Bond.........Jane Bond

[EllieOPKS]

Before I pose a question, let me give a very brief explanation of my thoughts. When I first joined this forum my mind set was I will NEVER leave the closet. It is a safe house for my fantasy. I was appalled at those of you who would dare step out in public. I now feel like I have evolved into much more self awareness and comfort so I got to thinking....
The thing that excites me about the thought of stepping out is I would be completely leaving Eli behind and present as an entirely different person to the world. Not in a Cybil kinda of way but kinda of a secret agent with the ultimate disguise being able to mix and mingle in public converted into Ellie. Does anyone else feel this way? Do you feel as though you leave your original personality behind and become a new person that you created? and again, not in some wierd physco way but with a total awareness of the new you. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Ellie

[happy2cd]

I feel like me no matter what I am wearing so I am not a good one to respond. I do not have a female persona to put on, things feel different when I am dressed but I do not have a different walk or talk that I am aware of, though I have so far avoided having to talk to anybody but two security guards (one at a hotel with no wig and one at work with a wig calling from a distance) while dressed.

I discovered this website at a time that I was starting to want to dress more often and reading the posts about other people going out made finally get up the nerve to do so. So even though I had the run in with the hotel security on my first walk through a hotel at 3AM, I was convinced that life is too short not to leave the confines of the closet.

[shayleetv]

I guess that I am opposite of the norm. When I was in Cub Scouting and participating in skits I always got the girl parts because it didn't bother me. My mom took it to the competitive level with another mom whose son played the girl parts in his den. We both had the works done to us, wigs, clothes, shoes and makeup. about a third of the monthly meetings I was in girl mode. This carried over into my daily life and during the day before mom and dad got home from work I'd get dressed and walk in adjoining neighborhood that I was not known in. During the summer of those years my sister and I played girly games and on some occasions we would catch the bus and go downtown shopping as sisters. When in my twenties and married the desire to go out in public was lost and has never come back. So it is enough for me to dress for myself and show an occasional picture of me on this site. That seems to be enough.

[Sarah Doepner]

Ellie,
My personality doesn't change too much any more with the clothes I wear. The parts of my personality that I emphasize do change somewhat, but that's going away. Physically, I do try to avoid causing an obvious contradiction between how I look and how I behave when I do go out. So I don't swagger when I'm wearing a skirt and I try not to drag my knuckles when I have a nice manicure. The process over the years has been more of finding the aspects of my personality that merit sharing regardless of who I may appear to be. It's gotten rid of a lot of unneeded behaviors and attitudes.

[EllieOPKS]

I guess that I am opposite of the norm. When I was in Cub Scouting and participating in skits I always got the girl parts because it didn't bother me. My mom took it to the competitive level with another mom whose son played the girl parts in his den. We both had the works done to us, wigs, clothes, shoes and makeup. about a third of the monthly meetings I was in girl mode. This carried over into my daily life and during the day before mom and dad got home from work I'd get dressed and walk in adjoining neighborhood that I was not known in. During the summer of those years my sister and I played girly games and on some occasions we would catch the bus and go downtown shopping as sisters. When in my twenties and married the desire to go out in public was lost and has never come back. So it is enough for me to dress for myself and show an occasional picture of me on this site. That seems to be enough.

So Shaylee your circumstance differs since others put you in the female role. But did you feel your actions and mannerisms differed from when you were dressed as a boy?

[EllieOPKS]

Ellie,
My personality doesn't change too much any more with the clothes I wear. The parts of my personality that I emphasize do change somewhat, but that's going away. Physically, I do try to avoid causing an obvious contradiction between how I look and how I behave when I do go out. So I don't swagger when I'm wearing a skirt and I try not to drag my knuckles when I have a nice manicure. The process over the years has been more of finding the aspects of my personality that merit sharing regardless of who I may appear to be. It's gotten rid of a lot of unneeded behaviors and attitudes.

I lke your thought process and got a good chuckle out of the knuckle dragging. For myself, as I said earlier I think I am in an evolving process. Maybe some day I will be mature enough to follow your process as it sounds like a wise way to live. Thanks for sharing.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm a work in progress and still have a long way to go. Maybe that's one of the things that's so attractive about crossdressing. Once you accept it there is always a new challenge and reward to be had.

[carhill2mn]

Whenever I am en femme, whether at home alone or going out, I do my best to look and act like a lady at all times. Consequently, I abandon my male traits, characteristics as much as possible.

[Kate Simmons]

At one time I had planned on starting a detective agency and Ericka (who I was then) was going to be the field operative. Beauty, action and adventure all the way.:battingeyelashes::)