Where do you fit in?

[QZ2]

I realize that for everyone of us there is a unique reason why we are CDs, but it seems to me that there really are just two kinds of crossdressers. Those of us that want to BE a woman and those of us that want to PLAY woman.

I also realize that although we might identify ourselves as one or the other that there might be some that move across the line (and maybe back) at times.

So, are you a man wanting to be a woman, that God gave you the wrong body to begin with, that you would be whole if you could transtition?

Or are you, like me, getting whatever satisfaction just from the dressing, acting, playing a woman, but quite happy being a guy the rest of the time?

Where do you fit in?

Susie

[StaceyJane]

Well, I guess I would be a man wanting to be a woman.

[kaitlin]

I would say that I am a little of both, maybe 75% wanting to act and play and 25% wanting to be a real woman!!!

[msniki48]

Suzie,

I really can't say that i am quite happy being a guy. i seem to be stuck here, due to my age, life, family and work, so i try to make due with playing a woman every chance i get. I also try my best to enjoy the guy things i do, otherwise i think i would go crazy altogether...[ other peoples opinion not withstanding:heehee:] I can't help but wonder though, if i had known what being TG was in my teens but living in this day and age of some acceptance, how my life would have been or could hae been different.:daydreaming: Even if i could go 24/7 with no consequences i don't know that i could do SRS at this stage in my life. i would probably live as a transgenderist.:battingeyelashes:

hugs

msniki

[Cheryl T]

Sorry to disagree, but I think the question is over-simplified. It's a sliding scale and there is no one or the other, but a gradation of feelings and needs.
I always felt I was a CD, but the older I get and the more I share my feminine side with the world the more I feel there is a greater, deeper feeling. I don't PLAY woman, and I don't want to BE A WOMAN, I feel that I am more woman then I thought and I have no idea where this is leading me.

[renee k]

I wish life were as black and white as it's been described. I'm in a gray area if you will. Being I love everything I do as a man or as a woman. But I do lean towards liking life better as woman. I guess that's why I'm conflicted and trying to work it all out, with the help of a caring therapist.

Huggs, Renee

[Cassandra Lynn]

Never have been able to look at this thing in such black and white terms, life seems to have a way of making it more gray.
Kind of the human condition i suppose, that want and need to put it in order. I've always said that this thing is in a state of progression.
But yeah, i'm a man first, at least right now, but this journey is not over. If i could get the rebuilding phase of my life done, move into my own place and afford to live the way i wish, then things could change quite a bit. The line of demarcation would shift, but it will always be a balance of some sort. I was born in the right body, but it is shared with another person.
"Play" is not the word i would use to describe my time with Cassie, but you prolly didn't mean it in that sense.

Cassie

[Babette]

Susie, I never really thought about where I fit in with regards to your definitions. At this point in my life, I am truly content to just be me - a person that prefers to minimize boundaries.

Babette

[Jonianne]

I also disagree that it's either/or, black or white. For me, I am a male that desires to identify "with" females, but not "as" a female. It's an inner yearning or desire, so it's not like a game to me. I just enjoy expressing the part of me that happens to like some of the same things females like, but still remain being me.

[KrystalA]

I'm like you, Susie. I'm happy enough being a man, but I get such an incredible amount of joy and pleasure out of dressing like a girl, I would never want to compromise that feeling. I have at times, of course, wondered what it would feel like to have different equipment between my legs, but we probably all wonder that from time to time.

[Rogina B]

I am a realist in that I relly enjoy playing the part of a woman but I know that I wasn't born with woman's NATURAL traits.We can't mimic them.I know that "the power of the pussycat" for me is merely going first in line or getting a door held for me,etc.I will never be a trophy wife of someone that is jumping through hoops to please her! But,I can enjoy playing the part and enjoying ALL THE GOOD that comes with it. lol

[thechic]

Well I'm a woman, sole mind and personality ,that happened to born into the wrong,disgusting body

[suzy1]

I don’t think it’s as simple as that. I want to be a women and I want to be a man!
That’s why, when I am Suzy I am not playing at it. I feel it’s me.
Then when I can’t dress as Suzy I carry on as a man but enjoy my male life as well.
No wonder I smile a lot.

SUZY

[juno]

I don't think the categorization of crossdressers as TS or not TS is necessarily wrong, but it is just one aspect. We could also group by those why enjoy this part of their life, and those who find it a burden.

I don't want to become a woman, but I also don't really embrace being a male. I like where I am.

[sherri]

Ditto what CherylT said. It can be risky trying to pigeon-hole others based on one's own personal outlook.

[arbon]

I am very comfortable transitioning to female. Being a man was never right, it was always a conflict, difficult, it was an ordeal to make myself be a man. I may still need to be a man in part of my life, for a bit longer, and that is hard, I don't like it.

I started transition 6-7 months ago it feels like the best thing I have ever have done in my life. It feels so right for me.

I don't always like that sayings like "God gave you the wrong body" or describing it as though I am trapped in the wrong body. i guess I feel that I am who I am for whatever reason ~ God, nature, random chance of the universe. So I don't feel like my body was a curse of god, or a mistake or wrong, it just is the way it is, the way it is supposed to be. This is my journey, my life at this point in time and I need to make the best of it that I can with what is available to me. And thank God that in this day and age there is HRT and surgery, and people acceptance of trans people and crossdressers and gays and lesbians is on the rise.

So I feel blessed that I am where I am at the time I am.

I am not going to go through life feeling like I was a mistake.

That is where I fit in :)

[Joanne f]

I just don`t know , so you ask why (well maybe you do ) :heehee: the problem is i sort of know what it is like to be a man as i have a mans body so this off sets the thought process a bit as you do not need to know what you already are , i would love to know what it is like to be a woman but is this only because i am not one :doh: or do i really want to be one , i hate being logical , sorry Spock but it is confusing :D

[Kate Simmons]

Not that concerned with "fitting in" per se. I'm more concerned with being my own genuine person.:)

[Gennifer]

I agree that this is a more complicated question than it may appear initially. There have been times when I feel definitely that I was in born in the wrong body and that I would do anything I could to change that. Then, there have been other times when I feel as though even if I was born in the wrong body, I can live happily in the one I have. Throughout all of these phases, I guess I have come to understand that there is no perfect place, no end point that make everything all right. It's all process.

[Kjara_Ra]

I fall into the "Play Woman" category. At the end of the day I am happy and comfortable with being a man, I just like to dress and play every once and a while.

[ErickaJ]

I personally feel I fit in the role of me. I'm a woman in heart and soul, man in body. I work with both and make the best of what was given to me to start. I dress and live as a woman full time, at home, when shopping, at work. I long to one day be fully a woman (body to match mind). It's all about where you feel is right for you. Just be happy, the fact you know this part of your life and style, and you get to embrace it to any degree, its rewarding in itself :)

[GirlyBits]

I am jealous and envious of all real women >.< I wish I could be a woman!

[Raychel]

I am a man, who likes being a man, who like dressing in womens clothes.

[Kelly DeWinter]

This is probably the 100th thread wanting to put thing in black and white, and then answers ist still, yes,no,mayby,sometines, depending on how i feel , what time of day it is, if it's a leap year, sale at Macys , on and on and on.

[NicoleScott]

I agree that there are cd's everywhere between the pure born-in-the-wrong-body identity dresser and the pure don't-want-to-be-a-woman pleasure dresser. I am just a regular guy who enjoys all the guy stuff but occasionally likes to dress for pleasure. I'm near one of the ends of the spectrum.

[GingerLeigh]

If there was a magic pill that temporarily made me a woman for say 24 hours, that would be ideal. However, no such pill exists so I must "play woman" since I have no desire to be a woman indefinitely/transition. I like being a man and enjoy the company of woman (one in particular).

Ginger

[Jane G]

I think we are who we are and we are all a bit different. Like many I've dressed since I was a young child, so it has always felt completely natural for me to see myself as female, all though others do not. I don't have any issues with my body being male, more mift about getting old and losing my looks. I thought about transition for years and took hormones for a while. But I'm pretty happy where I'm at in life and my wife, who I've know since school, though still not a great fan of Jane in appearance, is completely accepting that I am far more feminine than most men.

[Laura-uk]

There's not much man-like aboute at all and I can get on better with women so I actually think my chromosomes are faulty, so I'm at the far female-wanna be end of the scale , I guess it's an infinite one like with most things though to be fair

[DeeInGeorgia]

I don't fit in, never have, never will. I have a male gender identity but very high female gender expression. I am actially working on getting my mind to match my gender expression.

Deanna

[ninapuella]

I have been thinking about this very much. And i more and more classify it as a third gender, a mix between male and female. I dont think i am playing woman it feels deeper than that, but i sure dont want a full transition. I really love that i can shift from male to female. Its really a gift i think and i am very thankful for it.

[annabellejorden]

I have to agree with what mot of you are saying here, I am not either side, yet both.

I am a guy, I like being a guy.
I like guy things, like lizards ( I own one ), swords ( own one of them to ), dinosaurs ( wish I owned one ), explosions, Trains, etc.
I like being with women, when I am lucky enough to have an SO.

But, on the flip side of that, I like wearing feminine clothes, in fact, I have worn feminine undergarments full time for the past 8 months, and before that I was most of the time.
I also am developing feminine secondary characteristics, breasts to be exact.
I have gotten to the point where I must wear a bra during the day.

I am a cross dresser, and in some was trans-gender, but I wont have SRS, it's just not right for me.

I wish there was a title for me, so I could just send my family a wikipedia link and be done with it.

I to wish there was a pill that would turn me full girl for a day.

[AliciaCheerCd]

(this is something that I posted on another forum and thought it might be appropriate to come cross post onto the this forum.)

I'm quite a follower of Hope Alexander, and perhaps this is a good place to link to her:

http://hubpages.com/hub/Lingerie-Secrets-Revealed-The-Three-Types-of-Men-Who-Wear-Lingerie

The article above talks about the three kinds of lingerie wears. I will copy and paste it here:



The Strictly Panties Man

The strictly panties man just wears one kind of lingerie. Some men only like the feeling of hosiery, for instance, and never wear any other kind of lingerie or womens clothing. Other men might feel the same way about panties, or bras. This type of lingerie wearer is almost always exclusively heterosexual and might even be offended at the thought of being branded 'feminine'.

The Lingerie Aficionado

The lingerie aficionado loves all kinds of lingerie, but does not necessarily identify as being feminine whilst wearing it. For the lingerie aficionado, wearing lingerie is simply a means to visual and tactile pleasure, it is not a means to get in touch with a softer, feminine side. Lingerie aficionados own plenty of lacy, silky, and satiny lingerie. They will often have large collections of lingerie that exceeds those owned by the average woman.

The Feminist

I used feminist not in its traditionally accepted form, but as a kind of short hand for men who like to feminize themselves. On the internet at least, this seems to form a large part of the male panty wearing population. Men who enjoy feeling feminine will wear women's undergarments, often have an alternate female name and/or persona, and quite often wear other types of women's clothing including shoes, skirts and dresses. Men who wear lingerie for the feeling of being feminine may also enjoy being submissive to a partner.

If you're not familiar with this phenomenon you might be surprised to find out that a great deal of these men identify as being straight and are often happily married family men. Not all are straight however, many of these men are bisexual, and sometimes they are gay.


I find that these three scenarios are like 95% accurate for all the fellow cd's I have ever met. :-)

For myself I am the Feminist. I like to take on a little bit of a different persona when I dress. Alicia is a little more flirty, perky, mischievous, with a touch of ****tyness. hehe She likes to be CUTE but with a little flare of naughtiness. I've been known to let peaks up my skirt. LOL in my head I even have what I "look" like. It's a way for me to fantasize and act out. However I don't believe there is a black or white. The desire to be one, and the desire to not be one often change ratio in my life depending on how I feel. I find that who I am is just as much about the balance of that question as much as the answer to it.

[Roberta Marie]

It can be very difficult to give up that "binary" concept. When we learn about anything, it's easy to start off looking at it in binary terms. It makes it easier to understand. Things are black or white, hard or soft., light or heavy, positive or negative, male or female, masculine or feminine. But, as we delve into a subject even only slightly deeper, we need to start thinking in other than binary terms. If you think about it, there is almost nothing in the world that exists in the binary. There are an infinite shades of grey between black and white, an infinite number of textures between hard and soft, an infinite number of potentials between positive and negative, etc., etc. Why should it be any different with gender? Why do we insist on trying to fit gender into binary terms?

I suspect that most people are somewhere between masculine and feminine, although a majority of people are very close to one or the other. But, a few of us, a very lucky few of us, are somewhere in the middle, gravitating to either pole only when pushed or pulled by outside forces.

Grace,
Bobbi

[Lilaka Ananda]

I fall into the "Play Woman" category. At the end of the day I am happy and comfortable with being a man, I just like to dress and play every once and a while.

Ditto for myself, except to say that the female aspects of my personality are always active in my life.

[Derp]

If there was a magic pill that temporarily made me a woman for say 24 hours, that would be ideal. However, no such pill exists so I must "play woman" since I have no desire to be a woman indefinitely/transition. I like being a man and enjoy the company of woman (one in particular).

Ginger

Same here, that would be so wonderful if it were to exist.

But yeah, playing woman is the next best thing while still being a man

[Karen kc]

I"m a man, I enjoy being a man, and love wearing everything feminine. If I fit in, great, if not, oh well.

[Pythos]

Personally, I just want to wear what I like, look how I want, and not fear losing friends or my job. If one day I want to wear jeans, then I put them on and head out. If on another day for a date I wish to wear my cheonsam, then I put that on.

In the long run, it should not matter.

I am male, I identify as male, even when in full fem...though I will be cool if someone says "her, or she". It does not ruffle my feathers. Though I would not mind a gender neutral identifier. If there were a third gender, then I would definitely prefer that. I don't fully "act" masculine, nor do I "fully" act feminine. Whether dressed or not I am still a perky goth, with a goofy sense of humor...when permitted. Otherwise I am just as miserable as everyone else.

In short, I want as wide a range in clothing and look styles for men, as women have for the most part.

[annabellejorden]

Personally, I just want to wear what I like, look how I want, and not fear losing friends or my job. If one day I want to wear jeans, then I put them on and head out. If on another day for a date I wish to wear my cheonsam, then I put that on.

In the long run, it should not matter.

I am male, I identify as male, even when in full fem...though I will be cool if someone says "her, or she". It does not ruffle my feathers. Though I would not mind a gender neutral identifier. If there were a third gender, then I would definitely prefer that. I don't fully "act" masculine, nor do I "fully" act feminine. Whether dressed or not I am still a perky goth, with a goofy sense of humor...when permitted. Otherwise I am just as miserable as everyone else.

In short, I want as wide a range in clothing and look styles for men, as women have for the most part.

Well said.

Part of why I was looking for a support site, which lead me here, is because I am not sure what I am.

I am a guy, I like guy things, but on the flip side, I like girl things to.

As a computer person, I usualy deal with things in binary.
It's eather true or false.
Your a guy or a girl.

But, that doesn't take into account who I am.
I am not a guy, but I am not a girl.
What am I, a gurl? a guy++?

I say all that to say this:

Where di I fit in? YES!

[Kaz]

The minute anyone establishes a random categorisation it is doomed I am afraid.. c'est la vie...! :hugs:

For me the story is simple one... when I was a teenager I was convinced I was in the wrong body, but just got on with it. My prayers were never answered, I always woke up as me. Now in my 50s, I have lived a life as a male and I cannot deny that a lot of it has been very good indeed!

Having accepted Kaz as a virtual manifestation of my femme side... I agree with Suzy and the others... when I want to be Kaz I want to be as femme as I can... but I like my male life a lot. I don't want to lose either.

[MaryFran G]

I agree with you Kaz. When I am dressing up I want to be Tammy and feel and act like a woman but when playing golf and hanging with my male friends I tend to put my femme life away.

[Kaz]

Thanks Tammy,

The thing is... I rather like being me! This may not be a fashionable thing to say... and okay, I have enough s**t in my life to cause me to think otherwise, but a lot of what I really value would disappear and lives would be the worse were I to stop being me and become Kaz full-time.

I quite simply cannot do that to people nor myself.

Now then, the bigger question is... were I 30 something years younger, still unmarried and the mindset I was then...would things be any different?

I suspect they might?

[Rachel05]

I am absolutely certain that I am a man that adores plying a woman but don't want to be one, there is nothing wrong with either in my book and I feel lucky that I am so at ease with where I fit and who I want to be

[Charlena]

I believe there is a third gender and maybe a fourth or fifth, and that is what I feel I am finally after many years. Society and culture over a period of hundreds of years have defined the sexes into two categories. How can you possibly group millions of individuals into two groups. We are all different, but yet we are all related.

[MichelleP]

It is a continuum and while many may identify more strongly on one side or the other there is a gradation in between too. To answer your question though, I'm on the "Be a woman" side. No disrespect intended to any others but I guess I rarely think of myself "playing" at being female.

[Veronica Lacey]

For the most part I do not try to emulate a woman - no make up, wigs, femme walk or talk. If tomorrow dawned and men could roam the planet in a satin blouse, skirt and heels without mockery nor descrimination then I would do it on a regular basis as I felt the desire.

In general I am simply who I am: a hetero man with occasional steroetypical female traits who likes the feeling of traditionally female attire upon his body on a regular basis. I was born in the "correct" body and want to adorn it as I wish.

[Virgin1A]

Since I muddled through adolescence, I have always been comfortable with my masculinity (I've never been, or ever tried to be, the chest-beating macho type - what have they got to hide, anyway?). My fantasy is to have the looks to pass as a beautiful woman, but all the equipment and psychology of a male. Well one outa two ain't bad.

[herwannabe]

Where do I fit in? I fit in right here at this forum, I can say what I feel, how I feel, and when I feel and where I feel and most here understand because they feel the same as I do.

and answer your question >> I think I am both I have always wished I had been born a woman but I have also enjoyed being a man. as a crossdresser or TG or TS or what initials you want to use I do not have the femme body features to be a woman, although I envy the ones who do. so I will just be satisfied with crossdressing in the privacy of my domain

Michelle

[Charleen]

Wrong body here. Known most of my life.

[Marcyme]

Neither, both, all of the above, none of the above.... I check all the boxes.

[AnnaCalliope]

Frankly, I can't wait to transition to female. I've been hiding behind the mask of masculinity for over 2 decades now, so much its almost become normal for me and I'm glad I'm finally living in a place where I can really come out from behind that and be myself. I've never really enjoyed guy time as a guy. Yes, I have a number of male friends, mostly heterosexual, but we rarely talk about guy things -- sports, hunting, other things that don't come to mind because I usually block it out. I've always wanted to be "just one of the girls". Hopefully I manage to get there someday.

[docrobbysherry]

I just want to be ME!

However, as I'm only 60+, I haven't figured out who or what that IS yet! I'll just continue down the yellow brick CD road, and see where it leads me!
At this point, I'm THRILLED to be able to APPEAR to be a pretty woman, and to meet other CD/TSs!

[Kathleen Ann Trees]

God made me a physical man.
Society pigeon holes me a male.
I'm attracted to pretty girls.
I love feeling feminine.
I wonder if my cross dressing is an attraction to myself and/or a way to feel good about myself.
I've had no desire to ever be in a gay relationship.
I wonder if I was a woman if my attractions would be different.
I don't know how God expects me to feel or behave.
I hope there is reincarnation and I get a chance to try life again. (Or go back to what I've been before :-))

[deebra]

There is a third choice, TGIRL to keep the male plumbing because it provides so much pleasure, but live and have the outwards apperance of a woman full time. This transition would include a feminine face and body, taking hormones, breast implants and some other cosmetic surgery to achieve 100% passability. Imagine all the pretty, sexy clothes, how nice you would look made up, to walk in heels, to be soft and gentle and not the tough, macho male. This would limit the number of partners that I could have, but I would have to see where it took me. It is just such a satisfing thought to live full time as an attractive woman.

[suchacutie]

I too think this is not such a simple topic. I grant that I don't want to lose my male body, but on the other hand the word "play" in connection with being a woman doesn't quite sit well with me. I admit that I came late in life to the notion that I had a strong feminine self. Having said that, my fem. self (Tina) is a remarkably independent entity. Tina is NOT my guy self in a dress. She is a psychologically feminine creature and a rather independent thinker at that. She has her own likes and dislikes and much else that is strictly hers. When the transformation takes place, Tina is very content to stay Tina and be herself. The natural course of life requires that she change back, but without that requirement I could see her staying for days, and then changing back for days. I need both sides of me, and they both identify strongly with their presented gender.

tina

[missyvf]

As the question is presented...I'm happy to get the satisfaction from dressing

[Jennifer Freeman]

I want the best of both worlds! Each gender has it's problems. As a male I don't have the monthly problems nor the birth problems. The freedom and comfort of wearing what I like, the peace of mind I have as Jennifer, is the other side of what I seek.
Jennifer Freeman

[Brynna M]

I guess I'm more in the "play" woman catagory. But that has more to do with me wanting to emulate things I find appealing. I look at a good athlete and thing I wish I could play like that. I look at a beautiful woman with her appearance well put together and I think "I wish I could look like that". Given the opportunity I will try to emulate those things to the degree I can. It really doesn't matter to me that they are male of female. I'm comfortable being me with both my "male" and "female" inclinations. If I had been born female I'd probably still be into judo and well made weapons but no one would care if I opted for jeans or a cute skirt.

[Heathersgams]

It's easy to say it's more complicated, don't pigeon hole me, not black or white but the question on it's own is valid. Answering it challenges you sense of self, where you are and where you may or may not go. I can only answer in the present tense, I enjoy playing the part, now if I win the lottery...

[2SpeedTranny]

Where's the "guy who rejects fashion norms" option? I guess I'm with Pythos here.


There are two types of people in the world: those who divide everyone into two groups, and those who don't. :straightface:

[theresa]

I definately fall into the category of wanting to be female most of the time. For me it isn't just the clothes any more. It's more about who I really am.

[AmberM]

I'm a very feminine guy who likes dressing and presenting as a woman. I could potentially be a woman in a man's body.

[crusadergirl]

I don't believe there are only 2 types of crossdressers b/c i don't fit in to either one and don't plan too. Never really felt like a cd anyways i just dress because fits in too who i am as a person.

[Stephanie47]

I enjoy being a male and doing male things! And I do enjoy things normally associated with females-cooking, baking. I also do things as a male that I find must be done-laundry, vacuuming, grocery shopping. I perform all of those well in guy mode. When I am enfemme and do those same chores I am not "playing" female. I truly believe I have a dual personality. When I am cooking and doing laundry at the same time (multitasking) dressed in a nice dress, slip, heels and stockings I do not think I am playing woman. I am, well, just doing those things as well as a woman as I do as a man. I find doing those tasks enfemme just give me an almost "out of male body experience."

[jessicaheartt09]

To answer the question simple I'm my own person and fit in just like everyone else.....where we perceive to. But in reality I'm a girl trapped in a man's body slowly coming out to the world. Anymore its harder for me to want to live as a guy and I want to present myself as female full time but can't currently. Hopefully within the next year this will happen for me.

[briannad]

Interesting question to ask and I have enjoyed reading the different responses. I consider myself a person that is more of a woman in spirit rather than "play a woman". Due to a number of factors, I live and present as a male to the public and deal with the frustration and emptiness that comes with doing that.