Going by your female name

[awesomestuff]

Hello everyone!

So things have been going really really well lately, I have told a few girlfriends (platonic) about my crossdressing, I've gotten comfortable shopping in public (not trying on but just buying), I even drove over to my friend Dana's place tonight in full femme and I think I might actually have passed tonight (except my face but I pulled my cute fur hood over my face). My actual girlfriend an myself have patched quite a bit up, I'm back on my anxiety medicine and I (with her help) realized that the predominant reason things were so rocky was that we were putting so much pressure on each other to figure out the future and everything that we were unable to deal with the present. My friends are even planning a girls sleepover for my birthday in a few months, in short, things are looking up!

I guess my current predicament is that as some of you pointed out, being called Stephanie could be confusing as to my true future intentions. I currently have no desire to try and transition into a full-time femme lifestyle but I do sometimes find it odd to be called Stephen when I am dressed. I was wondering if any of you go by a "femme name" when you are dressed up for the night?

[Lexi X]

This is something I'm going to have to confront soon. Its really weird. I identify myself by my male name. I like my name. Being called anything else seems weird but maybe it'll get easier with time?

[gwenbeth]

When im dressed im always Gwen. Sometimes even when im not.

[AnnaCalliope]

When I go out with friends en femme, most of them usually refer to me as Anna, but its not a big deal if someone slips up, since my male name is the gender neutral "Chris".

[JustineFallow]

I go by 'Justine' when dressed, but not because I feel like she's another personality or anything like that. It's just part of the package; when I went for makeovers they'd always insist on you giving yourself a femme name, and it felt proper.

[Holly]

What I have found is that having a female name helps put others at ease if you are presenting as female. It would just further confuse the issue if you were wearing a really cute outfit, did a fantastic job in your makeup and your wig was spot on and then introduced yourself as Butch :eek:!

[Lyndal]

Hi,
When I am dressed I always think of myself as Lyndal. I guess the rationale is that when I am dressed I am a girl (to me anyway) and i am indeed Lyndal.
Hugs Lyndal xxx

[Chickhe]

My name is actually gender neutral , but I don't use it. I haven't had much opportunity to give a name and it feels odd to use a different one, but when out with my wife we used, partner, husband... partner worked, husband got double takes ;-)

[DaphneGrey]

What I have found is that having a female name helps put others at ease if you are presenting as female. It would just further confuse the issue if you were wearing a really cute outfit, did a fantastic job in your makeup and your wig was spot on and then introduced yourself as Butch :eek:!

I feel exactly yhe same. For some time I was sure I didn't want one ultimately it was friends and my mom who decided on my name. Now I wouldn't have any other.

[Joanne f]

Due to lack of time i am hardly ever dressed fem these days ,always just androgynous though, but we still use Joanne every day ( we as in my wife and me).

[Babeba]

Being called Stephanie isn't really all that confusing, especially if your friends and girlfriend are already aware of your intentions. Getting all dressed up and putting on a new face, is like having another persona. You might not have heard of Katie Price/Jordan, but she's a model in the UK who is a bit of a tabloid queen who goes by Jordan in her professional life and Katie in private (well, sort of). She's not transitioning into a different person (well...) ok, at any rate she goes by the two names and there's times when she's Jordan and times when she's just Katie.

My point is, there's NOTHING WRONG with doing what you want, and what makes you feel comfortable!

Personally, my boyfriend and I use the name Crystal when he's dressing up, or discussing plans. This weekend we're thinking about having a little Crystal and Babs Shopping Trip (hopefully!) and we talk about when we're together with him dressed as having some Crystal Time. He's not going to transition, he's never even been out as dressed up as you have, but Crystal is a definite part of our lives and we're both happy with that fact. :-)


p.s. No word of a lie, my mom and her friends do a sleepover every year, and one of them ALWAYS buys matching pajamas/spa stuff for them all to wear and use! You should DOOOO IT!!!!!!! :-)

[PretzelGirl]

I think going by your femme name relates directly to the acceptance of the people you are around. If they accept you completely, they will likely call you by your femme name. If they don't, then fuggetaboutit. Then there are varying levels in between. My wife and my oldest daughter call me Sue off and on when I am dressed and we are out and the times they don't are purely forgetfulness. My youngest daughter delights in calling me Sue even if I am not dressed. She does it as soon as she gets home out of pure playfulness.

[Rogina B]

Rogina it is!!! And sometimes in boy mode as well with people that know the real me..

[Cynthia Anne]

I go by Cynthia Anne when dressed and my real friends call me Cynthia Anne all the time! I for one am not ashamed of being me!

[Rachel Morley]

Rogina it is!!! And sometimes in boy mode as well with people that know the real me..

Ditto ... err .. I mean not that I'm called Rogina, I mean that even in boy mode some people (in the know) call me Rachel. I would never consider dressing en femme and not be called anything other but Rachel. My wife often says to others at our TG support group's socials (when referring to my boy self) as "boy Rachel" when she wants to refer to my male side but not tell them my boy name.

[LitaKelley]

My name is used by both genders, although back in high school I was always teased that it's a "girl" name.. anyway, it took some getting used to as far as using my fem name when interacting with people, such as at tri-ess meetings and the get togethers with the Sisters group, etc as it is much different in actual use than when via internet. When I chose an en femme name, it was mostly because I thought I needed one for internet anonymity/identity, etc as I'd have no issues at all using my real name out in public since it would work, but having a fem name is also convenient if and when in drab with others and I can refer to my fem self in third person without others knowing what I'm talking about.. ie: like when shopping, I can say to wife "Oh, I think Lita would love this" and none of the passing shoppers would know that I'm referring to my self... but I do like my fem name :)

[AmberM]

When I go out dressing I will use Amber.

[2SpeedTranny]

It would just further confuse the issue if you were wearing a really cute outfit, did a fantastic job in your makeup and your wig was spot on and then introduced yourself as Butch :eek:!


That's the best part!!

Besides, even with the best outfit, makeup spot on... I'm still tall, still have a square jaw, ripped arms, big hands, broken nose, and Adam's apple... and a voice made for radio. No way in hell I'm convincing anyone, deaf, blind, or otherwise, that my name is Sally. Not to say that I don't pull it off well... I'm told I'm pretty for a tranny... but there's really no hiding the man beneath.

[t-girlxsophie]

.You might not have heard of Katie Price/Jordan, but she's a model in the UK who is a bit of a tabloid queen who goes by Jordan in her professional life and Katie in private (well, sort of). She's not transitioning into a different person (well...)
And most times she's a pain in the you know wat lol,you summed her up perfect Babeba:heehee:

I couldnt imagine not having a femme name,nd my wife is totally at ease with it(she actually picked a middle name for me) come to think of it she knew me as Sophie long before she knew my male name.It also is like a kind of code when were out when we talk of Sophie other shoppers,dont have the first clue im her lol,I also get txts from friends where they refer to me as Sophie in them.I love my femme name,if only couldve picked my birth name too lol.

:hugs:Sophie

[Tanya C]

I always go by my fem name whenever I'm dressed. After all, it's part of my female expresion too.

[Jay Cee]

I'm not a fan of my male name, and am still trying to figure out why my parents called me that. :) When en femme, definitely my femme name. And I don't mind at all if my gf uses my femme name sometimes when I'm in drab.

[Jilmac]

I always use my femme name when dressed, and feel very comfortable being called Jill when I'm out and about. I have several GG friends who refer to me as Jill even when I'm in male mode, but I'm not ashamed of either my male of femme name so I can use either one.

[Jennifer in CO]

I have for the most part been called by my initials since I was a child. When I transitioned back in 79, I continued to just use my initials as in the south a girl using her initials is not uncommon...and most people were used to that already so it made being accepted (and another excuse that I wasn't transitioning because I wanted to - long story) one less hurtle to jump over. There are only 6 people that have ever called me Jennifer to my face...Aunt, 3 cousins, granddad and grandmother. When I transitioned, I thought about changing my name to Jennifer but my wife didn't like the idea and gave numerous reasons...which I agreed to...

Jenn

[xxprincess_tiffyxx]

When I'm dressed I feel like I'm Tiffany and I'd like to go by Tiffany or Tiff or Tiffy.
But ur SO or friends have to be comfortable with it, similar to using a girl voice I suppose.

[kimdl93]

I could devote a page on my name, but I'll spare you all. My given name is Kimberly. Yes, I was born male, but evidently Mom didn't know it was a girls name. And as it turns out, even as a preschooler my gender identity was at the very least, blurred. So, it wasn't a problem finding my feminine name. I already had it.

Do you think Mom was on to something?

[Debb]

I picked "Bethany Marie" somewhat quickly, without thinking. A better choice would have been something that matches the initials of my "real", male, name.

An even better choice, when I think about it too much, would have been to just stick with "Dave". I like my name, and I don't really resemble a woman even when I'm really trying ... and half the time, I just wish that I'd stuck with the name that's been attached to me for almost 50 years.

[Alice B]

When I am dressed and go out I go only by Alice and everyone knows me only by that name, with a couple of exceptions.

[drushin703]

While emfemme everyone calls me Dana...But Dana is my real name...

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I think you should use what ever name you want to use. Remember "A rose by any other name, is still a rose."

I use Kim when ever I am dressed. Why? It just feels right. It sounds similar to my boy name so if my wife slips up and uses my boy name, it's no big deal.

If I could only have been like Kimberly and been given that name at birth.

[Maxi]

I have been referred to as Maxi long before I started cross dressing. It fits me well. I live life to the maximum.

[Nancie64]

My SO and her sister call me Nancie when fem and my SO uses Nancie when we happen to be shopping and she sees something that might be nice for Nancie. No one pays any attention, or not that I have noticed. When she thinks we should have a visitor, she will ask if Nancie is coming to visit. When fem and we take a ride she always refers to Nancie as her partner. And no she is not bi. I love being called Nancie, it kind of completes the process.

[kimdl93]

One odd thought - one of my business associates has designated me an "honorary girl" and calles me Marta. I guess Kim wasn't feminine enough!

[2B Natasha]

Well Dave. Names can be very personal or we can be detached from them. You like Dave and that's great and you should go with it. I on the other hand have almost no attachment to my drab name. Never really did. It's unique in the sense that it's unusual. But I have no attachment to it. In drab you can pretty much call me anything you want. I don't care. En Femme is a different story. I started out with lisalotte as a name. Most people assumed it was not really a name and that I made a compound out of lisa allot. They would shorten it to Lisa. Ok. I s'pose Lisa is a good name. Problem was. I wasn't a Lisa. I am not bubbly, fun loving, cute and sassy and flirty. After a long look at myself. I settled on Natasha. It fits me. Dark, serious, drinks red wine. Makes no appologies. Goes her own way. I am very attached to Natasha. Very.

[Traci]

When I first started dressing and was fairly closeted I didn't really think of a fem name. But as my journey has taken me out in public more and more it only made sense to have "num de plume". I also have no interest in transitioning any further (just an outgoing crossdresser) but it completes the transformation that I do enjoy.

[Rianna Humble]

When I first came on these forums, my name was a way of covering my (then) male identity and also establishing my female identity. That changed on 1st July last year as I no longer have a male name.

[Scarlett90]

I love going by my femm name while dressed as well. The name Scarlett has a suggestive feel to it, i love it :)

[Katie Louise]

When I'm dressed i only answer to Siobhan. Plain and simple. My male side is on the shelf at home.

[izzfan]

Whilst my male name is technically androgynous when abbreviated, it's still seen as a mostly male name (I've only ever met about one or two women who go by this name). The wierd thing was that it took me a long time to work out another name for myself.

Eventually, I settled on "Claire" (Sophie, Fiona, Jill, Heather and Jadzia all seemed like possible names at one point or another but they didn't feel right for some reason) for a whole bunch of reasons. One of them is that I'm a fan of the old "Resident Evil" games and Claire Redfield is one of my favourite characters (my male name is also shared by a character in Resident Evil).

Video games aside, other reasons I settled on "Claire" include the fact that I've never met anyone called Claire who I didn't get on with. Also, the name "Claire" means "Bright,shining and famous" and it accurately describes my mood when I do not have to act/appear/ be male.