first stare

[zoe m]

So I got my first stare yesterday... I was going out to the car, which I had parked about a block away (didn't find parking next to my building), and a man and a woman passed by some 15 feet away, the woman stared at me for a few seconds before looking away. It was nerve-racking for a fraction of a second, but then I decided not to care.

Later I was trying to think what had "given me away", since it was already dark so she couldn't see my face too well, and I'm pretty small so no bigger than an average woman. It may have been my shoulders, or maybe my inept walking on heels :) (low heels though).

It's also possible her attention might have been drawn simply by seeing someone wearing a skirt (to my knees) and nylons rather than jeans when it was so cold outside. I guess if I ever want to blend in with most girls nowadays I have to wear jeans not skirts.

When I was coming back later that evening some guys passed by the other sidewalk, but didn't stare :).

Needless to say I wouldn't be walking around at night in a deserted area. But in my street I feel pretty safe, and I don't really care if my neighbors recognize me.

[randumbness]

Well, in any case, it depends on the outfit. I think that's what women notice first if they have a bf or something. Most girls nowadays when they go out sometimes don't dress very dressy. Jeans and a sweater does well for them. So when they see another woman in nylons and a skirt, they either assume the girl is young or the girl is overdoing it. Just my opinion though. Don't think about it too much though, it's nothing to linger on.

[suchacutie]

This really does sound like she was checking you out for your outfit, not your presented gender. Every thread about going out or about "passing" in this forum eventually gets around to confidence, and I've come to believe that they are right. Looking at her and smiling might have changed an uncertainty into a normal girl-girl interaction.

Have fun!

tina

[Michelle 51]

I'm 6 ft and 230 lbs.I expect people to look but its those who can't help themselves and are very obvious about it that make me chuckle.I don't mind someone reading me.It's someone reading me and then putting a name to the face that scares me.Read me all you want as long as you don't know me.I will never dress in my home town.

[Starla]

Also, if it was that dark, and difficult to see your face, she may have been simply trying to see if you were someone she knew from the neighborhood. Maybe she knows someone about your size with a similar hairstyle, and was trying to determine if it was that person.

[Karan49]

May I suggest, if I were that girl staring I would be wondering if you were okay as it is so rare to see a gal dressed so nicely out, alone by herself after dark as it isn't safe; no matter the neighborhood. Be careful and think like the woman you want to be. And, a smile would have been appropriate and set her mind at ease about you. Have fun.... Karan

[renee k]

Well, in any case, it depends on the outfit. I think that's what women notice first if they have a bf or something. Most girls nowadays when they go out sometimes don't dress very dressy. Jeans and a sweater does well for them. So when they see another woman in nylons and a skirt, they either assume the girl is young or the girl is overdoing it. Just my opinion though. Don't think about it too much though, it's nothing to linger on.

I like this theory, I think the skirt and nylons drew the look. Women always look at what other women are wearing. I wouldn't give it another thought.

Renee

[Annie D]

Most people may glance your way, make you, and then look away in embarrassment. Most don't want to get caught staring. As I become braver out in public, when I make eye contact with someone in a store or on the street, I have learned to smile and if the moment allows it, I will say some type of greeting, especially to another women; men just get the smile. Whether I am made, and I'm sure that I am, I just go on with the purpose of my shopping or outing. What would you do if you were dressed differently, say a colorful shirt or a t-shirt that carried a message. People stare, it is human nature. Be yourself and go about your business.

[Pythos]

She may have been jealous to see a "woman" out and about in something nice, opposed to utilitarian and common like jeans.

Our culture has gotten too mundane.

Skirts for all, male and female!!!! LOL

[JohnH]

Our culture has gotten too mundane.

Skirts for all, male and female!!!! LOL

I agree 100 percent! That is a big reason why I wear dresses, hose, and heels, along with makeup.

And while I am wearing a blue and black sweater dress, along with the hose, heels, and makeup, I am listening to Bach's organ music. I get razzed on two sides by my wife - I have my unconventional taste in clothes and she teases me about my listening to funeral music!

Johanna

[Chickhe]

Sounds like a ... How the heck does she keep warm in that? stare!

[Amanda22]

Zoe, you weren't read by anyone. It totally sounds like you received attention based on your attractive clothing.

[annabellejorden]

My jog requires that I be able to read people and there rections.

If the gal didn't immediately look away when you noticed her, then it probably was probably along the lines of her checking out your clothes, not her checking out you.

Just my 2 cents.

[zoe m]

Thank you all for your replies! It's true, I probably did look overdressed.

I don't mean to go on and on with my updates, but while I have this thread... :) right after posting this I went out again - wearing a long skirt this time and making sure to park close to my house - and stopped by a drive-thru restaurant. Since I was bummed that I had missed a TG meeting yesterday, this was my consolation prize. This time I was bound to get read, if nothing else because of my voice. But nothing bad happened, the guys serving were very polite. Sure, after I had gotten my food and started to drive away I could hear them shouting excitedly to one another, and I'm sure they laughed, but at least to my face they were very respectful and acted as though everything was normal. So I guess I was lucky.

One thing I did learn though - unless you really know what you're doing, don't try to talk in any voice other than your own. You will sound like you're trying too hard. I realized this after saying a few words and just returned to my regular voice. I guess gurls who really do pass learn how to do it properly, but I'm not at that stage yet! :)

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

If another woman stares at you, remember to smile back. Don't smile back at men who stare at you, but always smile at other women, particularly if you make eye contact. :)

[Avana]

i'll be the first in this thread to say i'd probably stare (ogle) at you if i saw you pass by too :o

[vetobob9]

BO is a factor too. GM's bo is different from GW's bo. Women can usuallytell the difference simply from smell. This is part of the pheromone phenomenon.
The pheromones tell whether another person is acceptable as a mate.

Chances are, however, she was checking out your outfit.

Does anyone know what advantages a genetic female would have in having boyfriend who wears a dress or skirt? When she's in mood she doesn't have to fumble with belts,buttons or zippers. She can just reach under and grab what she wants. And if someone walks in, all he has to do is just push the skirt back down instead fumbling with the belt, buttons or being caught with his pants down.

[TxKimberly]

I once posted about being read and someone responded that i should try an experiment - when drab, imagine that I'm dressed and pay attention to how many times I think that I have been "read". It was kind of surprising. Several times, looks that I would have assumed meant that I had been read were directed my way. In other words, sometimes we do misinterpret looks and the like . . .

[Nicole Erin]

Even if she detected you being TG, it probably didn't matter to her.
I think a lot of us wonder what "Gave it away" but you get to a point where you could care less.

Now if I saw you out and about, I don't know if I would detect you or not but either way I would be thinking, "Now why can't *I* find such a lovely girlfriend?" :D Hey I like women. TG, GG, no matter.

[Stephanie Anne]

I had the worst stare ever! At a checkout, a little 3 or 4 year odl girl was glued on my with her eyes because to herr, I ma sure I was 200 feet tall.

Her mom started laughing and grabbed er by the head and turned her around to leave the store and apologized to me saying "she does that with tall people". I could not stop laughing it was so cute and yet creepy.

When I first went full time I was so freaked out by anyone staring or laughing, it would make me very uncomfortable.

Now it's just nothing. In fact I give stares at women myself. Unconsciously too. I do it because I ma looking at what they are wearing and seeing if I like it. I also have this habit of glancing at someone dressed out of place for weather conditions. Such as capris and thongs on their feet in the middle of winter.