told my SO

[andreapink]

recently just told my SO about my crossdressing. at first she said no biggie then kinda freaked out a couple days later. Now she just bought me new panties as a surprise! soooo excited! she still wants to take it slow but she is soooo accepting and understanding!

I couldnt be happier right now!

Andrea

[SweetPea_GG]

I want to give you a big congrats on telling your SO.. thats a big big step and I think its one that people really need to look at and realize its so much better with telling your SO rather then them finding out on their own. I want to also say that she might also go through various emotions from accepting to not accepting and then back to accepting. Its a big change in your SOs life now especially if you have been together for awhile. But its good to know that she is supporting and understanding.. just dont cover her in pink fog :) all at once.. take small steps and help her learn too.

[Roberta Marie]

Great advice and insight, SweetPea. The only thing that I maight add is to keep the lines of communication open.

Grace,
Bobbi

[juno]

A common theme seems to be that many SOs can accept it when they know you very well, but then they get paranoid when they start wondering what other people will think. The fear is that they don't want others to think you are nuts, when they know that you are in fact just a nice guy with interests different from most men.

My advice is to not go too fast. When you feel that your partner is accepting, it is easy to open up too much and overwhelm them. It is especially concerning when you let your feminine side show for too long at one time. They need assurance that you still have a male side.

When your SO accepts you, it is the most wonderful feeling!

[SweetPea_GG]

My advice is to not go too fast. When you feel that your partner is accepting, it is easy to open up too much and overwhelm them. It is especially concerning when you let your feminine side show for too long at one time. They need assurance that you still have a male side.


this I have to agree with 100%.. I think its easy for one to get caught up in themselves after they tell their spouse or their spouse finds out and is trying to be accepting. Especially in the beginning they dont need it and probably dont want it in their face 24x7.. ease them into it.. they still like to know that their man is in there and has man time too.

[Janetmichelle]

That is so wonderful. Just make sure you do take it slow. My SO and I are both dressers. It took her a little while for her to come out to me after I did to her but we could be happier. Life is full of wonderful things but never take them for granted.

cheer,
Jan

[Terrigirl]

Just know that every wife is different. My wife is my best friend and has been for the last 23 years. I told her about me being transgendered about 3 years ago. It has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions since then. At first, she was fine, but soon after it caused a lot of problems. She went back and forth for quite some time until she finally told me that she could only accept me as her best friend, but not as her wife. She loves me dearly, and I her, but she decided that she can't be married to a transgendered man. We recently filed for divorce, but she still loves me and considers me her best friend. It took years to get to this point but that is my consequence for not be honest from day one. I don't regret telling her about me because living a lie was more than I could bare, however I will miss her as my wife and it will be next to impossible to open up to any other woman in the future.

[giuseppina]

Hello Andrea

I agree with the above posters. It's great that your SO gave you some panties, but it's also important to step back and let her take the lead. At the risk of sounding like a killjoy, maybe do nothing for two or three weeks and see how she reacts.

Whatever you do, stay out of her clothes. That will almost certainly destroy what you have.

There is a very good sticky by Marla GG in the loved ones section entitled Now I like It, Now I Don't or something to that effect.

Good luck. :hugs:

[GirlieAmanda]

My wife found out in 2001. We went through so much over the next 10 years but are now divorcing. She never could accept it and is not sexually attracted to me any more. BUT I am very happy and am at peace or getting there with who I am. We were not compatible in other ways too my wife and I but, the CDing was the biggie for her at least. I do miss what we had. I have talked to people who have accepting wives to wives that just are OK with it to not so OK to not accepting to divorce. It ranges so greatly. It seems so great if you can have the best of both worlds. I just have one world now but...what a great new world it is.