Fulltime thoughts

[gretchen2]

I go to several trans support groups in the area and every so often the topic of full time comes up. So I have been thinking about this topic a lot lately and what it means exactly in the transsexual community and mainly to myself. This subject has confused me a lot over the last few months. Am I fulltime or am I part time? I am defiantly in the early stages of transition but I am also past the stage of no return, which is good, every second into the future is one step forward. When I go out to be social day or night I am more librarian-ish very conservative or maybe right wing Christian woman on her way to church. In the day when I have to work I don’t know really what I am as far as gender goes, I do know that I am not male anymore. I seem to fall in between female and androgynous. It’s like this weird purgatory type of place. My trade really makes the transition awkward. I guess the thing that I always have to remember is that gender is between the ears not the legs or what clothes I wear. So are there any opinions on what full time means to you? It seems like a very awkwardly weird concept (fulltime).

[Frances]

In my opinion, fulltime is the stage where you dress in female (or male clothes) all the time and only use your new name in every situation. It is when you stop going back to male mode, even on the phone with crediters or service providers. It is a very specific point where overlapping stops, and you are this new person for good. It is about identity, not physical appearence. Regardless of hair that may still be on your face, whatever is between your legs or how small your breasts are, it is the moment you start presenting as your true self all the time. For most people, it is when we start working or going to school in the proper gender for good.

For me, it was May 4th 2009. Five months after starting HRT. I never went back to male mode after that, whatever the consequences would be.

[Stephanie Anne]

Fulltime is accepting that no matter the consequence, you are going to present and live in your correct and complete gender.

[Katesback]

You threw out a lot of variables that do make a lot of sense because women do present themselves in all sorts of ways.

What I will tell you about how I would mentally view you as full time is wether you have LEGALLY changed your name. If you have not then I certainly cannot accept that someone is REALLY full time.

KAtie

[StaceyJane]

You threw out a lot of variables that do make a lot of sense because women do present themselves in all sorts of ways.

What I will tell you about how I would mentally view you as full time is wether you have LEGALLY changed your name. If you have not then I certainly cannot accept that someone is REALLY full time.

KAtie

What if you had a name that could be either a boys or girls name?

No need to change names then.

[Teri Jean]

For me the change from the male persona to being me has been over a year and four months and I decided when the door is opened it can never be closed ever again. You mentioned your job being restrictive(?); I work for a university doing build repair and the area of the campus that is assigned to me is the sports and PE portion of the campus. Between the jocks and straps, LOL, the students, coaches, and faculty have been really supportive. My department co-workers have been mostly polite but distant, which is fine by me.

So realizing there are going to be those moments where it may be difficult and some people not accepting one needs to answer the question am I ready and willing to do this? When you can say yes, this is what I want and need then the rest will work out.

[Rianna Humble]

I think Frances summed it up for me. If you are presenting as the real you without going back to the old one, then you are full time.

Mine is more recent than Frances - 1st July 2010. On that day, I became Rianna Joyce Humble legally and have been using that name for all purposes since. Thank sto delays in the health system over here, I have not started gender counselling or hormone therapy, but there is definitely no way I could ever return to being Robert.

You mention your trade making transition difficult, as I don't know what you do, could you tell us something of the difficulties, please?

[Traci Elizabeth]

Fulltime is accepting that no matter the consequence, you are going to present and live in your correct and complete gender.


Now that I agree with.

[Danni Bear]

Gretchen,

Fulltime can mean different things to different people. In it's simplest meaning to me,it is that point that no matter what anyone else says or does that I decided that I could no longer live a lie, that happened for me in 1998. No matter the dress or appearence,when you make the mental transition from male to female you will be fulltime. All the rest is the trappings that society imposes on us all. When that happens you will know without any inward doubt that you are a woman. Some make that transition with few problems, the majority have many more issues to overcome and defeat before that moment comes.

Danni

to all my transmen brothers let me apoligize to you for neglecting you in my reply. You also face the same challenges that we do in your acceptance as we do and face the same type of problems in your own way.

D

[Stephenie S]

I agree too.

S

[gretchen2]

Fulltime is accepting that no matter the consequence, you are going to present and live in your correct and complete gender.
Reading all your opinions just re-enforces what's in my own head. It's what I have felt for the last three or four months, and reading it from others really helps a lot. I am a trans-woman twenty four seven. The whole work thing being a carpenter is just a little weird, very masculine trade. The only thing missing now are the results from the FBI and the CBI regarding my finger prints. There so damn slow, I'm getting tired of using cash everywhere. Thanks for the clarity.