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View Full Version : A smile and happy attitude goes very far with others



Amanda22
02-03-2011, 01:23 PM
I believe we possess so much power to influence others' perception of us as crossdressers. I've always made an effort to smile a lot and appear happy even before coming out of the closet last year. But now more than ever, it seems that a smile and exuding an attitude that there's absolutely nothing wrong with myself as a crossdresser has a huge effect on how others react to me.

I live in a conservative area (Chattanooga, TN, USA), so my expectation of tolerance is pretty low. However, I've found that when I dress, my smile disarms people and shows them I'm actually human and not a freak. Don't get me wrong, my smile isn't better than anyone else's. I'm lucky to pass pretty well, so that helps. But even when I don't pass, a smile and acting like I belong wherever I happen to be works wonders. People respond positively and with respect. Especially women.

Today, I had a little extra time and headed to my local Coldwater Creek store. It sells women's clothing exclusively, and is suited to my age group (35-50?). I really enjoy dressing age-appropriately. Anyhow, I was in boy mode. I waltzed in there and browsed like I was shopping for food at the grocery. The three saleswomen loved it! I just smiled and said I was looking for some spring tops. Within minutes, they started a rack for me and were falling over themselves to match the best colors to my skin tone and put together some nice combinations of tops and sweaters. I used the employee bathroom as a changing room since their changing rooms are female-only. They all wanted to know my name and gave me each of theirs. They expressed gratitude to me for being there and asked me to come back soon. They even gave me a nice discount!

I think if I'd slinked in as though I didn't belong and doing something "wrong," I would have been treated with suspicion. It would be understandable. I'd be suspicious of anyone acting that way.

I was at the mall last week dressed in a nice grey, wool, pencil skirt, black sweater, grey ribbed tights and black pumps. I sat near the garden area where there is lots of seating and watched the shoppers go by. I presented a very natural, feminine, proud, and happy appearance. I looked quite good. I received a lot of attention, all of it positive. I think a couple of women read me, but I just smiled and they immediately smiled very genuinely in return. I definitely sensed an outpouring of acceptance in their smiles and expressions.

I hope this message will inspire others to project happiness. I can't be anything but happy and smile when I'm dressed as a woman, in fact. :heehee:

kimdl93
02-03-2011, 01:31 PM
I definately agree - a positive demeanor goes a long way in almost any life situation. I haven't found the courage or resolve to go out entirely en femme, but recently I've made a few shopping forays wearing a woman's top, bra & ehancers (a bit understated compared to full forms), lip color and mascara. I certainly didn't pass or blend as female, but anyone close probably could discern both the make up and forms. I talked to SAs and even a couple of women shopping and all I received were smiles and friendly exchanges.

Laurie A
02-03-2011, 02:41 PM
Good story. Thanks for the great advice. It seems like there has been a lot of Debby Downer threads around here lately. We could all use a little more sunshine!

AllieSF
02-03-2011, 02:50 PM
Amanda, you echo my exact same experiences when dealing with people, except for the shopping details. I talk with everyone when out, smile, use humor, admit who I am and they are all accepting and tolerating. I could not ask for anything else. The smile and natural presentation just like anyone else is so disarming for them. of the hundreds, maybe thousands of strangers I have interacted with maybe 2 or 3 were so so. Great advice.

t-girlxsophie
02-03-2011, 05:07 PM
I agree with you wholeheartedly Amanda.As I have said before My last couple of times I have been out were the first Time I had been truly comfortable,and I have been going out dressed 10 yrs now.I was with my Wife and I felt more need to be confident and assured.We went to more "mainstream" places,and its no exaggeration but we never noticed any negativity,even though most people knew I wasn't female.

I looked straight ahead,kept my head up,smiled and looked ppl in the eye and the experience was so positive,we even went into a packed Pizza Hut and Interacted with other customers and waitresses and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.It makes for a better experience and makes you feel ten feet tall:)

:hugs:Sophie

carhill2mn
02-03-2011, 05:10 PM
You are absolutely right! I have proved your theory many times.

sissystephanie
02-03-2011, 06:21 PM
Amanda, you are absolutely right. A smile and Happy Attitude will always win out! I have tried to always be happy and project a smile all the time. It was very hard, but I even managed to smile when I lost my wife to cancer almost 6 years ago. I smiled then because the Good Lord did not make her suffer!! I try to have a smile on my face whenever I am out in public. and especially when I am dressed enfemme!! It is not hard, because I am happy!!

Jorja
02-03-2011, 06:51 PM
Always go in like you belong there. That goes for crossdressing, business meetings, or lunch.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." ~Winston Churchill

Rogina B
02-03-2011, 08:48 PM
Like Jorja said...do it like you belong there..and you do! I have never had a bit of trouble in the wide range of surroundings over the years...Enjoy being an out and about girl...a whole lot better than the closet..I imagine!

Cynthia Anne
02-03-2011, 09:34 PM
I sure like your advice! I might say it may not work every time but for me I would say nine out of ten times people treat me with respect! I smile because I do belong!