How many of you honestly feel like "women trapped in mens' bodies?"

[MiamiMarie]

Do you dress because you really feel like a woman trapped in a man's body sometimes? Or is this the dividing line between CD and TS?

In other words, do CDs dress because it just somehow feels right? They like the fabric? They sometimes enjoy acting like women? Or do CDs with no thought of transitioning in any way, feel "trapped" in their own bodies?

[Dawna Ellen Bays]

I don't feel "trapped" in any way whatsoever. CDing is something I enjoy, but it's not something I want to do all the time. I'm quite comfortable in my own skin...I just need to lose weight...

I was born male, and I wholly believe it's what I am supposed to be, and I don't feel otherwise, ever...

[Katesback]

I have said it before and will say it again. I have a feeling that a LOT more CDs out there are actuallly TS but for 1000 different reasons (or excusese depending on who you are talking to) choose not to transition.

[Sarah Jane]

I don't really feel trapped, but I do wish I was born female. Dressing makes me feel better, makes it easier to feel like a woman for a moment.
It is not an absolute requirement though. When there's nobody (and no mirror:) ) around, I sometimes manage to become comfortable with myself without the clothes. Mostly while reading a book or playing the piano (I'm terrible, don't ask).
I'm not quite sure whether I'm TS or just on the deviding line as you say, but I know that if I could flip a switch and restart as a female, I would.

[Paula_56]

I have said it before and will say it again. I have a feeling that a LOT more CDs out there are actuallly TS but for 1000 different reasons (or excusese depending on who you are talking to) choose not to transition.

Kate-- I agree with you, in that I don't think there are CD's over here and TS's over here. I believe that you can be some or both nobody is a like some of us my fit more into one catogory or another, but that's why I say I am transgendered.

I generally live the life of a crossdresser, but I know I would be very happy living as a woman. I do have 1000 different reasons why I don't transtion.

[StaceyJane]

Kate, I'm going to agree with you too. I spent a long time telling myself that CDing was enough.

But it isn't. I have to move forward or live a life of regret.

[linda allen]

I don't feel "trapped" at all. I was born male and I enjoy being a male and doing male things. I just like to "pretend" to be a female from time to time. I wish I could experience being a female but I'm pretty sure I would want to go back to being a male. It would be really nice to be able to switch back and forth at will.

[Jess Marie]

Linda said it best for me. I like to wear womens clothes for the rush of feeling like a woman. It's not something I want to be full time. I wear panties full time, but thats for comfort and I do feel sexy in them, but thats not the point. I am very happy as a guy, doing guy things... in panties :)

[Charleen]

Me, I feel trapped. Born with the wrong plumbing.

[Emily_3]

I also feel trapped, same reason as Charleen, born with the wrong plumbing

[Rianna Humble]

To an extent, Kate is right that there are TS out there who will not admit it to themselves and who hold back from transition for their own reasons. I do think that one characteristic that can distinguish a TS is knowing that you were born in the wrong body. In my case I am a woman in a man's body. I do not believe this to be true of non TS cross-dressers. Having (or not having) that knowledge does not make one person superior to another, it merely differentiates them.

Non-transsexual cross-dressers may dress for a variety of reasons including (but not limited to) the feel of the fabric, because it makes them feel good, or for sexual excitement. In my estimation, each of those reasons is valid for the individual concerned.

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Marie, I can only speak for myself and what I have learned over the years by reading everything I could get my hands on about crossdressing. It all started for me when I was about 11 years old and just going through puberty. The very first encounter with women's clothes was my mother's white nylon full slip hanging on a hook on the back of the bathroom door. Don't ask me why, but I felt it and then somehow decided to rub my privates on it. Without going into detail, that resulted in the first orgasm in my life. Talk about scared, I had no idea what an orgasm was. All I know is it felt good. But I thought I did something that would hurt my body. Odd, I never touched that slip again. But soon after, I found a box in the attic of a vacant apartment over the garage that contained some skirts and tops. I had to try them on for whatever reason. I did this off and on for the next 5 years. Always resulting in sexual satisfaction. At that young age with no place to find out anything about crossdressing, I thought I was the only boy in the world that did such things. I remember feeling like there was something wrong with me. I also remember that when I was really interested in a girl or had a girlfriend, I would stop trying on the clothes I found. Like the girl would know and not approve of this behavior if she found out. I never tried on anything of my mother's or sister's clothes... feeling that would be really wrong. So for me it was no doubt a sexual outlet. I know I liked women and girls. Perhaps more interest in them then other boys might have, No, not just sexual, but everything about them. I adored, loved, respected and honored them. I wondered about their beauty and the differences between them and being a male. I was orphaned at age 16 and then forged my birth certificate and married at age 17. I thought this crossdressing thing would go away after being married. I did not have any feminine clothes and my wife was so small that not a thing of hers would begin to fit me. So during that 5 year marriage crossdressing was almost non-existent. After the divorce and being a happy go lucky bachelor while trying to get over the pain of the divorce ( I loved my wife), I don't remember dressing at all beyond trying on pantyhose and panties that I bought. After three years, i met and fell in love with the woman that would become my second wife. While living together, I felt I had to tell her about my interest in wearing woman's clothes. I did not go well at first...the usual questions and slowly coming around once she know I was not gay or wanting to change my gender. I will never forget the day she woke me up and told me to get dressed since we had to go buy a dress for me. That was a true turning point. Over the next 5 years I learned that I was far from alone and I was free to dress any time I wanted to. My wife participated and my dressing was a non-issue as we both had fun with it as my wardrobe expanded since we wore close to the same size. She would give me her hand-me-downs. She had shared my secret with a trusted girlfriend of hers and even that friend had given me her hand-me-downs. All this is when being a crossdresser started to become much more then just a sexual outlet. I enjoyed my looking and acting like a woman. An escape, a relaxing thing to do. I liked the female image the mirror reflected. I still loved the feel of nylon, satin and lace.
I lost my wife to cancer after 10 good years together. But I was now fully accepting of my being a crossdresser. All this before this thing called the Internet. Three years later I was married again. (1988) I told my new wife about my crossdressing and she took it as matter of fact. She never had an issue with it and also was helpful and playful with it. After 17 years we divorced for reasons that had nothing to do with my being a CD. My current SO is just as wonderful, accepting and understanding as my previous wives were. I truly feel blessed and lucky.
Now to your question: I like being a male and engage in all the normal male things. But I also like my feminine side. I honestly don't want that to change in any way. I like being me, a male that happens to have a feminine side and a male side. No, I would never transition. Do I think that some of my feelings and core values lean toward being a female? I think so. Some of the better traits and emotions of the gentler sex.

Sorry if this was a long way to give you an answer, but I think all of us are different and feel differently about just how much we align with being female.

My opinion from all I read is that the majority of males that crossdress are very closeted or private about it. A very small amount among us dress in public and pass or blend. Of course if you read the many threads about shopping enfem, you'd think that many of us do. Many of us won't even shop for women's clothes while in drab and rely on catalog or Internet shopping. True, many do it for sexual or sensual expression... at least in the early years if not always during their life. As for feeling like a female trapped in a male body? I'm sure that is in degrees too. But yet a smaller amount of us that are in fact transsexual.

[Steph.TS]

I really hate that phrase, it's been used as a joke in the media, I am Male, but I feel like I'd be more compatible with my body if I were Female.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Log me in as a TS who has to play the cards I have. Money (obligations), family, and age stop me from going all the way. You don't transition until it is life or death. I am blessed...I can handle the little man part handicap.


Em

[kimdl93]

Like I've said before, I don't think there's a single dimension to our interests and desires. I often wish I could be a woman, wish I had a woman's body, and spend as much time dressed as possible. But not trapped.

[Roberta Marie]

I was just as confused for most of my life, not being able to come to terms with or understand why I had this need to dress in women's clothes. But then one day I saw a word in an online support group that changed my understanding. "Dual-gendered". It was like the lights came on and a choir started singing the "Alleluia Chorus".

If you think about it, there is very little, if anything in life that exists as a binary or dichotomy. Despite the fact that when we start to learn about any subject we may simplify it for easier understanding, nothing is either/or. We may initially start to learn about things as hard or soft, light or dark, yes or no, black or white, positive or negative, but almost everything exists somewhere in between. So, why can't gender be the same.

That's how I've come to understand myself. I have a mostly male body. But my gender identity is somewhere in the middle, both masculine and feminine. There are times when I feel more masculine, and I feel more "in balance" when I can project or appear more masculine. And there are times when I feel more feminine and I feel more in balance when I can project or appear more feminine. As comfortable, or at times uncomfortable, as I am with my male body, I think I would be just as comfortable or uncomfortable with a female body. So, for me, it would not be worth the expense, pain, or risks, to change my body, just to maintain the same level of comfort.

That's how it is for me. Everybody understands themselves differently.

[Stephanie Anne]

For every CD that is trying to admit they are not TS, there is a TS that rushed blindly through transition and now tries to convince themeless and others they did the right thing.

Not every crossdresser is a woman trapped in a man's body. Not every transsexual needs to transition. There are even transsexuals who never crossdresed before transitioning just like there are crossdressers who like being a man's man.

[Karren H]

I'm not trapped in the wrong body.... My body is trapped in the wrong world.... Or dimension..

[Sara Jessica]

For every CD that is trying to admit they are not TS, there is a TS that rushed blindly through transition and now tries to convince themeless and others they did the right thing.

Not every crossdresser is a woman trapped in a man's body. Not every transsexual needs to transition. There are even transsexuals who never crossdresed before transitioning just like there are crossdressers who like being a man's man.

As I was reading through the responses, nodding in agreement to some (a few of which I was going to quote), I get to the end and find that Stephanie Anne sums it up brilliantly, at least for me. So here's my take...

Knowing myself pretty darned well and how my gender was an issue from my earliest memories, then ignoring it to the point where I built myself quite a life (family/career/etc), I consider myself a non-transitioning transsexual. For me, it's now life along a middle path in an attempt to find some sort of balance. Yet as time goes by, my heart is squeezed a bit tighter, the noise in my head gets a bit louder, and I find myself pushing the envelop more than I should.

I guess the easiest way to convey what my motivations are is to say that while my feminine being is compartmentalized for the most part, I do try to live that existence to the fullest, hopefully without going over the line, so to speak. But speaking to the gist of the original Q, trapped? That's kind of a harsh word and I'd probably feel the squeeze tighter and the noise louder if I allowed myself to feel that way. It is what it is, I'm doing the best I am able.

[Leanne2]

I am a transgender woman or M to F TS. But show me in the same situation as Emily Ann. I just have to learn to deal with the cards I have been delt. Leanne

[Tina B.]

Some days, I could look you in the eye and say, I'm a CD'er and that's all I am. But then there are the days, that I just can't wait to dress, and bring out my girly side, and then I realize I could play this part for life, and never look back. Sex has not been a part of my dressing for years, but I dress more than ever. I've had a very good life as a man, but I will always wonder if I could have been even happier, if I had transitioned. I guess I would have to admit to being at least a little TS, if you can be just a little TS.
Tina B.

[Christie ann]

count me in. I definitely wish I had been born a girl

[Holly]

Trapped? No, I wouldn't say that. Assigned to the wrong team would be more like it. Under the circumstances, I've played the best game I could. I married a wonderful woman, raised some amazing children, had a great career. I don't have a single regret. And yet in the back of my mind I have always dreamed of being traded to the other team. It's too late now. Too many people would be hurt. I'll continue to play the cards I've been dealt. And I'll continue to learn from the other team. Over all, I think it has made me a better player in the game of life.

[Jennifer_Ph]

I have no desire to look like, act like, or be a woman. The picture in my avitar is from 10 years ago when I had a professional makeover. I thought I had to do all the make up and fake boobs etc. to enjoy what I liked the most - the clothes. I love skirts, high heels, and hosiery. I have a few dresses, but nothing to talk about. I have no desire to 'pass'. The only thing I wear publicly that might be considered 'fem' is pantyhose. I wear them in male mode with shorts just about everywhere - unless I'm going to be welding. All my friends and family know I wear hose, as they've all seen me in them. It's just normal now. I haven't gone out and about in skirt and heels in male mode, but I am tempted to. So I am a man in a mans body that really likes the added fun and comfort that womens clothes offer. Mens clothes are just so freakin boring. And mens shoes... don't even get me started. They, in a word, suck. ;-)

[Pythos]

I am a male that does not like being limited in my looks or the clothing I wear based on my sex. I DO NOT want to transition and have no intention to do so.
I view women as equals (which is a source of disappointment when I hear of women "wanting" to be inferior, usually due to some teaching they got in their growing up). I think sexually based limitations are absolute BS, and need to go away.

When I really look at it, I am in several ways androgynous. I don't really do any "manly" things, or I do things that for a long time were "manly" and limited to only males (car work, flying), but I also enjoy "feminine" stuff too (fashion, makeup designs, ), everything else I do is unisex, for lack of a better term. But then again I think most things are unisex, there really are few things in this world that are characteristic of one sex or the other.

I know on gender tests I usually get right in between male and female thinking. Which is fine by me. It is just the outside world that has issues.

As I have stated many times, if I could go about skirted, with my hair how I like, and makeup, and still be "male", I would be happy.

Women did it, it is time for men to do it too.

I just wish I was not born in such a stupid world that limits on such unimportant things. :)

[dennisGTS]

Like linda, I don't feel "trapped" at all. I was born male and I enjoy being a male and doing the stereotypical male things. The difference is, if my "life" allowed it, I would want to dress as a female all the time. And it would be really nice to be able to switch back and forth from male to female at will...although, I think I'd be female mode majority of the time. After that last comment, as confusing as it sounds, I could live my whole life as a male who loves to CD and never have the feeling of a "woman trapped in a man's body".

[Kathi Lake]

Trapped? No, I don't feel trapped. I chose - and continue to choose - this life. Am I a 'mere crossdresser' or am I closer to being transgendered. I dunno. I don't want to think about it, actually. I like where and who I am right now. I live the blissfully-uncomplicated life of a male most of the time. Occasionally, I get to put on the outer trappings of a woman. Of course, the question remains; am I doing this because I'm really a woman inside? Am I doing this in an attempt to 'put things right?' Am I doing it just for fun? I don't know, and more importantly, I don't care.

Sure, I could put a lot of thought and angst and therapy into this, but as I said, why bother. I'm happy! If I've learned anything in this crazy life, it's this - if something is working, don't screw it up!!

Simplistic I may be, but hey, at least I look and feel damn good while doing it!

:)

Kathi

[Debra Russell]

I dont feel as if I were born in the wrong body, I have told my wife that I would change places with her for a while -- she said to be careful what you wish for, and I probably wouldnt like it. I do feel as though Debra is confined and awaiting parole though.:sad:

[Sally24]

I feel much more comfortable as a women but have adapted to the male role for over 50 years. I would probably choose female if given a choice. As it is, part time is usually enough to make me feel comfortable. I'd classify myself as more TS than CD.

[Cristi]

I'm just a crossdresser trapped in a man's body.

In fact, I LIKE being a man and all of these questions of 'would you switch' usually end up with me deciding that I wouldn't want to be a woman full-time.

It is a man's world. I like sports, I like beer, I (mostly) like hanging out with other guys. I'm satisfied with being a girl just something I do 'on occasion'.

[Daintre]

I don't like the word "trapped" as Holly said, I feel like I was assigned to the wrong team. Being a team player, I did my best to make a good thing out of what could have been a great misery. I played the guy "roll" all my life until I just couldn't do it anymore. It cost me a lot, a failed marriage, scorn from "friends" and backs being turned by some family members. The things I hold dearest to myself are the love of my son and little sister, who both know the real me and are there for me. It doesn't matter what I wear, what does matter is what is on the inside. Today I feel like I was traded to a team that I can blossom in.

[Lorileah]

I have been trapped before so I have an idea what that feels like. It isn't anything like I feel about dressing. When I was trapped I saw only one way out. There may have appeared to be other options but I knew that they weren't really there. There was truly one solution. In this situation I have many choices and alternatives. I have the ability to make a decision and although it may not be the decision I would like to have, I have a choice.

The whole label thing is so nebulous. DQ, CD, GQ, TS, RSVP. When does A become B? Or was it always an absolute that using a different formula gives you a different answer? Emotions and feelings cannot be quantified. Life is full of what if's and If-then's. My current mantra on that is don't regret anything you do, you will regret many things you don't do. Wrong body? Even I had been born in a different gender, I would probably still think it was the wrong body unless for the grace of whatever I had perfect shape, face, mind, whatever.

[JamieG]

No, I don't feel trapped at all. I am happy with my male body and my male identity. However, I do feel constrained by societal pressure to hide the more "feminine" parts of my personality. I don't know if this is what Karen was getting at when she said:


I'm not trapped in the wrong body.... My body is trapped in the wrong world.... Or dimension..

but that's kind of how I feel. If I was in an alternate reality where people didn't care if men sometimes wanted to look pretty, dance gracefully, and get out a good cry when needed, I don't think I'd be trans-anything. I'd be happy being my sometimes pseduo-masculine (I'm not particularly macho in drab) and sometimes very femme self. There's nothing wrong with me, it's everybody else that has the problem! :devil:

That said, I've spent a long time thinking about the issue and trying to figure out how do I know if I'm a crossdresser or transexual? After talking with many CDs and TSs, I seem to see a common theme. M2F transexuals typically:

- know at a much younger age that something was wrong with their gender (~ age 5), while CDing begins to exhibit itself around puberty

- tend to hate their male organs and get little if any enjoyment from them.

Now I am no expert and this is just my observations, so please take this with a grain of salt and don't flame me (although I would be interested in hearing contradictory opinions). However, if my observations are correct, I am definitely CD and not TS.

[arbon]

I never liked the saying I was trapped in the wrong body. For me it does not sit right - this is my body, it is what I have in this life whether I like it or not, it is what I have to work with and live in.

I think as humans everyone is trapped in their bodies to some degree. And people do all sorts of stuff to try escaping it a bit whether drugs or chanting on a mountain or jumping out of an airplane, or whatever. And lots of people or born different, or with diseases and birth defects or have things they don't like about their bodies that they are stuck with.

Some one suffering severely from muscular dystrophy, for example, that has lost the ability to care of themselves physically is much more trapped within their body then I am.

I know tons of people who are non-trans or CD that talk about not being comfortable in their own skins, with who they are.

And really, I feel pretty blessed that I live in a time when there is growing acceptance of the trans and CD communities and there are medical options like hormones and surgery's that were not around not to long ago - that is a big positive. It is a huge positive.

I like the way this woman articulates it the best:

"I am a human being who is neither in a wrong body nor trapped in a wrong body but a human being who is expressing her beingness in one of the various forms of the human body. I am not in a wrong body. I am in this body just like how you are in your body. I am not trapped by my body. I am trapped by your beliefs. And I want to reclaim this body from those who want it to breathe and be fed by their dogmas." ~ Sass Rogando Sasot (http://transpinayrising.blogspot.com/)


What I was trapped by was my own lack of acceptance and my own fear fueled by negative belief of how others might treat me if I expressed who I was - it was my parents, siblings, friends, community, peers in school, everyone - I was afraid they would reject me and be mean to me and thought they would all believe me to be the worst thing in the world if they found out. Having them accept me was more important then me accepting myself for who I was.

Now I have stepped beyond that fear and the path I am on feels very right for me. I am expressing myself and transitioning and feel great about it.

And after writing all that I think I probably missed the intent of the question in OP. Sorry for getting off track.

Simple answer - I am very happy that I am transitioning, I don't like living as a man. :)

[ReineD]

I have said it before and will say it again. I have a feeling that a LOT more CDs out there are actuallly TS but for 1000 different reasons (or excusese depending on who you are talking to) choose not to transition.

Or, they are more flexible with their gender IDs than you are. Not saying you shouldn't be ... you were a TS who is now a transitioned woman. There was no flexibility for you. At one point, you came to know without a shadow of a doubt that you were a woman.

But not all TGs have the same black/white gender definitions as cisgenders and TSs. There are some people who are quite happy being dualgender, once they give up the idea they must be either fully male or fully female. There are also others who are happy being androgynous.

You may choose to look at the inability to decide as some form of denial or people using excuses to not fully commit. I choose to believe that the spectrum is much wider than either/or male/female.

[erica12b]

I feel I was women in a previous life, but i am a male in this one, and I enjoy the guy stuff a lot but I have fond feeling for my fem side too

[kimdl93]

I think you're both right. Some of us might secretly hate our bodies as they are and as the original post suggests - feel trapped in a body and lifestyle that they fear they can never escape. Some of us, myself included grew up accepting our male role, but having that persistent dream of being a woman and a deep seated guilt for feeling that way. Denial may come as a response to guilt. And yet others may have adapted quite happily to a self concept and lifestyle that involves a blending of gender roles. And as ReineD suggests, there is a broad spectrum - as I see it, a multi-dimensional universe with each of us simultaneously occupying some point between a number of polar extremes.

[phoebe61]

I also know i have the wrong plumming, and if i hade the money id have it changed. i hate the thing between my legs eventhough the wife would miss it.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I am not trapped because I can visit the parallel universe anytime I want by simply looking into my mirror and applying some make-up and voila I am teleported through a worm hole into a universe that is where I reside as female. I have the best in both worlds although I can get hindered if I sit on a slatted chair in the shower and get trapped by the twins who won't allow me to get out unless I give them some attention. I just hate my masculine parts, they trap me everytime.

[LilSissyStevie]

When I was little, if you would have asked me whether I wanted to be a girl or a boy, I would have said I wanted to be a girl. Why? Because girls got to wear pretty dresses and play with dolls. They got to play hop scotch and jump rope instead of football and soccer. If a girl went out into the field and picked wildflowers, everybody thought that was cute. If I did it, I was a sissy (as if there was something wrong with that!). Girls were pretty and nice while boys were ugly and mean. And girls didn't get beaten when they broke the rules - at least not in my world.

Of course, I knew that boys had penises and girls had vaginas but It didn't occur to me at the time that those were the defining criteria. It seemed like a minor difference to me. In fact, I thought that having a penis was pretty convienient and everybody would be better off with one. Later on, when I found out what it was used for besides going to the bathroom, it was a little confusing since my sexual instincts were "wrong" but I eventually worked that out. The thing I liked about the idea of being a girl was that girls were allowed (but not really required) to be feminine. I identified with femininity much more than with masculinity. I do not confuse gender (masculine, feminine) with sex (male, female) so my struggle hasn't really been with my body. It's that I'm a feminine male trapped in a world that devalues femininity in both males and females but especially males.

[CherryZips]

No I don't feel like a woman trapped in a man's body. But I do wish I was more handsome as a man and more pretty when I crossdress. Body hopping might be nice. I might wish I had the body of a pretty guy that could pass as a pretty woman. In that sense I have "trannie envy." But envy is no path to happiness and acceptance. I need to accept myself as I am.

I like my "bits" as they are I find the contrast enjoyable. Being safely one sex in appropriate clothes would be terribly dull. There would be no kick.

[Avana]

I absolutely feel like a woman trapped in a male body

[Cynthia Anne]

I feel trapped and always have! For over fifty years I wanted nothing more than to be a woman! And it seems the older I get the stronger that desire gets!

[Cheryl James]

I liked what Holly said about being assigned to the wrong team. That might sum my feelings up. I believe that I would have been happier had I been born a woman, but I have learned to be male and, sometimes, was pretty good at it. I don't plan to ever transition, so CD'ing, for me, is about getting to experience what I feel I was intended to be in the first place. It's not the real thing, of course, but is as close as I can get to it under the circumstances.

[joannemarie barker]

I have feminine mannerisms,I Like men and I love to be dressed but I'm still not in the wrong body :)

[StarrOfDelite]

I sometimes feel like a Gray Person trapped in a World which really would prefer that I was Black or White.

[Debb]

Kate, I'm going to agree with you too. I spent a long time telling myself that CDing was enough.

But it isn't. I have to move forward or live a life of regret.

This is me, too.

With the exception that, as it stands presently, I plan to continue living the life of regret.

It sounds depressing, and sometimes it is ... but like others, I have a few reasons or "excuses" why things must remain as they are. Until I can work through those reasons, I will continue on the path I'm on ... crossdressing as more-than-just-crossdressing.

[Jamiegirl1]

The older I get(I am 52) the more I want to become a woman,I wish I was born a woman!!!!

[carolinoakland]

A cd enjoys the way 'he' feels when he's 'she' and knows the diference. There is no duality with a TS. They are Transexual. The best way to describe GID is this...
Take your shoes off. Put the right one on the left foot and the left one on the right foot. Now look down. No matter what your eyes see you know inside what really is there. Yourself.

[Sharon B.]

I'm with Sarah Jan if I could throw a switch and start over as a female I would.
If I had to depend on what a woman makes I probably wouldn't have what I got as a male.

[Crissy Kay]

A very interesting thread. I do not feel "trapped" in any way. I am very happy being a guy 85 to 90% of the time. The other time I just enjoy being a cd or a sissy in a frilly outfit. I think both my times are what make me a complete individual.

[Soriya]

No, I don't feel trapped at all. I am happy with my male body and my male identity. However, I do feel constrained by societal pressure to hide the more "feminine" parts of my personality. I don't know if this is what Karen was getting at when she said

This is me in a nutshell. Sure I have thought in the past "maybe I am supposed to be a girl" but now that I chose to dress again purely to figure out why I had always done it, I have learned that wanting to be a girl was not the case. Back during those thoughts of maybe I should have been a girl I also just wanted to be anyone else but me, much for the same reasons Jamie mentioned. Physically I am male, mentally I consider myself 50/50 male/female. I like male things, don't have urges to go shopping or doing femine things, I just like to dress up every now and again now. Understanding it now for me has also helped me like my male side more and also, I don't hide the parts of my personality that most people would consider feminine. I have learned to be me and not what I think I should be based on what society says we should be. :)

[Jorja]

I am one who felt like she was trapped. There was only one way out and I tried three times to take that way but failed. One day a very good friend handed me an article about Christine Jorgensen. After reading it, I knew it could be done and I swore that I would become a women. I went to the library (and yes I even had to search through all thoes damn little cards in the Dewy decimal card catalog) an started researching how to transition to a woman. Finally, in May of 1980 I went 24/7. I had SRS in June of 1990. The rest is history.

[Mary Jane]

i don't feel trapped either. I enjoy being male most of the time and dressing when I feel the need.

[Fab Karen]

All CD's are not alike, all TS's are not alike, all black people are not alike, all GG's...

[OccasionalSkirt]

I don't feel trapped. I like being a guy, and I accept that I came into this world as a guy. It doesn't mean I can't dress up once in a while though.

-Jen

[PretzelGirl]

I don't feel like a woman trapped in a man's body.

I don't feel like a man trapped in a man's body.

I don't ever feel extremely masculine.

I don't ever feel extremely feminine (close though).

Nebulous enough? Just call me "Middle of the Road Sue"!

[docrobbysherry]

Yesterday!
Then, I needed to take a shower, so I took my female suit off!:eek:

I'm NOT trying to make lite of this subject. When I began dressing 14 years ago, I was considering a boob job and even SRS!:brolleyes:
However, those thots r LONG PAST!

Now, I'm simply trying to locate my FEM SIDE! It MUST BE in there somewhere!?:doh:

[herwannabe]

Dito

Michelle

[Kate Simmons]

I think the answer is as individual as the people asked. When I was young I thought I had no choice and it was a driving force. I felt at that time my only option was a "sex change" as they called it then. I felt that only by "being " a woman could I rightly express the feelings I had. I decided to put it on hold and get married. Eventually, I decided to more or less live it 24/7. What I found was that I did indeed have a choice and could be anyone I wanted really. I accepted ALL of my feelings, made them my own and placed them under one aegis. Now I'm my own and always the same person regardless of my outward appearance and not ashamed or afraid to express my feelings in any way.:)

[Sophie_C]

Believe it or not, I believe that there sometimes is an overlap between the fetishistic side of things and gender-identity side of things, which is why it sometimes can be confusing. Anyway, to answer the question, I know my nature is pretty much like a typical woman and have just worked with the situation for a very long time. You could say that I am "trapped" in a man's body, but it's such a cliche to say. The funny thing is that because of this, I don't often have a compelling need to dress. I do feel consistently imbalanced and know I definitely would completely transition this second, if the world was 50 years more advanced than it is now...

[TGMarla]

Sara Jessica and Holly summed it up rather well for me. There isn't a day that goes by when at least a part of me wishes I was female. I certainly wish I'd been born that way. I've always described myself as a crossdresser with transexual tendencies. But transition? That ship, I think, sailed long ago, and at this time, I don't forsee it in my future. I do the very best I can as a male, and I've managed to scratch out a rather comfortable life with a loving wife and a decent lifestyle. I'm honored to by my wife's husband, and I love her very much. But I ponder every day that but for a genetic crapshoot, a flip of a coin that came up tails, I might have been female, and I'd likely have none of these transgendered issues floating about in my head. At least I'd like to think so. In any case, things could certainly be worse, and I do my best to not complain about it.

[Being Paige]

I would have to say yes, totally trapped. I wish I had be born a girl! :(

[Laciegurl]

I am very traped! Even from a young age I've wanted to be a frilly female but the world I lived in fought against me. Even at about 12 or 13 years old I was still being mistaken for female. If the world, or at least the world I lived in, was a little different I probably would be a female by now. I wear the clothes because it's what feels good to me but the state of mind is the same. Even my ex-wife has said on many occasions tha I act more like a woman than she does. It's my dream, dressing is just a way to be who I really want to be.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

I think sexually based limitations are absolute BS, and need to go away.

But then again I think most things are unisex, there really are few things in this world that are characteristic of one sex or the other.

It is just the outside world that has issues.

I just wish I was not born in such a stupid world that limits on such unimportant things. :)

Wow Pythos... you took the words outta my head before I could type them! This very much how I feel. As far as the O/P, I have never felt so much trapped in this body as crowded out lol. Theres two of us in here and as much fun as it can be there is also a hectic side too.

*hugs*

Zara

[NathalieX66]

I agree with Pythos. I don't feel trapped internally, it's the external issues (i.e. society) that i have an issue with .
I'm a man who wants to look like a woman but still be a man, mainly because I'm not fond of the male look esthetically. To be honest, I really don't know what gender is, except for clothing and appearance. You figure women these days do all the same things as men do, they just dress & act differently.

[Tanya C]

I certainly don't feel trapped as a cder. To the contrary it is very liberating, and as each day goes by I gain a greater appreciation for the advantage of being able to experience both genders.
Actually, it's non-transgendered people for whom I grieve because they seem to be trapped in a single gender existence, and for some it must be frustrating to be unable to comprehend the appeal of cding.
I wish I could wave a magic wand so that the whole world would "get" cding.

[JohnH]

Count me also as one who does not necessarily feel like a woman trapped in a man's body.

I feel like a two-spirit (60 percent female, 40 percent maie) person trapped in a body that has rigid constraints placed by society. I think I might be happier with my male body if I would be a lot freer to wear what I want - the usual dresses, skirts, hose, heels, and makeup, and if I could get breast augmentation as a male without social ramifications.

I may have mtf HRT in the future to deal with the societal constraints placed on males. A man that expresses his feminine tendencies is scorned. A woman who expresses her masculine tendencies is admired. Hence my two-spirit personality would fit in much better in a feminine body than a masculine body.

As it is I don't see much use being in drab except to go to church where it would be a little disconcerting to see someone appearing as a female singing bass. Even there I have my long hair and I wear lipstick.

On the other hand, it would be fun to sing Johnny Cash's "Rings of Fire" at the local karaoke bar while being dressed en femme...

Johanna

[Kelly Blaine]

Pretty much but the struggle is hard since I am older. Only if I were young again.

[StaceyJane]

I've just started HRT and I really could give a hundred reasons why it's a bad idea.
But I also know that's it something I have to do. I've known it all my life and it's time to stop fighting it.
I don't want to live a life of regret.

[GirlyBits]

I believe that I am supposed to be a woman. IT PAINS ME TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE A MAN!

[Misti]

Hi there! After some considerable soul searching and reading the previous 71 posts, so far, I've decided to toss a small crumb onto this heap, so to speak!
Trapped, hell ladies ("heavens" would be more feminine, I know, however, it's not nearly definitive enough for my purposes herein?), pardon me, but I haven't seen one single post herein, yet, that's addressed the issue of us "closeted," i.e., deeply closeted CDs? At the very least herein every single one of you, so far as I can tell, don't seem to have any real problems (conceived, Oh yes!) to speak of, really? Just think, ya'll (that's Texan for "all of you all") can do any "cotton-pick'en" thing you choose to do - just simply choose your poison: CD, TS, any letter combination, anything what-so-ever? Now, think about that little tidbit of information?
For me, and speaking for all those closeted CDs out there, like me, I can't even "get out en femme," let alone, even consider if I want to be part-time, full-time, no-time, some-time, outwardly/inwardly/any which way I can, be feminine, ever, or so it currently seems?
Note. Times are hopefully changing for me, "X" your fingers for me, will you all please? Pretty please with sugar on it?
For example, I have to slam the door shut instantly on any activity, including writing this little epistle, whenever my wife barges (I've got her knocking now, FYI That’s an “e pluribus Unum" (EPU) of her changes) into my computer room (she has her own computer room, BTW). But only a few of you, so far, have even thought back to your beginnings of "what the hey" was happening to you when the big fellow (not to take His name in vane here?) sat down on that faithful seventh day to rest after designing you as that female you are, but strangely enough, inside a males’ body?
Aha! This is your Captain speaking, "We are at our assigned cruising altitude, you now can get up and move around the cabin!" How 'bout that sports fans? Well, I can't, not yet anyway, because my seat belt is still holding me tight in my WC (yes, that water closet?) seat. Trapped? Ha! I want to even have the chance like “you all” do to get "free enough" to even have that wonderful "feminine" problem/opportunity that is being bandied around herein?
Oh well! Now that that's off my developing B-cup (and clandestinely rising (EPU)), I'm having a ball; a real ball, swinging back and forth between the “two of me.” The one with my new "girls," (EPU), and my new makeover (EPU) (but she doesn’t know about that one, heaven forbid?), and my completely shaved body (EPU) plus my red painted toenails (EPU) (i.e., the ones that my wife painted on me, ever so beautifully for me, and psst! my back that she shaved for me (EPU ), Yes!), is aching to let it all hang out, so to speak - the upper part, not the lower appendages, mind you. Know full well, that I do not wish to transition, I really do love the ability of being able to instantly "flip" that light switch between "ON" and "OFF" of my being 100% feminine in front of my wife (EPU) plus strutting my en femme stuff someday, in public.
As an aside, when I asked my wife, just yesterday, if she wanted the feminine 'New" me (EPU) (i.e., soft, cuddly, loving, caring, rubbing our bare bellies and chests against one another for the very first time since the first of her heart operations 12 years ago, well, you get the picture?), or that masculine "old" me (hard, demanding, driving, tough, forceful, stressful, et al.), she did not hesitate for an instant before she said, "the feminine one!" Yes! Yes! YES! (yet another, EPU). So, when it becomes critical, or when I need to revert back to my life-long, long-lived, male mode, I now just merely flip the switch to "OFF!" When that little diversion is taken care of, the switch immediately goes back "ON!" (EPU again!)
Wow! I'm in love. I'm in love with two (2) wonderful gals! Trapped, yes, but I'm slowly but surely digging my way out of that "MTF WC closeted" cesspool (EPU). Yes! And, please do remember to "Pray for me?"
Long life to all of you ladies, in whatever mode you choose to be in. After all it is your choice, and know you all, that I've certainly made my bed, and want to desperately lay in it, in a Teddy, or a …, well, "you all" get the picture? (EPU? ) Ciao!
Hugs, Misti

[Frédérique]

Do you dress because you really feel like a woman trapped in a man's body sometimes? Or is this the dividing line between CD and TS?

No, I’m not a woman trapped in a man’s body, which may explain why I submit replies in THIS section. I’m an effeminate boy trapped in a man’s body, and if I don’t do something to express this fact I’ll lose the thread entirely, something I cannot afford. According to the time we’re living in, female clothes happen to be the only choice available for such a condition – I dress to get more in touch with what is already there. I feel decidedly less womanly these days – there is little or no femininity per se, but my effeminacy is rampant and comforting…

Is this the dividing line between CD and TS? Could be – also, you must realize I do have a choice in the matter…:straightface:

[Jenniferathome]

I've never felt trapped. I like being a guy, being married and being with my wife. I just happen to love wearing dresses and heels and lingerie.... I've never struggled with the two sides.

[Fiona Lindum]

I am happy with my male body. I just like wearing female clothes.

[Allyson Michelle]

I don't feel trapped per se, but something is definitely not right with the body God gave me.

I like to think of it as being a female (or the male equivalent) born with birth defects.

There are so many different aspects to being TG (which covers anyone who bends the social construct of gender). and I have to agree with Katesback. I think many a CD'ers are TS but are too scared or inconvenienced to admit to themselves they are in fact TS (me in a nutshell until recently). I cant find not one TS person who didnt crossdress first, but not all CD'ers are TS.

[Olivia2]

I'm with several here who say they're more trapped by society than by their bodies. I've always percieved myself to have been a bit more sensitive/emotional than most of the genetic males I've known, although not necessarily effeminate in behavior per se. To be truthful, if I woke up as a female tomorrow and could never change back to male, I'm not sure that I wouldn't feel trapped in that situation. Don't know, but I suppose I'd have a better chance at adapting than a genetic male with no CD/TG history. In any case to answer the question, I don't feel trapped in a male body.

[stephanie1000]

Welll For me i feel Trapped, have a loving wife and two beutiful girls "But" I have wished from a very young age that i wanted to be Female. Problem being that i have a family and feel by going thru the transitioning would cost me. With this i am Depressed and then Aggresive, although i have tried to seek help for this, i am very unhappy and not sure where things will go. Sorry i may have gotten off subject but needed to vent.

[Sara Jessica]

Trapped? No, I wouldn't say that. Assigned to the wrong team would be more like it. Under the circumstances, I've played the best game I could. I married a wonderful woman, raised some amazing children, had a great career. I don't have a single regret. And yet in the back of my mind I have always dreamed of being traded to the other team. It's too late now. Too many people would be hurt. I'll continue to play the cards I've been dealt. And I'll continue to learn from the other team. Over all, I think it has made me a better player in the game of life.

Well said Holly. It speaks well of how it is on the middle path. And I totally agree with the better player thing. I think our perspective does lend itself to having more empathy, patience and even a bit more wisdom in our predominant role.


Simplistic I may be, but hey, at least I look and feel damn good while doing it!

Halleluiah!!!

I've always appreciated your POV Kathi and believe it or not, I often think of it when I'm sorting things out in my own little mind, when my chips are a bit down.


Sara Jessica and Holly summed it up rather well for me. There isn't a day that goes by when at least a part of me wishes I was female. I certainly wish I'd been born that way. I've always described myself as a crossdresser with transexual tendencies. But transition? That ship, I think, sailed long ago, and at this time, I don't forsee it in my future. I do the very best I can as a male, and I've managed to scratch out a rather comfortable life with a loving wife and a decent lifestyle. I'm honored to by my wife's husband, and I love her very much. But I ponder every day that but for a genetic crapshoot, a flip of a coin that came up tails, I might have been female, and I'd likely have none of these transgendered issues floating about in my head. At least I'd like to think so. In any case, things could certainly be worse, and I do my best to not complain about it.

Wow, another sage perspective. Were it not for the flip of the coin, that genetic crapshoot, etc. But one thing that brings me back down to Earth is the fact that what I have built thus far, particularly my wonderful wife & children, wouldn't be had things played out as I might have wished.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

I consider myself a non-transitioning transsexual.

Yes! You finally said the "t-word" in regards to yourself. I win!


For me, it's now life along a middle path in an attempt to find some sort of balance. Yet as time goes by, my heart is squeezed a bit tighter, the noise in my head gets a bit louder, and I find myself pushing the envelop more than I should.

It is what it is, I'm doing the best I am able.

That's an apt way of putting it.


Sure, I could put a lot of thought and angst and therapy into this, but as I said, why bother. I'm happy! If I've learned anything in this crazy life, it's this - if something is working, don't screw it up!!


Right, do what works for you.

Veronica

[christine55]

More and more I find the idea of a "third sex" persuasive. I feel more male when in male more female when femme. "I yam what I yam". Gosh I hate this keyboard.
Got to buy a serial to usb adapter, my serial port went out.
Hugs, Christine

[Sara Jessica]

Yes! You finally said the "t-word" in regards to yourself. I win!

Win??? Just because I said something you already knew? So unfair! ;)

Seriously, I went back to that old "career path" thread to see if I used the t-word there. Nope, but the analogies are certainly present.

Speaking of "career path", I have in mind to revive that tale. Oh the clarity I could add to a couple of the cryptic comments I made about 2008 along with where things are now. That post (thanks to Marla's thread) was very cathartic in writing it and could be more of the same if I were to add to it.

[KellyCD]

After being here for a few years and reading MANY many posts.....I think that a majority of "crossdressers" on here are really TS's. It makes me sad because I don't feel I fit in here anymore, and I'm too "old" to associate with the people I most identify with (the younger group, 18~25).

I don't go on here as much as I used to. I just don't fit the majority demographic here. I'm a young(er) guy, who enjoys being a guy, who has a young SO who enjoy's being a girl. The majority of people that I've seen on here are older, secretly(mostly) or openly want to be female, and are married to women who don't approve(mostly) or simply tolerate their "dressing". It doesn't paint a pretty picture.

[Tammynnj]

I like dressing, it opens up new horizons, perspectives and sensations. Although not passable I do get out to CD friendly venues and look forward to it. Making up for a late start. I don't feel trapped and enjoy being a male.

[diannecourtney]

Love Jennifer-ph thread, it expresses my true feelings. Although I cannot imagine not having boobs and padding to fill out the ladies curves. Good luck and good feelings, its not a trap.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Win??? Just because I said something you already knew? So unfair! ;)

Personally I think that the point when a TS actually uses the T-word to apply to herself, that's a big step, even if no other steps are taken.


Speaking of "career path", I have in mind to revive that tale. Oh the clarity I could add to a couple of the cryptic comments I made about 2008 along with where things are now. That post (thanks to Marla's thread) was very cathartic in writing it and could be more of the same if I were to add to it.

It really was a good thread, wasn't it.


After being here for a few years and reading MANY many posts.....I think that a majority of "crossdressers" on here are really TS's.

I'm going to have to disagree with that, in part because it's a selection bias. IMHO I believe that your hypothesis might "appear" to be true, because of one simple thing:

TS leaning CD's are probably a bit more gender angsty and in need of support and might be more likely to join a support group, either online or offline. Those CD's who are comfortable with themselves and are h appy and/or less gender angsty might be less likely to join...or post a lot.


The majority of people that I've seen on here are older, secretly(mostly) or openly want to be female, and are married to women who don't approve(mostly) or simply tolerate their "dressing". It doesn't paint a pretty picture.

I wouldn't say it's a majority of ALL the members though it's a significant number of the more vocal posters. Remember, there's tons of folks who join, but lurk and never post.

Veronica

[lisagurl83]

Some times i do but i think it would never be possible for me to change over 100% due to family, ethnic stuff etc

[ReineD]

I'm a young(er) guy, who enjoys being a guy, who has a young SO who enjoy's being a girl. The majority of people that I've seen on here are older, secretly(mostly) or openly want to be female, and are married to women who don't approve(mostly) or simply tolerate their "dressing". It doesn't paint a pretty picture.

That's a good point, Kelly.

I've often wondered if some of the older (my age, lol) CDs here had the same freedoms as the younger CDs to just be who they are, would they still pine away for being a woman? No wonder so many of the older (using your terminology :)) CDs are so frustrated. The grass has GOT to look greener to the people whose inner turmoil and life circumstances don't enable them to express themselves freely.

[GingerLeigh]

Trapped in my own body? Nope. I'm happy being me, I'm trapped in my own body as much as a fish is trapped in the ocean. Yeah, sure I'll admit that part of my brain could be considered "female" and desires female things and forms of expression, but the majority of me is male and I identify as such. Crossdressing just "feels" right. I like feeling like a woman, albeit temporarily. There's no other way to put it.

Am I a transsexual wannabe? No. I would not be happy living full time as a woman. There is a clear line of distinction there. A crossdresser craves a temporary sex transition where a transsexual is plain born the wrong sex. We are very similar so we can relate, but we're just at different ends of the spectrum.

Ginger

[meri]

Not trapped, not entirely happy with the choice of a male body, because internally I identify as feminine. I believe the choice was deliberate and has purpose, so I will not try to undo this choice with surgery. Rather, I will play with the choice and work on balance.

Besides, I get a lot more pleasure out of wearing a skirt in public as a guy than any GG ever would!

[docrobbysherry]

After being here for a few years and reading MANY many posts.....I think that a majority of "crossdressers" on here are really TS's. It makes me sad because I don't feel I fit in here anymore, and I'm too "old" to associate with the people I most identify with (the younger group, 18~25).

I don't go on here as much as I used to. I just don't fit the majority demographic here. I'm a young(er) guy, who enjoys being a guy, who has a young SO who enjoy's being a girl. The majority of people that I've seen on here are older, secretly(mostly) or openly want to be female, and are married to women who don't approve(mostly) or simply tolerate their "dressing". It doesn't paint a pretty picture.

Kelly, I can't argue with u, because altho I know there r 1000's of members and visitors here, only a few post! What the OTHERS r, what age they r, or where they r on the CD/TS spectrum, I don't know!

But, I CAN tell u this! I'm an openly, old fart, fetish CD, that is NOT TS! I get PMs from dressers much younger than I, saying they CAN RELATE! So, DON'T GIVE UP HOPE JUST YET! Lol!

[Karinsamatha]

Initially I was a fetish CD, but have evolved. I do feel challenged by a body that has extra part's and pieces - tolerable for now barely. I am looking at my life and doing some evaluation about where I am verses where I would like to be in 2 years.

[WandaRae2009]

I don't feel trapped in the wrong body. I think that is a key difference between a transexual and a crossdresser. I enjoy dressing in female clothing and presenting as a female. I also enjoy being a man, making love as a man to my wife and doing the manly things like auto repair, home repair and home remodeling. I have have thought about what it would be like to be a woman, but have no desire to transistion.

[Sophie86]

After being here for a few years and reading MANY many posts.....I think that a majority of "crossdressers" on here are really TS's. It makes me sad because I don't feel I fit in here anymore, and I'm too "old" to associate with the people I most identify with (the younger group, 18~25).

You're 28. How does that make you too old to hang with the 18-25 crowd? When I was 28, my wife was 23...


I don't go on here as much as I used to. I just don't fit the majority demographic here. I'm a young(er) guy, who enjoys being a guy, who has a young SO who enjoy's being a girl. The majority of people that I've seen on here are older, secretly(mostly) or openly want to be female, and are married to women who don't approve(mostly) or simply tolerate their "dressing". It doesn't paint a pretty picture.

Well, I'm 20 years older, but otherwise we're in the same situation.

I don't know if transexuals outnumber crossdressers here or not. What I do know is that the transexuals here are much more accepting of crossdressers than some I have encountered elsewhere. I've run into two attitudes out there that set my teeth on edge: 1) if a CD's dressing involves genuine gender identity issues, then she will inevitably want to transition unless she indulges in cowardly denial; and 2) if the CD's dressing involves sexual play, then he is a disgusting pervert who legitimizes society's prejudice against TGs. So thank you to the transexuals here who are so sweet and supportive of their CDing sisters.

[Rianna Humble]

I don't feel trapped in the wrong body. I think that is a key difference between a transexual and a crossdresser. I enjoy dressing in female clothing and presenting as a female. I also enjoy being a man, making love as a man to my wife and doing the manly things like auto repair, home repair and home remodeling. I have have thought about what it would be like to be a woman, but have no desire to transistion.

I think you are right about this being an essential difference. I have occasionally wondered whether I would have needed to transition if I could have seen myself in the role of a husband when I fell in love with a girl. As it turned out, I could not envisage myself doing those manly things so I let her go and eventually accepted that I am who I am.


I don't know if transexuals outnumber crossdressers here or not. What I do know is that the transexuals here are much more accepting of crossdressers than some I have encountered elsewhere. I've run into two attitudes out there that set my teeth on edge: 1) if a CD's dressing involves genuine gender identity issues, then she will inevitably want to transition unless she indulges in cowardly denial; and 2) if the CD's dressing involves sexual play, then he is a disgusting pervert who legitimizes society's prejudice against TGs. So thank you to the transexuals here who are so sweet and supportive of their CDing sisters.

Thank you for those kind words. I think that the positive interaction is also down to the spirit that the admins and mods try to foster of support rather than judgement.

I have not personally come across the first attitude you mention, but would certainly oppose it if I did. In my opinion, each person has to do what is right for their life and even if there are some cross-dressers who are actually transsexual but decide the cannot / do not want to transition that is their decision alone and I cannot criticise them.

I do not understand cross-dressing for sexual reasons, but certainly do not consider it a perversion and could not bring myself to condemn it out of hand.

The two attitudes you mention also miss out a number of cross-dressers I have met on these forums who either only dress for the feel of the clothes or have some desire to express a feminine side without ever needing to live fully as a woman. Those cross-dressers are equally as valid and deserve just as much support from this community.

[Toronto Kristen]

A very interesting thread. I do not consider myself trapped but perhaps that is because I have not spent a long continuous time dressed as a woman. But I do not think so. I love the feel of women's clothes and I do feel jealous that men are restricted in what is considered acceptable. I would love for society to accept men wearing nylons and heels. Until then, I will carry on with my exploration.

[Salina]

When I was a much younger, extremely confused, and unaware how many CD's there are I did a lot of soul searching on whether I was gay, wanted to be a woman, wanted to dress fulltime, and the conclusion was I am a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing and who has a feminine side. I have done therapy on this as well which also helped me reach that conclusion. I have a good life....wonderful wife, two amazing daughters, good job, friends, etc. and am very happy being a man. Well, much happier if I can express my feminine side that is. I liken saying all CD's are TS to saying all people who drink are alcoholics. I've learned from reading this forum that we are a widely diverse group and cannot be lumped into the same category.

[Joanne f]

I do not wish to complicate things (OK maybe i do):heehee: but there are some that fall in the middle of it , nether one or the other , undecided, or both, can be one gender one minute then change for no apart reason to the other , yes we have one body but in a way it would suit us to have both at different times , maybe we were missing that chromosome that made us chose between male of female at contraception so we never got that choice and are paying for it now , it is not always that simple to chose one or the other maybe the ones who can are lucky but then maybe the ones who are both are who knows .

[Stephanie Miller]

I think this "trapped" idea has been way overblown. Nobody is trapped. Anyone can make changes. To the extreme - anyone can give up their family, change jobs, move, have SRS, etc. Only themselves and their conscience is holding them back. It's a choice. Today we choose to be who we are. Today there is more acceptance and freedom to be who we want than any other time in history. (yes, we have a ways to go)
I suspect that if I was born a female I would probably wonder what it would have been like to be male. To have the same tendencies to BE a male as I do now to be female. To have the same experiences I have had - that I am glad I have had. Being a father, making love to my wife, the macho attitudes , higher pay, shirtless in public, the ability to belch and fart in public :yahoo: , etc.
But I'm a male and do feel extreem feelings of being female. But in the end I'm not trapped... I'm choosing.
With all that said.... It would be a lot nicer if society would stop getting their panties in a wad and be more accepting of us all - now that I've made my choice.

[Melody Moore]

I am one who felt like she was trapped. There was only one way out and I tried three times to take that way but failed. One day a very good friend handed me an article about Christine Jorgensen. After reading it, I knew it could be done and I swore that I would become a women. I went to the library (and yes I even had to search through all thoes damn little cards in the Dewy decimal card catalog) an started researching how to transition to a woman. Finally, in May of 1980 I went 24/7. I had SRS in June of 1990. The rest is history.
I am one who can't say if I really felt trapped in the wrong body. In my case I grew up wondering if I was really a boy or if I was really a girl. On the inside I felt more like a girl and felt the need to identify with other females as peers more than I did with males. Around other males I felt like the proverbial square peg trying to fit in a round hole.

I also seen the movie abut Christine Jorgenson in 1977 at the age of 15. This was the first time in my life I considered that I might be a transsexual because I wanted to follow in her footsteps & have a sex change. Also as I went into puberty my body started to develop in an androgynous direction & not in one specific direction. I had wider than normal hip ratio & was often mistaken as a female. I no breast until later in life, around the age of 31 when I had some type of natural oestrogen surge in my endocrine system when my partner was nearing full-term pregnancy with our youngest daughter & I started growing breasts when my nipples became sore & swollen.

As I got older and understood male & female psychology & emotions better, then this is when it did become apparently obvious I had a female brain in my head. Also as I matured I discovered that I had a lot of other naturally occurring physiological female attributes - it now appears that I was born with an intersex condition, but was never told anything about it by my parents. I was raised to believe that I was a male & did everything I could do to convince myself I was a male. there were period of dressing as a female right throughout my life from a very early age. When I dressed as a female I felt right within myself & felt that this is who I truly am. I felt like a cross-dresser when I dressed as a male. My image as a male was purely a mask & that whole life as a male was purely an 'act'. It got to the point I had to be honest with myself and stop living life as a lie. No matter what I did to be a male, this female inside of me kept on coming back.

In the end I did the only thing I could do - stop fighting it & let nature take its course. Since starting hormone therapy I haven't looked back, now there is this inner peace & calm in my life. Overall I am very positive, confident & happy now & don't suffer anywhere near as much anxiety & depression - the only thing stressing me out is how I am going to raise the funds for my SRS. I know now the journey I have embarked up is the right one for me. I will follow my heart & keep my faith that something will sort itself out and I will find a way to get the money I need for my final affirmation surgery.

[ReineD]

MiamiMarie, I have to ask. You posted your question in the M2F Crossdressing section, and not in the Transexual section, I'm assuming because your SO is a CDer and you wanted to know how many self-professed CDers feel they are women. It's a given that TSs would respond in the positive.

Did you want an idea of how many CDers feel the way you described in your OP, or did you want the TSs to answer here as well? You may not be aware that many of the positive responses in this thread are from TSs and not CDers.

Or, maybe this doesn't matter to you? But it does skew the results if you are looking for answers from a CDer POV. Just wondering.

[DaphneGrey]

But not all TGs have the same black/white gender definitions as cisgenders and TSs. There are some people who are quite happy being dualgender, once they give up the idea they must be either fully male or fully female. There are also others who are happy being androgynous.

I think what ReineD has posted describes me.

[Sally24]

I think things are changing too. When I first started going out with other T-girls in Boston, it was unusual for any to have laser/electrolysis or any other permanent changes to their bodies. Not many TS or transitioning girls then either. Now it is not unusual for girls to slowly soften their look, start getting cosmetic procedures, then start on hormones and looking at transistioning. We've already had 3 0r 4 go full time and one have all the surgeries.

As we become more visible and mainstream I think many closeted CD's are able to look deeper at their feelings to see if they are CD, TG, or TS. A good thing I think.

Now if we could just have our cake and eat it too!:heehee:

[Melody Moore]

I'm assuming because your SO is a CDer and you wanted to know how many self-professed CDers feel they are women. It's a given that TSs would respond in the positive.
It is also as much of a given that many cross-dressers don't know where they fit exactly in the gender spectrum either because most of them haven't undergone therapy sessions we have and dug so deep into themselves. Sally made a good point that also addresses this fact. I also notice that there is a trend on this forum by cross-dressers to denounce taking the transsexual route. I will also mention that this isn't the only place I have found this type of bias, one of the first cross-dressers I ever met tried to talk me out of hormone therapy & undergoing gender reassignment surgery. So it's only fair that we as transsexuals express our points of view if MiamiMarie wants to assess a more balanced perspective on this topic.

[JohnH]

My wife must think that I am a woman trapped in a man's body.
She has been saying some strange (or maybe not so strange) things lately.

Yesterday it was to ask when I would start hormone therapy. I was wearing conventional men's clothing.

Today it was "You are not a man but you have a man's body". Of course it did not "help" that I was wearing a house dress when she said it.

Johanna

[ReineD]

I also notice that there is a trend on this forum by cross-dressers to denounce taking the transsexual route. I will also mention that this isn't the only place I have found this type of bias, one of the first cross-dressers I ever met tried to talk me out of hormone therapy & undergoing gender reassignment surgery. So it's only fair that we as transsexuals express our points of view if MiamiMarie wants to assess a more balanced perspective on this topic.

I know it's not easy. We have the TSs who are convinced that everyone is in denial about wanting to transition, the male-identified CDs who are adamant they are not gay and love being men, and everyone else in between. lol Plus, for some of those who are in-between and who don't solidly identify as dualgender or androgynous, I can't help but think the issue is often ambiguous and their gender ID fluctuates depending on the other things in life they hold dear. It is not unheard of for a CD to be happy living male and expressing himself occasionally but then go on to living full time female (even if it is by wearing only the clothes) after a wife's death, a divorce, or even after retirement.

It most definitely isn't easily definable.

What concerns me is, if half the answers in this thread are from solid TSs, it will muddy the overall results if MiamiMarie is trying to figure out how many people who identify as CDers now also might see their way to transitioning later. Does this make sense?

Of course, it's up to MiamiMarie to decide. :) I just wanted to give her a head's up.

[Mary Morgan]

Ah the question of the ages. I first became aware of my desire to appear female around age 5. Did I feel like I really was a female? I don't think I thought about it. I can tell you that wanting to appear as a female as been a presence in my life everyday ever since I can remember, and long before I was a sexual person. The fact that it was a taboo was clear to me from an very early age, having been caught and punished many times. Did the punishment stop me or make me think less about wanting to appear female? No, and as I have grown older my desire has only strengthened.

So to your question, was I trapped in the wrong body? Perhaps, but the need to be female if it is there was suppressed by years of trying to get along, trying to please others, trying to have a normal life without knowing what a normal life should have been for me. Did I ever want to have a sex change? A thousand times. Have I functioned in spite of it? Yes. We all do what we must do, for some it is an imperative to be fully female and have GRS, for some we go along to get along. Again to your question, I do not know the answer, but suspect that if at an early age I had been offered the choice, not out of anger but out of love, I would have grown old as a woman.

[LoriFlores]

Me, I feel trapped. Born with the wrong plumbing.

Not sure if I would choose the word trapped, maybe cheated, but definitely should have been a girl from day one... Its been some sort of cruel mistake :(

[Sapphire]

Don’t feel trapped. When you come to terms with having within you elements of the male and female it’s in ways quite liberating.

[Fab Karen]

I also notice that there is a trend on this forum by cross-dressers to denounce taking the transsexual route. I will also mention that this isn't the only place I have found this type of bias, one of the first cross-dressers I ever met tried to talk me out of hormone therapy & undergoing gender reassignment surgery. So it's only fair that we as transsexuals express our points of view if MiamiMarie wants to assess a more balanced perspective on this topic.
I haven't seen that, unless you're talking about the married/in relationship with a GG ones who are basicly publicly announcing they won't be doing that, to calm the fears of their partners and/or wanting GG's to see it is not "the next step" usually for CD's in general.

[Alice Torn]

Some days in fake diamonds: some days just stones.

[Alice Torn]

My cats accept me in either mode. I have agonized many times about why i had to be born male. My dad never wanted another son. It is much harder for a man to find a wife, than for a woman to find a husband, andi have almost no hope of ever being married, at 57. I don't really care much anymore. I know that if i had been born female, I likely would have been married soon, with kids. Being a guy seems synonomous with being alone. I am pretty accepting of my PLIGHT now, enjoy being like a lady for several sessions a month.

[5150 Girl]

Do you dress because you really feel like a woman trapped in a man's body sometimes?

Not somtimes. all the time!

[BiancaEstrella]

I don't think I really feel like a woman is trapped in a man's body, per se, but I feel that part of my self-expression involves outwardly displays of feminine norms. I simply enjoy dressing and carrying myself like a woman, but only those two things at the same time. One of the things I enjoy about cross-dressing is the fact that I can take it all of and revert to my male side again. Not that I look forward to that once the fog sets in, but knowing that in my heart of hearts, I get my feminine expression out is adequate enough for me...

[Rianna Humble]

It is also as much of a given that many cross-dressers don't know where they fit exactly in the gender spectrum either because most of them haven't undergone therapy sessions we have and dug so deep into themselves.

I disagree that people cannot know who they are without therapy. In my not so humble opinion, there are many cross-dressers who have a fairly strong idea of where they fit on the gender spectrum. Those of us who suffer from gender dysphoria do need help and counselling to see clearly through some of our issues and to help us make the right choices for our future. I personally did not need therapy to know what my true gender is, but I'm looking forward to counselling to help me make the journey. This need not be the case for all cross-dressers although some might benefit from therapy to help them see themselves more clearly.


I also notice that there is a trend on this forum by cross-dressers to denounce taking the transsexual route.

I can't say that I have come across this on crossdressers.com

[LoriFlores]

This actually is a painful topic for me and I imagine others as well. Why were we cursed to spend our life this way?

[Pythos]

This is how I feel about many TSs. They become TSs due to a compulsion by society. The only reasons I have given any thought to transitioning is due to by the limitations placed on me when it comes to my style. I like my styles (the non goth, but still androgynous looks). But society gets all messed up by a guy looking like a girl. It is somehow bad. Have no idea why.

I have often wondered though if SRS would even be as common as it is if CDing was fully accepted, and was just a thing some guys chose to do.

No stigma, no silliness. Just freedom.

[Jennifer_Ph]

No stigma, no silliness. Just freedom.

That is the world I dream of.

[Toronto Kristen]

I have read through this thread (and the recently started "Why do you dress?") and note that there are as many answers and reasons as there are posters. So, in keeping with this trend, here is my answer. I do not feeling that I am a woman trapped in a man's body. For me, the reason for crossdressing is that I like the feel of women's clothes and shoes. In my opinion, there is a lot more "freedom" and choice with women's clothes; they are almost always softer (for want of a better description); there is a far greater variety in style and colours. Even if I am only wearing stockings and wearing heels, I feel much freer. I would really love it if society could be "changed" so that expressing one's individuality and feelings through wearing whatever clothes you like is so acceptable that there is no comment.

As I do not consider myself to be a trapped woman, I do not have any intention of going further than enjoying my "feminine" side when wearing women's clothes. Having said that, I have to admit to the occasional wistful wondering of what it would be like to be a woman. [Am I refuting my comments above?] If nothing else, the ability to experience life as a woman would help be a better person when in my male life.

I have to give my 2 penny worth on Pyhos' comment: "But society gets all messed up by a guy looking like a girl. It is somehow bad. Have no idea why."
It my experience and belief that society as a whole is inherently resistant to change and thus does not like those people that do not conform to the strict norms within that society. I would like to think that we are seeing the very slow move to make crossdressing acceptable eventually. Perhaps the term crossdressing will become a historical anachronism. From my albeit short reading of the thread, I sense that younger members here are finding more accepting and accommodating partners than members of my age. However, I do not think that society will change quickly enough for my wish at the end of the first paragraph to come true in my lifetime.

[BillieJoEllen]

I don't really feel 'trapped'. I've always felt like i was a girl/woman. Much of my upbringing was 'correcting' female thoughts and mannerisms. I just naturally did and involved myself in feminine pursuits. Through the years of my adolescence my male side was abundantly reinforced by my father and other male relatives. I came to be what is now known as 'macho'. Its not really how I feel though. I have had experiences in my youth where surprisingly my girl side was greatly exploited. Does any of this make sense?

[Ingrid1999]

Like many of the posters here, I was brought up to be a man. I didnt feel much like one and I know that was a big reason they made sure I spent alot of time with male relatives and in "manly pursuits. Left to my own I would read books, play with girls and read fashion magazines. :) I do enjoy football cars and guns however. But so do a lot of women. For me masculinity for the most part is an effort.

Since about 8 years old I've felt uncomfortable in my skin, that the outside didn't correspond to the inside. My personality, my inner sense of self would be far more comfortable in the world if I were female. I dont know if I am a woman traped in a mans body, but I know I prayed to wake up a girl many nights since childhood.

As far as CDing, I am a jeans and t-shirts type of girl for the most part. But I envy the freedom of a sundress on a beautiful July day, or wearing a chic Armani Couture dress. I dress up so I can see myself in the mirror sometimes. It is an effort to "live up to" the expectations my male body generates from society.

I knew at a young age that something was amiss, but I also knew I could never ever tell anyone, because even in the 70s and 80s the ridicule and hostility expressed towards people who acted out on their femme feelings was so great. So much of what Mary Morgan said resonates with my own life and I too "I learned to get along". And along the way I built a life that would be very very difficult to transition in.

Excuse, perhaps. But like in "Mad Men" when Sal Romano's dinner date asked what he was so afraid of: Sal looked at him and asked "are you serious?"

[sometimes_miss]

I honestly don't think it has much to do with the fabric; you can find fine men's clothing in very nice fabrics indeed. But you will not find men's clothing that feels like women's clothes do; the feeling of a bra strap sliding on your shoulder, of your breast moving in a bra cup, the gentle tug of a garter belt as it pulls on a stocking, the sliding of nylon slip on a stockinged leg, or of your butt cheek slipping in and out of the edge of your panties as you walk, the change of gait as you walk in heels, the feeling of long hair brushing on our necks, breasts, shoulders, arms, the list goes on and on. I can't say the feeling is better, or worse; you will, after all, hear of many women who hate all those feelings that I just mentioned.
And it's not always so that we can 'act' like women either; but one thing that I really do get tired of is the constant one upsmanship that all men engage in, seemingly all the time. It's all about who is more successful, who has more money, who is tougher, it always seems like there's a pecking order to be established whenever men are together. I guess women have the same thing with who's more beautiful, and who has the richest husband, etc.. But as always, we each see the grass as greener on the other person's lawn.
I dress because deep down inside, I will always have the feeling that I was supposed to be a girl, even though as an adult I learned that was not true; but some things that happen to us as we grow up become more or less permanent. For me, feeling like I should always be dressed in girls clothes, well it's one of those things.

[TeaD]

With HRT there has been a bit of a change in my feelings. Always wished that I was born a female but got great sexual satisfaction in cross dressing. With the lower testosterone and higher estrogen am not interested as much in the cross dressing for sexual stimulation. Clothing is more unisex. Feel more now than ever that I should have been female and it is a curse that I wasnt. I guess God wanted me to learn something from the experience.

[Elle1946]

I feel like a lesbian traped in a man's body.

[Danni Bear]

trapped is not the correct terminology for this. everyone of us feels trapped in one way or another. being born or assigned the wrong dender at birth is not a trap but a mistake. the steps that are taken to correct this vary with each individual. Some go the full route in transition while others only need a small step to feel complete. crossdressing does that for some while for others the act of crossdressing only makes the agony worse. there is no fundemental difference between a cd and a ts only in degree of need. will all cd's need or desire transition, no and neither will all ts need that. ts is more than a desire to wear the clothes of the opposite gender or even to emulate them. this helps on many ocassions but it is not the overriding portion of a ts by any means. a ts finds over time that no matter where or how they present to the world outwardly that they are different from how most see them. be that as a m2f or f2m makes no difference. we are all born as one or the other, the path to becoming who you are is frought with problems no matter whether you are cis or trans. be honest with yourself in who you are, each is an individual who has their own needs and desires. there are no one size fits all answers to life

Danni

[JohnH]

My mother is concerned about my long hair. She says it makes me look like a girl.

I can't come out and say I don't cut my hair because short hair would not look good when I am wearing a dress - about 50 percent of the time. Fortunately we are separated by over 1600 km [1000 miles] so she can't meddle too much in my affairs. I went up to see my brother's daughter's wedding and my relatives saw my hair at an awkward length. Since then it has grown out more so the length is not so awkward.

So again, I in a way feel like a woman trapped in a body where I am expected to conform to the narrow constraints expected of men.

Johanna

[Cassiecd]

Marie...I hope you got something out of this! This thread has generated alot of discussion. As you can read, we span the whole gamit and labels can be artificial in times like this. This would be interesting in a poll format to see where all our members are on this spectrum.

For me, Linda did say it best:


I don't feel "trapped" at all. I was born male and I enjoy being a male and doing male things. I just like to "pretend" to be a female from time to time. I wish I could experience being a female but I'm pretty sure I would want to go back to being a male. It would be really nice to be able to switch back and forth at will.

I have a great hobby!!!!!

[Amanda22]

I've always been a girl inside, and was born with a male body, so my response is "yes." I will never transition physically, BTW.

[jennifer24]

I do feel trapped sometimes, I do know for sure that I feel so much more happier as a woman & until I can dress everyday I wont be happy.

[JustineFallow]

I'm definitely not trapped in a body I shouldn't have, but I do feel somewhat unfortunate to have a hobby/fetish/compulsion/(insert your term here) that I enjoy quite a bit, yet is not looked on kindly by the majority of the sex/gender to which I'm exclusively attracted (women).