When you look at yourself in the mirror

[Naomi Rayne]

Yesterday i had a chance to dress which is something i dont normally have alot of time to do. And i was looking at myself in the mirror and thought something rather odd. That all in all i still look like myself.

The first thing that struck me weird about this thought is that who was i trying to look for? Was i expecting to see someone else after i had all the makeup on and clothes? Looking through the boy mode to girl mode threads quite often it is interesting to see the transformation from male to female.

Everyone sees things differently though. Because i see myself everyday as a male is that why i dont see a major change when i put the makeup on? Do other people think the same thing when they see themselves with makeup? But think wow look at that transformation when they see others? Its an interesting thing. So i was wondering what everyone elses thoughts are on that.

When you put makeup and wigs and all this stuff on and look in the mirror are u staring at someone completely different that ur guy self is almost unrecognizable? or are you simply staring at yourself?

[AnnaCalliope]

I'd say yes and no. When I look in the mirror after the complete transformation, I see a very sexy, feminine version of myself. The hair, the make-up, the outfit, all compliment each other into the idea that "Hey, I could actually pass for female on the street".

Of course, there are certain things underneath it all that I'm still incredibly self-conscious about. Like no matter how much foundation, powder, etc. I put on, I can still seen a faint line of facial hair around my chin, and the few blemishes on my cheek. Or the fact that my butt doesn't look real enough because its padded. I worry about these things because I know they are there.

But the funny thing is, most people who are looking at you, don't see them. If you are at least semi-passable, most people just see a girl with broad shoulders and a small butt. They don't see the blemishes, the shadow of facial hair etc. because they aren't looking for it, at least until you get read.

[Kate Simmons]

Myself is myself in either mode Lola. There is just a different "spin" on it.:)

[Kathi Lake]

It's me - but prettier.

:)

Kathi

[kristinacd55]

Good post Lola. I wonder who I'm looking at all the time! :)

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I look into the mirror I enter another world, a parallel universe in which I exist as female. Without the mirror I see only others yet I exist, as a female. If I look very closely I see a flaw in my skin and out comes the concealer. I see myself male or female but I feel like I am truer as a person existing without lying to myself. I just hide a very prescious thing from others and that is my other part who resides in another universe accessed by my mirror where I am free to be me.

[Stephanie Anne]

I look in the mirror to make sure I don't jab myself in the eye with a wand. Of course I always look in the mirror to fix my hair. How I wish it would grow to the length I want now and not have to wait another 6 months!

I will say that about 6 months after starting hrt and living full time, I actually started crying seeing myself for who I always was for the first time. there is nothing like the shock of seeing a beautiful woman on the other side of the mirror.

[Annie D]

I see myself. Sometimes during a quiet moment I wonder why I masquerade as a male and ask myself if I could truly be Annie 24/7. I continuously come to the conclusion that I should be myself, Annie, all the time and quit trying to fool everyone. It is only because I fear hurting my wife and perhaps causing embarrassment to my family that I refrain. I enjoy seeing myself in the mirror, not in an erotic way, but as the person I want to be. It is because I have come to this realization that I am able to boldly go out in public and really enjoy myself.

[Chiana]

Much earlier in my CDing days, when I got through with the all of the prep, I would be amazed at the person straring back at me in the mirror. I saw a different person. Over the years, I have become more accustomed to that face so it isn't a big shock anymore. But the funny part is that I don't see the drab version of me when I look in the mirror. When I am dressed now, the person in the mirror actually seems smaller that the guy version. Not to mention better looking. But certainly not the same person.

[docrobbysherry]

Gross! Why would I want to see a homely old man in a dress in my mirror!? I USED to see that when I started dressing! Yuck!

I want to see a unknown, pretty, young woman there! And now, I usually do!

[Fab Karen]

< facetious mode > Before the make-up & everything I look like Hans Melman of the Simpsons show. < /facetious mode >

[sissystephanie]

When my late wife did my makeup and fixed my wig, I could look in the mirror and see a rather pretty lady!! Nowadays, since I don't wear any makeup or a wig, I see a man wearing feminine clothes!! But I accept that, and don't care! I love to wear feminine clothing, so I do!!

[Dannigirl]

Never really thought of it. I am mostly just looking to see if I still have a 5 o'clock shadow after applying 9 coats of latex paint and shaving 17 layers of skin off my face ! :) But one thing I have noticed............. when I am dressed in anything femme without makeup, be it just my bra and panties, chemise, dress, whatever, when I look down, I see the body and shape of a female. Sexy shaved legs, painted toes, breasts........ but then I look up in the mirror and bammmm the illusion is shattered and there is a hairy beast in lingerie staring back at me :)

[Miranda09]

When I look into the mirror, after I put everything together, I only see fragment of my male self. The general image is, of course, me, but a softer, more feminine version. :)

[bridgetta]

Were all addicted to this idea that female clothing has magical properties that can change reality. That is Actually magically turn one into a woman ,But it cant. That is the irony which makes it ok for a straight guy to plsy with illusion. Its fun to create what one is attracted to.

[juno]

I think that looking in the mirror and seeing yourself and a woman at the same time is what crossdressing is all about. Some parts of your brain are female. When you see your female self, that part of your brain is thankful for being allowed to show herself. The male part of your brain can either get freaked out or enjoy it.

As time goes by, I see someone that is more passable, but I don't know hoe much of it is improved looks, versus how much of it is a change in my judgment. Either way, I think pleasing yourself in the mirror is more important than how you look to others.

[Terraforming]

Lately, I see myself as being less feminine when I dress up and go all out. My normal every day appearance is seeming to be closer to the ideal image that I'm going for, which is kind of odd. While dressing up is fun, sometimes I look in the mirror and see something a little too over the top for my personality.

[windycissy]

What a great thread, reading the responses it's a bit like a Rohrshak test for all of us...I was especially moved by Tania's eloquent response. For me, once I have my wig and makeup on, with a hairless body in a padded bra and panties, I see a woman, not beautiful perhaps but pretty, and the resemblance to my sainted mother is undeniable.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I see a girl version of myself, but I also see my sister. We look alot alike.

[NicoleScott]

Maybe that's why I go over-the-top when I make up and dress. I want to see something very different than the guy me in a dress with minimal makeup. And I love to watch that transformation in the mirror as it happens.

[Kaz]

I look in the mirror at the male me and I see nothing I like. I see an ageing has been who never really achieved his potential, and has left it too late.

I put on my make-up etc... and I become a butterfly... limited lifespan, but such potential... I am transformed into another world... it feels so good.. and despite having problems with the sheer quantity of make-up involved to infill all the creaking seams that are my face, I am happy.

I feel good and at one with things... I can finally express me, rather than living the day to day drabness and boredom of being a male in the 21st century.

[Sarah Doepner]

I see potential to improve. Lots and lots of potential for the old guy.

[MichelleP]

I see like a twin sister who is prettier and softer than her brother... the troll.

[Kassey]

When I see myself in the mirror it is not me, I mean not the daily me that is compelled by duty and responsibility. My wife likes the other me, which is not me if you follow and gives me a lot of compliments which are just so amazing. Kassey is different, loves fun, dancing and shopping which is not me...... confused, welcome on board.

[Soriya]

This is the #1 reason I dress now because I don't see my male self at all. I often stare for a while because it baffle me. I thought it was just me but I have shown a few people I know my pics including my mother and even she was shocked. She even said she if someone else had shown her the pics she would have never guessed it's me.

Even more shocking is a cam. I turned mine on one day and was watching myself in it while I typed, made facial expressions, browse the net, etc. etc. and the separation from my male self was much greater then in the mirror. Even though it is me, in the cam, it's not me. Everything looks different and truly does look like someone I am chatting with rather then seeing myself. It's fascinating.

That's a shot from the cam in my avatar.

[Kaz]

This is interesting... I certainly see me as Kaz more than my male mode, and I equate with that image more...

[sometimes_miss]

Gross! Why would I want to see a homely old man in a dress in my mirror!?

Exactly. There's no way my real image matches who I thought I was supposed to be, or who I would like to be. Me, I avoid mirrors as much as I can. I can still see and feel the hair, the clothes, jewelry, nail polish, shoes, etc..

[ninapuella]

I see a girl and i look very different, i almost cant belive it myself. Its a fantastic feeling to see the change and i feel very comfortable with it. Its not only about the clothes, the makeup and the wig its also about the expression from the face and body. The thing that i have noticed is that less makeup is better, it is giving a more natural look. But i havent found the perfect natural look yet. When i do i will go out and celebrate. :wine:

[lari]

I see the real me

[Vale]

When I see myself dressed up in the mirror it is certainly me, but seen from a different perspective than usual. I recall a concept that went something like “We are all multi-dimensional luminous beings that rarely see more than one dimension of ourselves or others around us.” Maybe CDing helps us see other dimensions of ourselves a little more easily.

The concept may be from Carlos Casteneda but I’m not sure. Sorry about the weak memory.

[Rachel Morley]

When you put makeup and wigs and all this stuff on and look in the mirror are u staring at someone completely different that ur guy self is almost unrecognizable? or are you simply staring at yourself?
This quote is very pertinent for me just lately as almost all of my 6 or so years of dressing (seriously and properly) I have always seen not someone completely different but a prettier, younger, "girl version of myself". Kinda like I perceive myself to have been had I been born a girl. Yet a couple of weeks ago I dressed to go out to a party and all I saw in the mirror was my boy face in a wig and a dress and heels! :eek:

It was quite alarming and mega depressing for me. I know that we all feel different sometimes, you know we think we look prettier or thinner or sexier or whatever, and this does happen to me but I always "see the girl" and not the boy. Consequently I had a horrible time that night as I felt like a dude :sad:

Thankfully, the last time I dressed which was Monday night, I added a little more makeup and somehow (miraculously?) "the girl came back" :whew!: :c9:

It's weird how our mind plays tricks on us, don't you think? That's the long answer to your short question ..... the short answer is I don't see the boy. :)

[cdona20]

I am a huge narcissist so I think I look good en femme. I don't see my boy form. People who know me can see me in my pictures, but that is because I use my natural hair and many of my pretty boy features transfer over to the girl me. Plus I only do like 10 minutes worth of makeup so my transformation isn't as big as it is for others out there.

[MonicaTC]

I'd say you are still staring at yourself, but with an external expression of the inner self. We can change out outward appearance, but we can't change our minds/brain/thoughts. Would say it's a matter of realizing that we truly have the feminine within our thoughts even when we aren't "dressed".

Monica

[t-girlxsophie]

I had a lot of confidence issues when I looked in the mirror and saw my male self in a wig looking back at me,I have since realised that I am just me,whatever i am wearing be happy about yourself as a human being whatever vision looks back at you

[JulieC]

Years ago, I took photos of myself en femme for the first time, It was really bizarre to me to see me, but see a woman...especially if I didn't include my face. It took a long time to wrap my brain around that.

Fast forward a few years.

My journey in life has taken me to a point where I realize that on the gender scale, I'm something inbetween. Probably more male than female, but definitely NOT on either end of the spectrum. I've also come to a realization that I'm not a split personality. I am me. My sense of self definition isn't that I'm both man and woman. I'm neither. I'm inbetween, and that's me. For a long time I refused to have a 'femme' name because I rejected the idea of boxing up aspects of me and conveniently labeling it, as if it could be locked up and put away, or thought of as separate.

With that sense of self, I don't look in a mirror and end up seeing either a "male" with the accoutrements of a "female", or anything else. I see me, expressing different aspects of me depending on what I'm doing, wearing, feeling that day. If I'm wearing a tuxedo, ready to be a groomsman, I see me that way. If I'm dressed in jeans and a lined flannel shirt, ready to lock and load, I don't see some alter persona from the tuxedo wearing guy,. Similarly, if I'm dressed in a beautiful dress, etc. I don't see some alter persona. I see me. I'm expressing myself differently, but it's no different than the difference between tuxedo and flannel modes.

[Deanna B]

hi . i am not that good looking in the first place as a male . it gets a little better as a female i hope it will get better when i get better at makeup . when i see the picture
on the side you look like ladys i hope i can get a bit closer . love deanna :love:

[StarrOfDelite]

At this time of year, when I look in the mirror I see a person who, irrespective of gender, overindulged during the holidays and needs to shed ten pounds by working out at the gym and standing in the low-carb diet line in the cafeteria. Sigh!

In response to the thread, I have reached the stage where I look in the mirror when I'm not dressed and madeup, and see an androgynous person who can go either direction. That may be self-delusion, of course.

[Natalee]

I do see myself. My face is very much man; and I have no hair (or wig, (yet?)). But my body is very slender, and looks damn good in a skirt, dress and heels.

Not so sure I'll ever go out on the town.. But I typically throw on a sweats before fetching the mail.