where to go from here

[danielle.cd]

ok for those of u who follow my posts and have read my post know that i eventually how ever long it takes will have female parts before i die, i have accepted the fact that im a cd er and will always be one no matter what cause thats who i am , just like an alcholic is always an alcholic just sober and in recovery or something like that, now the worst part about the whole thing is that i dont know where to go from here , part of me wants to start transitioning with hormones, mainly to get my legs, hips, thighs, and butt bigger and more looking the part, boobs are not some thing that im too interested in at this time but will probably have implanted some in my life , and the other part says start working out and get bigger that way

but who wants to see a women that looks like a man, let alone a man trying to pose as a women but looks like a man,

plus i believe i would be happy being ******* as well

its been a couple years that ive wanted to actually do something about this and finally started laser hair removal on my face
i dont want to really out my self yet, thats something i will have to do way down the road, i will eventually but now is not the time, i also dont know where to go to start so i can get on hormones , i have tried t blockers and some fem booster, self medicated <dont beat me over the head,>
when i was on the meds it was nicer and more mellow, and could actually think for once instead my mind on sex all the time
i want to do it the right way so i dont hurt my self, i dont think my insurance covers this and i dont want my work to know so it would be out of pocket, plus i dont know any therapist or docs in lansing mi, to talk to, i know i really need a therapists. cause i know eventually i will be transitioning but for now i want to at least start on the road and decide how fast or slow to go , its just i dont know where to go to start:straightface:

[StaceyJane]

I think seeing a therapist is a good place to start. It can be tough sometimes to find a good gender therapist. I went through a long search for a therapist. I email several practices asking if they had someone that worked with transgendered patients. None of the local therapist did. On even told me that tg therapy wouldn't be covered under my insurance.
finally I expanded my search and found a therapist that had experience with gay/ lesbian patients plus had interned with a TG support group in New York. I asked her about the insurance and she explained that we could talk about anything I wanted to. She would take care of the insurance filing.

I hope you can find some answers. I know how desperate you can feel.

[juno]

I don't know anything about proper transitioning, but here are my suggestions.

Working out to get muscle "breasts" doesn't work. It will give you too much male appearance. Men are already too broad in the shoulders.

Once you get on a real hormone regimen, try adding vacuum pumping to maximize any breast growth you get. If you respond well to hormones, maybe it will be enough to avoid having an unnecessary surgery.

I think that some lowering of testosterone and increasing estrogens is good even for those who are not interested in transitioning. Many male health problems, especially prostate cancer, are caused by testosterone. The only disadvantage is a lowered sex drive. For some people, that may not be so bad; you can focus more on romance.

[TabbyJames]

The first thing should be therapy. In order for doctor specializing in Gender transition to prescribe hormones, one must first go through Therapy. google the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Standards of Care. and sorry, insurance wont cover the medical part but perhaps would help with the Therapy