Dressing around your SO

[Michelle 51]

I dress around the house all the time but keep it casual.T-shirt.skirt,pantyhose and shoes.She is not comfortable with me fully dressed and I've tried going with make-up and all the rest but it wasn't well recieved.I guess us going out together isn't in the near if ever future.Whats your wifes comfort level .

[Ericka2]

My wife encourages me to be more feminine around the house but I'm a shy person in front of her, I guess I'm just a tadd intimidated, I hope that goes away.

Love,Ericka

[sami1952]

i was fully dress this whole weekend in front of the wife and not a word from her but then again i told her i was going to be dress because i had the urge to do it.even slept in female mode.love every minute of it.

[Jay Cee]

My SO has no issue with my being dressed, and even encourages it sometime. I was full out en femme last night, and she even offered to drive me around.

[Jamie Parks]

things are a bit complicated with me and my SO, she tells me she has no problem with me being dressed around the house (and her) but I can tell that the words coming out of her mouth don't match her true feelings about it(like when you get a really crappy x-mas gift but you dont want to offend the person who gave it to you so you put on a fake smile and say thank you)...I can see the look of disapproval all over her when she See's me dressed, when I am dressed we mostly stay in different rooms(I try to follow her around but I can tell when I am not welcome). So on "paper" it is fine for me to dress as I choose but in reality she would rather not see it.

P.S. she does help me by buying things I want so she is in no way totally aginst it

[Misty G]

My wife has no problem with how ever I dress which is usually femme with out the make up. But that is only because I am too lazy to put it on.

[Alberta_Pat]

My bride and I are sitting across from each other at the moment.

I am wearing a black mini, a white cam, black bra, black hose and shoes.

Not even a word about wearing spaghetti straps of one colour over another. ;)

Yes, she is quite comfortable with this aspect of me.

[Maria 60]

She knows when the kids go out Maria coming over, i think more than anything she hates that the doors and windows have to be closed, she loves the sun light in the house. Otherwise we both do our own thing see doesn't seem to mind.

[ChristineM]

Unless there's a major paradigm shift, you'll see the four horsemen of the Apocalypse before my wife wants to see me dressed.

[Katesback]

If I was dating a guy or married to a guy and he told me he was a crossdresser.................

If his entire package was awesome and he was a great guy I would consider staying with him but my limits would be such that the times he wanted to dress he would do it on his own and if he went out it would be with his cd friends. Also he would not wear my clothes. Another thing is I would really not want to talk about cd stuff with him.

So to reiterate I would not have a problem with him having girl time but I would not want any part of it, whould not want to discuss it with him, and finally would not want to be around it. Aside from that he would be free to go out with his cd friends and do whatever he wanted.

Katie

[AnnaCalliope]

SO is 100 percent accepting and we'll still be together, at least as best friends and roommates, even after I transition, which is great, because I'll need a new family, considering I may not have much left once I come out to all my relatives.

Katie, if I didn't know better I'd think that comment would be an awful double standard, being TG and not being accepting of a CD boyfriend, but I think I know how you feel. I see it as, post transition, I want to date a guy that is "all guy". I know that seems hypocritical, but when I'll have spent so many years and so much money changing myself from a gay male to a straight female, I want a boyfriend who I don't have to worry isn't going to want to be my girlfriend some day.

[Joanne f]

Anything i like whenever i like , the truth is though is that i hardy ever get the time to do anything other than put a skirt on for a while or a bit of makeup which then stays on .

[Yvonne York]

It is interesting how different our wives and girlfriends are, when we look at posts like this. My wife, fully accepting and supportive when I dress, absolutely freaks out if I suggest a wig or make up. I have two lovely wigs, but she will have none of it. Yet, when I wear sexy lingerie, or dresses around the house, she has no problem.

[Joanne f]

It is interesting how different our wives and girlfriends are, when we look at posts like this. My wife, fully accepting and supportive when I dress, absolutely freaks out if I suggest a wig or make up. I have two lovely wigs, but she will have none of it. Yet, when I wear sexy lingerie, or dresses around the house, she has no problem.

Once you put on a wig and wake up you change your identity and some just do not want to see a different person it instantly makes them feel uncomfortable which can be quite understandable yet on the other hand some are happier to see someone different as it gives them lesser of a connection to that person so they can cope with it more .

[KrystalA]

My SO is at my home every day for at least 8 hours, and if I'm not dressed en femme, she's disappointed. I'm still working on the makeup thing, and she can't help me there because she's never worn makup in her life - doesn't need it - so I'll have to work that out myself, but she buys feminine clothes for me and makes suggestions about posture, walking, jewelry, things like that. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.

[DAVIDA]

I have been dressing around, in front of, or whatever you want to call it, Jean for twenty years now.:D
I usually don't do the wig or make-up but sometimes I do.
If I am around the house fro a while and I am not dressed, Jean will ask me if there is something wrong.:doh:
It is just a normal and natural thing for me.:o

[PretzelGirl]

My wife is okay with complete dressing or partial. There doesn't seem to be a limit, but I don't push them either. I also have one daughter left at home that I dress around, but she isn't around a whole lot, so she sees me less then once a week or two.

[DonnaT]

My wife is fine with most anything, except the wig and makeup, around the house. She's been out with me a few times but couldn't really get into it, even if she had fun at the club. She had a hard time referring to me using my girl name or using female pronouns.

[kristinacd55]

Somewhat the same.....except all I wear usually is panties, bra, cami, tights and painted tootsies. In other words, underdressed!

[Jenny Doolittle]

My wife's comfort level is much like yours.... she would be floored if I were dressed the way I would want. I wear girls jeans, underdress with panties. bra, or cami, and maybe fanny panties for a little extra booty. I little day makeup. All of this is about her limits, and may even be pushing a bit.....

I also have my nails a clear or pink. and she says if my brows are any thinner they will be gone.

Def. no skirts. dresses. or full makeup.

[Katesback]

SO is 100 percent accepting and we'll still be together, at least as best friends and roommates, even after I transition, which is great, because I'll need a new family, considering I may not have much left once I come out to all my relatives.

Katie, if I didn't know better I'd think that comment would be an awful double standard, being TG and not being accepting of a CD boyfriend, but I think I know how you feel. I see it as, post transition, I want to date a guy that is "all guy". I know that seems hypocritical, but when I'll have spent so many years and so much money changing myself from a gay male to a straight female, I want a boyfriend who I don't have to worry isn't going to want to be my girlfriend some day.

Your correct for one thing. I was never a gay man. I liked women till I started taking hormones and then things changed. Go figure.

[joan658]

I dress around the house full time now (ie, the last 12 years or so) and my wife is fine with it - her only concern is that I not go out where others can see me "dressed". Around the house I usually do not where make up or a wig (grew my hair long years ago, through a receding hair line ruins the desired "look"). As a recent Christmas present my wife gave me "permission" to get my ears pierced - just love it!!! ... can't wait to the "training earrings" out and put in something pretty! Years ago, we used to go to Tri-Ess meetings in Baltimore once a month which she was OK with, through when I drove home "dressed" it made her uncomfortable.

Recently (last year or so), I've been pushing the envelope in public wearing a bra with small silicon breast forms under certain male shirts that mostly conceal my unnatural breasts. And, I've been doing my nails in a neutral or very pale pinkish shade and only once has a woman clerk at a shop ask "who does your nails?" When I said "I do" she had a bit of a chuckle. My wife will sometimes point out that my nail polish is "a bit obvious" or that "you can see your boobs in that shirt" to let me know I've gone a bit too far ... not, I think, that it bothers her, rather she's trying to save me possible embarrassment.

Although my own kids do not know about my "dressing" my wife's grown daughter does. She was here to visit for 2 weeks over Christmas and we went shopping together several times (my wife hates shopping) and Samantha would hold up a dress or blouse and say something like "do you think Joan would like this?" or "how do you think this would look on Joan?"

All in all, I am very lucky to have such supportive women in my life.

[Karren H]

I don't... And won't. And probably never will! She doesn't want to see me enfemme. And anyway... I get enough of "you going to wear that" from here when in male mode... Crossdessing is something I have total control of! No one tells me what to wear or passes judgment on how I look but me!! Ok everyone I come in contact with out there but I don't care what they think! Lol.

[Donna tv]

My situation as been great for 33 years now. I did not think it could get better but it has. My wife has always been accepting and supportive but with the usual limitations a lot of us have such as Don't get caught! I am finding that as the years go by my femininity is increasing. I am now shaving my legs and my nails are looking as the wife says "very pretty", they are now actually longer than hers. I am totally in shock that she has not mentioned that I need to get back to a less feminine look. Not sure where all this is leading to but I am along for the ride.

[aprilgirl]

My wife (sarahm) is totally supportive and I'm free to dress anytime I wish. Funny thing however, unless we have an outing planned like a shopping trip, salon visit or out to dinner I'm rarely in the mood. I always sleep in nightgowns, but consider that under dressing. Fully dressing around the house is limited to maybe once or twice a month and revolves around a photo shoot after a new purchase has been made.

[Alice B]

My wife's comfort level is to accept, but not participate. At times I can fully dress at home, but she usually will stay upstairs. I often wear some make up and she will tolerate that in my presence, with a comment or two in a non hurtful way. On a rare occasion she will come downstairs to watch TV with me when I'm not overly dressed. Wearing levis, forms, wig and make up in a casual top is more tolerated then a dress, heels, etc. I can at times go out fully dressed, but on my own. I will go to Diva Las Vegas for a full week of dressing, but again on my own with her acceptance. My exploration of my female side is growing and is OK as long as I keep things in balance.

[Maria_1969]

Mine is good with me as long as I do not do makeup.... I am only allowed to do makeup if there is a reason, like its Halloween and I take full advantage of that. :-) However, she does encourage me to dress up, as she thinks I look hot in women's clothing but she wants my face to look like a man.

[jackie_p]

My wife has known for about two years now. She accepts that it is something that I do
and even supports a bit during bedroom play, occasionally. That is about it. Other than
that, she wants no part of it, doesn't want to see it, etc.

[lavistaa62]

Once you put on a wig and wake up you change your identity and some just do not want to see a different person it instantly makes them feel uncomfortable which can be quite understandable yet on the other hand some are happier to see someone different as it gives them lesser of a connection to that person so they can cope with it more .

I was going to ask about this- specifically if itś the dressing which is accepted or bothersome or the presentation as a female- you know going out of your / our way to actually resemble a female instead of a man wearing female clothing. A bit off topic- I of course would like to achieve the feminine appearance. more than the actual dressing. If I could seem female in all male clothes that would not bother me at all! On the other hand, I get upset to the extent that I still seem male and thus ¨ugly" so the wig and presentable makeup skills make me feel better about myself. Recently my wife has begun to purchase and use makeup which she has never done before. I am wondering if it is a subtle invite to improve my own meager skills or if getting better at it would just be upsetting to her. Yes, I know need to have a conversationg about this but getting the lay of the land as it seems to others is always a prelude to such conversations for me.

[suchacutie]

Tina is a product of our marriage, as we discovered the femme side of me a few decades into our marriage. As a result, Tina "coming to visit" is a joint decision. Often we'll take care of whatever my male self needs to handle that day, and then the nails get done. After they harden she kisses my male self goodbye, and about an hour later says "hi" to Tina, treating her as a live-in house guest/girlfriend. Tina has her own life and the long-lasting excitement is to find out who this "Tina person" really is! My wife will always say, "so Tina, how have you been...what have you been doing since your last visit" and off we go talking girl-talk about everything.

Tina does sometimes "visit" when there are some detailed things to do that my male self just hates to do, and then Tina is there for a different purpose, whether my wife is there or not, but when my wife is back, Tina or I tell "about our day".

LOL...I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day with this marriage of ours! :)

ROFL

tina

[Tina B.]

As long as it stays in the house my wife seems fine with me dressing as much as I want, which sometimes will last for a week or more. I will go from just throwing on a girls tee and jeans, some days it's all of it. The only time the wife showed signs of stress was when I was trying to develop a feminine voice, she seemed uncomfortable with that. And she only uses my feminine name in the third person.
Tina B.

[Joanne f]

I was going to ask about this- specifically if itś the dressing which is accepted or bothersome or the presentation as a female- .
It can be ether you just have to see what signals your wife/so are giving off to understand the way they are looking at it and some can even be happy with both ways , just watch, understand and listen to the signals and body language they will be there , and yes ask about the makeup it will show that you are taking some interest in your wife .

[kimdl93]

For the past 5 years, I've been dressed nearly 24/7 at home, though for the past 6 months, my youngest step daughter has been home, which cuts into my time just a bit. Fortunately, she works an afternoon-evening shift, so I still have part of the day. My wife's comfort level seems pretty high, since I usually wear some make up and full femme attire at home. When we go out in public, I usually am dressed in androgynous tops, a touch of make up and sandals w/heels.

[ReineD]

So to reiterate I would not have a problem with him having girl time but I would not want any part of it, whould not want to discuss it with him, and finally would not want to be around it.

Sorry, but :rolleyes:. Are you trying to see what type of reactions you'll get? Lol. Talk about double standards.

[Zoe Preston]

It's just my opinion, but I suspect those partners that don't want to see you in a wig or make-up still want to see their man at all times. Maybe they can rationalise it as just a bit of a fetish thing in their own minds.

My wife still doesn't want to see me dressed although she has seen recent pictures. I try to present as feminine an image as possible it has to include wig and make-up. Unfortunately my wife takes a lot of convincing that because I may look passably attractive (From a distance in a dark room :D ) that doesn't automatically mean I want to be a woman (full-time) nor does it make me attracted to men.

Zoe

[Amanda22]

Michelle, I know it's annoying, but to answer your poll, my wife's comfort level is really high. She is extremely encouraging. We go out together as girlfriends at least once per week. I came out to her only last August (2010) and have let her be in control of how fast things moved in the progression of my feminine presentation. I was advised to let her govern the speed of things by several very wise forum members. Wow, did a little patience pay off. I know that isn't a guarantee of success, but it sure doesn't hurt. I think women get turned off if they feel the relationship is being threatened. If they feel they're in control (because they are), then it becomes more acceptable. This is how it's been for me at least.

[sally silverfox]

It was a long time coming but now I can dress completly or not without her being at all concerned.She actually suggests I dress and often brings me new things to try on.She helps with my makeup and hair,corrects my walk and mannerisms and is just generally suportive and accepting.

[loserjaxxy]

My SO doesn't care dress up or not. She probably more attracted to me as Janette than Jared.

[t-girlxsophie]

Im lucky that my Lovely Wife,has no limits on my dressing at home,she does like to see her Man a cpl days a week.which I'm totally cool with,Its great too that she loves going out with me when am dressed

[S. Lisa Smith]

My wife doesn't want to see Lisa and I'm fine with that!!! She is very supportive up to that point.

[Cheryl T]

I dress all the time around the house and am comfortable wearing whatever I desire around my SO.
Most of the time I'm in jeans or slacks as I'm doing something about the house, but if I have some free time I might slip on a skirt and just relax.

[ginafaye]

its all good at home totally ok with it all ,but like someone else said she really doesn't wear make up or jewelry . she helps me buy anything ginafaye needs . just one rule we keep it private ,only for us ,and very careful about the kids and grandkids coming over or just dropping in........but if there were no social taboos..i would dress all the time....really can you even have choices in the mens dept other than work boots ,flannel shirts and jeans?

[Stephanie47]

It ain't going to happen. Well, maybe just once as I get thrown out of the house in a dress and heels.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Currently my wife and I have the DADT policy. My clothes hang freely in our wardrobe and she knows I quite regularly get out to the shopping malls en femme. Last week I did the "little push" thing, in an attempt to engage conversation and possibly massage the boundaries a little, a bit naughty I know, but so far it's looking kinda promising. All I want is to be able to dress at home every now and then (certainly not every day) when it's just my wife and I there without any repercussions to my well being! Pipe dream maybe - but I'm allowed to dream :daydreaming:


Once you put on a wig and wake up you change your identity and some just do not want to see a different person it instantly makes them feel uncomfortable which can be quite understandable ....

That's my thoughts exactly.

I have no desire to apply a face full of powder and a head full of long hair in front of my wife.

[Joanne f]

Just to give you an idea of what i mean i have a brown colour wig which i once put on with my wife , well i saw an instant reaction to it from her and asked " what is wrong" she replied "can you take that off please " which i did and she said put the blond one one , but i left it off and asked what was the difference , she replied " it just did not look like you in the brown one and i did not like that , she just did not like seeing someone else.
I never seam to keep them on for long in any case for some reason i like the no hair with makeup and long dangle earrings :heehee: ( i know i will never be a proper cross dresser) :heehee:

[BRANDYJ]

My SO likes for me to be dressed including makeup, but she prefers me to wear my own hair. She does not like the wigs. I don't feel dressed without a wig since my hair is not long enough to style fem. But if it makes her happy and she likes my look without it, I'm more then OK with it.

[Raychel]

It seems as though lately we are on the Don't ask, Don't tell plan. My wiife would rather not talk about it, although she will tolerate underdressing.

[Polly R]

things are a bit complicated with me and my SO, she tells me she has no problem with me being dressed around the house (and her) but I can tell that the words coming out of her mouth don't match her true feelings about it(like when you get a really crappy x-mas gift but you dont want to offend the person who gave it to you so you put on a fake smile and say thank you)...I can see the look of disapproval all over her when she See's me dressed, when I am dressed we mostly stay in different rooms(I try to follow her around but I can tell when I am not welcome). So on "paper" it is fine for me to dress as I choose but in reality she would rather not see it.

P.S. she does help me by buying things I want so she is in no way totally aginst it

Well I feel a little like that too, still unsure 100% whether she fully accepts Polly or not. I still feel awkward around her dressed en femme. Like yours (and many other SOs) she has helped me a great deal - bought me clothes, makeup - even done a couple of makeovers for me. I think she'd be happier with me if I looked a lot better and I certainly do look a lot better these days - probably would pass if I went out in daylight. It's just this awkwardness I feel when I'm in en femme mode around her. She married a fella and here he is looking like a girl... We do sit down together however but even after 30+yrs, this feeling still hasn't gone away... Perhaps it's more me than her but I can't 100% be sure.

xx Polly R

[JohnH]

I wear house dresses and conventional men's clothing around the house 60/40. My wife tolerates it but does not really like it. However, she has asked me a couple of times when I was going to start hormone treatment and last night she said, "John, you really want to be a woman."

Johanna

[Laura_Stephens]

Dressing in from of my wife is strickly verboten. No way, no how.

[xxprincess_tiffyxx]

My SO fully supports my dressing however much I want and whenever I want.
And I love to dress and be Tiffany with her. I feel more outgoing fun happy and free to be silly
And not so serious or stuck up as Tiffany. And Tiffany loves having friends to share herself with and to do things with.
Yay for accepting SO and those of us who love to share in one of our most exciting aspects of who we r which is of course our
Sexy fem sides. :)

[christinek]

Like Tiffany, my wife is soo accepting she buys most of my cloths and such. I get dressed almost daily now and she is OK with me getting my letter. It is amazing to see the vast differences in our significant others acceptance of us.

My Sis wants this so much more than I do and she too has a hard time with it at home wile I seeming have an easy go of it.

[laurajade]

When my wife and I lived alone, she would very occasionally (meaning not that often at all) let me wear something feminine around the house. But now that my wife is taking care of her grandmother and we are living at her place, that puts the kabosh on the whole thing.

Not really much different really, because if I was dressed (no makeup, wigs, or breasts) and we were playing cards, the minute she won the game (she always did) she would say something like "could you go back to being my man, now?"

[Dahlia007]

she would say something like "could you go back to being my man, now?"

I do know that feeling, I don't mind AT ALL when my SO dresses but once in awhile I like seeing the stinky boy as he calls himself underneath. However, I feel lucky to have the best of both worlds; the man I fell in love with that loves 4x4ing, fishing and big trucks, but im loving the girly confidence of Tiffany as well, being able to talk about our more common interests (hair, makeup, movies, music etc). Having a CDer as a SO has many perks it's just up to the SO whether they want to accept and embrace or shove it in the closet with the Christmas decorations. In my opinion, and this is just me, I don't think ANYONE should have to stifle how they feel best, most confident, most comfortable for anyone, wives included. But I understand that each situation has its own set of circumstances, so it's not so very cut and dry. I just know if the shoe (sky high black stilettos in our case) were on the other foot, I'd have to do what was best for me and my state of mind.

[tommi]

Totally non accepting keep it in the closet sleep on the coach and don't dare let her see a scrap.

[christinek]

Totally non accepting keep it in the closet sleep on the coach and don't dare let her see a scrap.

It sucks that some of us have to live like this. I feel for you. Too me that is a divorce in the making. Hugs