I feel like I am losing my Jay Cee mojo.

[Jay Cee]

I've been at a new job site for a few weeks now. Whereas my last site was pretty relaxed (no hard hats, could wear women's jeans, hiking shoes, etc), this one has much more strict safety guidelines. I cant wear my usual jeans, as they would get destroyed in a day - they are too fragile. Oh, and a lot more rednecks here, which really affects the emotional atmosphere.

I kind of feel like I am losing Jay Cee in all of this. While I don't feel more masculine, I do feel like I have to put on a show, to some extent. I know, I know - "to thine ownself, be true". Still, it kind of takes a toll on me. I come home, and scarcely feel like crossdressing anymore.

What to do, what to do? Recommendations, anyone? Will Jay Cee come back? How do I bring her back? Should I try to bring her back?

[AnnaCalliope]

I know the feeling. Having worked in the warehouse and logistics departments for both Home Depot and Target, I can tell you its almost exactly the same. 90% male, 90% homophobic. Everyday I had to put on this mask of over-testosterone manly BS that frankly just drove me nuts by day's end. I'm not an overly effeminate guy, but having to bite my tongue so many times a day because of a comment that could be gay or even gay friendly. Around guys like that, being accepting or even tolerant of GBLT folk, unless it was the ubiquitous hot bisexual girl and her lesbian girlfriend, usually resulted in name calling, abuse and being accused of homosexuality. "Oh, you think its okay to be gay? You must love to suck dick!" I'm glad I got out of that.

Can you underdress at all? Even wear a pair of white cotton panties helps, something to keep you connected to your femme self.

I've learned that no matter how much testosterone you are exposed to, or start feeling, your inner femme self will find her way back to the top of the hill. This isn't something that a few rednecks at work are going to have a permanent effect on. Otherwise, all those therapists who think we are sexual deviants would open offices at roadhouse bars.

Don't directly crossdress, but rather allow yourself some femme time. Take a bubble bath, paint your toe-nails, listen to Enya or Lady GaGa or whatever female artist you most appreciate. Have a glass of wine and check out the latest issue of Cosmo. Soon enough, I'm sure you'll start seeing Jay Cee in the mirror again.