Fab GG anomymous question

[Di]

Ladies I have a question one of our GG's would like to ask,Thank you in advance.

Most cders say I love women and I am not gay yet they post pics and alot of them are always trying to be seductive with puckers, touching themselves and gesters plus say things like kiss kiss..yet do they not realize its men looking at their pics that they are coming onto ?
I just do not get it.
Enlighten me please.

[seanmuscle]

I am not complaining. Some Cds can be more beautiful than genetic girls. They are just doing feminine girly poses.

[JackieInPA]

Don't know about others but I personally dont look at my MtF tg friends as men. To me they are women. Also i think a lot of us are trying to emulate women...or at least how we percieve them. So saying things a woman would say even though its actually to a 'male in body' we are talking to women in spirit.

[Di]

Don't know about others but I personally dont look at my MtF tg friends as men. To me they are women. Also i think a lot of us are trying to emulate women...or at least how we percieve them. So saying things a woman would say even though its actually to a 'male in body' we are talking to women in spirit.

Fab GG anomymous answer..
So you are saying they are all women looking at women seductivly ? And answering, replying as woman, Nah thats not how it looks to me. By looking at the posts and replys nah.

[RebeccaLynne]

Di, your anonymous GG friend has posed an interesting question.

I've posted only my avatar pic, to show myself as a bonafide CD. The only gender I'm sexually attracted to is female.

I'm here for the sole purpose of interacting with others in the shared pursuit of our common interest in wearing feminine clothing and makeup as an enjoyable way to relax. :)

[DAVIDA]

Hi Di!
Speaking only for myself, it is about the clothes for me.
I am not trying to look good for anyone. I do like to look nice though.:thumbsup:
Personally, when I see someones picture that is along the provocative lines, I really don't care to see such things.
I am not trying to attract anyone. I am perfectly satisfied with Jean.:D
I guess that you can look at my picture and see that.:heehee:
I post my picture so people can see who I am. I am not hiding anything.:)

BTW, I very seldom go into the pictures forum.

[Elizabeth Ann]

Actually, I would like to reject the original premise. When I look at the postings in the pictures forum, I see all types of poses. Most of them do not seem provocative to me at all. There are, of course, some very sexy poses, but most of them seem to me to be attempting to look as natural as possible. Perhaps the FAB GG could be a bit more specific about what photos she is looking at.
And, please, I hope she could feel comfortable with posing the question directly to us. I think most of us are mature enough not to shoot the messenger.

Regards,
Liz

[2B Natasha]

As a died in the wool card carrying member of the crossdresser bridgade. I have no idea why some post them. I like the fab gg do not believe they are not posting these pictures not for the benifit and result of erotic results in men. I would go so far to say they are a bit of auto erotica.

For myself it is the same with all the pictures showing stocking tops or panty hose control panels. What lady goes around looking like that? None that I know.

[Carroll]

Reply:
I don't get it either, but that's just me.

[msniki48]

Great question Di!

I read that for many TG girls...[and remember many of the cross dressers in here are not necassarily TG] there is actually a process of growing up as some girls will start as little girls [ outfits] and progress to pretty sensual and sometimes sexual girls, then on to women then ...my stage... old Farts! lol

it could be that progression?!?! Also with CD'ers that are doing it for sexual pleasure...they are looking at themselves as sexual women but through a man's eyes. [ their eyes] I can see how that can happen.

me....i'm just the girl next door, never thought i could be sexy as a woman...just feminine in my thoughts, feelings and jestures and it helps "me" to actually see "her" there instead of "him." thus the clothing and transformation

feel free to see my pics

just my humble opinion

hugs

msniki48

[Barbara Dugan]

I don't know if you are asking to only straight cders. Sometimes I ask myself the same question ,but in my case I am all the contrary I love men and I am gay...some people say that some of my pics are seductive but since I am not attracted to any form of femininity I still don't get it. I have to admit that when I get the compliment of a guy I get some personal form of validation.

[Stephanie Miller]

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when our faces do deceive.
Well GG anonymous, I think if you were to check it out quite a few of the girls on here are Bi, and yes, more than likely are trying to look seductive to males. On the other hand there are others, like myself, who would only get caught puckering for their S.O.’s or other GG’s. (No, I’m not talking about husbands puckering for other GG’s etc. Hope you get what I mean)
Of course there are those CD’s that while they understand they are not bi, still feel the need to fully emulate a GG in as many ways as possible without crossing that imaginary line.
Now, with that said.. I think I understand why there might be feelings for a CD to pucker to a female. Some of us feel as though we are lesbians trapped in a male body. We can’t/shouldn’t feel the need to attract males. Due to brainwashing by society or to a chemical imbalance that might be fixed when taking hormones? Another discussion.
Here’s a question to ponder on your end…… Why do females who are married, or otherwise not on the “market” for a man, still enjoy wearing provocative clothes, tease and so forth. Because it gives them validity to their “femaleness”?

Hope that helps.
:kiss: (sorry, couldn't help it)

[Di]

I hope she could feel comfortable with posing the question directly to us. I think most of us are mature enough not to shoot the messenger.

Regards,
Liz

Thanks Liz but she wants to not out herself but will say she has not known for too long and found pics her S O has posted that upset her just wanted to get others take on the why of it.

I told her I thought it was maybe because
They feel very sexy dressed like that and its a turn on to be noticed and accepted as a woman.
Or maybe its the way they would like to see women .

[Elizabeth Ann]

Thanks Liz but she wants to not out herself but will say she has not known for too long and found pics her S O has posted that upset her just wanted to get others take on the why of it.

I told her I thought it was maybe because
They feel very sexy dressed like that and its a turn on to be noticed and accepted as a woman.
Or maybe its the way they would like to see women .

Sorry, I didn't know her situation. I think your response is quite valid. I think very few consider this forum a dating service, so when we send photos off into the cloud, I really think it is for our own gratification, rather than to attract the attention of some unknown man (or woman) that we will never meet in person.

Liz

[SweetPea_GG]

Why do females who are married, or otherwise not on the “market” for a man, still enjoy wearing provocative clothes, tease and so forth. Because it gives them validity to their “femaleness”?


Ill try to answer this question atleast from my POV.. I think when a female who is not on the "market" who try to dress provoctive etc and tease etc do it not to validate their "femaleness" but it because they are lacking some selfworth of who they are and are searching for it in others when selfworth can only be found by that person inside themselves.. no one else can give it to them.. sure they can make them feel good for a short period of time but its like a tempory high.

I think once you have found your own self worth you are comfortable with who you are you no longer feel the desire to dress or tease for attention from others to get validation. You then dress for yourself and no one else. (well and ofcourse for your SO who you want to look good for from time to time lol)

[Jill Devine]

There is no fixed answer because we are all different. Just because we fall under a broad category of CD or TG doesn't mean we all think alike. Doesn't mean we all have the same intentions. Just as all GGs are different, so are the many CDs different.

For me, I like the transformation fantasy and challenging physical limitations. It's an escape. I don't try and sex up my pics or poses too much but that's just me. The thought of a male getting turned on by me grosses me out. But that's me. There are many gay and bi girls here who would be the opposite to me.
We are all unique and I respect that.

[Lucy_Bella]

Not sure if I ever posted a seductive Avater but, ....I can try and answer ( notice I have no pic )... I was in a thread when the subject came up that maybe my pic was the reason I was attracting men on a TG dateing site and was suggested I should change it if it was..
Now I am not a GG ( obviously) so in all honesty I had no clue what dressing signals send out or how proper dressing codes are for GG's. So until it was brought to my attention ,I really didn't truley know . Now please try not to take what I said out of context because I do not need to be told something I already know I am not any where near all that and do not want to be ..My point is how are some of us to know when we are mearly men trying to emulate women?
Thanks for the question very well thought out and a learning curb for some of us :)

[docrobbysherry]

And, I may have a difficult time explaining this to a GG.


Great question Di!
------it could be that progression?!?! Also with CD'ers that are doing it for sexual pleasure...they are looking at themselves as sexual women but through a man's eyes. [ their eyes] I can see how that can happen.-------
just my humble opinion

hugs
msniki48

Men, they say, r visually stimulated. So, when I see what appears to be a hot young woman in my mirror, I'm stimulated!:D ( Remember, I'm nearsighted!):brolleyes:
Maybe some GGs can understand THAT. (This NEXT part may be challenging to comprehend, tho.)
First, I see a strange woman. Then, I'm reminded that that pretty she, is really ME! (Even MORE stimulation!):heehee:



-----For me, I like the transformation fantasy and challenging physical limitations. It's an escape. I don't try and sex up my pics or poses too much but that's just me. The thought of a male getting turned on by me grosses me out. But that's me. ----

The point Jill makes is VERY important for me! Maybe others, too. The fantasy of looking like a completely different person and, of the opposite sex, is VERY exciting for me!:thumbsup:

When other folks validate how I look, I like it! I would PREFER to receive that validation from GGs. Unfortunately tho, the sites I'm able to post Sherry's pics on seem to be populated MOSTLY by CDs, men, or a combo there of! Lol!

[Fab Karen]

Assuming you meant to say "F.A.B."

Oh and btw, an equal time announcement: I'm not heterosexual. ( pan, if you're really curious )

[sissystephanie]

Di, the lady asked a very good question. My answer may not be the same as others, but it does come from my heart.

I am probably one of the older CD's on this forum. I am currently 78 y/o and have been crossdressing more or less since age 6 or 7. I dress enfemme only because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing. I have never had any desire to be a woman, only to dress like one. As you probably know, I am now a widower who was married to the same woman for almost 50 years. She knew I was a CD before we married and accepted me and supported me. I do love people of the true feminine persuasion, and certainly do look at them often. After all this time I still don't have any feminine gestures! At least if I do, no one has ever told me so! Those who know that I dress respect my choices, and know that I will never do anything to hurt them in any way. I am a man, no matter what clothes I am wearing, and proud of it!!!

[CamilleLeon]

Yo I've got some super sexy pics yall should check out...no homo!

[lavistaa62]

I think the answer to FAB GG could only be answered by the person posting the picture. I too don't get a lot of the provocative wear of CD pictures; similarly I don't get the provocative postings of GG (check out flickr or many other sites); however each to their own and who am I to judge. If I were to hazard a guess; it's whatever causes exhibitionist tendencies. I'm not a psychologist so my opinion can't offer any further insight. Perhaps some non-confrontational talking with her SO might reveal the specific circumstances and open a dialogue for her to further understand.

[LoriFlores]

Well, when I pose I am in full girl mode which means I'm interested in atracting the oposite sex, which would be males. As I move forward in transitioning and am further influenced by HRT I can only believe that I will be further atracted to men. Estogen = atraction to men.

[Christy_M]

100% hetero and when I post pics, I want to be seen as an attractive woman. I know it isn't so and I don't want a man to be attracted to me but I do want to be attractive. I go to great lengths to pretty myself up and I want everyone to see the results. I would guess that most people think they have done a great job with their appearance, too and want the world to see the fruits of their labor. That is just my opinion becasue that is how I feel.

[KristaE]

Ok, here's my :2c: worth...

First, there is a difference between being attractive and trying to attract, wouldn't you say? That is why it is perfectly acceptable for a married woman who has no intention of stepping out on her man to make her self attractive to go to work or the store or wherever, without her husband. She isn't secretly wishing to attract another man, she just wants to present herself as an attractive woman. There is a benefit to one's self in being attractive and it isn't in the act of attracting. I'll bring this back later.

Second, if you were a photographer taking pictures of a woman and you could only pick one of the pictures to go into a magazine/yearbook/whatever, wouldn't you want to choose the picture that you felt put the woman in the best light possible? For a straight CDer acting as photographer and subject, you are judging yourself according to some internal measuring stick of how you perceive yourself. A CDer wants to be seen as an attractive woman (not to attract, but to be attractive... like the married woman going to the store/work/etc...).

So a CDer who chooses a "provocative" pose may have chosen that pose because that is the pose that they felt represented the most attractive version of their self.

Or viewed another way, you could say that they are trying to "attract" (for lack of a better word) a male... themselves. Just as a GG might get dolled up to feel good about herself. I dress to feel good, so I'm going to pick the picture that exemplifies what I view as the best aspects of being en femme.

[Marissa]

Yo I've got some super sexy pics yall should check out...no homo!

Careful, hon, you might offend one with that termilogy.. "no homosexual" would be okay to most folks..

Okay, I read most of the replies and I can understand the GG not actually posting the question herself.. so see if I can get this right.. someone hit on it a bit.. gay versus bi.. I would use the word 'most' but that could be wrong.. If one is transitioning.. its normally a given that they are attracted to only men..so until..the genetics change, they are gay. That is meant 'man with man only'. Now there are those who are transitioning that are only attracted to women and well end up being lesbians.. and still others are attracted to both sexes.. so bi.

For some of us that dress, we are not exclusive to being attracted to men.. yet predominately women..but as soon as we crave or taste man..(even if she is a cd or ts) then we are bi...

Okay, now if the GG who orginated this was looking at the area of forums that she has access to.. knowing that it was mentioned she was talking about her SO, she would have seen mostly tasteful pics...even if a 'girl' was blowing a kiss.. puckering..or bending to show cleavage.. its not for men..then again..some may want to be critique by other girls to see how they would be viewed by men.

Which brings up my thoughts on members here... men as members does not cross my mind..I have only seen a handfull (not counting FtM)...and a few were quickly removed due to being somewhat predators..

So any pic i would post, is for all to just see me.. even if i'm trying to be a silly girl, but I would be lying if I wasn't posing for another cd/ts/gg to say that I make a sexy girl.. but I have never posted here or anywhere else to attract men... well straight men that is.. then again, if they desire me, they are not straight :D

I hope the GG discusses this with her SO if she knows or believes that 'she' is trying to attract men..

I feel for her delima and hope all works out for the best.. wow.. I got through this one..NEXT!!!! ;)

Hugs,
Marissa

[Cari]

This is just my opinion however when I first started taking pics I took my cues from the models in the fashion magazines and Ill admit it Playboy.
I was bound to get a certain look, Im flipping thru glamour and many of the ads fall into the category of seductive.
I found other sources for posing tips and my pictures tamed down a bit, these days I usually use pics where Im out with friends.

To be honest it never occurred to me that I could create a photo that would turn a guy on, I was just trying to find my inner woman and document allot work.
After a few uncomfortable e-mails, I changed my poses and expressions. I still occasionally get very uncomfortable e-mails but not as often.
BTW in person Im physically large enough that it isnt an issue but I have fooled a camera or two.

Saying or typing things like Kiss,kiss,kiss I feel get in there because they are so feminine.
Men dont even use the word cute often, so sprinkling in a few overly feminine expressions is one way to create the illusion.
I was never comfortable doing it, but do say cute and top allot more these days.
I think its just done as an concious effort to appear feminine; not to pick up men.
The ironic thing is that I seriously doubt any women my age are signing off texts to each other with Kiss,Kiss,kiss.

I think our perception of the sexes also plays in, Ive seen drag Kings or FTM's emulate actions that just make me wonder why.
Out of all the masculine traits why would you choose spitting as an example.

As CD's I think we have a very different view of what it is to be feminine and dont always make the best choices on which traits to emulate.
Support groups are great for that and I have had several SO's help me allot and I have been gratefull for that help.

[Rianna Humble]

Most cders say I love women and I am not gay yet they post pics and alot of them are always trying to be seductive with puckers, touching themselves and gesters plus say things like kiss kiss..yet do they not realize its men looking at their pics that they are coming onto ?

I think that there is a lot to the argument that those CD'ers are mainly emulating the look that they have seen attractive women use in magazines. There are definitely some members here who have posted pictures like that and are totally faithful to their wife, but in those instances the wife was encouraging them in the look.

I think it is entirely possible that a number of those who post the "sexy" pictures do not think of it as sharing them with men since we all refer to each other here by the gender that we present and on the forums MtF cross-dressers will present as female.

There are also CD'ers who dress for the sexual thrill and I would expect them to show more overtly sexy photos, but even then - as several posters have already said - they are often doing it more to attract themselves than other men.

I do not use the term "kiss kiss" but know that several of my GG friends use either the X's or terms like "mwah" when they write to me even though they are not looking for any kind of sexual relationship with me. In fact, I originally adopted the signoff "luv" specifically for those friends.

I don't have the answers, but hope that something in my ramblings proves helpful to the questioner.

[sarahNZ]

from my POV.. I think when a female who is not on the "market" who try to dress provoctive etc and tease etc do it not to validate their "femaleness" but it because they are lacking some selfworth of who they are and are searching for it in others when selfworth can only be found by that person inside themselves.. no one else can give it to them.. sure they can make them feel good for a short period of time but its like a tempory high.

I think once you have found your own self worth you are comfortable with who you are you no longer feel the desire to dress or tease for attention from others to get validation.



Why can a woman not just look good and dress to impress purely because she is comfortable in her own skin?, why does there have to be an underlying "read between the lines" with every thing a woman does? (I don't get it)

But to the question at hand...

I have posted a few photos in my time and some are more sexy than others. My answer is simply that the photos I post are of me in fem mode (some times I do feel like being sexy some times I don't) most of my sexy photos stay safely in my computer hard drive, but the reason for any photo is to capture "the moment" so I can look back upon them one day and say to my self "ya know... I looked ok!" Yes I know that the "onlookers" are a mix of GG and TG and yes some are men, if they or you look upon my photos and say "not bad Sarah" then I am happy, job well done (this time anyway) there is no underlying "trying to attract anyone issue" (my words not yours) that come with it. If people like my photos then I am flattered but they are more for my benefit than yours, I like to look back on them and say to myself that I got it right... hair, makeup, clothes, semi flattering pose etc. I like what I see, that is what matters.

For the record I am a male by birth and only look at women as a potential partner.

hope that helps but that is just my opinion.

[Kate Simmons]

Many get into the "spirit" of what they may think it's like to be a woman, i.e. flirting, provocative poses, etc. but if a guy actually hit on them for doing that, they would not know what to do. This is one of the "two-edged swords" for acting this way.:)

[Loni]

maybe it is time for the mods to censer some of the photos you talk about?

as for me i love to dress and work at looking like a real woman. not a man in a dress. i do not do photos, so i have not done anything like a sexy pose...for anybody's use not even mine.
some are more into the sex part then just dressing up. maybe this is how they let loose? i say as long as the said photos are in proper taste were is the problem?
i do not look at a skirt and think is it a man or a woman.nor do i get "turned-on" by looking at said.
i love seeing a pretty woman. some times i wish i could get into her jeans/skirt/dress/etc....but i will return them latter..ha.ha.ha.

to each there own, but maybe some other guide lines for the photos to keep it clean for your friend?

maybe i should look into the photo section...were is it at?

.

.

[Sarasometimes]

Well first of all without specifics we are all guessing as to who and what poses she is looking at. Secondly, although this is called Crossdressers Forum there are all variations here posting on all subjects. I have no doubt that I am only attracted to GG's/FAB's. There is sexual preference, gender identity and gender expression. All the variations of these are found here. If a GG posted such a pick would we presume she wants one of us to email her for a date? Statistically most men who simlpy crossdress that don't have any dsire to transition are heterosexual but there are al types. I also think that the majority of gay males don't crossdress. I apologize for generalizing but I'm doing it for illustration purposes. Also how would a CD look all dolled up doing a pose showing off a nice firm bicept? Not very ladylike or girly!

[Emily Ann Brown]

Where were the pictures posed? Posed to a site like ours I would think it could be a form of male one up...I look hotter than you. Posted on a public site or dating site is different of course.

Somebody one time said we dress as the woman we are attracted to. If your are straight maybe you get a LITTLE turned on by seeing yourself looking hot.

Years back I enjoyed the looks I get when pumping gas. I don't want a guy. It was like a meter of how good I was doing in looking like a woman, if men who had no clue enjoyed the view.

Em

[sarac]

I agree with the others that without seeing one of her pictures, you may be reading into it more then she wanted. I do on the other hand feel that there is a difference between taking pictures of yourself showing a fabulous woman and taking what is to be a sexy aluring photo. I think it would help if the girls that do take the " sexy " photos would coment on there feelings of how they like being pictured and if they are married as well. I have not yet posted my pictures here. I would like to say more as I am married also but very recently have become conflicted in my feelings and dont think I would have a right answer for your SO.
Thanks Sara

[Sarah Doepner]

For me it's all about the illusion. I know I'm male but I need to explore the female in myself and in order to do that I create a physical illusion. The better that image is at hiding the male, the less distraction I have in my attempt to understand my gender questions. It also makes it less likely that the gender questions will creep in and distract me once I'm comfortable with my feminine presentation. I don't think I use much in the way of cute talk in my postings, but I would guess that it's a similar effort on the part of those who do. Everything that can be done to push the male aspect away works to bring forth the female.

Honestly I'm rarely, if ever, taken for anything other than a guy wearing women's clothing. I really don't have to worry about sending the wrong message about my intentions or desires, but I understand, however unlikely that it could happen. If I were to post a photo that were alluring, my intent would be to illustrate my ability to control my appearance, not to attract anyone to my side. But that's just me. I would suggest our Anonymous GG try to find a way to discuss the question with her S.O.

[Kaz]

It is a great OP and the thread has caused me to think, which is I guess why a lot of us are here, despite the views of some..

Regarding the OP and her friend's SO's posts.. I cannot comment as I have no idea what they are like.

As has been saiud on numerous occasions, though we all share a unifying "bond", we are all different and have many different motivations and desires around this CD thing. There is no "one size fits all", and so I find it difficult to answer the OP.

Am I trying to pick up guys? If I was I wouldn't be here, I would be somewhere else... and I am not.

Am I trying to be seductive to other women? Why would any woman feel seduced by a guy in a dress? I don't get that.. although, yes, there are some GGs on this site who are attracted to some MTF CD folk. When people like me come across them I am so thrilled because I can discuss stuff openly, as i can with lots of guys here who share the same "affliction".. whatever we choose to call it.

So why on earth would I choose to show a picture of me looking vaguely feminine and enjoying it? Yeah... it's for me. It is me saying a little part of me wants a little existence for my CD side. If Kaz can exist in a virtual world, then she at leasts exists and this gives some affirmation of this side of me. Without it, I am just a pervert in a closet. So I post pics..

I accept that they may be offensive, but I only post them on sites that are dedicated to this genre, so don't think I can be accused of anything too indecent...

But I do take to OP's point... by posting pictures of ourselves, this can be offensive to others...

I will rethink my avatar... maybe it's time for something somewhat less offensive.

[Sarah Doepner]

I will rethink my avatar... maybe it's time for something somewhat less offensive.

Stop thinking. Your avatar is perfectly appropriate for posting here. If someone is offended by the sight of a crossdresser who is successfully creating a feminine appearance, they are in the wrong part of the Web. You look wonderful Kaz.

[NicoleScott]

I make up and dress in a style that pleases me. For all the times I transformed, many more were in private than for public outings. I am what I am and I like to take pics and share them. I also like to see pics of other cd's of all styles but particularly in the style I prefer for myself. Some people (cd's, gg's, men) like my pics and some don't. It's flattering to hear from those that do. I'm not trying to attract anyone for personal encounters, so it makes no difference to me if a guy gets turned on by my pics or puts them on his dart board. I won't know about it either way.

[Pythos]

In my case many of the poses I do are much like those that are done in WOMEN'S fashion magazines. You know, those magazines made for women to see different styles and so on. The women in these mags are in poses that are quite seductive.

I do not mind that men find my pics attractive, but at the same time I would far prefer having my pic page have having compliments from GGs.

Now that being said, I did take some heat when I commented on the poses and faces a member here posted. I did not think those poses or looks were very favorable to acceptance.

I have done once or twice the pursed lips pose....and dislike them. LOL

I asked a fellow member of flickr why it is we seem to love to present our hind quarters. I am not "presenting" as if I want a man to "do me". I personally find it silly how men are pretty much made to hide this aspect of their build. We men have rears, and if we take care of ourselves, quite attractive ones, or so I have been told by GGs. To be honest, I would love it if a GG would run her hands or finger tips along those areas, I would love that as much as I would hope she would love the same as me doing it for her.

For the GG that asked this question I have to ask. Why do women pose in seductive poses in magazines meant for women for the most part? Who are they trying to seduce?

I find the poses I do to be fun. I love to see how much in appearance I transform. It is only an example of how fragile and weak these male and female images truly are.

[JamieG]

I can't speak for anyone else, but I dress to please myself. I am 100% straight and monogamous. I take pictures so that I can capture my attempts to appear female and compare to previous progress. I like trying to put together outfits that are cute and look good on me. I take pride in the transformation and am constantly working to improve it. I post my pictures on this board because I like the way I look in them and want to share my happiness with others (and if I'm being honest, I'm probably looking for a little validation). Sometimes my pictures may seem a little sexy or flirtatious, but I am not trying to pick anyone up. I'm just emulating fashion models. I do not post pictures anywhere where ordinary men or tranny chasers are likely to see them.

[t-girlxsophie]

I couldnt be seductive if my life depended on it,i take pics that i hope look good,basically for myself that they may best represent me en femme (one day ill succeed lol) would it be better for others sensibilities,if we all put pics of us as a guy in a dress,scratching ourselves etc of course not,I think most on here post pics that we feel,best represent us en femme,I most certainly do,were not out to attract anyone.

As for ending posts with kisses,or terms of endearment,well women are more demonstrative,they hug each other or call each other hun etc.I end my posts with HUGS with no ulterior motives am just being nice

:hugs:Sophie

[Sarasometimes]

I can't speak for anyone else, but I dress to please myself. I am 100% straight and monogamous. I take pictures so that I can capture my attempts to appear female and compare to previous progress. I like trying to put together outfits that are cute and look good on me. I take pride in the transformation and am constantly working to improve it. I post my pictures on this board because I like the way I look in them and want to share my happiness with others (and if I'm being honest, I'm probably looking for a little validation). Sometimes my pictures may seem a little sexy or flirtatious, but I am not trying to pick anyone up. I'm just emulating fashion models. I do not post pictures anywhere where ordinary men or tranny chasers are likely to see them.

JamieG,
I see that you are from eastern Pa., are there any stores you frequent and can recommend? I agree with what you and some others have mentioned and that is the fact that photos in magazines marketed for women have similar poses. Also it is said that many women dress to impress other women, not men although that is who they are attracted to. How many macho men are going to compliment their wives on their outfit and shoes? Can't notice that stuff, I'm MACHO!!!

[Lorileah]

What have we got to compare to? Look at any (yes any except Oprah) magazine and the poses the women are in are typically coy and/or seductive. Now look at any "Men's" magazine and not only are they coy and seductive but blatantly raunchy. Most fashion magazines play up the seductiveness. They want the women who buy the outfit to believe that when they wear that outfit they will be the little minx that was in the picture. Usually doesn't work out that well and the woman gets disillusioned and goes back to "her" style. The photos of staunch angry women went out with Kodachrome.

It is all in the perspective once again. How many TG's here have said "I dress like this because my (SO) won't?" We believe that the look in the magazine is how women should look. So we copy that. Just like everything else some tend to over do the look they want. What many would refer to here as not "age appropriate". Campy, over the top, sometimes just plain bad taste, but it is what some are told women do (ask the photographer...I was told once that women didn't put their hands on their hips with the thumbs on her back.)

I don't think the intention of most the posters here is to seduce a man. Most just try and emulate what the magazines have shown. Be honest, no one wants to see themselves as an everyday person. We see that ...everyday. When we take pictures we want to bee seen as glamorous, pretty, sensual. Pictures are but a slice of life. True that unposed pictures are more true, but the majority of photos here at least have a little pose.

The original question was why do the TG's here try and look seductive in their pictures. I will turn that back on the OP, do you want to show pictures of yourself not looking your best? Most of us spend a lot of time getting ready. We don't want a "Rosie the Riveter" picture we want a "Marilyn Monroe" picture.

Again I don't think the intent is to get men, but more often to please ourselves. I will ask the question here, exactly how should we pose? Like Whistler's Mother? Like a politician who is getting a portrait for the rotunda? Like all the snapshots you have of your family and relatives looking extremely bored on the sidewalk in front of the house? What you see as being seductive to us is probably more what we see as how we wish we could look in real life.

[JulieK1980]

While I don't post those sorts of pictures of myself anywhere, (I lack the self image to do so.) I think there are probably millions of different reasons why people do that. For example, for me, I WOULD be doing it to attract men or women, because I'm bisexual. However I believe many do it for their own arousal, or to boost there own self esteem. I don't think you can infer the desire to attract men based on a picture. Ultimately they post those sorts of pictures, because they feel good about doing so. It's more for themselves, than it is for others. At least that's my understanding of it.

[carhill2mn]

I agree with your GG friend. I, too, often wonder what the person in the photo is tyring to portray and to what purpose.

[SamanthaS]

This is a complex question Di. Thanks for the headache :)

[Kaz]

OK... so I have been enduring the headache for a short while... why do I post pictures of myself? It is simple... I want affirmation that me dressed and made-up works ok? If I look like a dog, I want to someone to tell me so I can work on it. I would like the right that all women have to wear and present themselves in any form they choose. Granted they have worked hard to wear trousers in the workplace (as did many men on their behalf), but the male stereotype has shrunk over the years.

So.. I want to dress and present as a woman. Where do I get feedback on this journey? Well, one of the reasons, if not the reason, I joined this site was just that. The galleries provided that narrative (sorry mods!). Other than that the feedback and discussion comes from sharing stuff... sometimes we may stretch the envelope (apologies... a technical term!)...

But it is good to be able to share our darkest secrets...

If we are offending GGs we need to need to be more robust on what we are allowed to post on public platforms, and maybe we need to be more closeted and private in what we really discuss.. I think this would be a shame... I would like to think that GGs use this thread as way of understanding where all us daft complex people are coming from...

Though I must admit, this thread has caused me to think twice about what we should post on this forum...

To the OP I hope my avatar doesn't offend... if it does you need to say so.. this is easily remedied...

[suchacutie]

I would like to look at this from the other side:

Here I am, an ordinary looking guy, who transforms into what I hope is a reasonably acceptably looking feminine being. Would I want to look terrible? Would I want to scowl in the pictures, or frown, or act in some other negative way?

Of course not! I would want to smile, be attractive. I don't care who's looking as this is about being an attractive creature, whether masculine or feminine. If I were to post a masculine picture here, it would certainly not be a negative one. Don't we all enjoy looking positive?

Ok, I do agree that being blatantly sexual is not appropriate for this forum, and if someone has done that then this is between her and her spouse, and none of us really have anything to say about it, right? Any speculation as to why someone might act "over the top" is just that, speculation, and, in my opinion, do nothing positive for anyone's relationship.

Di, I would strongly suggest that the two parties involved sit down and have a discussion, else we may be doing a disservice to their relationship.

just my 2 cents.

tina

[Cheryl T]

I don't feel my pictures are suggestive or anything.
I don't dress to please men or women...I dress to please me.
What I wear is simply an expression of how I feel at that time. Sometimes I'm casual in jeans and T-shirt, sometimes I'm glamorous in a gown, sometimes I'm classy in a nice skirt and jacket. It suits me for the particular day and occasion.
I don't go over the top with gestures and such...my spouse lets me know when I do and reminds me that women don't do that, unless.....lol.

[Kaz]

Ladies I have a question one of our GG's would like to ask,Thank you in advance.

Most cders say I love women and I am not gay yet they post pics and alot of them are always trying to be seductive with puckers, touching themselves and gesters plus say things like kiss kiss..yet do they not realize its men looking at their pics that they are coming onto ?
I just do not get it.
Enlighten me please.

This is one of those threads I fear where the discussion goes completely off the OP. and I apologise for my part in that... It looks like I completely lost the plot!

So Di... this is a GG who most CDers say loves women, but yet the GG is not gay (i.e does not love women)... but the CDers are coming onto them with various gestures? And your concern is that they are actually coming onto guys, not GGs...?

[Marissa]

Marissa, you called down a poster for using offending remarks and then you do the offending yourself.
Laughing and then saying, no offense, doesn't let anyone off the hook.
I didn't care much for the term used by the poster either.
But I am a southern caucasian, so I guess that my opinion doesn't count for much, huh.

Thank you for pointing that out to me. Its removed.

[Rianna Humble]

Ladies I have a question one of our GG's would like to ask,Thank you in advance.

Most cders say I love women and I am not gay yet they post pics and alot of them are always trying to be seductive with puckers, touching themselves and gesters plus say things like kiss kiss..yet do they not realize its men looking at their pics that they are coming onto ?
I just do not get it.
Enlighten me please.

This is one of those threads I fear where the discussion goes completely off the OP. and I apologise for my part in that... It looks like I completely lost the plot!

So Di... this is a GG who most CDers say loves women, but yet the GG is not gay (i.e does not love women)... but the CDers are coming onto them with various gestures? And your concern is that they are actually coming onto guys, not GGs...?

Kaz, if I am right, what has confused you is the lack of quotation marks in the original question. It took me a couple of read-throughs but I believe that the question should have read:

Most cders say "I love women and I am not gay" yet they post pics and a lot of them are always trying to be seductive...

thus finding an apparent contradiction between the assertion that the CD is only into women and the sexy pose that the GG feels is put up for men to ogle.

What I feel may confuse the GG questioner is that many of us in the cross-dressing community genuinely do not consider the anatomical gender of our fellow transgenders. I know that I could no more think of one of our FtM brethren in terms of being a woman than I could think of one of our MtF sisters in terms of being a man.

Do I understand that some cross-dressers are resolute in their desire to keep their anatomical gender? Yes, but does that make me treat them differently to the way that they present? Sorry but no.

Incidentally, I rarely look in the picture and video gallery, so I may be speaking completely out of turn.

[NicoleScott]

It could be that in some cases, the cd doesn't know HOW to pose to present a feminine image, and does the best possible. I learned from my pics that some poses don't work, like those with legs apart or hands on hips. Some of us had to learn to pose. I am still not happy with the way I walk - some video clips told me so. Still working on trying for a more feminine gait.

This topic is still another example of the great divide here. There are identity dressers, many of whom desire to blend in and avoid blatant, over-the-top, provocative dress, makeup, and manner. Or they may have natural feminine tendencies and it comes easy. Others dress for pleasure and like to present themselves as sexy. It's in the mind of the beholder. I dress and makeup over-the-top, but I strive more for glam and less for sexy. That's just me. We're all different.
It seems to me that there is a kind of undercurrent of snobbery here. The identity dressers want us pleasure dressers to clean up our act and present a better image in order to gain public acceptance for us all. Identity dressers often want to be called "transgendered" to differentiate themselves from the sexually deviant "fetishistic crossdressers". Identity dressers want acceptance for themselves but won't accept crossdressers who don't fit their template. You don't like how someone poses? <click> you don't have to look.

[DebsUK]

I suppose a lot of the poses emphasise feminine: pouting to make you lips look bigger, thrusting your boobs forward, sticking your bum out. It's a chicken and egg thing I guess that the poses are seen as sexy, but they are sexy because they emphasise girliness but to make yourself look more girly in a pose you would strike to make the femme features stand out more. Saying that I've not got any pictures like that

[sarac]

I agree with Kaz that we are off the subject here. I have read from the girls here that they dont post sexy or aluring pictures. That they feel that maybe the yoir SO is just coping ideas from magazines on newstands. I think we need to hear from the girls that in fact do post sexy or aluringing photos to what their feelings are to why they do it, not from girls that say they dont. We have not see your SO photos also, so its hard for us to render a real opinion. I myself am guilty of taking the sexy photos, but as I have said before, I am going through a conflcting time and not sure I fully understand it yet myself. I have not yet discussed this with my wife until I get a better idea of what I am feeling. I dont feel the need to fully upset her, if this conflict is in passing. Of course in any matter I will tell her what ever has happened so she will not later find out. If she was to see the photos ive done and asked me of course I would tell her at that time. I know from reading the other girls they will disagree with me. I do feel if your SO is taking the unacceptable photos she may also be in a conflict, and now that you have seen them,you need to tell her and ask her about them. Its just my opinion which seldom does anyone ever listen anyway. Sooo if you have gotten this far thats for reading this.
Thanks Sara...........

[2SpeedTranny]

Because I'm a narcissistic freak with a huge streak of exhibitionism.

I'm sure I'm not the only one, but apparently, the only one in this thread so far to admit it. :P

[Celeste]

To fab gg.For some,to emulate a woman includes the provocative poses.It helps to complete their image of what they feel they like in a woman.Their sexual desires may be completely opposite of that,so I feel its OK to do what you want with this depending on your mood.For others who are transgender,well ..its not just a pose but their true feelings.I guess we need to be careful what we assume about others irregardless of what we think they are projecting

[Rianna Humble]

I guess we need to be careful what we assume about others irregardless of what we think they are projecting

At the same time we can turn that sentence around and try to be careful of what we project regardless of what we assume.

[GingerLeigh]

What would you suggest for poses? The "superman" pose? How about the iron pumping, muscle flexing he-man pose? Either way it would look silly while wearing a beautiful flowing gown or a cute mini skirt. Dressing for me is a temporary transformation into a woman (I guess a lesbian) so it isn't just clothing on a dude.

As for the "kiss-kiss" or "hon" thing, well I don't know about that one. It sometimes creeps me out a little having a man say that to me directly. But really it doesn't really bother me much that others here use feminine terms of endearment. It's their thing and I doubt they mean to offend anyone or that there is anything sexual behind it. They are just going the distance in expressing their femininity.

I wouldn't suggest anyone goes "whazzuuuuuuuup?!" or anything retarded like that. Someone else here uses "cheers". I like that one, it's so English and "a-sexual".


Ginger

[Pythos]

Oh, and who is to say, Lesbian, or Bi-sexual women don't find those poses alluring. I know that may be a wild shot in the dark, but who knows. I know my Bi GG friend looks at pics of women and is known to say "oh that's hot" or "Oh she is sooo sexi", and so on. When she saw me in my vampiress outfit, she was all "Oh my god, you don't look like a drag queen, you look ravashing" LOL

So I don't think our poses are for men to ogle, though they do. I know that when I look at the pics here there is no sexual desire, only a desire to find something I can use for my own look.

Plus, male poses.....usually express POWER, DOMNIATION, BRAWN, and other MANLY things I personally think there is an unequal distribution of these days. :)

[JulieK1980]

My question to this thread, is why does it matter? Unless there is an inherent relationship with the person posting the pictures I'm not sure it matters much. I guess the real answer is; because they want to. Unless there is something inappropriate, it's there own choice.

If the person posting the pictures is a friend or significant other I'd say ask them personally. Reading through these posts, (the ones on the topic) it seems clear that there are as many reasons as there are people posting them.

[GingerLeigh]

Oh, and who is to say, Lesbian, or Bi-sexual women don't find those poses alluring. I know that may be a wild shot in the dark, but who knows. I know my Bi GG friend looks at pics of women and is known to say "oh that's hot" or "Oh she is sooo sexi", and so on. When she saw me in my vampiress outfit, she was all "Oh my god, you don't look like a drag queen, you look ravashing" LOL

So I don't think our poses are for men to ogle, though they do. I know that when I look at the pics here there is no sexual desire, only a desire to find something I can use for my own look.

Plus, male poses.....usually express POWER, DOMNIATION, BRAWN, and other MANLY things I personally think there is an unequal distribution of these days. :)

Well said Pythos! I couldn't have said it better myself, no really I couldn't have!

Ginger

[suit]

if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck....is it as crossdresser ? or a chicken hawk ?

[DonniDarkness]

To answer the original question:

I think the problem with understanding this is the precept that our poses as crossdressers are meant to attract others...no matter if they are aimed at either gender.
Presuming that they are using these pics for the sole purpose of attracting a perspective SO is way off base for most of us. Because at the end of the day this is a site built for our whole Community, not a dating site.
I browse our community pics and see lots of confident people being themselves. Some are very sexy in intent and some are very practical. Embracing both sides of our community from fetish to full-time, we pose for pics to show off our having fun side. Many dont have an open SO to share these moments of confidence captured on film. So they end up here among their peers.

And this question strikes the heart of sexuality among us as a whole. Gay, straight, whatever, if they are attractive pics, then by all means be confident and be yourself. If that involves blowing kisses at the camera then have fun with it.

Being a Sexy Freak,
-Donni-

[TxKimberly]

I sat here for at least five minutes trying to decide if I should comment on this thread or not. After all, I seriously doubt that there are many here that have as many pics on the web as I do.
The thing is, I doubt that my pics fit the box you have in your mind.
I went for about ten years having only two or three pictures of myself as Kimberly. When I was feeling old and ugly, I would pull those pics out and think to myself "See, I CAN be pretty!". One day I was looking at them and it occurred to me that I had gotten older, and maybe even old. If your older than your mid thirties, then you may have even had this awful revelation and moment yourself. Anyway, it struck me that I wished I had taken more pictures for the memories while I was younger and prettier. My next thought was that some day when I was in my sixties, I may well look back at TODAY and think the same thing - why didn't you take more photo's while you were young and before all the wrinkles destroyed your face? With this depressing and horrific thought in mind, I trotted out and bought my first digital camera, and a monster was born. . .
I DO have a theory about why a lot of us post pics though. Most of us spend a significant part of our life hiding in closets and terrified that others will see us or learn of our secret. For all of that, we still have a longing - how wonderful would it be to enter the world wearing a beautiful skirt or high heels? When you consider the two conflicting desires (secrecy vrs the desire to enter the world wearing what we dream of), suddenly putting pictures out on the internet is an almost perfect solution. It's an outlet for that which we want to share and participate in and yet are terrified to do so. Anyway, it's a theory - take it or leave it as you please . . .
As for the provocative nature of some of the pics, I just don't know - I don't have any pics along those lines. On the other hand, were I in my twenties and with a fit figure, I might actually try and give some of them a run for their money. Even then though, it wouldn't be that I was aiming to attract men - they hold no interest for me. It would be more about fulfilling the fantasy of being someone that I myself might consider attractive and desirable.
Did that make ANY sense at all or did I just ramble? Damn, aint getting old a bitch?

[lauraabdl]

Ok, here's my :2c: worth...

First, there is a difference between being attractive and trying to attract, wouldn't you say? That is why it is perfectly acceptable for a married woman who has no intention of stepping out on her man to make her self attractive to go to work or the store or wherever, without her husband. She isn't secretly wishing to attract another man, she just wants to present herself as an attractive woman. There is a benefit to one's self in being attractive and it isn't in the act of attracting. I'll bring this back later.

Second, if you were a photographer taking pictures of a woman and you could only pick one of the pictures to go into a magazine/yearbook/whatever, wouldn't you want to choose the picture that you felt put the woman in the best light possible? For a straight CDer acting as photographer and subject, you are judging yourself according to some internal measuring stick of how you perceive yourself. A CDer wants to be seen as an attractive woman (not to attract, but to be attractive... like the married woman going to the store/work/etc...).

So a CDer who chooses a "provocative" pose may have chosen that pose because that is the pose that they felt represented the most attractive version of their self.

Or viewed another way, you could say that they are trying to "attract" (for lack of a better word) a male... themselves. Just as a GG might get dolled up to feel good about herself. I dress to feel good, so I'm going to pick the picture that exemplifies what I view as the best aspects of being en femme.

I fully agree with you. We are tring to get the best picture of what we feel is our inner beauty and bring it out on the canvas. Not thinking along the lines that you are. We are just showing our inner beauty, our femme self to others plain and simple.

[Pythos]

Here is another question for the GG.

Why is it these poses are necessarily feminine, and meant to attract men.

Why are men limited yet again in another field of expression?

Why can men not pose provocatively or sexi?

As I have stated most male poses deal with the display of power, or brawn, or strength....notice, how all of those have a key feature, I will leave it to the reader to figure that one out.

My "sassy" pose, is in fact a "manly" heroic pose, not much different from what Superman is regularly seen doing. Standing up with arms crossed at chest is also a heroic pose, more like one Batman does.

Once again, the line between male and female is razor thin and easily transgressed.

The pose of the subject lying on one side or the other can be taken as a submissive pose, and consequently feminine. Once again this is a social construct that can easily be shattered.

Now, that is not to say there are poses that are very "feminine" and that is because they emphasize something only women have...breasts. These poses are done by us I think because we are trying to appear as feminine as our bodies will allow, though, when I am in androg or male mode, I am known to use such a pose. The afformentioned superheroes are also known to do this pose.

It is all silly non-sense to allow yet another area of limitation for men to remain.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I haven't trudged through the bulk of responses in this thread because I haven't had the time to, but I will answer it for me. I have recently started posted a few "Sexy" photos onto an erotic pics website. Unlike the majority of my dressing which is just being a guy in a skirt or dress, in these pics I actually go both fully girl, and also try my best to pose in a more risque, seductive manner. Now, yes, money is a reason for this, but I haven't really made all that much money from this endeavor, so for me to have done two photo shoots for this, there has to be another reason to be doing it besides that, and I think it's fair to say, yes, I do like the idea that I can get all dolled up and be sexy in that way. When I'm about midway through one of these photo shoots, I definitely feel really sexy and great about myself. I feel hot. I feel like one of the Victoria's Secret models I grew up both lusting after and being jealous of.

Am I fully aware that the people looking at my photo sets are other men? Yes. But it doesn't mean anything to me except being flattered that someone finds me attractive enough to want to buy my "sexy" photos. It doesn't mean I want these men to come a-callin' on me or trying to pursue a relationship with me, it's just a little bit of fun that will also hopefully turn me a small profit.

[docrobbysherry]

Because I'm a narcissistic freak with a huge streak of exhibitionism.
I'm sure I'm not the only one, but apparently, the only one in this thread so far to admit it. :P

I'll admit it, 2Speed! Altho, that's really just another way of saying, "I post pictures of myself that I think look HOT!":daydreaming:
Not everyone's, "Hot", looks the same tho, does it?


--------------------I DO have a theory about why a lot of us post pics though. Most of us spend a significant part of our life hiding in closets and terrified that others will see us or learn of our secret. For all of that, we still have a longing - how wonderful would it be to enter the world wearing a beautiful skirt or high heels? When you consider the two conflicting desires (secrecy vrs the desire to enter the world wearing what we dream of), suddenly putting pictures out on the internet is an almost perfect solution. ---------------

As for the provocative nature of some of the pics, I just don't know - ------ were I in my twenties and with a fit figure, I might actually try and give some of them a run for their money. Even then though, it wouldn't be that I was aiming to attract men - they hold no interest for me. It would be more about fulfilling the fantasy of being someone that I myself might consider attractive and desirable.---------


That's so well expressed, Kim! U explained BEAUTIFULLY why I enjoy posting my pics online, AND why I prefer posting HOT pics of Sherry!!:D

Even tho I'm over 60, I'm a somewhat recent beginner of dressing and I'm lucky enuff to have a figure that can get AWAY WITH lookin' HOT!:devil:
I expect to pass this silly, " Post hot pics", stage one of these days! Maybe when I'm in my 80's!?:heehee:

[Heathersgams]

Maybe it's BSS, Britaney Spears Syndrome! No doubt a lot of us have pics that are age/place inappropriate:) Along the way we have to push the envelope, experiment and revue to find ourselves. Posting pics better relate to who you are now or be sure to caption or date the picture for posterity. Hugz

[Babeba]

Here is another question for the GG.

Why is it these poses are necessarily feminine, and meant to attract men.

Why are men limited yet again in another field of expression?

Why can men not pose provocatively or sexi?

...

It is all silly non-sense to allow yet another area of limitation for men to remain.

For those who missed Di's second post about this anonymous GG who had posted the question, the pictures she was disturbed by and questioning were posted by her husband. I'm assuming that she did not know these pictures existed before she saw them in the picture gallery here, or if she did know they existed she never had thought they were for public consumption. Is it acceptable to post deliberately provocative pictures when one is in a serious, committed relationship?

Something that I've had trouble wrapping my head around are not the poses I've seen pictures of, but the responses they get. For example, one picture I saw recently was of one of our members in her bra and panties, with a profusion of extra lingerie piled in front of her groin. Some of the other photos in the set had provocative captions. The responses to that picture were that others saw it as being very classy, and very feminine, and the member was hit on quite a bit. It bothered me.

Don't get me wrong, the picture itself wasn't the bothering part - as has been said on here, you see advertising images like that all the time all over the place, and I am all for healthy self expression that satisfies the individual. The part I found hard was the fact others on the thread picked out THAT particular image to call very feminine, and labelled the whole thing 'classy.' Do you have to show your underwear to prove you're 'feminine'? Since when did they pass THAT rule? 'Cause I totally missed it. And as for 'classy?' Class is something every female can aspire to, and is something which can be shown at all times. If you'd feel embarrassed looking like that or acting like that in front of your grandmother (assuming your grandmother was perfectly accepting of your femininity), or if Grace Kelly would never have done that - it's not classy. It's just not. Maybe it's sexy, or artistic, or beautiful - but it falls closer to the trashy side than the classy one.

The thing I have to think is, the more people see feedback like that on images where the poser is scantily clad and provocative, the more they're going to think, 'that's what I have to do to look good.' I think that's a real trap for girls and women (including in this category all the wonderful CDers and TG ladies on this site) to fall into. I have been involved with groups for young girls for a long time, and I can't tell you how often girls feel pressure to tart up and 'be sexy' because that's how they think they have to be to be taken seriously as a woman, for very similar reasons to this. I wonder how much our anonymous GG's partner posted those pictures because that's what she thought she needed to do to look very feminine.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

For those who missed Di's second post about this anonymous GG who had posted the question, the pictures she was disturbed by and questioning were posted by her husband. I'm assuming that she did not know these pictures existed before she saw them in the picture gallery here, or if she did know they existed she never had thought they were for public consumption. Is it acceptable to post deliberately provocative pictures when one is in a serious, committed relationship?

Let me ask you this, is it acceptable for a married woman, such as Heidi Klum, to pose modeling lingerie? I would say it is by most folks except the most conservative amongst us. If the issue in question is that the GG's husband was posting these pictures without her knowledge, behind her back, then isn't it fair to say the real issue here is one of trust and honesty with one's spouse and partner, rather than an indictment of all who pose in sexy ways?


The part I found hard was the fact others on the thread picked out THAT particular image to call very feminine, and labelled the whole thing 'classy.' Do you have to show your underwear to prove you're 'feminine'? Since when did they pass THAT rule? 'Cause I totally missed it. And as for 'classy?' Class is something every female can aspire to, and is something which can be shown at all times. If you'd feel embarrassed looking like that or acting like that in front of your grandmother (assuming your grandmother was perfectly accepting of your femininity), or if Grace Kelly would never have done that - it's not classy. It's just not. Maybe it's sexy, or artistic, or beautiful - but it falls closer to the trashy side than the classy one.

I think this is a matter of perspective. Unfortunately, if you do a google search on the internet for sexy pictures of crossdressers, or heck, just for pictures of crossdressers with the safe search filter off, you will find a lot raunchier photos than the ones like you described. Sadly, amongst the world of crossdressing photos, it is somewhat classy to not show off one's genitals or pose performing some sort of sex act. There's a huge pile of material that is pornographic in nature that somehow gets passed off as the norm of what makes a "sexy crossdresser," and as a result, what is or isn't classy is a bit skewed by comparison. On several sites I've seen photo groupings where "Classy" means "No nudity."

[Babeba]

Let me ask you this, is it acceptable for a married woman, such as Heidi Klum, to pose modeling lingerie? I would say it is by most folks except the most conservative amongst us. If the issue in question is that the GG's husband was posting these pictures without her knowledge, behind her back, then isn't it fair to say the real issue here is one of trust and honesty with one's spouse and partner, rather than an indictment of all who pose in sexy ways?

That's exactly what I'm trying to say, so let me rephrase that question. 'Is it acceptable to post deliberately provocative pictures without the knowledge or blessing from the one with whom a person is in a serious, committed relationship?'



I think this is a matter of perspective. Unfortunately, if you do a google search on the internet for sexy pictures of crossdressers, or heck, just for pictures of crossdressers with the safe search filter off, you will find a lot raunchier photos than the ones like you described. Sadly, amongst the world of crossdressing photos, it is somewhat classy to not show off one's genitals or pose performing some sort of sex act. There's a huge pile of material that is pornographic in nature that somehow gets passed off as the norm of what makes a "sexy crossdresser," and as a result, what is or isn't classy is a bit skewed by comparison. On several sites I've seen photo groupings where "Classy" means "No nudity."
Okay, I'll take your word on that one!

I think it's just the implication I'm seeing on this site that in order to get attention and validation from other crossdressers, one has to post pictures of oneself and the pictures which are encouraged and 'validated' the most, are seen as being the most 'feminine' or 'classy' are ones where the poser is wearing as little as they can get away with. It kind of makes me wonder first off how I am seen from the average genetically male point of view (or any other GG, for that matter) and second off how many 'young' crossdressers end up taking and posting photos they'll regret later because they wanted to fit in and be seen as 'feminine.'

[eluuzion]

hiya anonymous, lol

Some of the explanation is just Maslow’s Hierarchy Needs being played out. More specifically, the third level (belonging) and fourth level (esteem).

We need to belong someplace and feel accepted within the group(s) we are part of. We accomplish this by proving we fit into the social norms defined by the group. Posting CD images may provide concrete “evidence” of that commitment.

Esteem needs create the desire to rise to a higher position within a group. Earning the respect of the our peer group gives us greater “power”.

The nature of the TG issue places emphasis on physical appearance. By default, it becomes a competition to earn enough peer group and admirer votes to become a “star”. Some use a sexually explicit strategy and others try to achieve respect by condemning it.
Still others resort to the sexually explicit route when other strategies become ineffective.

The sexual aspects you are referring to are often considerations that may never even enter his mind. It may simply be a compensating strategy to fulfill a desperate need for acceptance which is being denied elsewhere.

Interpreting our own behavior is a challenging task. Interpreting the behavior of another person is even more challenging. It requires us to change our viewing perspective. Using our own prospective and perceptions of the world to uncover another person’s motivation and behavior rarely generates anything productive.

What makes sense to us is irrelevant. What makes sense to the another person has everything to do with understanding their motivations and behavior. Understanding and acknowledging his perceptions of the world will enable you to understand the reasoning, justification and motivation for his behavior.

It is possible to understand things that do not make sense when viewed with our own perception of the world.

Just my thoughts,
Good Luck !:hugs:

[cordgrass]

I love to look hot and flirt, even if I'm in a serious relationship. That's a basic part of my femininity. Heck, I've got a closeup pic of my bare tits on Fetlife. There are plenty of women like me. Nothing wrong with crossdressing men emulating women like me.

Also, some women do enjoy the provocative and other pix posted here. Just because we don't post in the pix section doesn't mean we don't lurk.

[Pythos]

To the GGs that do like our pics. BY ALL MEANS, post comments!!! LOL

I LOVE to have GGs leave nice comments on my flickr, and on this site too.

Not that I turn my nose up at fellow CDs. Now, some coments from males go right into the recycle bin :)

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

That's exactly what I'm trying to say, so let me rephrase that question. 'Is it acceptable to post deliberately provocative pictures without the knowledge or blessing from the one with whom a person is in a serious, committed relationship?'

I would say no. In my shoes, if I had a girlfriend who was posting photos like that online without my knowledge, I'd be upset by it if I discovered it. If it were something she were up front and honest about, then I'd be fine with it.




I think it's just the implication I'm seeing on this site that in order to get attention and validation from other crossdressers, one has to post pictures of oneself and the pictures which are encouraged and 'validated' the most, are seen as being the most 'feminine' or 'classy' are ones where the poser is wearing as little as they can get away with. It kind of makes me wonder first off how I am seen from the average genetically male point of view (or any other GG, for that matter) and second off how many 'young' crossdressers end up taking and posting photos they'll regret later because they wanted to fit in and be seen as 'feminine.'

Well, I'm sorry to be the one who seems to have to break this to you, but yes the average male very much wants to see you in as little as they can get away with. It doesn't mean that they don't like to see you fully clothed, or that they don't respect you or admire you for other things that you have to offer the world, but yeah, guys like to see women looking sexy. Having said that, I do like to see a girl wearing actual lingerie, such as stockings or a corset, or at least a nicer bra and panty set, than a girl who just strips on down. There's something about the tease and the playfulness of it that does make it seem more feminine, yes, and more classy than just getting right to it. I prefer the concept of burlesque to the concept of a strip club.

While I think there is some truth to your comments, and I certainly don't want you to think I'm dismissing them, knowing my own perspective, I didn't need anyone to peer pressure me into wanting to dress in lingerie. I think the reason so many of us do it, and so many of us respond to it, is to be honest, the less clothes you wear, the harder it is to pull off. Take my word for this too, there are plenty of examples to be found online of men wearing lingerie that don't even remotely look feminine or sexy and classy might as well be an alien concept. So when we see a crossdresser wearing lingerie and actually managing to tap into that feminine sexuality in a way usually reserved for women, it is pretty impressive. So two things are typically happening when one looks at the photo, we think of the things we like to see when we look at women, and also we have a bit of a vicarious appreciation happening. It makes me feel good to see a CD who can pull off a cheesecake photo because it makes me think wow maybe I have a chance at pulling that off too.

As far as the "showing less" pictures being the most validating, I can't say I agree with your point there, at least not on this forum. While such photos get posted and yes they do get many positive comments, I don't think it's a fair assessment of the majority of the photo threads in the gallery. As I typed this I slipped over to that section in another tab and I opened about 10 different threads on the main page, all of which had at least one full page of comments if not two or three, and none of them were boudoir type shots. In fact, three different threads were either entirely or mostly shots of just the face.

[Pythos]

Heh, I have some sets of me wearing just a bra and hose, and heels. I get told I look really feminine, I just see me wearing as little as I am willing to wear in front of the camera. There is also a set of me just in my disco pant....no top. What I see is a male. Male build, male features. To be honest I like those pics of me, and love to get compliments on them from GGs, since I am indeed very androgynous looking.

ah heck, this is the link to that set. http://www.flickr.com/photos/29482148@N05/sets/72157624487285884/

my hair is my wild hair, and I have make up, but there is no question as to my true nature.

Now, did I do this set to appeal to men? NO WAY. Some of the captions I state how I would like a real girl in place of my Jeune Fille.

and this is just one of the pantyhose only shots. http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3188/4560952625_399030933d.jpg This was a fun shot due to how little I was wearing. Why should women get all the fun? :)

Now will my SO know of this? Hell I am hoping it is one of these pics that attract her :P

[Lorileah]

I think it's just the implication I'm seeing on this site that in order to get attention and validation from other crossdressers, one has to post pictures of oneself and the pictures which are encouraged and 'validated' the most, are seen as being the most 'feminine' or 'classy' are ones where the poser is wearing as little as they can get away with. It kind of makes me wonder first off how I am seen from the average genetically male point of view (or any other GG, for that matter) and second off how many 'young' crossdressers end up taking and posting photos they'll regret later because they wanted to fit in and be seen as 'feminine.'

Part of being young is doing things that you will ...I won't say regret because everything I did when I was young just made me more who I am now...but wonder why you did them. I recently found a photo of my mother posing with her ankle length skirt hiked high on her thigh (made me stop for a second then made me think "wow my mom was really a real person before I came along and made her age"). I have photos of me in male mode that I hope no one ever ever sees (yet I cannot destroy them...and they were posed and taken by my wife). I have photos of my late wife in various levels of dress that I wish I had more now she is gone and I have a rotten memory. All that isn't the point here but young people will do things that young people do as it has been forever.

As far as most photos needing to be cheesecake (that's what we old fogeys called it) I either look at the wrong photos or I don't see them as "most" here. Most seem to be fairly benign everyday poses. But I don't look at all the photos.

How are females seen by the average genetic male? Good question. If we go with the hard wire theory, you are looked at as a potential maing partner to distribute genec material (fits the stereotype doesn't it?). On the yang part of that women look at men for potential protection (now a days money more than muscle but muscle still works).

I will go out on a limb here. The majority of TG's here are not here for the sexual thrill. So this site is slightly different than most. I will also postulate that many people here actually are to some degree transgendered and not fetishists (Ok I know at least one person is going to disagree on that). So I agree with JTOR on checking other sites if you think the photos here are suggestive (well they are suggestive more than blatant). I will refer back to my original reply here. Many pictures posted are what many see in women's magazines. Yes they titillate the male but they also subliminally have some attraction to females or else DKNY and others would not be in business long. I will even say that most pictures here really are like looking at a woman's magazine...with a fair number of everyday suburban woman poses thrown in.

Do we need to show a lot of skin to get validation? Not so much here I think. Most the photos I have posted are what you would see from me on an average day. Yes, the skirts are short but I have the legs so I show them. But they are what I could wear daily on the street. I have photos taht you will never see here (mostly because I am sort of shy about them but more because I don't want to get banned) and I won't delete them forever because they are "sexy" and yes many men would find them attractive at the least. I love the attention I get from my photo posts and I love the replies I get here from my "peers". Am I looking to attract men? I don't need suggestive photos for that, just have to be "visible" on any chat mode on the web. I have turned down more offers from men online than any maid at the Hilton has turned down sheets and I don't even offer mints. And 99% have never seen a photo of me

[KristaE]

I agree with the "lingerie as a tease is sexy" sentiment.

I don't have anything really to add, except for what I have stated earlier. We just need to keep in mind that self-identity is complex, even for those who are lucky enough to have "society approved identities". (My wife, for example, often feels unattractive despite my regular reassurance to the contrary... that is her complex self-identity at work). Often, the hodge-podge self-identity that CDers have cobbled together results in doing things that we view as "sexy" in order to project our mental self-indentity into the real world.

As most CDers will tell you, we don't dress for someone else's benefit, we dress for ourselves. Which means the only person we are trying to be attractive to is ourselves. Again, this just reinforces my previous assertion that this is a self-identity issue (i.e. how one views one's self). Sure, we would like to get the approbation of the rest of the world, but that is only to help us confirm that we have succeeded in projecting our mental self-identity.

P.S.

Ryan, that was HILARIOUS stand-up. I don't know why you weren't getting more laughs from the audience (probably too many "macho" guys who couldn't allow themselves to find the humor). I was cracking up. Great stuff. I'd like to see more of your stand-up. When are you coming to Seattle?

[Babeba]

Lorileah and JTOR, very fair comments, and I'm glad to hear from your perspectives on this. Eluuzion, what you wrote makes a lot of sense to me, too. The cheesecake photos are by no means the majority (they are fairly rare), but when I see them they tend to get the most comments from other CDs. Also, I totally understand having lingerie (I haven't bought boring underwear since I was about 13) and I also understand taking pictures! I was thinking more along the lines of someone later regretting posting delicate pics for wider consumption... like maybe the husband of Ms. Anonymous GG, should he ever figure out she found pictures that hurt her?