en drab clothes and go as a guy?

[Eryn]

You probably have pretty good insight into how those guys would feel about a woman taking an interest in the nuts and bolts of their hobby and you may have already experienced reactions to other women.

In most cases I think that they would be impressed by a woman showing technical knowledge as long as you present it properly.

I have a pretty good idea of the event you're talking about. Nice folks. Be sure to wear good sunscreen, even in January!

Oh, and I personally know two GGs who are on a par technically with the men in the hobby. Nobody seems to give them any notice except to say "wow" when they demonstrate their skill.

88s, Eryn :)

[Melissa Rose]

Even if the demographics are skewed towards men, I would not let it stop you from attending en femme. A woman may get noticed in the beginning, but once you show your ability and knowledge no one is really going to care. They are going to be more interested in what they can learn from your contribution then who you are. They may be one or two individuals who may make a snide comment if you get read, but I would not let that stop you. Most people are tolerant at worse and that is not a bad thing. Go in whatever mode you are most comfortable in and the one you want to be in. You have every right to be there and enjoy yourself.

[Eryn]

I thought of one other issue for you to consider. When meeting other people in the hobby socially you often exchange a piece of information that is rapidly traceable to your identity. How do you intend to handle that?

[juno]

Are you open enough to go en femme, and then just tell them you are a crossdresser if any issues come up?

[sissystephanie]

I think Juno said it pretty openly! Are ready to admit you are a crossdresser, or not? If you are ready to admit to being a CD, then dress enfemme and go that way. If someone asks, tell them you are a CD! You are really a man, so you should not be worried about having to attend wearing drab! I go most places dressed enfemme, but of course looking like a male. But I always dress like the man that I really am when going to things that involve my male friends! They know me very well, but don't know that I CD and that is fine with me! How I dress is my business, and only my business!! The same is true with you!!

[eluuzion]

hiya P,

As usual, I make decisions based on choosing the option with the greatest potential of helping me achieve my goal. So, in your example, I would dress as a guy and save "making waves" for another day, another beach.

Just me...

Have Fun,

:love:

[Chloe Renee]

I've been to a couple tech conventions and while women are the minority there are quite a few as attendees as well as presenters. I know many women that can out program many of my male friends. I have also meet a couple TG folk at these events, one of which is top 20 top python programmers in the us. Hobbies truly know no gender, dress how you wish. You may become an inspiration to others who are in the closet.
Enjoy yourself

[Eryn]

Having given it more thought I tend to agree with Eluuzion. The demographics of the hobby means that CDing isn't as likely to be accepted as at other tech gathering. Just be happy that you can participate in 95% of the hobby dressed any way you please!

[Jinx]

Wow.

I gave up that hobbie due to the "enviroment" that you speak of. Never could make friends localy to learn about it.

I think it is really cool seeing others like me that have to think real hard about how they act around certain people. It is very tiring.

Yet again, its nice to know I'm not alone.