spouse suport

[jerri kelly]

after 2 wives and many gg friends in my 49 years how does so many sisters get suport from there better half. it is hard to believe. lucky girls.

[paulacd]

I guess luck has a big part to play with it - not every gg is understanding, no matter how you tell them.

For me, honesty has always worked, along with asking the gf to be involved in it rather than try to shut her out and 'sneak' around. (My previous long term relationship was exactly the same and finished for a reason not related to my cd'ing)

However, it's also important to understand the limits of your gf/wife - mine isn't happy about me wanting to wear wigs & makeup or wanting to go out. Much as I'd love to, I have to reach a compromise to show my love for her as well.
I just wear wigs & makeup when she's out (which she is aware of), and then hopefully in the future I can persuade her to maybe go to a TV event, or night out.

Patience is a virtue which caring people possess - I can only look to the furture & hope!!

Paula.

[Julie York]

Hi,
If you look up a few posts from this one, at the top of the page there is an excellent article called How To Tell Your Spouse.

[GypsyKaren]

I'd say it's definately luck in finding the right person. My wife is totally supportive of me. We had a few bumps in the road, it took her some time to completely understand me, but once she realized that it's who I am, and that I have no control over it and can't change, she has been great.

GypsyKaren

[DonnaT]

Luck has a good deal to do with it. Especially when one finds their soul mate and she is not closed minded.

Taking it slow when bringing up the issue helps.

Being totally honest is a must.

Some need to come to a site like this for support.

There are a number of ways, but not all will work, if any do at all.

It's taken 29 years for my wife to get to where she is today. A lot of patience on both of our parts.

[Rachael Warren]

Introducing her to this site and the wonderfull GG's we have here may help, It did in my case.

Like anything to do with a relationship though it requires that both of you work at it, and it may take some time.

Like Marina, Freya and I have taken over fifteen years to get this far.

Good Luck, Rachael. :)

[Billijo49504]

On my experience, I used the old thing of honesty from the start. Of course my wife was my house keeper and baby sitter. I was a widower, with 2 kids. She used to do the laundry, still does, but asked about the extra underwear. So I told her. That was 21 years ago. Yesterday, we went to Lane Bryant, one of our favorite stores and had 4 of the Real Woman Dollars, $25 off of $50 for each one. We bought $205 and it cost us $105. And half the stuff was for me. A pair of stretch bootcut jeans, a new bra and several pr of panties.
If you're not just starting a relationship, I like the ideas in the thread on how to tell the SO. Lots of good advice there.

[Tiffy]

Just lucky I guess. But, I would not trade it for the world.

Kisses, April

[Katie Ashe]

after 2 wives and many gg friends in my 49 years how does so many sisters get suport from there better half. it is hard to believe. lucky girls.To keep this short, My wife though I was cheating, She found out I'm the other girl. It's no big deal now. She buy's me things all the time now... She is more supportive than a support group. I wish there were more like her.

[malecynthia]

I can't exactly say when or why I first started crossdressing. I started off with ladies thongs as there was a lot more choice and they looked and felt sexier. It was probably after my wife took a dislike to intercourse that she took a more active role in treating me as Cynthia. I am much less demanding and obey almost anything she asks me to do.
To sum up, when I am Cynthia I don't pester her for sex and I behave in a much more docile manner, so she is a winner all round. I also now enjoy going shopping with her for ladies clothes! :devious:
Cynthia.

[Marla GG]

I agree that the number of members here who have supportive SOs is remarkable. That is one reason I love this group so much. I have been visiting various internet crossdressing sites for about 8 years, and this is the first one I've found where I have been able to come out as an accepting and participating wife, and not feel like a freak of nature. :o

Maybe the high quality of this forum attracts members who have more than their fair share of empathy, sensitivity, and other relationship skills which have enabled them to negotiate better with their spouses. It's hard to believe it's just luck. But whatever it is, I am very glad that so many here are in successful relationships and that you are so willing to share your valuable insights.

[kathy gg]

You aksed how so many get support...I think it is having a mutual respect for each other. Knowing that my feelings are valid and treated with kindness , that my opinions count, and that there is always open communication. yes being open minded helps, but even someone who literally has no 'boundaries' when it comes to cding has some limits that are respected. If things like monogomny and complete honesty were not here (in our relationship) , I would not be here either.

Amanda has shown me nothing but complete love and devotion and I know that the feelings of me and our daughter are always put first in the crossdressing equation. My husband would never do anything to harm our happy little life.

And for all those reasons I impose no limits on when/where/how he can dress. I also know he has enough common sense to know when are good times and when are not so good times to indulge. I cannot think of one thing that he has done to make me feel like I could not trust him. And we are going on over 6 years being married.

kathy in canada