So what ourfir would you have warn?

[Barb123]

I tried a new approach this Christmas!

I wanted to make my gift a complete theme: plan a complete a date; beautiful show that she has hinted she wants to attend, shop for the perfect outfit with all accessories, scarf and matching jewelry.

How romantic.

I went into Coldwater Creek and saw "it". I damn near bought the whole mannequin: I was trying to imagine...The skirt was a earth-tone print with some coldish pattern (classy), a creamy white cam top with a beige button-down sweater and embroidered scarf and topped it all off with a very nice necklace and earrings. Now all i needed was tickets to a musical / acrobatic show: Crique du Soliet.

Perfect, I thought.

She did not say much about it Christmas morning but other stuff was going on.

Now She waited until the night before, the Sunday noon show. By this time, she had been stewing alone about this outfit for a week and I was about to get her opinion of it. To make the moment special, it was 10 pm and we have just had a very frustrated event with our adult son who lives with us and she is tired. She did have every right to be tired from the day, but stewing alone is something she does on her own.
She throws the clothes on and pronounces that “this would have been nice 10 years ago but the skirts hits me so my legs look fat, I do not have shoes that go with it and it is cold and have to go up a long escalator."

I start thinking there is a problem. Wow! O'K then. I just smiled. Said, then you could go with the black sacks

I recalled the old saying once shared long ago on a special night: “Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?".

Lesser guys would taken this a complete rejection. I thought about it and smiled broadly and said with my words that 'I think it very pretty but if you want to wear something else I understand.'

Now between you and me, I began imagining how that outfit looked on the mannequin and the then the smile got broader and really a fun when I said to myself quietly:, "you know, that I would look great in that outfit and I do have the right shoes.”
I would never do that. We will take it back and she can get what she likes.

It was cold. We went to the show and she wore her black slacks and vest and she looked comfortable and warm. And I smiled warmly and I went to the show in my black pants and black gray sweater and I got a warm feeling inside imagining how Barb123 would have looked going up that escalator in her earth-tone print skirt, knee length, creamy white cam and beige sweater and the scarf, Did I mention the jewelry? and that I had the perfect shoes? Wow!

I was once told that I should 'learn to do with within. When I am doing without.'

What would you have done?

[Rianna Humble]

I think your response was just right - you considered her feelings and didn't try to pressure her into dressing the way that you wanted.

I don't know how comfortable your SO is going out with you dressed, so I cannot wholly comment on the idea of you wearing her new dress instead. I think that would probably only work if she already shares her newest outfits with you as a matter of course.

[Barb123]

My SO not at all tolerant.

Barb has been active on the side while traveling over the past couple of years. We have been married for 37 years and she knows I still have these thoughts. I have only dressed with her once, 35 years ago.

She found some new pictures about 18 months ago and she blew up. She knows that "it" is not gone but she does not want to talk about it. She knows i have been seeing a counselor every two weeks for the last year and half.

This is just such a pleasant self-thought that produces this great smile. I am sure externally it well exceeds any known event that she could figure out. I just keep enjoying it. I can use it to create or add to a pleasant experience to make an external smile. Maybe the fantasy of actually wearing the outfi,t that was meant for her, adds to the duration of the smile. I do not know.

Is this like rubbing it in?

It is a struggle to keep the cause of the smile in but I can recreate the memory of the outfit and how I would have loved to go dressed up to the event.
Barb123

[Chari]

That outfit sounds so cute, but perhaps you were subconciously hoping from the moment you saw it, it was attire for Barb123. Keep the entire outfit, and maybe when your SO is in a more relaxed mood, she will try it on and look as fabulous as you imagined she would!

[Barb123]

That outfit sounds so cute, but perhaps you were subconciously hoping from the moment you saw it, it was attire for Barb123. Keep the entire outfit, and maybe when your SO is in a more relaxed mood, she will try it on and look as fabulous as you imagined she would!

I like that
thanks
Barb123