a very straight friend caught me off guard.

[Jennyfir]

I dressed today and went to my University. It's kinda small, but I like it. As usual I walk in through the doors, but unlike usual, I am wearing a skirt, leather jacket left unzipped, and a nice pink top, with grey tights on as well. No one at first notices, and I only got a couple snickers.

Well later in the day, one of my friends, who is extremely straight, says to me, "I'm not judging you for what your wearing, but i'm going to say you would better with something past your knees. I was into the female clothing not too long ago." and with that he left the room and left me open mouthed, along with my friends in the lounge.

Honestly, I think I look cute with the mini on, but the one I have does need to be a size smaller and the shirt a large instead of a medium. In all, I had a great time dressing like I wanted, even though it was confusing the hell outta people at my campus and I was getting those "OMG" looks from people. It makes me giggles sometimes.:heehee:

[ThiHi]

First time you've done anything like that?

[Jennyfir]

First time you've done anything like that?

This would actually be my second time out dressed, but first time at my University. Both times were a blast and I'm going with a friend I trust more than my others friends shopping soon.

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you go to a small college, are you sure it is a good idea to do that? When people saw you dressed, did they know it was you? Didn't people in class know it was you and wonder why you were dressed like a girl? Since you have to go there everyday, and might have outed yourself to everyone, I'd be worried someone will harass you (or worse.)

If you are going to do this, I would listen to your friend, and dress modestly. Straight cisgender men may be uncomfortable with you to begin with, but if they think you are looking for male attention (they will assume you are looking for male attention, as they would assume a GG wearing a mini is also be looking for male attention), their reaction might be much worse.

[Gerrijerry]

So if I understand you. You put on an out fit that you new would cause others to look at you. Not one to fit in as other average girls do. Now you tell us "a very straight friend caught me off guard." Give me a break. You of course can wear what you want however lets stop complaining about it when you get the reaction you obviously wanted. This is not really about crossdressing it is about you wanting to shock others to prove what? This is what makes it hard for crossdressers to be accepted. Stunts like this one.

[Engendered]

There's no need for any negativity in this topic. :)
It takes a lot of guts to do what Jenny did, and we're the last people who should be trying to rain on the parade.

[Jennifer_Ph]

I think you should ask the 'very straight friend' if he has any of his clothes left, and if you can have them! I mean if he's not going to wear them anymore....

[Jill Devine]

So if I understand you. You put on an out fit that you new would cause others to look at you. Not one to fit in as other average girls do. Now you tell us "a very straight friend caught me off guard." Give me a break. You of course can wear what you want however lets stop complaining about it when you get the reaction you obviously wanted. This is not really about crossdressing it is about you wanting to shock others to prove what? This is what makes it hard for crossdressers to be accepted. Stunts like this one.
?
Your response is a surprise.
The OP was caught off guard because a "normal" male friend basically admitted to being a crossdresser and then gave some fashion tips instead of expressing shock or surprise that the OP had come to campus dressed that way. How cool is that?

That is a pleasant surprise in my book.

[Jay Cee]

?
Your response is a surprise.
The OP was caught off guard because a "normal" male friend basically admitted to being a crossdresser and then gave some fashion tips instead of expressing shock or surprise that the OP had come to campus dressed that way. How cool is that?

That is a pleasant surprise in my book.

+1 on that.

Good for you, Jenny, for getting out and about in whatever clothing you wish to wear. We shouldn't need to bend to society's norms, for doing something that is completely harmless. I do urge caution, though, in where and when you dress.

[Roberta Marie]

So if I understand you. You put on an out fit that you new would cause others to look at you. Not one to fit in as other average girls do. Now you tell us "a very straight friend caught me off guard." Give me a break. You of course can wear what you want however lets stop complaining about it when you get the reaction you obviously wanted. This is not really about crossdressing it is about you wanting to shock others to prove what? This is what makes it hard for crossdressers to be accepted. Stunts like this one.

Think about this for a second. If she's in college, she's likely college age. I live in a university town and it is not at all uncommon to see girls walking to class wearing anything from their pajamas to a mini skirt and top. Seems to me she was not dressed out of lone for the enviroent she was in.

I understood that what she was caught off guard by was her friend's fashion advice and confession that he, too, is a crossdresser.

If she is ready to come out, this is a good first step, as long as she is ready, and aware of everything that goes along with coming out. I know I never had that kind of courage in college.

Grace,
Bobbi

[Roberta Marie]

Jennyfir,

Congrats. This took a lot of courage. Hopefully you've thought this all through, and understand the possible ramifications of your actions, and are not acting on a whim or from the pink fog. But I can think of fewer places that would be better to start coming out than a college campus (as long as it's not a Bible college LOL), or a better time in your life. Having spent most of my life in a college town, I understand the openess of a campus, and have seen a lot of gender bending.

Grace,
Bobbi

[JOJO44]

I know I never had that kind of courage in college.

Grace,
Bobbi

Still don't.

[kimdl93]

I have to admit - I was a little confused by the . Was there a word or two missing from your friend's comment? Was your friend "not" judging you for what your were wearing?

Beyond that, my question would be this: Are you going out dressed to get reactions or dressing because you enjoy dressing as a woman? I have misgivings about the former, but fully understand the latter.

[Julogden]

Honestly, I think I look cute with the mini on, but the one I have does need to be a size smaller and the shirt a large instead of a medium. In all, I had a great time confusing the hell outta people at my campus and I love getting those "OMG" looks from people. It makes me giggles sometimes.:heehee:
When we're beginning CD's (and sometimes when we're nowhere near being a beginner), it's common to not be able to judge whether an outfit is appropriate or flattering, we tend to dress in what gives us a thrill, so to speak. But in your case, it sounds like you're deliberately dressing to get people upset, without regard as to whether your attire is appropriate for the setting. You say that you enjoy shaking people up. Then by all means, wear an even shorter skirt, but don't expect much in the way of support from those of us who have self-respect and dress accordingly.

Sounds like your friend was trying to tell you that too, and I don't blame him/her for walking away, I wouldn't want to be associated with someone who is doing what you did either. Whether you realize it or not, BS like what you did makes it just a bit harder for TG people to be treated with respect.

Carol

[Sophie_C]

I dressed today and went to my University. It's kinda small, but I like it. As usual I walk in through the doors, but unlike usual, I am wearing a skirt, leather jacket left unzipped, and a nice pink top, with grey tights on as well. No one at first notices, and I only got a couple snickers.

Well later in the day, one of my friends, who is extremely straight, says to me, "I'm judging you for what your wearing, but i'm going to say you would better with something past your knees. I was into the female clothing not too long ago." and with that he left the room and left me open mouthed, along with my friends in the lounge.

Honestly, I think I look cute with the mini on, but the one I have does need to be a size smaller and the shirt a large instead of a medium. In all, I had a great time confusing the hell outta people at my campus and I love getting those "OMG" looks from people. It makes me giggles sometimes.:heehee:

Jenny, you need some more fashion advice. Your friend was right. You can't have a big top over a micro mini. It looks RIDICULOUS. If you're going to show a little skin, it's got to be sorta equal on the top and bottom and if you're not, then don't do it on the top and bottom. Also, you've got to account for the tiny booty most males have, so it's best to have something a little larger on the bottom, if you don't have padding. Be glad you have a friend like that, a lesser man could have beat the hell out of you (sorry, I expect bigotry, even today). Sounds like a good day, all in all! :)

[Tina B.]

Jennyfir, is that what you where wearing at the time? If so a denim mini, and a tee shirt, would not be out of place at the college near here. And yes people her friend did criticize her for what she was wearing, the fact that her skirt was too short, bothered her friend, not the fact that she is in a skirt, my wife has said as much to me at times, not a big criticism. Jennyfir, if you want to be out, I don't know a better place to start that there, good luck with it!
Tina B.

[Pythos]

A big top over a micro mini looks ridiculous? You should dress to blend in?!!

STOP IT people!!!!

This person was not ridiculed or beaten up or made fun of for wearing the clothing of the opposite gender to school. This is good. It is also astounding to hear of a straight male friend giving some pointers.

Big tops and micro minis CAN indeed work, just look at some of the styles from the 80s.

Also, some here seem to have the attitude that if one wears something that does not blend in, but also is not all that outrageous, that the person is "asking for" unwanted attention.

The stuff I wear you all already know my reason...because I LIKE it. I certainly do not "ask for" ridicule, laughter, or a trip to the house of pain. Those would only be the result ignoramuses taking it upon themselves to be jerks.

We all need to stop being so catty to one another, and truly read posts. This person was not asking why they got the advice they did, but was simply stating they got it. If they were indeed asking why, I personally would have said the combination of colors clashed worse than most things, the biggest being the pink top. If black or nude hose were worn the MAY have worked better.

[Kate Lynn]

When I was in college,I was caught by three of my neighbors,and the beating they gave me put me in a hospital for 5 weeks,no they weren't prosecuted,the cops said,"what do you expect wearing things like that".

[Jill Devine]

A big top over a micro mini looks ridiculous? You should dress to blend in?!!

STOP IT people!!!!

This person was not ridiculed or beaten up or made fun of for wearing the clothing of the opposite gender to school. This is good. It is also astounding to hear of a straight male friend giving some pointers.

Big tops and micro minis CAN indeed work, just look at some of the styles from the 80s.
Also, some here seem to have the attitude that if one wears something that does not blend in, but also is not all that outrageous, that the person is "asking for" unwanted attention.
The stuff I wear you all already know my reason...because I LIKE it. I certainly do not "ask for" ridicule, laughter, or a trip
to the house of pain. Those would only be the result ignoramuses taking it upon themselves to be jerks.
We all need to stop being so catty to one another, and truly read posts. This person was not asking why they got the advice they did, but was simply stating they got it. If they were indeed asking why, I personally would have said the
combination of colors clashed worse than most things, the biggest being the pink top. If black or nude hose were worn the MAY have worked better.
Very very well said. Bravo.

[Cassandra90]

Since I'm still trying to figure out my femme side, I decided to go shopping at at local store in the past. Just wearing a hoodie, a t-shirt of mine, and a favorite brown skirt. I wasn't sure how the responses would be. But, I totally enjoyed doing it. I hope to go out again in a more femme look!

[Pythos]

When I was in college,I was caught by three of my neighbors,and the beating they gave me put me in a hospital for 5 weeks,no they weren't prosecuted,the cops said,"what do you expect wearing things like that".

I find this VERY hard to believe. What country do you live in? Actually what decade was this, cause yea I can see such ignorant thought processes prevailing during the nifty 50s.

[Lorileah]

If you go to a small college, are you sure it is a good idea to do that? When people saw you dressed, did they know it was you? Didn't people in class know it was you and wonder why you were dressed like a girl? Since you have to go there everyday, and might have outed yourself to everyone, I'd be worried someone will harass you (or worse.)



Arrrrgggh! First what difference does the size of the college make? Second why should Jenny have to conform to outdated and irrational standards. Third, if you have been around college students they tend to be more open mined.

All this fear of being outed just reinforces the fact that a large part of this community is still thinking they are doing something bad. You aren't! They are just clothes people! You also reinforce tho old "You are looking for a guy" attitude.

The style one wears is uniquely their own. All this talk about dressing appropraitely or being modest is your opinion not theirs. If a friend offers style advice I take it as a compliment and if I agree with it, I will try and follow it. Usually I just smile and nod and say thanks for that and then dress however I like.

Jenny has made a commitment to be out as she is. Why should she conform to a antiquated ideal that really has no bearing on the whole world in general? She will adhere to what her circle of friends determine is apropriate. One has weighed in and if she takes the advice and gets a new outfit...that is her decision. If not, no big deal.

[TxKimberly]

Arrrrgggh! First what difference does the size of the college make? Second why should Jenny have to conform to outdated and irrational standards. Third, if you have been around college students they tend to be more open mined.

All this fear of being outed just reinforces the fact that a large part of this community is still thinking they are doing something bad. You aren't! They are just clothes people! You also reinforce tho old "You are looking for a guy" attitude.

The style one wears is uniquely their own. All this talk about dressing appropraitely or being modest is your opinion not theirs. If a friend offers style advice I take it as a compliment and if I agree with it, I will try and follow it. Usually I just smile and nod and say thanks for that and then dress however I like.

Jenny has made a commitment to be out as she is. Why should she conform to a antiquated ideal that really has no bearing on the whole world in general? She will adhere to what her circle of friends determine is apropriate. One has weighed in and if she takes the advice and gets a new outfit...that is her decision. If not, no big deal.

I can't add a single thing to that - you said it all perfectly!

[Nicole Erin]

Hey if one can enjoy their dressing, why not? I won't lie, I wish I had a body to wear mini's.


A big top over a micro mini looks ridiculous? You should dress to blend in?!!
STOP IT people!!!!


Pythos, I don't think anyone would tell you to "dress to blend in" as you style is so unique, it would simply not be you if you dressed to "blend in". Girl, I think your style is awesome :D

[minalost]

I think this thread has gotten WAY off track! Jenny was not looking for a critique of her sytle but just relating a story about what one of her friends said that suprized her. All I can say is GO JENNY! I wish I had that much courage in collage!

[Niya W]

Arrrrgggh! First what difference does the size of the college make? Second why should Jenny have to conform to outdated and irrational standards. Third, if you have been around college students they tend to be more open mined.

All this fear of being outed just reinforces the fact that a large part of this community is still thinking they are doing something bad. You aren't! They are just clothes people! You also reinforce tho old "You are looking for a guy" attitude.

The style one wears is uniquely their own. All this talk about dressing appropraitely or being modest is your opinion not theirs. If a friend offers style advice I take it as a compliment and if I agree with it, I will try and follow it. Usually I just smile and nod and say thanks for that and then dress however I like.

Jenny has made a commitment to be out as she is. Why should she conform to a antiquated ideal that really has no bearing on the whole world in general? She will adhere to what her circle of friends determine is apropriate. One has weighed in and if she takes the advice and gets a new outfit...that is her decision. If not, no big deal.
It's a bit more than that. Some Cd's have this idea of how a women should look in act (creating the women that the could never find). Only college campus you can find over the top to people that look like prude from the 50's . Jenny knows the area and if it's safe fore her

[Jennyfir]

I have to say, some of these comments here really set me off. I'm not going to let it get to me, though. The point of this thread was the fact that I was shocked about my friend giving me fashion advice, admitted to cross-dressing, and liking what I wore. he walked out because he was going to be late for class at the time. I've thought through all the consequences for getting caught and what not, but the only people I really need to worry about are my parents. None of my friends really care after I explained it to them. Most of the faculty members found it amusing and bold, because no one had ever done this before. To the people saying they think I'm looking for male attention, I'm not. I'm happy being single. Those saying I only want to get attention in general, that's wrong too. I dress because I like the clothes. Female clothes seem to fit my form better actually and they aren't baggy and such. This is just one thing I like doing and I'm comfortable outting myself on my campus, and to those trying to bring down, just stop now, it ain't happening.

[Jill Devine]

Jennyfir just ignore the rain paraders. The irony is that we are all fighting for the freedom to wear what we want and then they tell what to wear. Crazy eh?
Just ignore them. Tell them to build a bridge and get over themselves. I bet you pennies to pounds that those complaining can't carry off a short skirt in public (and I'm not including a gay or tranny bar when I say "out in public").
Jealousy makes people nasty.

[minalost]

i have to say, some of these comments here really set me off. I'm not going to let it get to me, though. The point of this thread was the fact that i was shocked about my friend giving me fashion advice, admitted to cross-dressing, and liking what i wore. He walked out because he was going to be late for class at the time. I've thought through all the consequences for getting caught and what not, but the only people i really need to worry about are my parents. None of my friends really care after i explained it to them. Most of the faculty members found it amusing and bold, because no one had ever done this before. To the people saying they think i'm looking for male attention, i'm not. I'm happy being single. Those saying i only want to get attention in general, that's wrong too. I dress because i like the clothes. Female clothes seem to fit my form better actually and they aren't baggy and such. This is just one thing i like doing and i'm comfortable outting myself on my campus, and to those trying to bring down, just stop now, it ain't happening.

go jenny!!!!!!

[Jennyfir]

I really thought this was supposed to be a support forum, anyways. so to all of you saying good things, thank you very much.

[Karan49]

Hi Jennyfir,

I really think what you're doing is fantastic. Being in college is wonderful time to explore who you are. I'm glad you're taking the time to dress the way you choose to. From your last post you suggest you aren't doing this for attention, but in prior posts you indicate you do want attention. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting or seeking attention. We all want acceptance for who we are. And having others tell us they like what we're wearing is a fine way to know we are being accepted. So people have to pay attention in order to tell us so.

Please keep exploring and having fun. I recall my college years and doing similar things and I also was accepted for who I was and I so enjoyed all the compliments and attention. No one ever threatened me or said anything negative. I recall so many smiles and words of encouragement, especially from the girls. Take care, and have lots and lots of fun... Karan

[Julogden]

I have to say, some of these comments here really set me off. I'm not going to let it get to me, though. The point of this thread was the fact that I was shocked about my friend giving me fashion advice, admitted to cross-dressing, and liking what I wore. he walked out because he was going to be late for class at the time. I've thought through all the consequences for getting caught and what not, but the only people I really need to worry about are my parents. None of my friends really care after I explained it to them. Most of the faculty members found it amusing and bold, because no one had ever done this before. To the people saying they think I'm looking for male attention, I'm not. I'm happy being single. Those saying I only want to get attention in general, that's wrong too. I dress because I like the clothes. Female clothes seem to fit my form better actually and they aren't baggy and such. This is just one thing I like doing and I'm comfortable outting myself on my campus, and to those trying to bring down, just stop now, it ain't happening.

You're painting an entirely different picture now than you did in your original posting. Your original posting made it sound like your friend reacted in a judgmental way and walked away in a huff ("I'm judging you for what your wearing, but i'm going to say you would better with something past your knees. I was into the female clothing not too long ago." and with that he left the room and left me open mouthed"), and it also sounded to me like you dress to rile up other people and get attention ("In all, I had a great time confusing the hell outta people at my campus and I love getting those "OMG" looks from people.").

Perhaps in the future you should look at what what you've written to make sure you're not giving a misleading impression before posting. If I've misunderstood what you were saying, then sorry, I retract what I said. But do keep in mind that there are some of us here, like me, who have been dealing with this stuff since way before you were born, and we just might know some things about life, dressing and how to get along that you haven't learned yet.

And concerning community support, when you have "a great time confusing the hell outta people", remember that you are influencing the cisgendered population's perception of all of us. What you do in public can cause repercussion for others in the community. Is that supportive of our community?

Carol

[Vicki-Z]

Congrats Jenny! I'm proud of you for being you. :) For having the guts to dress how you wanted to and not caring about what others think. I admire that. Maybe you have more in common with your friend than you ever thought you did.

Vicki :cheer:

[Jennyfir]

Considering my comment on liking confusing people, I guess it was more in a passive way that I confused people. It wasnt my intention in the first place to do that. Sometimes I miss some words too. I can see where the confusion came from, sorry.

[Julogden]

I find this VERY hard to believe. What country do you live in? Actually what decade was this, cause yea I can see such ignorant thought processes prevailing during the nifty 50s.
Pythos, stuff like that still happens, not just back in the 1950's. You're living in a part of the country where we're tolerated a lot more than in many other areas. In 2009, police in Memphis, TN beat Duanna Johnson badly because she refused to respond to transphobic remarks they made to her, and she was found dead not too long after the police got lots of bad PR over their handling of her case, shot execution-style.

When I was out and about in Chicago in the mid-1990's, a TS friend and I were attacked by a bunch of skinhead types. As we were getting out of my car near a club we were going to, a car pulled up and a guy jumped out, tried to pull my friend into their car. I grabbed her arm and she pulled and fought, pulling free, they guys took off. I'm sure that if they had gotten her into their car, she wouldn't have been seen again, at least not in good shape.

There are lots more examples of crap like this too.

And I personally saw, and twice experienced, rude treatment of TG people by the Chicago cops in the '90's. Yes, most people, including police, will tolerate us now, but there are still those out there who will do us harm just because they don't like us.

Carol

[Pythos]

Jennyfir.

Awesome. We need more people like you in our clan :) I had the guts to wear SHINY leggings and sweaters to my college campus, and did so through out. I once wore a skirt too. It was nice looking different than the sea of baggy pants falling down and constantly having to be hiked up. There were others that did as I did too, which was good to see, but not many.

As far as cowardly people beating up CDs, and stuff. There are people that will beat you up for just having long hair, or driving a type of car. The world is filled with idiots. We cannot cower from them though, AND if they choose to pick a fight, you are the one that finishes it.

[Xandria]

good for you jenny for wearing what you wanted to wear :)

[sissystephanie]

Jenny, I also commend you for wearing what you like, not what someone tells you to wear. I have been a CD for over 60 years and have seen and experienced just about everythig imaginable! I now live here in Georgia, but have lived in many other places within the U.S.A. And in years past I have been assaulted while crossdressed, but appearing as a man. Fortunately, thanks to my military training those who assaulted me usually got the worst of it. People who know me still don't mess with me, since they know what I am capable of, even at my advanced age!

I go out all the time now wearing feminine clothing, but looking exactly like the man that I am! My dear late wife used to do my makeup and my wig, but she has passed on so I just forget that stuff. Nobody ever bothers me! Like you, I crossdress simply because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing. I have no desire to be a woman, in any way other than to dress like one.

[t-girlxsophie]

I find this VERY hard to believe. What country do you live in? Actually what decade was this, cause yea I can see such ignorant thought processes prevailing during the nifty 50s.

You must understand this attitude does prevail in many areas of the world,I myself was badly beaten up by Three males a few years back,I had to have 16 stitches from head and stomach wounds,this was only in the mid 90s so its best we keep vigilant even iin these more enlightened days.Sorry to start on a negative note Pythos as I very much agreed with your original post.as well as Lorileah and others.

personally I cannot believe some of the negativity coming from some of the posts,from folk who are meant to understand.Jennyfir was just wanting to convey her surprise that her friend,who she thought was too straight to "get it" was Indeed a Crossdresser,she wasn't looking to be attacked for pushing herself and her boundaries,For gawd sake she is a young woman,are you wanting her to wear a calf length skirt and twinset and pearls to college,Its the same as those that say we shouldnt wear skirts out as GGs dont wear them!! decrying this as BS or a stunt doesn't sound like the support one should expect.

and comments like "they Assume you will be looking for male attention,as they would assume a GG wearing a Mini is looking for male attention" astounded me:eek:,That sounds too much like "they were asking for it wearing that" to me:sad:

Well done Jennyfir i commend you for being brave and being yourself,Just wish other more judgemental folk could see through their prejudices,or what is the point in any of us venturing out in the midst of "normal" folk

:hugs:Sophie

[annabellejorden]

First,
Good Job Jennifir. I wish I had the guts to be that blatant.

Second,
I am luck, I guess, to live in a town that prides it's self on being weird. I have only lived in Portland, OR for about 3 years, but in that time have seen alot of strange things, including Jesus and Buda standing on the side walk discussing religion and pot.

Lastly,
Even though we live in a more enlightened time, it is important to remember, just because most prople are enlightened, there are some real @$$es out there. I am related to one of the biggest bigots I have ever met. Small minds will always be there and all we can do is be our selfs and show them there is a better way to live.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I guess I am the bad guy in all of this...

I am not trying to be mean or judgmental. I am only urging caution, and to take it slow. I was once her age, in college, dressing, and it wasn't all that long ago. Of course, she has incredible courage, far more than I ever did, I never had the guts to walk around my campus dressed.

I went to a small college, and the problem is that people know each other and it is easier to blend into a crowd. She is going to especially stand out and people will know who she is. If it is like many schools, there will be no shortage of young testosterone fueled homophobic men that may want to cause problems (even worse when they have a few drinks in them.) They may see another person they know to be a male wearing something provocative to be a threat to their sexuality and react in an unpleasant way. Of course it is wrong, young men should know better and learn to respect others no matter their differences, and we should all be allowed how to dress as we like. At the same time, it is what it is right now and we all live in this world and those who are different have to be careful. All I am saying is she needs to be very careful, and be sure she can handle any the possible consequences. Maybe she can. I know I couldn't have handled them. I only urge her to be slow and take things slowly and carefully, ok?

[Mahoro]

Jenny,
Hooray to you for getting out and being yourself, and for blowing off the negative comments from others, you just gotta do you honey!

About the surprise of your friend bringing up his own past CD'ing, it's amazing how many of us are out there flying under the radar, we need More trendsetters like you so that one day soon all those ridiculous CD stereotypes will be forgotten.

You certainly have my respect and admiration! :cheer:

[Jennyfir]

For the concerns of vickie, and if she has subscribed to this thread, I will say this. I have been training as a black belt in Tae Kwon Do for some time, roughly two years of that rank. Another friend I am close with is also the same rank in Jiu Jitsu, and another friend I am pretty close, even though he is a homophobe, doesn't mind me dressing at all, as long as I am not threatening his sexuality. He doesn't really have defense training like my other friend and I do, but he was a wrestler in high school. And my campus is so small that we don't have room for dorms, and because of that we have a low percentage of people that are drunk on camps because everyone has to commute daily.

[jjjjohanne]

Jennyfir,
Were you presenting as male above the shoulders? Some of what you said made it sound like you were just wearing unusual clothes for you and not that you were totally presenting something different.

[Fab Karen]

I have to say, some of these comments here really set me off. I'm not going to let it get to me, though. The point of this thread was the fact that I was shocked about my friend giving me fashion advice, admitted to cross-dressing, and liking what I wore. he walked out because he was going to be late for class at the time. I've thought through all the consequences for getting caught and what not, but the only people I really need to worry about are my parents. None of my friends really care after I explained it to them. Most of the faculty members found it amusing and bold, because no one had ever done this before. To the people saying they think I'm looking for male attention, I'm not. I'm happy being single. Those saying I only want to get attention in general, that's wrong too. I dress because I like the clothes. Female clothes seem to fit my form better actually and they aren't baggy and such. This is just one thing I like doing and I'm comfortable outting myself on my campus, and to those trying to bring down, just stop now, it ain't happening.
You tell 'em, girlfriend.

[Jennyfir]

Jennyfir,
Were you presenting as male above the shoulders? Some of what you said made it sound like you were just wearing unusual clothes for you and not that you were totally presenting something different.

When I CD I don't really change anything in my appearance as in the face and such. I just wear feminine clothes.

[Mary Morgan]

I find it interesting that most of us have at one time or another expressed our frustration with the so-called societal standards that impact our freedom to dress as we like, and although many styles within our community would not in my mind be right for me, I do not judge others for their choices. It may just be that human tolerance is more a concept than a reality.

[daphne_pynk]

good on you, shed the shame, make dressing the new norm, i'm with Jenny and Lorileah on this one, and i think your straight friend might be dropping a hint that if you want to chat to him he's there for you

[Julogden]

When I CD I don't really change anything in my appearance as in the face and such. I just wear feminine clothes.

So you're presenting as a guy wearing women's clothes? Or are you saying that you don't need makeup and such to appear feminine?

Just trying to get a feel for what you're trying to accomplish through dressing.

Carol

[Rianna Humble]

Jenny, firstly good on you for wearing what made you comfortable for your day. I'm really sorry that you have been subjected to a lot of criticism for daring to be yourself and this coming from people who want more freedom of expression for themselves.

I must be missing something negative in your original post. I saw it as relating a surprising but good incident. Your last paragraph makes it seem as if you have weighed up the advice that the "straight" friend gave you and found it wanting. If that is the case, then again I will say good for you.

As for the nay sayers who claim that you will give this community a bad name - they should give all of us a break! If we want to conform to narrow definitions of what is acceptable we can just pretend that we are cisgendered. It seems that some in this community want to receive understanding for their choices but are not prepared to give that same understanding to those who make different choices and that saddens me.

I think that some posters have tried to express a genuine concern for your safety - and I think that your friend was also doing that in his own way, but it is your life and it is not up to us to tell you to live it in a straight-jacket.

I will just question one thing in your later posts - you seemed to be implying that you didn't feel this was truly a support forum because you received some negative feedback. Please do not confuse support and reinforcement - some of the best support I have received on these forums came from people who disagreed with me or urged me to greater caution than I was prepared for. I recognise the quality of the support even when I did not act on their suggestions.

[Jennyfir]

So you're presenting as a guy wearing women's clothes? Or are you saying that you don't need makeup and such to appear feminine?

Just trying to get a feel for what you're trying to accomplish through dressing.

Carol

I'm presenting myself as a guy wearing feminine clothes. I don't think any amount of make-up could turn my face form male to female looking.

And as to Rianna, I was mainly talking about the one or two people that were saying extremely negative things. Apparently I wanted the reaction my friend gave me and I should stop complaining, according to one other user. I wasn't complaining at all about it, this act really did catch me off guard. This same user says I just want to shock people and apparently what I did was a stunt and it makes it hard for cross-dressers to be accepted. I was just wearing clothes I wanted to wear, and I treaded lightly on my boundries so I could basically, "Test the water" to see how people would react.

I do understand other people's concern for my safety and such. My town and wear I go to school, the people can be asses sometimes, but when they see a guy wearing a skirt and tights, no one is gunna mess with him. And if they do I just have to pull out that, "I am a Lethal Weapon" card I am required to carry with me at all times.

[Julogden]

I see, you are sort of trying women's clothes first with no makeup to get a feel for how others will react, if I'm understanding, and may try more at a later date, right?

Well, you might be surprised what makeup can accomplish when applied by someone who knows what they're doing. Looking at your profile photo, I'd say that with the right makeup, you could look very feminine, especially being so young. There's a lot of help to be had with makeup both here and on the Internet in general, and there are amazing amounts of makeup how-to videos on YouTube.

But if that isn't what you want, that doesn't really matter. Good luck in whatever you decide is for you.

Carol

[DebsUK]

Good for you Jenny. If more of us had the courage to do what you are (me included) there might be fewer haters around. That your friend turned out to be a CD is great, and you do wonder how many of us out there but not out there if you get my drift. I was at university in the late 80s and it was the most tolerant place I've probably ever been, with a really active LGB Society (these were the days before they added the T on that, but I think the support would probably have been there). I still kick myself I didn't try to explore my femme self more in that safe environment so I'm actually quite envious. Keep it up :)

[2SpeedTranny]

This is not really about crossdressing it is about you wanting to shock others to prove what? This is what makes it hard for crossdressers to be accepted. Stunts like this one.

So... if I understand this correctly...

A man wearing women's clothing is a "stunt" that makes crossdressers look bad.

Did you really think this through before you posted it?



Pythos, stuff like that still happens, not just back in the 1950's. You're living in a part of the country where we're tolerated a lot more than in many other areas. In 2009, police in Memphis, TN beat Duanna Johnson badly because she refused to respond to transphobic remarks they made to her, and she was found dead not too long after the police got lots of bad PR over their handling of her case, shot execution-style.

People die every day. People are mugged or shot for having nice cars or a different skin color. There are parts of cities where my life would be in danger if I were dressed as a redneck. So what's your point?

I utterly fail to see the difference between being a tranny without makeup, and a tranny with makeup. If anything, it's safer. I'll bet no one bothers a guy with a beard in a sundress. The easiest way not to be a victim is to not look like a victim. It's taught in every self defense class.

Do we cower in fear? Or live like we mean it?


This is the last place I'd look for criticism of cross-dressing, but wow....

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I see, you are sort of trying women's clothes first with no makeup to get a feel for how others will react, if I'm understanding, and may try more at a later date, right? l

I don't think this is what the OP is doing at all. Carol, not all of us crossdress because we want to dress as women. Some of us just like wearing women's clothes and that's why we do it. I for one usually don't wear much makeup, and the only time I ever dress up as a woman is as a costume. When I'm dressing up as myself for myself, I dress as a guy who wears some women's clothes. I don't try to pass as a woman, I try to look good as a man in women's clothes.

It really bugs me how people on this thread want to criticize the OP for being himself and dressing the way he does.

[Christy_M]

Good for you getting out and being you. It has to feel pretty good to express yourself and get feedback and affirmation that it is ok to be you from such a good friend.

I do agree that even when people disagree it doesn´t mean lack of support. Just understand that due to varying levels of intellect that support comes out as admonition. Words matter and when people don´t have the smarts to make constructive comments that sound like support, it will come out as almost anything including accusatory statements that you are somehow "making it harder on the TG community." I think most people want to help (maybe I am naive) but just don´t know how to without showing their a$$. There are plenty others here who have a knack for dumping on others because it makes them feel better about themselves. These folks may have the smarts but they use it for perpetuating negativity. Either way, these are comments that imo don´t deserve your time to sift through.

You have done a great thing for yourself and imo for our community by being yourself and getting out in the world where people can acknowledge we exist. Great job. As others have said, I wish I was young enough to pull off that outfit.

[Julogden]

I don't think this is what the OP is doing at all. Carol, not all of us crossdress because we want to dress as women. Some of us just like wearing women's clothes and that's why we do it. I for one usually don't wear much makeup, and the only time I ever dress up as a woman is as a costume. When I'm dressing up as myself for myself, I dress as a guy who wears some women's clothes. I don't try to pass as a woman, I try to look good as a man in women's clothes.

It really bugs me how people on this thread want to criticize the OP for being himself and dressing the way he does.
I understand that, and what you're doing, but that isn't what I got from the OP. Her screen name is a feminine name, and if you bother to check her other postings here, she has said in a previous posting that she is MTF transgender and might consider transitioning. So to me, she is not doing what you're doing, and you are not using the proper pronouns when referring to her.

In my opinion, support doesn't mean blindly patting everyone on the back regardless of what they're doing. If I feel that someone is screwing up, I'll tell them what I think, that's part of being supportive. My support is based on decades of dealing with gender stuff myself. I've made mistakes and I've seen the mistakes that other friends of mine have made, so my opinions are based on real-life experience. I'm not being critical just to rain on someone else's parade. Maybe I come across as a bit harsh on occasion, but I say what I mean, and it's always intended as constructive criticism.

My original posting in this thread was very critical of the OP, but that was due to a misunderstanding, and I believe that things have been straightened out between us. Now I'm trying to get a feel for what her goal is with crossdressing, that's all.

Carol

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Oh to be back at college and know what I know now. You go Jenni, do whatever you want and whatever feels right and good for you. Had I to do it all over again I would have dressed full time from my early 20's and never looked back. It is hard to change what you become after 50+ years and I would have loved to become Sandra back then.

[Jennyfir]

Yes, i consider myself a MtF transgender, but do to finances, parents who hates gay/lesbian/bisexuals/transgenders, and not being able to move out makes it hard for me to plan anything soon. Right now I'm just taking the path of dressing in female clothes. It is a good possibility I may try to pass as female, but I don't think I would do it often. All I really wanna do right now is what I said, Dress in female clothes. Not for any response, but because I like how they fit and feel.

[ThiHi]

I'm glad this thread has calmed down. I'm happy she's trying this, expanding her horizons. She's still learning who she or he, really is.

Jenny, I'll congratulate you, and wish you well in your trials, i hope everything works out. And has been said, please stay safe.

[Jennifer_Ph]

Well if nothing else Jenny I'm jealous. I'd love to spend every day in a skirt, hose, and heels. I am basically a waist down crossdresser. I love the clothes, but don't care to present as fem so much.