Lifes a bowl of cherries, I wished I had some Icecream.

[gretchen2]

Today I recieved my first hate mail. It was short and the vocabulary was clean. It was still hate though. It does not matter how polite it was or what color you paint it, hate is hate. After eight months in transition and three months full time, I think that this is a turning point where I am going to find out who my friends really are, do they really want to be seen with a tranny. Mean People SUCK!!!!

[crystalann]

I feel your pain, friends are just enemies in training:devil:

[Eryn]

The writer is ignorant. Why waste your time paying attention?

[Jessinthesprings]

What I don't understand: how does our state of being effect anyone other than ourselves? And, why they would even waste the effort and time to pen inflamatory comments.

[tanyalynn51]

Its really sad when that becomes a benchmark in our transition. I havent gotten there yet, but Im assuming its coming.

[AnnaCalliope]

Unfortunately, a significant part of the population still views us as mentally disturbed for wanting to surgically alter our bodies.

I know a TG in Illinois, who's siblings blame her for their parents divorce, because she decided to transition while they were separated, and it was just another reason for Mom and Dad to fight.

Frankly, I don't really care what other people think anymore. I will do what I have to for personal happiness. I will no longer suffer the injustice of a body that doesn't match the mind just because it makes someone uncomfortable.

[Stephanie Anne]

Care to elaborate on why you got hate mail? Curiosity sake only.

[Melody Moore]

Even though I know that one friend doesn't want to seem to have much to do with me since I started to transition, I have found things to be generally the opposite. I have friends that are totally cool with me & what I am doing in my life. I think it shows a better class of person that is willing to accept someone regardless of whatever their differences might be. I think it's more uncool to shun someone who is transsexual because it shows a judgemental bias bigoted attitude. And in this day & age of anti-discrimination laws & equal opportunities that doesn't go down well with a lot of people, especially the courts. I even know that some businesses will employ people who are a little different to mainstream society because it shows customers there is no bias or discrimination within their business & everyone is welcome.

People like the sender of your hate mail are a part of a dying race of people with massive insecurity issues of their own they haven't yet learnt to overcome. I wouldn't pay someone like this any mind & wouldn't waste another second even thinking about some crap like this. Because time is precious & life is far too short. So I hope you can put this behind you and just write that person completely out of your life. Haters like this are just waste of space & perfectly good air. They are not worth even p*ss*ng on if they were on fire.

[Tasha T]

Mean People SUCK!!!!

I agree with you. I received my first blatant hate speech a few weeks ago (since beginning transition). A teenage punk yelled, "Get the f**k out of here! GET THE F**K OUT OF HERE! I don't want to get AIDS from you fa**ot." It did not put me in a good mood to say the least.

[Rianna Humble]

Today I recieved my first hate mail. It was short and the vocabulary was clean. It was still hate though.

Gretchen, I'm sorryyou have had to experience this, it doesn't help that the writer refrained from profanities, but please remember that there are more people of goodwill than of bad. Whatever that particular individual thinks, you are doing what is right for you and will be a better person for it.


I agree with you. I received my first blatant hate speech a few weeks ago (since beginning transition). A teenage punk yelled,

Tasha, I know how much that sort of thing hurts. We may think that we are immune from being wounded by such crass stupidity, but we are not.

Yes mean people do suck, but I have experienced that there are nice people out there and one kind word or gesture can undo all the bile that others may heap upon us. Please don't give up.

[gretchen2]

I’m not really sure why I received such a letter. Since I started the hormones and the T-Blocker my personality has become very mild mannered. I treat people with kindness and respect, I treat them the way I want to be treated. Thank god I have met so many nice people in the last eight months. People who except me the way I am, people, mostly woman who are ok going out in public with me. So no I will not waste my time on such a letter, it just made me a little sad. Thanks all.

[Traci Elizabeth]

why they would even waste the effort and time to pen inflamatory comments.

Why? Because they are so miserable with their own life that they want to inflict that misery on everyone else. Surely, we have all seen these kind of people before. Maybe they are even trying to reach out for help from their own burdens.




Frankly, I don't really care what other people think anymore.


That's very easy to state but there are few people who really don't care who accepts them, and we all want to be loved and felt like we "matter."



People like the sender of your hate mail are a part of a dying race of people...

Wouldn't that be nice if it were true? But I think there will be as much hatred in the world as there always has been until the end of time.


A teenage punk yelled, "Get the f**k out of here! GET THE F**K OUT OF HERE! I don't want to get AIDS from you fa**ot."


He did not want to get AIDS from you? How could he get AIDS from you unless he has sex with you. Maybe that was a compliment that he thought you were so beautiful that he wanted to make love to you! That's how I would take it anyway. Perhaps I would have responded, "Thank-you Sweetie! Come back in a few years when you are older."




...one kind word or gesture can undo all the bile that others may heap upon us...


Now that is a truism worth remembering!

[Melody Moore]

Wouldn't that be nice if it were true?
It can be true Traci if you take the time to be an ambassador & educate. I am not saying you will educate every bigoted ignoramus in the world, but I have had some success lately in softening up a couple of hard-heads who fully accept me now. So there is hope. ;)

[meri]

When anyone lashes out at us -- for any reason (including how we appear), it's because they are afraid of this behavior or "tendency" within themselves. They have looked within themselves, seen this same thing, and pushed back in fear.

Look at it this way, you are doing these folks a favor. It causes them to take another look and reconsider. Perhaps they will give in to the urge and try on that set of earrings they have been secretly craving....

So walk tall and proud and without fear, you are self-actualizing and becoming your authentic self, that, in my opinion, is what this life is all about.

[Michelle James]

I thinks things are changing a little for the better. My wife and I were shopping several weeks back and we heard a young man yell out "Get out of here you effing homo" among other things. The subject of his tirade was young gay man who just wanted to shop like the rest of us. I was heading over to try to stop the madness when a couple of big mouths friend said "Dude, really uncool" He shut up and they left. So my point is not so many years ago that could have ended in tragedy. That being said my hate mail me be in the post as we speak.

[Cindi Johnson]

Quote Originally Posted by Melody Moore View Post
People like the sender of your hate mail are a part of a dying race of people...


It can be true Traci if you take the time to be an ambassador & educate. I am not saying you will educate every bigoted ignoramus in the world, but I have had some success lately in softening up a couple of hard-heads who fully accept me now. So there is hope.

No, these haters are not a dying breed. They may not be a majority, but there are more than a few around, including friends and family. You think not? Well, all you need to do is, while in male mode, listen to co-workers and associates and others, and you'll hear plenty of hate directed towards gays and (although the subject of us comes up rarely) towards TG's, not to mention blacks and Mexicans and Jews and etc., etc... (It does seem to me that haters don't discriminate; those who do actually hate tend to hate all who are different from them, not just us transgendered.)

You can't change these people through dialog or through actions. What you can do is make it less acceptable for them to act out their hate. That means working to assure that laws are enforced, and that they cannot openly spew their hate without some risk of being ostracized by "normal" society. You can only change society by being political. Don't believe it? Look at the success of the bible thumpers in propagating their hate towards us.

BTW, a TG was murdered in Minneapolis last week. It garnered a footnote in the local news only due to the TG aspect. Yes, most don't hate us, but many do.

[Michelle.M]

It's absolutely correct to say that it's sad to think that hate mail, comments, etc are benchmarks in our transition. That you are taking this with grace and a calm demeanor says volumes about you.

On the plus side - 8 months in and this is your first (and hopefully only) hate mail? You must be doing something right to go so long and have mostly acceptance with only this one negative act. Keep at it, you're doing fine, and obviously there are more people who care for you and accept you than there are knuckleheads like the letter writer.

[Hope]

I just had my worst reaction a few days ago.

I emailed a friend from seminary (we were close then but I haven't seen them in years), because there are going to be some public things happening in my life in the next few weeks, so I am sort of preparing a soft landing for those who will hear about it - I want ti to be from me and not the gossip mill.

Anyway, so I emailed my friend and told him about all the things going on in my life. 2 days later he and his wife emailed my wife to offer their support during this "difficult time for her." I still haven't heard anything back from them.

We definitely learn who our friends are, and who they are not, and I have often been surprised.

[gretchen2]

Stand and rise and we shall be seen. We are a people of strength and determanation, we will not fall. I'm not much of a history buff, but Winston Churchhill once said, and I am heavily paraphrasing "We shall defend our island whatever the cost may be" and I know that there is more I just don't remember it. We are a Transsexual island and my way of protecting it is simple. Project positive energy towards all, even the mean people who suck.

[Debglam]

It's absolutely correct to say that it's sad to think that hate mail, comments, etc are benchmarks in our transition.

Is this true? As a humble CD'er, I'm flabbergasted! Do people really care that much? This makes me very sad!


Why? Because they are so miserable with their own life that they want to inflict that misery on everyone else. Surely, we have all seen these kind of people before. Maybe they are even trying to reach out for help from their own burdens.

Absolutely!


Stand and rise and we shall be seen. We are a people of strength and determanation, we will not fall. I'm not much of a history buff, but Winston Churchhill once said, and I am heavily paraphrasing "We shall defend our island whatever the cost may be" and I know that there is more I just don't remember it. We are a Transsexual island and my way of protecting it is simple. Project positive energy towards all, even the mean people who suck.

Transgender Island, or better yet, an island of all people of goodwill!

[Tasha T]

I know how much that sort of thing hurts. We may thinkthat we are immune from being wounded by such crass stupidity, but we are not.

Yes mean people do suck, but I have experienced that there are nice people out there and one kind word or gesture can undo all the bile that others may heap upon us. Please don't give up.

Don't worry I'm not giving up, but I was furious when that teenager said those awful things to me. Everything from going up to him and verbally putting him in his place, to beating him up, to actually killing him went through my mind. Fortunately good sense prevailed and I just ignored him and walked away.

On the way home that night the opposite thing happened to me. A woman who recognized that I'm transgendered was as kind and as loving as someone could possibly be towards me. It really did make up for the crap that had been dumped on me just a few hours earlier and I felt a whole lot better.


He did not want to get AIDS from you? How could he get AIDS from you unless he has sex with you. Maybe that was a compliment that he thought you were so beautiful that he wanted to make love to you! That's how I would take it anyway. Perhaps I would have responded, "Thank-you Sweetie! Come back in a few years when you are older."

I thought the best thing to do was just walk away from this person without saying anything. I think he was trying to impress the "gangsta" friend he was hanging out with and spewing hate on a trans person was an easy way to get some tough guy points. I did see the teen look at me more than once so perhaps I did trigger something inside of him that he couldn't deal with. When he made the AIDS comment I thought the same thing you did and came to the conclusion that he was just a moron and not worth the time of day.