Do you think... Were narciissitic?

[Myojine]

I have always wondered this so a few months ago i started to anylize behavior of people.
Mostly those who are part of an odd offshoot of society. namely us, CDers and Transgenders.

And ive had a sort of correctly predicted realization,
Much of our behavior rings somehwat of a "Self absorbed" air.
Dress and tell if you will.
Not that that is a bad thing because if not then we'd have no real community to chitchat with each other about this. but no real serious topics could really exist and want to be shared with out some narcissistic intention.
Now thats not to say that CDers and TG arent the only people
not by a long shot
Its said that most facebook users are narcissistc to a degree. The willing ness to sahre and say "Love me" "pay attention to me"

But our place here really isnt that so much persay but more of a "Look at what i did, now validate it for me" attittude.
but again thats not a bad thing.

so realy im i looking at it correctly?
Or maybe im over observing?

[Torrey]

That's an interesting take on it. I have wondered the same about myself. Am I just being self-indulgent? Perhaps.

[sissystephanie]

I don't think I am Narcissistic to any degree. Yes, I do have a page on Facebook, because my daughter put it there! I have put my friends on there, but have never done anything else with it and probably won't. I am not sure what is meant by a "self-absorbed' air! Read the following and see if you think I am "self-absorbed!"

As far as crossdressing is concerned, I dress simply because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothes. I have never wanted to be a woman, I just want to dress like one. I dress to please my self, not the rest of the world. If other people don't like the way I dress, that is their problem not mine! I just don't much attention to what other think of me when I am out and about! My dear wife did my makeup and fixed my wig so I could go out as Stephanie for the entire time we had together. Now that she has passed on, I go out as the man that I look like but dressed totally enfemme!! Been doing that for several years and have never had a problem!!

I live my life as I see fit, and expect others to do the same. I do not question what others do, unless they are hurting someone else by what they are doing!

[Fab Karen]

–noun
1.
inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2.
Psychoanalysis: erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes.
I bolded key words.

P.S. If a woman changes her hair style/color, is she being self-indulgent? If you say yes, does that mean it's a terrible thing for her to do?

[Myojine]

–noun
1.
inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2.
Psychoanalysis: erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes.
I bolded key words.

P.S. If a woman changes her hair style/color, is she being self-indulgent? If you say yes, does that mean it's a terrible thing for her to do?

remember i didnt mean anything negative by the word narcissistic.
I used the word to embody the idea.

[Eryn]

P.S. If a woman changes her hair style/color, is she being self-indulgent? If you say yes, does that mean it's a terrible thing for her to do?

Good point. We're being about as narcissistic (<---thank goodness for spell check!) as the GG that we're emulating.

Now, if that GG happens to be Imelda Marcos... :eek:

[Avana]

definitely self-involved.

[kimmy p]

Well....Yes. To a certain degree at least. Most people have at least a small amount of narcisist in them. If we don't then why put the effort into your looks. I also think that there are enough of us on this forum who are still closeted that our inner narcissist comes out simply because there is no where else for it to go. Heck, only my wife and 2 others know about me for sure. But I do like to come here and "Brag" once in a while if I do something I think is exciting, brave, or daring. There are also different levels of narcisist. Most here take the time to comment and admire or give compliments to other members. There are a couple though who never say anything to other members and only post or comment on themselves. I'm not complaining, too each their own. Before I stop, I hope that I didn't "P" anyone off here. That wasn't my intention.

[Shayna2008]

I don't consider it narcissistic. Especially if a CD'r doesn't get to dress full-time. It's always interesting in my opinion to look in the mirror as a TG person because you get to physically see the "other" you. It's fascinating to me. There can be an erotic thing to it if that's an aspect of the experience you enjoy. There's no reason a GG can't get turned-on by seeing herself all dressed-up and made-up before she goes out on the town Sat night for example. I'll admit I look in the mirrors a lot because I want to make sure hair, make-up an such are alright, because I don't want to walk around the public areas looking silly. Also if someone does go out and decides to report it to us here, I think it's wonderful. It takes courage and determination to get ready, and go out and realistically function in the public as a member of the opposite sex; especially if it's your first time out. I don't see it as bragging at all. Validating can create a sense of community, and it provides an opportunity to offer wisdom, comfort and advice. You can never have enough of that when learning and living as a CD.

[Stephanie Anne]

FIrst transgender encompasses crossdressers so there is no tg and cd. TG is CD and CD is TG. Second, many crossdressers have obsessive and possibly compulsive behavior based on projected excitement over the illusion of physical alteration. Don't confuse that with narcissism. It is an addictive trait perpetuated by a displacement of emotional and physical arousal. Last, never confuse the self confidence needed by a transsexual with narcism. It is the removal of self doubt and replacement of acceptance that allows us to be able to face the world.

I have found that anytime a person states the equivalent of themselves being a people watcher, they are painfully withdrawn from society at large due to the perception of harm in a public situation. You are not over observing, you are making an assumption based on personal projections. Imagine yourself being thrust into that very world that you seem to be withdrawing from. Unless you stop caring abou the harm that you fear can be done to you, there is no way you are going to step outside. That ability to face ridicule is what you are confusing with narcism and until you get over your fears, it will keep eating you up inside.

What I would hope to see is why you felt the need to make such a passively agressive post that seems to be plea for approval.

[Chickhe]

I don't think so... because most CDers have kept this activity to themselves most of their lives and given the opportunity to share with others it is only natural to talk about yourself, show pictures etc. I have not seen too many people here telling everyone they are god's gift to humankind... on the contrary, most of us think we look pretty unconvincing, but the reality is many of us look great!

[docrobbysherry]

I can only speak for myself and Sherry!

I'm not the LEAST BIT narcissistic. Sherry, however, is QUITE THE DIVA! SHE'S the one with all the "friends" on Facebook and Myspace! Not I!

[Charlena]

I don't think so... because most CDers have kept this activity to themselves most of their lives and given the opportunity to share with others it is only natural to talk about yourself, show pictures etc. I have not seen too many people here telling everyone they are god's gift to humankind... on the contrary, most of us think we look pretty unconvincing, but the reality is many of us look great!

We look great because that is our reality. Peace

[kimdl93]

I suspect that most humans are self involved to a degree. Its not all bad. As we often hear said, you must love yourself before you can really love others.

[xxprincess_tiffyxx]

I think I can be a bit narcissistic or concieted as Tiffany. Whatever u wanna call it.
My GG SO calls tiffany a diva, and I can't deny it. It makes me feel good to look my best.
When I do get all dolled up I feel so pretty and confident and sexy, I love it.$
As a guy I feel blah average at best nothing really special, just a regular dirty stinky ass boy.
Which don't get me wrong can be fun too.
But recently since I'm open and my SO and I share in all of this together I just always wanna be dressed up.
I just feel sexier, to me Tiffany is that hot chich everyone looks at, whether its true or not I think that's how I feel.
So call it diva, narcissistic, self involved conceited or whatever. That's how I feel.

[Fab Karen]

I used the word to embody the idea.
The definition is the idea being expressed- if you don't intend that meaning, you've used the wrong word.

[RachelOKC]

I'll let you know my thoughts on the subject as soon as I am done admiring myself in the mirror.

[cordgrass]

There's no reason a GG can't get turned-on by seeing herself all dressed-up and made-up before she goes out on the town Sat night for example.

I can honestly say the only times I've ever turned myself on by looking in the mirror are when I'm dressed up like a man.

[Megan70]

Well of course we are. Wake up and smell the roses and get out of that pink fog state of denial!. I'll be the first one and perhaps one of the only ones here that will be totally honest with myself and own up to being Narcissistic, conceited, self centered, selfish and all those other wonderful attributes that we ( transvestites) have come to embody.Yeah its a real cool "gift" to have isn't it,?? a real popularity attribute.:sad:
Why do you think we admire ourselves so much in the mirror?. Why do we stroke our body running our hands up and down our lingerie and stockings and thinking we're the greatest, prettiest thing thats come along since Cher ( talk about seconceited... the Queen herself. So if the joke goes,If you want to murder a transvestite ( sorry want to use the old term word here for a change)... throw his/her mirror in the bottom of the pool. If she drowns shes narcissistic, if she bobs to the surface for air, its to come up and see the light.:doh:
O.K. slither me in shavings, I really don't care, just my two cents:2c: what to me is a VERY obvious answer.:Angry3:

Megan

[Frédérique]

Much of our behavior rings somehwat of a "Self absorbed" air.

You might want to look up the term autogynephilia, my dear, unless you’re too self-absorbed…:straightface:

[Karren H]

I don't even know what that word means.... I just like people to tell me how pretty I am.... Even if they are lying... Lol. If that makes me more of a pervert than I already am then so be it. :)

[Sarah Doepner]

It's like this. If I don't like myself how can I get anyone else to like me? But I am not my own biggest fan, I am my own worst critic, so it gets really uncomfortable sharing these attempts at beauty with someone who thinks I should stay in the closet. It's a love-hate relationship. But that's okay because it turns out to be normal.

[NathalieX66]

This narcisissm thing....does it involve mirrors? :rolleyes:

[Megan70]

This narcisissm thing....does it involve mirrors? :rolleyes:Yeah... big time, the three way kind outside dressing rooms. Sometimes there's smoke with those mirrors to really blur your vision into complete narcissism:heehee:

[Sophie86]

You know that song by Carly Simon? It was totally about me...

[OccasionalSkirt]

No serious topics exist? Uhm, beg to differ. Last I checked people talked about surgery, loved ones, acceptance, and a smattering of other topics.

Yes, we do indulge in some photos, some clothing discussion, and beauty discussion. But last I checked, that was because this is a crossdressing forum, devoted to crossdressing, which by its very definition involves dressing up and using beauty products.

If it was an electrical engineering forum, we'd focus on Ohms law, Faradays principle, the speed of light, and all that good stuff. Would that make us self-indulgent?

I think the distinction would be if you spent an overwhelming (>75%) of your time focused on yourself. Since I assume most people have jobs, friends, other commitments, etc., I think this is quite hard. Sure, I may think about crossdressing throughout the day, but if I total the hours of daydreaming and the hours of buying clothes and getting dressed, it would not be anywhere close to 75%.

And, on the flip side, if you never spend anytime on yourself...would it be because you're kinda boring?

[RachelOKC]

This narcisissm thing....does it involve mirrors? :rolleyes:

Wikipedia knows all... :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(mythology)

[Ericka2]

By what I understand and know about Narcissism is a story about a very handsome young man that loved himself so much that spent so much time starring at himself by his reflection at a lake, that he just drowned there, if I or we were something close to him why would we want to change our appearance and look like a woman? Not even close my friend...

Love, Ericka

[Katesback]

From my observations TS women tend to fall far more into the narsisistic catagory than CDs.

[DaphneGrey]

FIrst transgender encompasses crossdressers so there is no tg and cd. TG is CD and CD is Tg


Second, many crossdressers have obsessive and possibly compulsive behavior based on projected excitement over the illusion of physical alteration. Don't confuse that with narcissism. It is an addictive trait perpetuated by a displacement of emotional and physical arousal. Last, never confuse the self confidence needed by a transsexual with narcism. It is the removal of self doubt and replacement of acceptance that allows us to be able to face the world.

I have found that anytime a person states the equivalent of themselves being a people watcher, they are painfully withdrawn from society at large due to the perception of harm in a public situation. You are not over observing, you are making an assumption based on personal projections. Imagine yourself being thrust into that very world that you seem to be withdrawing from. Unless you stop caring abou the harm that you fear can be done to you, there is no way you are going to step outside. That ability to face ridicule is what you are confusing with narcism and until you get over your fears, it will keep eating you up inside.

What I would hope to see is why you felt the need to make such a passively agressive post that seems to be plea for approval.

First I would disagree with you on TG\CD statement and I think many on this board would as well. Crossdressing is an activity that many people do for many reasons. I definitely by definition crossdress, however I don't really consider myself a crossdresser in the sense that this is not a hobby or an activity for me. (Not that I am in any way looking down on anybody who identifies that way) It is my life. As much as I hate labels, the term Transgender is more descriptive of my state of being. So I use it when people ask. The OP is just recognizing that there are people who identify differently for different reasons.

As far as your second point The OP was not talking about obsessive compulsive behavior based on the projected excitement over the illusion of physical alteration. (a condition I am sure exists) but really has nothing to do with her question.

As far as your third point is concerned. The question is directly related to posting on this forum. What she is asking quite simply is, Do you think we are being a narcissistic when we post things on this forum. I don't recall her mentioning Self Confidence, Going out to face the world, the removal of doubt, or the replacement of acceptance. So having not mentioned that at all, To say it is quite a leap on your part to make the statement, that she was confusing that with narssisim. As a matter of fact its laughable, not to mention rude!

Someone intellectually analyzing the behavior of group of people in an anthropological manner is quite different from the "people watcher who is painfully withdrawn from society" You ASSUME she is! Ability to face ridicule? It doesn't even deserve comment.

But why stop there lets also accuse the OP of writing passive aggressive post to make herself feel better. Do you make this up as you go along? Hello pot its the kettle I am calling you black!

Usually when you pop into CD|TG threads post are mildly annoying. This one, not only is it wrong it is just downright mean!

To answer the question posted by the OP

If I understand the question correctly you are asking about the I, we, me threads. I went here, did that etc...

No I don't think we are in general. We post here for many reasons. Some to ask questions others to share experiences. I think when telling of our experiences
it is impossible not to sound a bit self absorbed. It is funny back when I first started to come out and would post such things I felt the same thing and started a similar thread. It is just the nature of forums. I agree that this unique digital community we have here is quit different than the social networking sites like Facebook. narccistic? I suppose there are some but I would say in general no.



I hope that helps.

[Rianna Humble]

FIrst transgender encompasses crossdressers so there is no tg and cd. TG is CD and CD is TG.

First I would disagree with you on TG\CD statement and I think many on this board would as well. Crossdressing is an activity that many people do for many reasons. I definitely by definition crossdress, however I don't really consider myself a crossdresser in the sense that this is not a hobby or an activity for me. (Not that I am in any way looking down on anybody who identifies that way) It is my life. As much as I hate labels, the term Transgender is more descriptive of my state of being. So I use it when people ask. The OP is just recognizing that there are people who identify differently for different reasons.

I would have to take issue with both of you for different reasons.

Stephanie is making a leap in a slightly wrong direction based on the first part of her statement which is true. All cross-dressers are transgender (their behaviour crosses the gender boundary) but the second part does not follow that all transgender people are cross-dressers. It is like the old fallacy used to illustrate logic errors: "all dogs are animals, humans are animals therefore humans are dogs and dogs are human".

Daphne states that she cross dresses but that for her cross-dressing is not an activity. If you cross-dress then you are performing the action of cross-dressing ergo it is an activity. Whatever the reason for doing so, if you cross-dress you are someone who cross-dresses (or in short a cross-dresser).

It may well be true that if you cross-dress because you are transgender then it is more accurate to state who you are (transgender) rather than what you do (cross-dress).

We cannot be certain that the OP really intended to address her question both to those TG's who do cross-dress and to those who do not. IMNSHO it is more likely that the OP was making the common mistake of using TG when she meant TS.

To the original question "Do you think we are narcissistic?", I would have to reply that the OP's reasoning seems to be flawed. She has taken her observations of a small sample from amongst the forums here (presumably the Beauty Club and Picture and Video Gallery) and projected those onto the whole of the forums.

It is not narcissistic to post in the Beauty Club looking for advice on how to do make-up or sharing a new product that one has come across - in fact both of those activities are the opposite of narcissism.

It is not narcissistic to post photos of onesself and ask for opinions and criticism - the narcissist would not want either.

It is not narcissistic to post in MtF or any of the other support forums whether it be to share some joy or seek support for some dilemma or other. Neither is it narcissistic to offer the support being sought. A narcissist would not have time for the other person's joys or tribulations.