Therapist Preferences

[Allyson Michelle]

I'm looking to seek a therapist to finally break these chains get on with life as Ally. For some reason I think I would prefer a female therapist over a male simply because of the ones I've told, the females seem to be more caring and understanding about it. Well I was lucky enough to find just one TG friendly therapist specializing in GID within 200 miles of me(50mi. to be exact), but he's male and he doesn't accept insurance. He seems to be my only option in this area but I would much rather have a female one. Any suggestions here or is there really a difference?

[StaceyJane]

I understand wanting to talk to a female therapist. That was something I was looking for too.
Maybe you should broaden your search a bit. When I first starting looking for a therapist I tried to find one in my area with experience in GID. Since I live next to an army base it's all Post traumatic stress specialist around here.
I broadened my search to therapist advertising experience in gay/ lesbian issues which is how I found my therapist. I emailed her and asked about experience in TG issues and she responded that she had interned working with a TS support group in New York City.
I have found her to be a great therapist and she has really supported me as I have begun to really find myself.

Unless you have a lot of money the insurance deal is a big one. Therapists run over a hundred dollars an hour. With insurance I only pay twenty dollars a session.

Good luck on finding someone.

[tanyalynn51]

Here in NM, we have a tg support website that lists a couple of therapists, one male, one female. I dont know how the man would have worked out, but the female was the one who took my insurance, and I am definitely happy she does. I am very comfortable with her.

[Juliemckay]

I just started with a therapist. She has been helpful (to a degree, because I just started), but I seem to be able to open up to her more... you know, just two girlfriends chatting

[Stephanie Anne]

Well you are going to have to call. Either call your insurance or go on their site and track down about 5 therapists in your area that are on your insurance.

Get the numbers and call the office. Ask to make sure they take your insurance. If they do then ask if the therapist has experience with issues stemming from gender identity conflicts. You can say GID or gender identity disorder if you want, I simply hate that term.

If you want to further narrow it down, cross reference any and all trans websites that have therapist information with your insurance company's list.

There really is no way to properly do this without being up front about it. no reason to be embarrassed as the vast majority have experience or at least have had college courses that dealt with trans issues. the few that are negative, should be easy to weed out and this way you will avoid wasting time.

[Katesback]

For $100 dollars an hours it is VERY easy to sit there and let someone ramble on. Sure you have to throw in a occasional "yes" and "how does that make you feel" but damm I could do that.

Truthfully I never went to a therapist. I did not need to pay someone to tell me what I already knew. I just had to make the decision and execute it.

LOL

[Stephanie Anne]

For $100 dollars an hours it is VERY easy to sit there and let someone ramble on. Sure you have to throw in a occasional "yes" and "how does that make you feel" but damm I could do that.

Truthfully I never went to a therapist. I did not need to pay someone to tell me what I already knew. I just had to make the decision and execute it.

LOL

You keep confusing your assumption the only reason a person would seek a therapist is to transition. Stop with the therapist bashing. Many people have emotional turmoil that is intertwined with being transgendered. They are unable to sort it out themselves and therefore benefit from therapy to learn coping skills. You don't go to a therapist to validate being transgendered, you go because you can't accept who you are.

You decided you have no issues. That's great, good for you. Don't discredit those of us who need to resolve our social disorders first.

[Tomara]

Hi Allyson,

Congratulations on taking the steps to help yourself !

If you have health insurance they should have a member network for therapists and should be able to give you the names of the gender therapists that they will cover with your plan.
If you don't have insurance do a search for trans gender therapy in your area and you should find some more matches.

When I was looking for a therapist I had a preference of a female only because I think it is a lot easier to talk to a female , I was lucky enough to find some one who I am very comfortable with and I have had really great results with her guidance.

Fell free to PM me if you have any other questions.
Tomara

[Jessinthesprings]

You keep confusing your assumption the only reason a person would seek a therapist is to transition. Stop with the therapist bashing. Many people have emotional turmoil that is intertwined with being transgendered. They are unable to sort it out themselves and therefore benefit from therapy to learn coping skills. You don't go to a therapist to validate being transgendered, you go because you can't accept who you are.

You decided you have no issues. That's great, good for you. Don't discredit those of us who need to resolve our social disorders first.

For the record... there are certain steps that require to therapists's signiture. Do it yourself transitions can only go so far. You may find a doctor willing to write an HRT script without a letter, but SRS won't happen and I really don't think a kitchen knife is a good idea.


Just echo what the other ladies are saying. I found a therapists who based her rates on a slideing scale and it was bi-weekly at $50. Not great but affordable. She was not a TG expert but she was willing to learn and research. We kinda met halfway. Im my educating her I learned a little more about myself. In return she helped me see things in a different perspective. Besides it gave me strength to know someone who has little or no experiance with the community was so excepting.

[Hope]

but damm I could do that.

No you couldn't. Not effectively. We get it, you didn't go to a therapist, and you feel superior to the rest of us who do. But your ignorance of therapy, surprisingly doesn't make you an expert on therapy. You say that you have never been to a therapist, but magically you know what it is all about and that it is all a bunch of hooey.

LOL

For those of us who don't already know everything, therapy can be a HUGELY beneficial process, but it depends upon the person going to therapy as much as it does the skill of the therapist. The therapist has no silver bullet, nor does she have any magic pills that will fix you up and make everything right with the world for you with no effort on your part.

A therapist can show you how to do the work, and show you what work needs to be done, but ultimately it is up to you to be honest and do the work. That is why it is so important to see a therapist you are comfortable with. And that is where, to a certain extent, ANY therapist will do in a pinch. If you don't have a therapist with experience dealing with gender issues, ANY (competent) therapist will be able to help you with the basics and will refer you to some one with more gender experience, or do appropriate research to be able to continue to help you when you push the boundaries of their experience.

If you are not comfortable with the therapist with gender experience in your area, see someone without gender experience, or look outside of your area. Whatever you do - see someone and get the help you need.

Personally, I have seen both male and female therapists, and while I am more comfortable with my female therapist (and she has the gender experience my old therapist lacked), I think the male therapist I saw several years ago was a better clinician - he was better at keeping me focused where the woman I see now allows me to wander more. But that could simply be their individual temperament too, and have nothing to do with their respective genders.

[ReneeT]

Allyson,

If your insurance company allows you to set up a flexible spending account (FSA), you can have therapy costs from a non- participating therapist covered out of that. In fact, any non-covered medical expenses can be paid out of an FSA. While you are still paying with your own money, you fund an FSA with pre-tax dollars instead of post-tax dollars. Depending on your tax bracket, this can be a significant savings. I am increasing the funding of my FSA to pay for non covered transition costs. BTW, this all aplies to HSA's as well. They have the advantage of being portable

[Traci Elizabeth]

Personally, I prefer a female therapist as I can open up easier with a female than I can a male. And this is strictly my personal opinion but I am not confident that a male can actually relate to my feminine needs or thoughts.