I Just Can't Decide !

[CDAllie]

Hii I'm Allie, i'm 19 and still live at home with my parents.

Let me start by saying I love crossdressing, I love the feeling of being a woman, I love the feeling of looking like a woman and I feel like i have experienced so little of what i could do as Allie, and would really like to continue to the experience.

The problem is i'm a closet dresser. none of my family or friends know about me, but i would like to keep it this way. I find it's sort of a personal thing, as much as it would be amaizng to have some one to share it with I dont want the world knowing, I cant imagine how much the relationships with those people would change, even if they were to accept me i can still see relationships with them being, or even find them treating me differently. I want to stop so people dont find out, but i also want to enjoy what I have as Allie :sad:

[Melissa Jill]

Hello Allie.

I am in a similar position to you. I am 22 currently living at home with my parents. Its so annoying because I don't get any kind of privacy, luckily its only for a few months.
If you enjoy expressing your femininity then keep on doing it! Just be careful about where you hide your girly posessions and when you dress up. Theres nothing wrong with having a few secrets.
If you are careful its very easy to keep it a secret.

[Debbie new]

Don't stop Crossdressing because you are worried about people finding out, you can still be Allie, i understand the worry of people finding out and how it can change peoples perceptions of you. There is no set answer to this, if you wish to keep your crossdressing a secret then that is good, you know what is right for you at this time. I hope you continue to explore your feminine side, do what you feel is right by you, good luck.

[Michelle 51]

Your lucky.For a lot of us on here there isn't any decision left in the matter.

[jemima_bates]

Hmmm...

Hi Allie,

You're not alone - I also love every aspect of dressing and being feminine, but like you, I like that it is MY thing alone (save for this site) and MY own little world.

I suppose it's dangerous to have your cake and eat it, but not everyone is ready to come out.

Also, trying to stop, when it really sounds like you might not be ready to, could be difficult.

I suppose I should say, in most cases, honesty IS the best policy - but everyone's different. Good luck!

Jemima
x

[Julogden]

Hi Allie,

Many of us have been where you are, being very young while living at home and having to hide your dressing, including me, so I can commiserate with you. Ideally, if you are employed, get your own place as soon as possible. If you're in school and and stuck at home for the duration, then patience is required.

If you're in a larger town or near one that might have a support group, you might look into that, it may be of great value for you to have others to talk to in person, and meetings can be a chance to get away from home, dress up and get out for an evening. Where there's a will, there's a way.

For the time being, don't feel pressured to share this aspect of your life with others if it doesn't feel right to you. You'll know when it's time to tell.

Good luck,
Carol

[Jennifer Cox]

I don't really like to give advice as we're all different, but it's unlikely that your feelings will go away. From personal experience, I would suggest that you decide where your feelings lie before entering into any long term relationships. You will probably only be able to suppress these desires for a limited time, before they bite you in the ass, so it's better to try and sort out the issues now, rather than when it's more complicated by relationships.

[AnnaCalliope]

Hold onto who you are, even if its only the briefest of moments. You'll find your happiness someday. Imagine the day you finally move into a new place, with a couple of accepting friends or even by yourself. Imagine when walking around completely as Allie will be a reality. It will be a reality.

I was a closet dresser for years. I finally came out to my best friend my senior year of high school because I couldn't go on like that anymore. I needed someone real to talk to. I'd been on AOL chat rooms and forums before, but a real life friend who accepts us for everything that we are is what's best.

Don't stayed cooped up inside that closet forever.

[giuseppina]

Hello Allie

Maybe the status quo is the best thing for now. I agree with the others that stopping may not be the best idea, but make sure you cover your tracks when you dress and keep your stuff in an out of the way place if you don't want to get found out.

Generally, the best thing to do is learn to accept that these urges come and go if you haven't already. It's part of you. Some have reported getting a bit stressed if they don't get their girl time, and I include myself in that group. It's a good idea to disclose this to a prospective partner once things look like there is potential for making things permanent.

Good luck. :hugs:

[MonicaTC]

If you are truly happy with being femme, then please keep doing so. You are only 19 and you will not be living with your parents forever :). Just persevere. Plus with you being so young, you likely have the body now to make crossdressing so easily passable for you now to make most of us and the gg's jealous. I wish that I had stuck with it back in my 20's, I look back at those pics and wish I could look as hot in a dress as I did then. And there are partners out there who are completely accepting of us, the lady sleeping on the couch nearby me is proof of that. Love her dearly. Patience. For now just take care to keep your secret and dress as you can. And as Dan Savage says "It will get better."

Monica

[docrobbysherry]

Sounds like you've already DECIDED, Allie!

Most of us r closet dressers! While we mite WISH to go out en fem, the general public may NOT be ready for us, and we're NOT ready for the consequences!!

[Tanya C]

Chances are you will not have any choice in the matter, at least in the long term. You will probably be able to quit temporarily but it will most likely return, and it will probably be with you for life. Hiding it from friends and relatives is fairly easy if you're careful, but just remember as you get older and perhaps become involved in a committed relationship the rules change. At that point you should certainly let your SO know about your cding. for a variety of reasons, mostly because he/she deserve to know.
My best advice is to start working on self acceptance sooner than later because it will make it easier to be honest about your cding when you start to become involved in a serious relationship. Please don't make the mistake of hiding your cding from a potential spouse/SO with the hopes that you will be able to get rid of it somewhere down the road. That would be a recipe for disaster. Denial is a cder's worst enemy.

[CDAllie]

First off, thankyou everyone for taking time out fo your day to worry about my problems. I think you guys are right, i have quit before and found myself out buying new panties a week later. It is not because i dont have a choice though, it is because i have already made up my mind on how i feel about CDing... I love it ! So i think i'll find myself covering my tracks too keep it secret, and maybe just doing small subtle things that make me feel femme, like sitting down when pee. A promise to all those who are worried, I swear i will be responsible when my relationships get serious, and inform my SO of who I am.

[Jenniferathome]

Allie, you can enjoy it. You don't have to tell your family. From the time I was 16 and able to drive, I kept a small suitcase in the trunk of my car and random evenings would get dressed in gas station rest rooms, my car, where ever I felt safe and have hours to myself.

[Loni]

welcome to our world.

it is a problem for some, most have overcome in there own way.
be yourself. and as you are so young take care of your skin now as it will be a big payback in your future years.
i wish there was a perfect answer for you, but you are you and nobody else, only you know your family and friends. you should not try to hide or believe you will out grow this, it will only hurt you inside.
live your life as you want to live it. buy or build a hard case bed trunk. it can also be used to sit on, has a lock so what is inside is yours only to see.
even a steel box in the garage/out building. (locking).
not sure were you live but search out a support group close to you.
monthly socials, day/night outings, etc.
if you live "close" to sacramento, ca look into the river city gems. http://www.rivercitygems.org/ we are very active and love to help out a new girl.

good luck, and please post up here as we will help as we can.

Loni

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[Celeste]

You can still enjoy expressing yourself ,its just a matter of planning.For now,still living at home must be restricting for you.It wont be that way forever.Try to think of the future and set up plans for your own place and the privacy that comes with that.Til then,try to network and set up times for yourself outside of the house,meeting someone to share with,who has a place could really help.

[Roberta Marie]

Allie,

It sounds like you have come to terms with who you are at a great age. Many of us old farts wish that we had the brains and the courage to do so when we were your age.

I have to agree that if you are comfortable in the closet, then there is no reason to come out of the closet. Some day that may change, and maybe it won't. One thing, though, that I would suggest, is to have some answers ready just incase you are discovered. There's nothing worse than being caught in the moment and being at a loss for words. So have some idea if what you would say if Mom or Dad were to come home early and catch you in a skirt.

[Nancie64]

I'm one of the old farts that Roberta Marie refers to. My 1st check should be here in a few days. I too was dressing at your age and very careful about it. I have only a few people that know I do dress and can't imagine if my daughters or son ever found out. Love my kids to much. One of the best things now days is that you can travel around and stay overnight at a motel, dress, and take a ride and maybe stop and shop at the big stores, or the small ones. If no one knows you, who does it hurt. Just remember to be safe and enjoy.