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View Full Version : My experiment in androgyny



Xenia
02-02-2011, 02:19 AM
I've mentioned a time or two on this forum that, even though I'm nowhere near confident enough to be going out fully en femme, I've found that a more androgynous look is more within my comfort zone: Every now and then when my wife and I go out for drinks or dinner, I'll dress in my usual guy mode, but with eye makeup. Thanks to the influence of the girls at the local MAC counter, I tend towards a more dramatic look, with my wife often wryly commenting that I'm usually wearing more makeup than most of the women in the place.

Now, this is always fun, and I've never had any overtly negative responses, but there's only so much satisfaction that can come from getting semi-dolled up for an outing to a dimly-lit bar where the only interactions will usually be with the waitstaff and some half-drunk strangers we'll never see again. I thought it might be fun to see how such a look would play out in a more open setting.

As luck would have it, my wife and I decided to head to a Scrabble tournament in Atlantic City this past weekend. (Yes, such things do exist.....and yes, we are such big fat nerds that our idea of fun is driving five hours to spend a weekend playing 19 games of Scrabble.) It seemed like a good opportunity to see what kind of response I'd get from the friends, casual acquaintances, and dozens of other folks we'd see there.

I'm happy to report that things went quite well. One of our friends, a sixtyish high-society type woman, was nonplussed but seemed amused ("You're wearing more makeup than I am! Why are you wearing makeup? It's not Halloween! What's next, a gown and heels?" Ha! If only she knew!). One of our younger friends insisted that I do her makeup for her next time she visits. A couple of other folks declared me "very pretty," and totally didn't sound sarcastic. :) One semi-creepy older guy that I'd never met before sidled up to me at lunch and started flirting a bit, but wasn't overly persistent when I mentioned my wife.

Other than that, and the occasional double-take from passersby.....not really much else. No one telling me I was weird, or avoiding me, or attempting to perform an impromptu exorcism. Most folks acted as if nothing even remotely unusual was going on. I'd been prepared to deflect the occasional barb, and was almost disappointed that I didn't have to. :)

I'd decided ahead of time that if any of our friends asked point-blank "Hey, does this mean you're a crossdresser?" that I'd discuss things honestly. But that never happened, even when my wife mentioned during lunch with a couple of close friends that "he spends ten times as much on makeup as I do!" But honestly, between this, and the painted toenails that I have on display during warm-weather months, and the shaped eyebrows that have been the topic of past conversations, all the dots are pretty much out there for anyone to connect. I guess I'd have to say it's reassuring that most folks in our circle don't really think it's that big a deal.

So aside from the fact that I spent three days totally sucking at Scrabble:straightface:, it was a pretty positive weekend.

Oh, here's the look I went with on Sunday, if anyone's curious (the first pics I've ever posted here, yay!):

http://i1177.photobucket.com/albums/x352/key-lime-guy/100_1327.jpg
http://i1177.photobucket.com/albums/x352/key-lime-guy/100_1323.jpg

2SpeedTranny
02-02-2011, 02:34 AM
I don't think anyone at a Scrabble tournament is going to be real critical of others' lifestyle choices... :devil: (Just kidding -- I love Scrabble.)

Way to go, glad you had fun... and now I need more MAC stuff. :daydreaming: What colors you have there?

Xenia
02-02-2011, 03:22 AM
Way to go, glad you had fun... and now I need more MAC stuff. :daydreaming: What colors you have there?

More MAC stuff is always a noble goal! The main color I used is actually an Urban Decay (my other fave brand) shadow called "Haight", and there's some MAC "Black Tied" and "Plumage" around the edges.

danielle.cd
02-02-2011, 06:40 AM
o look its captain jack sparrows, lol, i think its cool, looks good on ya

Jay Cee
02-02-2011, 07:35 AM
o look its captain jack sparrows, lol, i think its cool, looks good on ya

True! Or a young Eddy Izzard. Totally a great look for you. I might try that (in the safety of my own home), just to see how it would look. If I can bring myself to grow a couple days worth of stubble.

Gina X
02-02-2011, 07:45 AM
I think the stubble gives you the androgynous look if you were clean shaven I think you would have looked a lot more femme although I would hate to have stubble personally it seems to work for you and you look good.........

Cynthia Anne
02-02-2011, 07:55 AM
I like it! Starting a new trend?? Love that color and the earrings look nice too!

Janet too
02-02-2011, 09:00 AM
I just have to say I love the look and the color. I can only imagine how nice you would appear if you did shave off your stubble. Very nice facial features and bone structure. Seems as though you are very comfortable and enjoying the time with a very understanding SO.

kimdl93
02-02-2011, 09:52 AM
I agree with Janet too, above. I think you have great features - especially great eyes. I've been doing the andro thing in public for a while now - some mascara and a little eye shadow....usually in earth tones, along with women's tops and heels. So far, no bad reactions at all!

Jennifer in CO
02-02-2011, 09:54 AM
I saw a story once about a chess player who wore similar makeup and sometimes "girly" as the artical put it clothes during a match. Weither it was for personal expression or not, his "excuse" was it can be distracting to the opposing players...

Jenn

JohnH
02-02-2011, 12:04 PM
I say shave the stubble off or let it grow into a beard. I prefer that the stubble be shaved off, but the beard is still better than stubble.

Johanna

msginaadoll
02-02-2011, 07:36 PM
I say dont change at all. Ya got a look that is rocking to me. Kind of a Dave Navarro look. Heck you might even make scrabble cool to a new generation. Instead of poker tournaments on cable, we have extreme scrabble. I say keep the facial stubble it works for you.

Angiemead12
02-02-2011, 07:42 PM
props to you for pushing the boundaries!

donnatracey
02-02-2011, 08:08 PM
Love those eyes!

Gennifer
02-02-2011, 08:15 PM
Xenia,

Thanks for starting this thread. I have also been thinking about taking steps by trying out make up, clothes, etc., without going "all the way." I have used make up, not much, but a little, and really enjoy it. I think there is something to be said for crossing boundaries this way.

thanks again. Your eyes rock.

Areyan
02-02-2011, 08:57 PM
men should wear makeup :straightface: it would lessen the shock factor for most people if they were able to embrace this type of thing. i say go androynous, go goth, do it up like you can as a MAN if you like it. there is nothing wrong with MEN wearing makeup. even as i am, if i looked more androgynous i would still enjoy eye makeup and i don't see issues with it as a "look". some men look like truckers, some like science geeks, some like macho sports players, and some are also emo and goth. none of this is wrong or less manly imho. go bois! :thumbsup:

MsJanessa
02-02-2011, 09:20 PM
I just have to say I love the look and the color. I can only imagine how nice you would appear if you did shave off your stubble. Very nice facial features and bone structure. Seems as though you are very comfortable and enjoying the time with a very understanding SO.
couldn't agree more---you have a lot of femme potential---love the eyemake up and with a close shave and some face makeup you would be gorgeous---so take the plunge

Xenia
02-02-2011, 09:35 PM
Awww, you guys are all so sweet. :)

The stubble was more the result of laziness than an intrinsic part of the look....I was clean-shaven on Saturday morning, but didn't get a good pic of that day's makeup. Then I didn't bother re-shaving on Sunday (my face doesn't like the feel of a blade two days in a row), and the pics were taken right before bed.

And since the post was framed in the context of a Scrabble tourney, I'd be remiss not to include this link:

Scrabble championship won by colourful Mikki Nicholson (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11662754)

(I posted that in the "Media" section a few months back, but who reads that section anyway? :))

One of the comments a friend made was "So, are you trying to follow in Mikki's footsteps?"


couldn't agree more---you have a lot of femme potential---love the eyemake up and with a close shave and some face makeup you would be gorgeous---so take the plunge

Plunge already taken. Results here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?131545-Boy-Mode-vs-Girl-Mode-Pics-II&p=2399110&highlight=#post2399110). Don't know about "gorgeous," but I'd say I look......acceptable. :)

ThiHi
02-03-2011, 11:58 PM
Great look, and the pics are great! Very nice. Fab indeed

insearchofme
02-04-2011, 10:19 AM
Your eyes are awesome!