A Pre-Post Post & Update

[KrystalA]

I posted a while back about my SO being ok with me wearing panties. Since then, it has progressed to her being ok with me underdressing in panties and bra. She's coming over in a few hours, and I intend to surprise her by changing into full Krystal mode after she gets here. I think she will be ok with it (at least I hope so), but I'm quite nervous about the whole scenario But after all these years of keeping my CDing secret, I just feel I have to come out to someone. So please, girls, keep your fingers crossed for me. I will follow up tomorrow with a full account of what happens, but right now I'm SOOOO nervous! :straightface:

[Dawna Ellen Bays]

Just make sure you go into "full Krystal mode" AFTER she gets there!!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

[ErikaLeigh]

It might be a good idea to ASK first. This doesnt always end up being the best route to take. Start by telling her, then let HER tell you if she wants to see you dressed. Its usually the best way to handle it. Sometimes the shock of seeing someone you love fully dressed can be a deal breaker. My wife has known about Erika for about 4 years now, she is OK with me underdressing, and having my toes painted, but she doesnt want to see me dressed, and never has. Not just speaking from my own experience either, I know many CDs that have taken both routes, usually asking turns out better that dropping it on her.

[Michelle 51]

Honesty is always best but how you go about it differs with relationships so all I can do is wish you luck and hope things work out.Where the SO is involved seem to have good relationships

[KrystalA]

Thanks Erika...yeah, I've been thinking about it, and I've decided I'll ask first. If there's any hesitation on her part I'll wait and ask again at a later date, to gine her time to think it over. Hopefully, if she isn't really into it right now but decides later it's ok, she'll bring up the subject. I know that just asking her won't be a deal breaker. Geez, I'm glad I found this site. The advice given here is very helpful and appreciated. Thankd again.

[Stephanie Miller]

Nice call Erika. Next from Krystal would have been one of those " I should have let her go at her own pace and shouldn't have pushed" posts.

[BRANDYJ]

Hi KrystalA, I am glad to see that you decided to ask first. ErikaLeigh is right, It usually does not go well to present yourself in full dress as a way to get an SO to accept. Your first concern has to be her comfort level and what she is ready to see. I can't say this enough...GO SLOW! You've seen it in may posts before. It takes time for a GG to adjust, understand and be comfortable with this new addition about yourself to her. Don't push it, again, GO SLOW and let her lead. I wish you luck and hope she is all you ever wanted in the way of a partner.

[linda allen]

Why not ask her and then ask her to help you?

[MiamiMarie]

So glad you decided to ask her first. Your SO sounds pretty accepting, so even if she's not ready now it sounds as though she soon will be.

[Roberta Marie]

I came out to my wife 4 years ago. Since then I have been sure that before I make any changes, whether it's the frequency or intensity with which I dress, or shaving anything from my mustache to legs to chest, we discuss it. Invariably, her first response is, "It's your body, do what you want." But, with further discussion, she usually points out some potential problems, often some that I had not thought about, offers some suggestions to help with the process, or occasionally will say something like, "I kind of like the hair on your chest."

My point is, this journey is a continual process. We continue to learn about ourselves long after we come out. Communication with your partner will not only make this journey much more pleasant, but can help it along quite a bit. During all of these discussions I not only have learned a lot about myself, but I have learned a lot about my wife and a lot about our relationship.

Grace,
Bobbi

"Talking is sharing. Listening is caring."

[KristaE]

I'm glad my wife does not like hair on my chest or 'down there'.... She does have an issue with me shaving legs and armpits, but I've been doing it almost every other day for the last few weeks and there hasn't been any blow out... she knows and, as described in another thread, is taking it well. Maybe she doesn't "like" it, but she accepts it.

[Roberta Marie]

I'm glad my wife does not like hair on my chest or 'down there'.... She does have an issue with me shaving legs and armpits, but I've been doing it almost every other day for the last few weeks and there hasn't been any blow out... she knows and, as described in another thread, is taking it well. Maybe she doesn't "like" it, but she accepts it.


Out of respect and gratitude to my wife, I shave my chest only as low as I need to for the top that I'm going to wear. That leaves enough hair for her to enjoy, but I get to wear the clothes that I want. It's a small compromise on my part, but goes a long way to helping her accept my crossdressing.

Grace,

Bobbi

"Talking is sharing. Listening is caring."

[KrystalA]

This will be kinda long, so please bear with me. Everyone advised me to take it slow coming out to my SO, so yesterday I asked her how she'd feel about seeing me dressed as a woman. I was so nervous. She just chuckled and said she'd probably be jealous because I'd look better in a skirt than she does. Then she asked me why I was so nervous 'cuz she'd noticed my hands shaking. I said I was worried about her reaction to the question. She said something like 'Well, you seem to be more worried about it than I am'. She said if I thought she'd get rid of me for something like this, I must be crazy. She said maybe we should wait a day or two until I got it into my head that it wouldn't bother her in the least, and that she was actually looking forward to it. Seems like she already knew it was coming. So anyway, she won't be here today, but tomorrow (Saturday) I'm gonna do it. I'm still nervous about it, but I'm so happy about her acceptance of the idea, I'm sure everything will turn out ok. I'll let you know, and thanks for being my sounding-board.

[Shari]

It's deja vu all over again Krystal.
This sounds exactly like a conversation I had with my SO three years ago.
Everything went great and it continues to this day for me.
The door is open.
Time to walk through.

[Jay Cee]

Happy to hear how well it is going, Crystal.

[Tina B.]

It was over thirty five years ago, I told my wife, I've been happily dressing at home every since! Sounds like you have a great future ahead. But if I could offer one peace of advice, dress Conservative Saturday, nothing to sexy. After the first time, you will have a better idea of what she is comfortable with. Good luck, have fun with it, and relax, it sounds like she has already accepted it.
Tina B.

[Bethany38]

I am so happy for the two of you. I know also how it feels to have an accepting SO. It makes life so much easier. I wish the both of you much happiness.

[Alice B]

I think it is wonderful that she shows acceptance in advance. I think the two of you will have a lot of fun together and can grow stronger as a couple.

[NicoleScott]

How about: "I'll be full en femme tomorrow night if you want to come over and see me."?

[JulieC]

it wouldn't bother her in the least, and that she was actually looking forward to it. Seems like she already knew it was coming. So anyway, she won't be here today, but tomorrow (Saturday) I'm gonna do it. I'm still nervous about it, but I'm so happy about her acceptance of the idea, I'm sure everything will turn out ok. I'll let you know, and thanks for being my sounding-board.

The first time a woman saw me in any femme clothes was a girlfriend from a long time ago, who requested I wear pantyhose for her sometime. I screwed up the courage to do it once, and went over to her house underdressed in pantyhose. I was shaking so hard I probably registered on a richter scale on someone's earthquake monitor!

It all worked out fine. I think you'll find that too. Sounds like you've found a real keeper! Shower her with appreciation!

[PretzelGirl]

That is awesome Krystal! You handled it well and the first step goes positively. So please tell us how it goes today. From the sounds of it, you should now be able to talk frankly with her about your dressing. My only extra advise is to spread things out. She appears quite accepting, but even an accepting person can be overwhelmed with too much. So give her the ability to set the pace. Yea!!!! I am happy for you.

[Raychel]

You handled this awesome Krystal. First asking if she would mind seeing you dressed, then giving her the time to respond and accept the fact. It sounds like you were way more nervous then her. She is a great woman, Be sure to treat her that way and kkeep her around for a very long time.

[Jennifer in CO]

so Krystal...how'd it go?

it was kinda funny how my girlfriend (and still wife) found out 36 years ago. She saw me at a mixer the first night at college as Freshmen. She said she saw me from the rear wearing a sports jacket...nice shoulders, tight cute ass, but based on how I was dressed she thought I was a girl. She said she thought to herself she isn't a Lesbian but why was I so attractive to her. Several days later we actually met and she was quite relieved to find out I was a boy. A bit fem, but she liked the package. Thats how we started.

Jenn