Do any of you have no intention of letting your family know about your girly side?

[Melissa Jill]

Ive never been that close with any of my close family (by that I mean, my parents & siblings).
So I don't really see the need for me to ever tell them, they probably would accept me, but I just can't see any reason to tell them.

Is anyone else like this?

[suzy1]

I am very close to my family. Apart from my ex wife, but we won’t go there.
But like you I see no reason at all to tell them and never will.
But for some it is very important.
We are all different I suppose.

SUZY

[thechic]

Every body already knows about me

[Karren H]

No, hadn't planned on it but my wife found out any way.... My brother knows because I outed myself to him in high school... He tried it but doesn't as far as I now. .

[Mackenzie]

My wife sees me almost daily as Mackenzie. Two of our daughters, 14 and 21, found out this summer. Our 14-year old was putting shoes away in my wife's and my closet and saw my 3 wigs. So, she told her older sister that there were wigs in the closet. They knew that their mom didn't wear wigs, so they had to be mine. They snooped a bit more and found many of my clothes, makeup, jewelry, and who knows what else. So, my 21-year old calls me on my cell phone and wants answers. She was very vague and I actually thought she was inquiring about a squabble that my wife and I were having. Later when my wife told me what the daughter meant by calling me, I told my wife that I would have been totally honest with the daughters if they would have just asked me directly.

Anyway, other than that, I don't plan on announcing to the family about my CD-ing. They wouldn't understand anyway. Even my precious wife has a hard time figuring me out, but she loves me like you wouldn't believe!!!

Mackenzie

[annabellejorden]

I have some family that lives here in Portland.
They are all on my kids mothers side.
They for the most part know.

My family on my side mostly lives in Washington.
They don't know.
Some of then never will.
They had a hard enough time with me being a successful computer programmer and having NOT gone to collage.

I may tell my dad, step mom, and sister, but haven't really decided yet.

[Missy Tanya]

Only my wife is all that knows of Tanya and is supportive. No intentions on letting anyone else know if at all possible. Well other than the 50 or so in my TG Support group. Well and the 20 plus SA's that have welcomed me. That's all, and no one else, well lets hope it stays that way.

Tanya

[MargaretJ]

My sister knows, but I don't have any plans to tell family or others about my CDing.

[AllieSF]

Single and happy CD here, though a partner would be wonderful, so I have no need to come out to my friends and family.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I would have liked to have told my Mother before she passed, she always wanted a daughter, but settled for 4 sons. I think she knew anyhow as many times as she caught me when i first began at age 5 or so, and found some of my things in my mid-teens.
My dad and brothers? while we are all non judgemental folks and they would accept it easily enough, but it would still be a burden in some sense, as the dynamic would change. Besides i want to always be a brother and son to them.

For those who are more along the TG spectrum, it is more of a necessity.
Cassie

[Kaz]

My wife knows but prefers invisibility and we don't discuss things. My youngest daughter found out a few years ago... but we have never discussed it and we have a great relationship. I only dress at home when no-one is around (apart from under-dressing maybe 60% of the time).

No other family members know and I have no intention of telling them. There is quite frankly no reason for them to know. It will not add anything positive to our relationships but could cause problems and upset. I have no desire to cause any of my family any further distress than I have already caused them.

[ninapuella]

No i will never tell and dont see any reason to tell. I dont know what i want with my crossdressing. I just do it. Its just a secret part of me nothing else, no big deal. Everyone has secret parts in life and if everyone knew everything about everyone we all would be confused as hell. :heehee:

Thats why i dont use facebook. :straightface:

[Jay Cee]

I haven't told anyone in my family yet. I was going to blurt it out when I started, but just having my ears pierced had a few of them going: "Aren't you only supposed to get one ear pierced? Isn't it only gay guys that get both ears done?" I think the next time they ask, I'm just going to say "Well, then - I guess I'm a homosexual. What of it?"

:rolleyes:

[KarenSusan]

My sister will find out after I die and she has to clean out my apartment. She will see my wardrobe. I hope she doesn't have a heart attack.

[Cari]

I figure what they dont know cant hurt them; Im sure they all suspect.
If I think that my activities will affect people in someway I try to tell them before that happens.
I am carefull with what I post and kinda use the guideline of "what if the youngest saw this" when on the net.

To date I havent had the talk with any of my immediate family.
A few friends have been told, because I knew they would see me or they needed a place to stay and used "her" room ect.
I have told friends who were just worried about me and wondered where I was the third weekend every month. (They imagine much worse)

Actually my hangup with telling people is then I cant control the info anymore.
The news will spread eventually and when you tell one person you might as well figure 2 others will find out.
I think if I ever decide to just come completely out I would host a party and just tell everyone at once.
Im guessing Id only need appetizers and drinks for about half the folks invited as the others would leave. :-)

To be honest I have let not telling people affect my actions more.
I would like to be more active politically and help others more, but that would involve being more public.

[Rachel B42]

My ex wife knows and my sister also but as far as anyone else, I don't t think they would understand. Besides, I am very happy now, no need to upset the apple cart

[kaitlin]

Most of the family on my wifes sides knows, all are supportive and a few even enjoy it. I have a couple close friends that know, but none of the family on my side have a clue! I can't think of one that wouldn't be judgemental!

[Sharon B.]

They all found out that I enjoy dressing as a woman when I got divorced some eighteen years ago as my ex-wife had called them all and told it.
Nothing has ever been said about it since then and at this time I don't see no reason to bring it up.

[Jessatheone]

Absolutely not! Other than this forum there are only a hand full of people who know about this side of me. My dad and his wife are the kind of old fashioned that doesn't like anything to do with anything that might be considered gay ect. For example they flipped on my brother(RIP) when he started dating a black woman. Plus who knows what my grandmother would say...

[jessica renee]

I have no intention of bringing the issue up with my family. Several times when I was in my teens my parents found my stash of clothes and were very unaccepting. So I see no reason to expect that their views would have changed. I may someday tell my roommates as I think they might be somewhat accepting but I'm just not sure at this point.

[eluuzion]

How does that saying go?... "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"...:heehee:

I had a very small family. Both parents were "only children" and I have one sister. (plus a few distant cousins) I have been divorced for 14 yrs now, and live alone. I was a shared parent for 16 of the 18 years of my daughter's life. She is not around much anymore, my mom and sister are thousands of miles away. That is all of the family that I have.

I can do everything I want to do, as I always have been able to do. No family or ex wives have ever known. Nothing to be gained by disclosure then, nor is there anything now.

:love:

[DebsUK]

My family all live in different parts of the country to me so there is no need to tell them. I think my mother and sister know from way back when. My wife doesn't know I'm back in a dressing mood yet, but will soon (she has known about me in the past). Of all of the family, my in-laws would be the worst as they aren't very tolerant, thought that's more an age thing I think

[valeriemonroe2002]

I told my wife a year or so before we married and I recently told a GG friend after too many drinks on Halloween. Both of them are pretty ok with it. Other than those two people, both of whom are very close to me, I have no intention of letting others know.

[laura.lapinski]

Absolutely not. It's my little secret.

[Jennyfir]

I don't plan on telling my immediate family, meaning my mom and dad, brothers and their SO's. Only one of my cousins know and thats because he is accepting and swore he wouldn't tell anyone. Most of my friends know about it though, but the only bad thing is I know my parents would freak out and probably not ever let me dress again.

[dana digs sweaters]

Different deal for me. I officially came out to my mom at 15. It really wasn't much of a secret anyways, being caught by her at 12 & a year later by my next older sis "El". I obviously wasn't "practicing" for Halloween, lol. It was SO GREAT to be honest with her about something so personal as being a boy that liked to dress up in girls clothes, hers & my 5 sisters. She told me I was a "crossdresser" & not to feel guilty about it at all. Plenty of dress up games while growing up. Some started by me. (wink) Time to time thru the years, 4 of my sisters that still live by me, come over to borrow some of my "Dana" clothes. They still love me no matter what I wear.

[leotard fan]

no! not my family until now. only some close friends knows about my girlie side, and only them saw me crossdressed... i am not so close of my family for they know the real me...! happy 2011 to all!

[gia coll]

As far as my immediate family I have never thought of coming out to them....I feel I wouldn't be understood, so as some other girls say, I see no need for it. I was caught once by an aunt.....but I take she probably didn't share it with many people....that's what she told me then.

[Karen Francis]

I came out to my wife before we were married 30+ years ago. everything was fine as long as I was "in the closet" But when I came out to my grown sons about 3 years ago, she was completely against it. Same with my sister etc. After I came out, my relationship with my wife deteriorated especially after she started outing me to persons that never needed to know in an attempt to humiliate me and "get me to stop this foolishness". Now she really regrets treating me like she did, especially since she has met several of my TG friends and has discovered they are not the devil incarnate.
But the damage to our relationship is permanent.

[StaceyJane]

My wife and three daughters know.
My brother knows I crossdressed as a teenager, I don't think my parents know.

[Pinky188]

I have never told my family. But my Facebook profile pic is me in girl mode, so everyone HAS to know right???? Funny that no one has ever said anything about it!!! I love being girly!!! Ha!

[Detroit Molly]

My wife knows, a few of my close friends know (mostly women), my shrink knows...that's about it. I'm not really interested in either my family or my in-laws finding out, even though I bet if my brothers-in-law found out there'd be a lot of hilarity 'cause they're pretty cool guys. But, yeah, there are a few people I'd like to come out to, but none of them are blood related.

[donnalee]

The thing that strikes me about this thread is the alienation almost all of these posts show. Since I have had the same problem with my family (the sister I was closest to died last year; my parents about 40 years ago), I understand this feeling very well. It has to do with a sense of betrayal, either real or feared; what I hadn't realised was how widespread this feeling was. I learned long ago that the way to avoid the complications their interference could bring was to keep them in the dark as much as possible. Now I'm down to 1 sister and still keep a great deal of my life to myself. My SO knows, and that's about it. I wish things were different, but I've learned the hard way this is best.

[Miranda09]

I'm pretty close to my family, and I really think they'd accept this part of me, BUT, I don't see any reason to let them know. Families don't have to know everything!

[PretzelGirl]

I am out to my wife, both of my daughters, and my son-in-law. I haven't come out to brother, sisters, my mother, or my son because they are not hear. I won't entertain telling anyone unless I can be sitting next to them. For one, it is just easier to talk with them and see their faces so I know what needs addressing. Secondly, I don't even believe they need to know if we aren't in the same location.

[t-girlxsophie]

Apart from my parents,and my brother who have always known,but not to what extent.I have no real desire to tell the rest of my family mainly because I am at best unsure of how It would go down,and at worse know for certain there would be strong negative reaction from some.

As far as In-Laws go,One of my sister-in-laws and my brother-in-law know and are fine with It,as long as I treat their sister well thats all they care about

:hugs:Sophie

[Emme]

I told everyone. Wife, Brothers, children, nephews, and the burden of 'the secret" is gone. No one really cared. A niece said I
look best in black. And likes to talk purses wiith me. LOl

PS: They are traditional people. No one talks about it, to me...If you don't talk about it...it aint happening. go figure!

[Rianna Humble]

My dad spotted some signs when I was still only dressing part time and asked me about it. Before I went full time, I discussed it with him - he has concerns but still supports me. The rest of my (extended) family all know and only my oldest brother seems to have a bit of difficulty coming to terms with it, but we still speak. Then again, it would be hard to hide it now that I no longer pretend to be a man.

[kymmieLorain]

Well my wife knows that I crossdress but that is about it. My two older sons may suspect but haven't said anything. As far as coming out. Nope to anyone else.

Kymmie

[Ashley Allison]

They already know and have known for a long time.

[Tammynnj]

You know, I thought about that too. No not your sister, but my kids and ex. I was thinking if I got sick I'd throw it all out before they found it, but if I have a heart attack, they will too!

"KarenSusan

My sister will find out after I die and she has to clean out my apartment. She will see my wardrobe. I hope she doesn't have a heart attack."

[stellatoo]

All my close family know now! It's a "don't ask, don't tell" situation at the moment, though my younger sis is more open than the others! I've also told a couple of close friends recently! 1 has not spoken to me since, the other has ignored it. It's ok though friends don't have to agree with everything.

[TracyBoy]

My Family is on the other side of the continent, and we don't communicate much. They'll never find out. My wife(as far as I know) doesn't know about my crossdressing habits. Right now I don't plan on telling her. I think that will hurt her, so for now I struggle with it. If she ever finds out I really don't know what I'll say. I rehearse in my mind what to say, but the reality is- I just don't know how to explain it.

[Xandria]

my mom knows, most ex g/fs know (le sigh), the SO def knows and she told her mom and sisters, they are all accepting of it.. they just make a note not to tell any of the men in the family as that could cause some issues. but its really nice to know that my future "mother in law" knows and is cool with it. also the SOs oldest sister wants to help me with my wigs and make up :) she's a beautician so i really lucked out there

[Sophie_C]

Yes, no intent to ever show it to them. This is a battle I care not to take.

[lauraabdl]

My daughters know and my ex does thats why she left, no my family doesn't know and I'm not telling. But as for my ex who knows who shes told, pretty bitter about it says she can't compete with Laura, I never asked her to, So was accepting somewhat for 16 years then just went ballastic one day and finnaly left.

[Noel Chimes]

With me it is pretty much the same situtation. My wife has known for years and since moving I came out to my cousin. Most recently I came out to my youngest daughter. All thought she understands (somewhat) she doesn't want to see me dressed, and now that my other daughter has moved in everything is back in the closet. It's a shame that the world's perception of us is so messed up. We are not bad people, but people want to do bad things to us all in the name of ignorance. So as far as me telling other members of my family? Not in this lifetime. Everyone has their own secrets.

[renee k]

Single and happy CD here, though a partner would be wonderful, so I have no need to come out to my friends and family.


Ditto, my daughter knows, but it's a don't ask don't tell arrangement.

Renee

[BRANDYJ]

I made the mistake of telling one brother in an email over 2 years ago. It was a foolish decision at one of the lowest points in my life. Sadly he is one of those brainwashed so called born again Christians. one that puts his twisted religious beliefs before family. I have not seen or talked to him since and he lives less then 10 miles away. His loss, not mine. But I suspect he told our older brother too since I have not heard from him either.

[sherri]

I can think of some good reasons to come out to friends and family, nearly all of which are self-serving, but the reasons not to tell outweigh them by a mile. Zero plans to come out that way, and I don't see that ever changing. No huge deal though, life is chock full of trade-offs.

[curiouslooker]

My wife introduced me to it years ago. She knew or suspected I had continued. In fact, she once put a short summer dress on me and we made love. I had told her a couple of times that I would like to be fully dressed one time but it never happened.

Since she passed away no one knows.

I will never tell anyone that I can think of. I am able to keep my "clothes" because I refuse to get rid of hers. We were the same size so it gets me by.

The thing I really wish I could do is decorate my room more like a regular woman would. But, that would bring up to many flags.

[TGMarla]

Yes.

I don't plan on letting any of my family members know about this. My family on my wife's side has caught an inkling of it, but they have the propriety to not say anything to me about it. My immediate relatives know nothing, and that's fine by me.

[BiancaEstrella]

I don't plan to sit and talk with anyone else about it at this point. I'd say roughly 30 people know just how far down the rabbit hole my crossdressing goes. I'm okay with that.

[Karen kc]

Wife knows and loves it! I would never tell my kids,they"re to conservative,good nuf is good nuf

[KrystalA]

I have reasons NOT to come out to my family. I'm very close to all of them, but I know without doubt that they'd never accept my CDing. So, rather than losing the closeness I have with them, I'll just keep it to myself.

[MsMichelle]

Our support group (Gender Metaphor) uses this philosophy about who to tell.

"Tell nobody that doesn't need to know, unless you have something to gain and it is neither a selfish nor narcistic rationale"

[suchacutie]

Tina is a private sharing between me and my wife. Diluting that sharing would be a joint decision, first of all, and, frankly, the intensity of the personal sharing of this issue would somehow be lessened if more people knew. The privacy of this very delicate part of me is very intense and positive in our relationship.

tina

[nikki47]

Only my wife knows she is accepting,but i think she would rather i wasn't a crossdresser but she does love me and as she says this is only a small part of my life.I curtailed my dressing when my son's were growing up,even questioning myself as to why i did it.Now they are grown up i am happy with who i am,and i have now built up a nice wardrobe of clothes,makeup and jewellery.
So for me the only person i want to know is my wife,i would be horrified if my son's found out.

Nikki

[Marie-Elise]

Only my wife knows I like to dress in female clothes. The rest of my family will probably never know. I don't see how it would add anything to our lives or relationships. The downside pretty much outweighs any upside.

[MaryFran G]

I don't plan on telling anyone in my family. My wife knows and that is probably it. It is difficult as it is with just her knowing. It would only complicate things.