What should I do?

[SusanCACD]

I have a lady friend at wok and she is a cutie. Just a few years younger than me and she has the sexiest accent (Russian). Anyway, we stop and talk when we cross each others paths and I visit her in her office sometimes. One day not to long ago she said she would like to see "my other side", and I just brushed it off as I do when ever anyone says something about dressing up. She seems to know about transvestites ("they can not change their feet or hands") so I wonder if her saying/asking that is a genuine request. I would love to do this for her and for me but I try to keep work and home life separate. I have been living alone for about 3 years and I have seem to have lost my desire to dress up but it is always on my mind. Any help? I am not sure how to handle this.

Susan

[Mistybtm]

What do your feelings tell you. I would go with that. also is there any relationship going on with you and the woman at work, or could there be. I would build on that first than introduce your other side if you are comfortable with doing so.

[Jodygurl]

I wasn't totally clear on whether or not she knew you dressed. (If so, I'd love to know how that came up) If she knows for sure and isn't just guessing, I'd say "nothing ventured, nothing gained". I'd ask her to clarify her request. She may have only meant she'd like to see you outside the office. Both are gambles, of course, but you know the job perameters and have to make that call.

[gaylegirlify]

:daydreaming:I agree with Mistybtm, you may be looking a gift horse in the mouth here so to speak, try the slow approach perhaps a date and go from there, good luck.

[Teresa Ann]

Hi Susan
I think you have a great opportunity, but take it easy. I would ask her out away from work and ask her what she is thinking she would like out of her question and tell her that with her help you are willing to try to show her your ( other) side. let her know that it would be a start of something great. And good luck keep us informed on how it goes . Teresa

[Jackiefl]

and your question issssssssssssssssssssss!

[eluuzion]

In an atmosphere where my behavior could potentially affect my income (the "office"), I act accordingly. I become the person that I would want my office "friends" to profile later, should they ever become my "enemies".

I would not share anything with a "co-worker" that I would not share with the person that has the authority to end my employment.

:love:

[docrobbysherry]

I wasn't totally clear on whether or not she knew you dressed. (If so, I'd love to know how that came up) If she knows for sure and isn't just guessing, I'd say "nothing ventured, nothing gained". I'd ask her to clarify her request. She may have only meant she'd like to see you outside the office. Both are gambles, of course, but you know the job perameters and have to make that call.

What Jody said!
Susan, you've left out too much for me to even understand your QUESTION!? Much less give u my 2 cents!

[Oilpainter35]

My thought isn't that she wants to see, or knows about your dressing up, but rather the other side she is talking about may be the side of you that isn't at work. The side that is away from work. Innocent enough..................................Drew

[Megan Thomas]

office romance at your peril, and that's a straightforward one. The problem is what happens when it all goes wrong and you have to work together.

[sissystephanie]

Her question about "seeing your other side" may not have anything to do with dressing!! Maybe she was hinting at meeting you outside of work!! As Megan said, that can be a peril at times, but it also can be fun. Why not just ask her what she meant by her comment. Remember, Russian ladies probably do things differently than we do! I would definitely leave the CD'ing completely out of the picture for the time being. Could cost you your job if you are not careful.

[Patty B.]

I agree with the work and pleasure thought, can be a real bad idea.

[t-girlxsophie]

I think basically you need to clarify what she meant,only then can you decide how to proceed from there,I understand ppl saying friendships (not neccessarily romance)could have a negative Impact on work,but only you will be able to work that out,All my Friends at work know I dress and it hasnt had any negative impactso it DOES work both ways

:hugs:Sophie

[Christy_M]

In an atmosphere where my behavior could potentially affect my income (the "office"), I act accordingly. I become the person that I would want my office "friends" to profile later, should they ever become my "enemies".

I would not share anything with a "co-worker" that I would not share with the person that has the authority to end my employment.

:love:

Great advice. People can easily get themselves into a situation by assuming what was heard is what was meant. What exacerbates this IMHO is our need to be accepted and have people who know about us be happy for us. This could easily make us do things out of character which could jeopardize our income, families or other relationships. Tread lightly and as long as you know and understand the potential consequences, you are more likely to make a decision where you can live with the outcome.


office romance at your peril, and that's a straightforward one. The problem is what happens when it all goes wrong and you have to work together.

Again, this should be part of the decision since there are so many relationships that go south for a variety of reasons and this becomes a weapon used against someone just out of spite.

Now with all that said, if this is truly inaucuous, enjoy yourslef and make a good friend by being your true self. I really do hope it works out for you.

Christy

[SusanCACD]

OK, Thank you all that posted. In earlier threads I had said I was outed at the company and I just kinda assumed she knew about me, she has in the past asked me to tell her "my secret". She is a really wonderful lady and I so much love her company as so many others do. I am just afraid of what "might" happen as many of you girls have pointed out. I guess I am in about the same place as when I asked for help. I guess everything is truly up to each of us to find our own happiness, jeez it is tough to be like this. Thank you all, your sweethearts, everyone.
Susan

[Megan Thomas]

only you truly know the feelings and the risks involved. Whatever you finally decide to do, do it slowly and after much thought. There is an old saying about haste and repenting at leisure. It's not an old saying without good reason.

Good luck in your decision. I truly hope it works out as you desire :)

[kimdl93]

If you've been "outted" and it seems to be common knowledge, then there's little to fear. You've been somewhat open about dressing with her already. She asked for a reason. People generally say what they mean. If she wasn't interested in this part of you, she would not have brought it up. Stop worrying and live a little!