I don't think I've ever struggled as much with anything as I am with CDing right now

[Melissa Jill]

Coming in as a 22 year old man, knowing nothing about fashion, makeup, moisturisers, etc etc etc.
I am finding it all very overwhelming and I am struggling a lot to learn about it all.
I cruised through uni, getting a 2:1 (in Biomedical Sciences) whilst doing actually very little work for it. I guess Im just used to everything coming easy to me.
I think Im overthinking things too much, I am trying to jump right into the deep end thinking about everything such as shaving and makeup, when I don't even have any clothes yet.
It just feels like I am not progressing as quickly as I should or hoped to be.
Just bums me out a bit.
Sorry, I just had to vent a little, my lack of knowledge about all this is bringing me down, when really I should be enjoying this.

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Melissa, don't get too stressedout. I was talking to a couple of GG friends this morning about how much I have to learn and they reminded me that they have had a whole lifetime to learn and still don't always get things right.

The best thing you can do at the moment is take it easy, enjoy whatever makes you feel good and just pick up hints fromhere and there. Don't forget either that there is a Beauty Club board here to ask questions and get some good advice.

[KrystalA]

Yes, you should be enjoying it. Ease yourself into it, rather than trying to go the whole route immediately. It takes a while to geet comfortable with things, but her is definitely the place for help and advice. Everyone here is very friendly and helpful. One question though....it says you joined in Aug of 2006, and you don't have any feminine clothing or anything yet? Get with it girl! On second thought, if you've been denying it this long, maybe it really isn't your thing.

[Melissa Jill]

Yes, you should be enjoying it. Ease yourself into it, rather than trying to go the whole route immediately. It takes a while to geet comfortable with things, but her is definitely the place for help and advice. Everyone here is very friendly and helpful. One question though....it says you joined in Aug of 2006, and you don't have any feminine clothing or anything yet? Get with it girl! On second thought, if you've been denying it this long, maybe it really isn't your thing.

Ive dipped in and out, I had female clothes, then I purged a few months ago. I was never really sure if I was a crossdresser or not until recently. Any female urges I had were quite dormant until recently.

[Jilmac]

Melissa, I started dressing seriously at age 15. I am now 65 and am still learning. Please don't let the wonderful experience of crossdressing overwhelm you. Take baby steps exploring each phase with utmost patience and in due time you will become the girl of your dreams.

[Melissa Jill]

=)
Thanks for the replies everyone, I knew posting on here was the right thing to do. Im too used to struggling alone with things. I have accomplished a couple of things in the last couple of weeks. Ive started shaving with a manual razor on my face as opposed to electric, for a closer shave. Never done that before, got a few cuts on my face. Ive also measured myself for my dress & bra size. Hopefully this weekend I will go shopping for a few things, if I work up the courage.

[jacky83]

Charles Anders wrote the book "The Lazy Crossdresser" and he suggested reading women's magazines that are directed at teenagers like Seventeen because that is where many of us are at in our approaches to femininity even though we've long past our teenage years.

[gwenbeth]

Charles Anders wrote the book "The Lazy Crossdresser" and he suggested reading women's magazines that are directed at teenagers like Seventeen because that is where many of us are at in our approaches to femininity even though we've long past our teenage years.

That is a good point. The other day I was chatting with a friend and described myself as a "40 year old teenage girl"

[herwannabe]

You have plenty of time to learn, you are still a baby at 22, and as a baby take it one step at a time and you will learn to walk then you can run. There is no use in getting in a hurry I am 56 yrs old and still suk at the makeup part. I have the heels down pat though :battingeyelashes:

[Nicole Erin]

No set rate of progress. Contrary to what you hear about things.
Sometimes you might hear about some CD or TS who started when they were 5 or something but it doesn't matter.
many levels of dressing or transition, based on things like finances and comfort level.
Yeah don't worry about rushing things if you are not ready, just enjoy the journey.

You know actually there is a best time to start enjoying the journey or start transition - that time is today, today is the first day of the rest of your life, make it a good one.

[MichelleP]

Hi Melissa,

Take your time. It's a lot of things to think about, adopt and learn. You can find a lot of help with various topics like make up, hair, fashion etc. on this forum. Above all follow where that little voice in your head is leading you and you'll do great.

[Tina B.]

It all takes time, and practice. I've spent 40 years practicing, and still learn something new with make up every season. Check out any make up company web sites, a lot of them like MAC have great tutorials, and it fun to practice with the fresh styles, and you don't have to buy their expensive stuff, just to use there methods. As for the rest, I get a lot of ideas on ways to put outfits together by using on line catalogs. Thats also a place to learn sizing.
Slow down and enjoy it, otherwise whats the point.
Welcome to the club.
Tina B.

Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

[Cari]

Dont try to eat the elephant in one bite ; set smaller realistic goals.
A degree isnt pass one test ; it was a series of classes in a variety of subjects that built on each oher.
I wonder if there was a curriculum for this what it would look like.

here are some of the smaller goals I set for myself so I would feel progress.

Assemble one complete outfit.
Learn to apply lipliner without touchups.
apply mascara without having to clean the bridge of my nose.
Walk ten steps in heels out and back gracefully.

Using smaller goals helped me because I saw progress I used video and still images to compare.
I found it also kept me more focussed, things like makeup are huge topics and its kinda easy to wonder around and get lost.
Things like walking in heels lead to heading up and down stairs ect so it never really ends.

It is allot to learn but skills do build on each other and it gets easier.

[docrobbysherry]

Hi Melissa, don't get too stressedout. I was talking to a couple of GG friends this morning about how much I have to learn and they reminded me that they have had a whole lifetime to learn and still don't always get things right.
The best thing you can do at the moment is take it easy, enjoy whatever makes you feel good and just pick up hints fromhere and there. Don't forget either that there is a Beauty Club board here to ask questions and get some good advice.


Charles Anders wrote the book "The Lazy Crossdresser" and he suggested reading women's magazines that are directed at teenagers like Seventeen because that is where many of us are at in our approaches to femininity even though we've long past our teenage years.

Speak for yourself, Jacky! As a guy, I'm over 60. :sad:
But, as a CD, I'm barely a teenager!:eek:
And, I'm looking FORWARD to those "mature" later teen years!:D

[Miranda09]

Just take your time Melissa. You'r likely to go thru many outfits before finding your style and as for the makeup....practice, practice, practice. Also, don't over analyze why the urges sometime dominate then subside. Just go with the flow. When the urge strikes you, indulge, have fun, and take LOTS of pics!!! When it fades, set it aside for a while and do something else. Enjoy both sides of life. :)

[juno]

Melissa,
It is easy to be smart in school, but struggle with artistic tasks. Men are more left-brain dominant than women, and the left is more logically oriented. The right side of the brain is more artistic and emotional, and is often better utilized in women. The key is to stop thinking so hard logically, and relax so that you can get in better touch with the recessive right side. It will help you with better overall mental balance.

I have no idea how applicable this is to the average person, but it fits me.

Also, when you get into a new field, it is always easy to feel dumb. Many smart undergrads struggle with being average in the context of graduate school. Don't let yourself feel stupid. It's just something completely new. If you could take a class on crossdressing, it would probably be easy. Instead, people get stuck with a lot of trial and error because it is difficult to meet other CDs to share ideas. So, the best we have is an online forum like this.

[Stephanie Miller]

You’re going to hurry so fast to catch up Melissa, that you will miss all the fun of what is “today”.
Pick up a magazine next month and it will have a new make-up technique. Then in the same article it is going to tell you the one you just learned last month is passé’ . You may practice like the dickens in January to find out in July everything you practiced looks like crap when you have a tan. (Yep, back to the drawing board) Imagine what a bore it would be to know the fashions of yesterday are still in vogue, and you really don’t need to “update” your wardrobe. Cripes, half the fun is in the buying! Let’s not get started with hairstyles. I would hate to venture a guess how many gals on this site own just one wig.
All that to say… take your time and enjoy experimenting with a new you every day.

Have you ever seen a woman enter a shop and ask for "something just like the one I'm wearing"?––Christian Dior, on what sustains fashion

[Amelia08]

I know the feeling. I am in pretty much the same position. Not really knowing why you like dressing but you do it anyway. My goal right now is to just feel comfortable with myself in whatever i choose to wear. You will know when your ready to tell someone else. small steps and you will be fine. and if you do any shopping hit the thrift store. no need to pay for a bunch of new things if you dont even know if they will fit or what you want exactly

[Schatten Lupus]

GG's get a mother and peers and many years to learn such things. This is also the reason there are many rescources available to help learn these things. www.tsroadmap.com has some good starting points.
And alot of people their male side and female side have different fashion expressions, and some of us the expression carries over. Just take your time, learn about yourself first, and then learn what clothing and make-up you want. And be ready to spend money on stuff that you think "hey that looks awesome!" only to find out you absolutely detest the way it looks on you.

[Cari]

Fashion does change and looks do become passe.
But there are a certain set of skills, like a good pair of black pumps that never go out of style.
Women have been wearing the same basic makeup items for years; products and colors change but the basic skills like applying mascara remain the same.

When I first got a copy of a womens magazine I thought I was learning a foreign language :-) so many new terms I needed a whole new vocabulary.
Before beauty magazines I would reccomend Kevyn Aucoins "making Faces" and adding a good fashion glossary to your internet favorites.
I was and still am to a point overwhelmed by just the fabric choices available for women, let alone the cuts and styles.
I had no idea I had a crease on my eye or hollows in my cheeks it is very easy to be overwhelmed; fortunately there are lots of good resources out there.

In my case it really felt good to have success with some of the tasks; I worked hard at it but it was worth it definately one of the benfits of CD'ing you learn allot about yourself.

[Sarah Doepner]

Melissa,
Maybe this will help.

There will be a quiz on makeup next Friday and a 10 page paper due at the end of the term on the "Rise and Fall of the hemline".

No, not really. Like everyone else says, go at your own pace, chew your food slowly and don't be afraid to fail occasionally. In fact, don't worry if you fail most of the time because there is so much to learn and so much we can't change about the raw materials we are given. They just don't match our expectations, so we occasionally need to revisit our goals.

The only thing I ask is that you enjoy yourself.

[Cari]

Wow this sounds so familiar to me I keep popping in here.

On mistakes I read once that as long as you are making new mistakes you are making progress.
Its easy to see the mistake and take for granted the things that went right and improved.

[Melissa Jill]

=D thanks for your advice girls.
I bought a couple of things today. I went into a charity shop and had a bit of a look around. I had no idea of what would look good or bad on me though, so I just bought something I kind of liked the look of. I was absolutely terrified at first, but no one seemed to give me any odd looks or anything whilst I was browsing through the female clothes. Kind of stupid really, I had a whole explanation as to why I was shopping for female clothes forming in my mind, when the only question I was asked is if I would like a bag to put it in.
I am really proud of myself!

[Kelly DeWinter]

Coming in as a 22 year old man, knowing nothing about fashion, makeup, moisturisers, etc etc etc.
I am finding it all very overwhelming and I am struggling a lot to learn about it all.
I cruised through uni, getting a 2:1 (in Biomedical Sciences) whilst doing actually very little work for it. I guess Im just used to everything coming easy to me.
I think Im overthinking things too much, I am trying to jump right into the deep end thinking about everything such as shaving and makeup, when I don't even have any clothes yet.
It just feels like I am not progressing as quickly as I should or hoped to be.
Just bums me out a bit.
Sorry, I just had to vent a little, my lack of knowledge about all this is bringing me down, when really I should be enjoying this.

LOL, your post makes me smile, It reminds me of a friend of mine. He is a engineer at a nuclear power plant. He could explain in detail why a power plant is save, how power is generated, he even explained to me me in detail how they think the sun functions, but when I invited him on a bicycle trip he confessed that he tried and tried to ride a bike, but could'nt get the hang of it. So I spent a week with him for about an hour teaching him to ride. After a week he had the basics, within a month he was cruising with the pack.

Just practice a little each night.

Kelly

[t-girlxsophie]

im 45 and i still cut my face shaving,the same way I did when I was 8 and thought I needed a trim:doh: Very few here,if any got everything perfect when they started dressing,dont put too much pressure on yourself,so that you get anxious,because it wont be as much fun as it should be.I'm still learning and uncover new delights about my Crossdressing even now

Sophie