Surprising Phone Call

[AKAMichelle]

As many of you know now, back in November and December I was on EHarmony. I had made the decision that their was no hope for my marriage and finishing the divorce only to have that decision reversed on New Years Eve. We ended up getting back together and things are rather tough at times as expected. I have no idea the outcome, but we just move one step at a time.

2 days ago I got a call from one of the women that I had gone out with it, but never fully cancelled everything. I thought that I gave her no hope, but she felt that I was just backing off for awhile. Needless to say she called. I was very nice, but haven't told her that I was back with my wife yet. I am planning on doing so next week, but she asked me what the big thing was that I wouldn't tell her was. See I called it off because I didn't expect that she would accept. I was wrong. I told her the secret because I wasn't going to see her again, but I was curious if I was right about her not accepting. NOPE!

She told me that she had a uncle who crossdressed and a neighbor who is transitioning. She was very accepting and asked a lot of questions. After the phone call she sent me an email wanting to meet Michelle. She wanted to go shopping and dinner with Michelle. Now I don't think that I will ever do that, but it was very interesting.

The moral of the story is that I always went to traditional dating sites and seeked women. I never told anyone in the profile that I was a cd'er but yet I have told 5 women and had 4 accept. 2 of them have gone out with me dressed as Michelle while one more have asked to. If you think that you can't find someone out there to accept you, then you are missing the whole point of this story. There are plenty of women who accept us out there. They come from all walks of life, but you must be truthful. I have told everyone of the women in the first 3 dates and had these results. So if you are wanting to meet someone, then get off the couch and do it. Tell them the truth and nothing but the truth about you. You will be very surprised to find a lot of accepting women ready to go out with you.

Good luck to each of you. Happy Dating! :D

[RADER]

Wow; you must have a huge magnet in your pocket.
I wish you luck with your wife, maybe she See's that the best thing in life
is rite before her eyes.

Rader

[docrobbysherry]

If I ever have a SECOND date with any of my online ladies, I'll remember what u said, Michelle!

[jennifer24]

Wow, u are lucky, guess we all need to be truthful about who we are if we are searching...

[suzy1]

I am a bit pessimistic about finding any women that would accept us. Almost as rare as wining the lottery
Then I read this and think I could be wrong [not for the first time]
A nice and encouraging thread Michelle.

Hugs, SUZY

[AKAMichelle]

I am a bit pessimistic about finding any women that would accept us. Almost as rare as wining the lottery
Then I read this and think I could be wrong [not for the first time]
A nice and encouraging thread Michelle.

Hugs, SUZY

Suzy never give up hope. We have a terrific gift with our ability to connect with women. All we must do is let them see behind the curtain. We have the male they want with the softness of a female. We are so scared of letting someone in that we don't let women see the whole picture. If it is only the cd'ing, then ya'll they might run away. But we have so much to offer a woman and they need to know the whole picture.

Nobody should give up hope. I was dating the conservative bible thumping women and they accepted me. These were the Focus on the Family type. The type of women that most people think will never accept you. Most of them wanted or went out with me dressed. These women weren't the liberal woman with knowledge of cd'ing. Sure these women had been exposed to it, but I didn't know it. I never asked any questions to filter them through the system. I just went with what I liked and attractive women. They were told the whole story and that I am very out. In fact I run a meetup group here in Denver. So if the woman isn't willing to go out with Michelle in public then there isn't much chance for the relationship. These women know on the front end that dating Michelle is just as important as dating the male side.

Don't feel defeated. There are lots of women out there that will accept. They want a real man who isn't afraid of being 110% honest with them about their feelings. These women are willing to accept if you give them a reason to accept. So get off the couch and find your SO. :D Valentines day is around the corner and no reason for a cd'er to spend it alone.

[suzy1]

Thank you Michelle. I was thinking about others here, not me.
I am very happy as I am and not looking for anyone myself.

Hugs, SUZY

[Rianna Humble]

Nobody should give up hope.

That's OK, I don't have any to give up

[Charise52]

My last two girl friends were ok with it... they are still dear friends (just walking different paths based on career). I took an herbalist class, amd one woman asked me if I was a crossdresser, and said it would really be cool if I was... another woman in my class dated me and said she was attracted to me because I am a CD... so if you find a woman who is accepting... go for it... keep her... if you have a wife... keep her, and in time she will come to understand...

[Cynthia Anne]

Very nice thread! I'm sure you have lifted the spirits of many singles!

[AKAMichelle]

Very nice thread! I'm sure you have lifted the spirits of many singles!

That was definitely my intention. There is no reason to feel defeated.

[AnnaCalliope]

Almost as rare as wining the lottery

If that were the case, I'd be able to afford HRT, GRS and boob jobs for everyone on here. I've dated about 25 women since I was 16 and came out to 22 of them. Of those, only 4 were completely against dating me from then on, and only 1 outright rejected me. Over half were fully supportive, including hanging out on a regular basis with Anna. There are a lot more open-minded women out there than we like to give credit for.

[5150 Girl]

I have already decided that next time I find myself single and on dating sites, I will put this side of my life in my profile.

[busker]

That was definitely my intention. There is no reason to feel defeated.
Michelle, I'm sure you could life everyone's spirits even higher if you direct your "castaway lady friends" to CD.COM. Perhaps they might find this a good venue to be a part of, if they . re as accepting as you indicate. This might not be a site that they would gravite towards naturally. I ralize it is NOT a dating site, but for their edification.
Best wishes on getting your relationship with your wife restarted.

[Loni]

i have found dating web sites to just be a scam.

glad yours worked out...but the wife might have a problem, keep her in the loop or she could think otherwise.


good luck

.

[AKAMichelle]

Michelle, I'm sure you could life everyone's spirits even higher if you direct your "castaway lady friends" to CD.COM. Perhaps they might find this a good venue to be a part of, if they . re as accepting as you indicate. This might not be a site that they would gravite towards naturally. I ralize it is NOT a dating site, but for their edification.
Best wishes on getting your relationship with your wife restarted.

I don't think that you need my left overs. There are plenty of fish out there just waiting on you.


i have found dating web sites to just be a scam.

glad yours worked out...but the wife might have a problem, keep her in the loop or she could think otherwise.


good luck

.

I am worried that meeting her may cause a problem getting back with my marriage. For that reason I will be giving this a lot of thought. Most likely I will not meet her because of my wife.

[Terrihoney]

You are so right, there are many women seeking a man with a sensitive side. I came out to a long time friend and former girlfriend, she so wants to meet Terri. We must be careful, as she is married and I'm in a very committed relationship. We will meet just as friends. If so many single ladies accept a CD man, why do so many wives freak when they find out?

Hugs, Terri

[AKAMichelle]

You are so right, there are many women seeking a man with a sensitive side. I came out to a long time friend and former girlfriend, she so wants to meet Terri. We must be careful, as she is married and I'm in a very committed relationship. We will meet just as friends. If so many single ladies accept a CD man, why do so many wives freak when they find out?

Hugs, Terri

Because we hid it from them. Every woman that I told was so much happier because I told them so early in the relationship. Waiting adds problems which is what we see as non-acceptance when in actuality it is just dealing the betrayal and loss of trust because we weren't honest. I think the whole solution to our issue is telling them early. Obviously there is no reason to tell one of those terrible dates, but one that seems magical. It is very scary to tell so early, but believe me you get extra brownie points from the ones who accept. Plus you don't waste 6 months with a woman who will never accept. Cut your losses and get on with life.

[BRANDYJ]

Michelle is so right. There are a lot of women that will accept the fact that you are a crossdresser if they are attracted to you as a man. No, not just your looks, but the man or person you are inside. In fact most women are attracted more to what's inside then his outward looks. Perhaps not true for us males. We tend to put more value on looks then women do. Michelle's experience with this woman he dated, reminded me of an experience I had on a dating site . I was broken up with my girlfriend and frankly, I was broken hearted over it, but thought I'd "try" to put her out of my mind via this one dating site. Well one night I was on-line and this woman sends me an instant message via the messenger for that site. I was in no mood to meet or date anyone and figured I'd blow her off real fast after a brief chat. I told her we would not be right for one another since I am into an alternate lifestyle. She asked me what it was and I simply told her that I was a crossdresser. Her response was interesting. She told me that she had a daughter that not only was married at one time and had a son, but later realized her being a lesbian. Not only that, but she does semi pro engagements as a drag king! So my confession was nothing new or strange to her. So as it was, I was about to go out to my favorite karaoke bar to sing and asked her if she wanted to meet for a drink. She accepted and we met at the bar. BTW, I did explain to her that I was not over my last lady and I was not interested in dating, but open to a friendship. Today we are good friends still. In fact I even rented a house from her for over 2 years. My point being, as Michelle said, there are women that are not instantly put off by your being a CD if you come across as a gentleman. Since then I have met and told 3 other women from a dating site that I am a crossdresser. All of them are friends today. I can only remember one I told that not only did not accept, but got nasty about it. I had a good laugh over that one since I was in no way interested in her to begin with.
Another good friend that I met at a dating site is in fact a member here since she had met and accepted a crossdresser, Frankly, she is the reason I came back to this site and joined after forgetting about it a few years ago. She is no longer seeing this guy since he turned out to be a phony and a player, but she is still here learning and sharing with us. I thank her and respect her for not judging all of us due to her first experience with a crossdresser that turned out bad. I know there are a few other GG's that are no longer involved with a cd, but remain here because of friendships made and still wanting to show support and learn from others.
I do not recommend you tell all in your profile, but if you make contact and then meet her and then date her and you can see a mutual attraction, by all means tell her. If she was interested in you as a gentleman, and have established a friendship and feel trust and respect for her, she very well may not be as turned off as we ourselves imagine women will be. I think most women are more open to accepting any alternate lifestyle then men are.
So to all of you that want to meet, date and hopefully find that one special woman that will love you, accept you and become the woman of your dreams, I like Michelle offer this proof that it is more then possible and you should not give up or think it's impossible.
BTW, I am still with the one I was broke up with for that short period of time and our relationship could not be stronger or better then it is today. I am still very much in love with her and her love for me has grown in equal proportions. And no, our short breakup had absolutely nothign to do with my dressing.

Michelle, thanks for sharing. I do wish you and your wife the very best as always.

[Evie08]

Three things women want.
1. Someone who is truthful. Sharing something this personal with them builds trust.
2. Someone who will go shopping with them and appreciates fashion.
3. Someone who understands you can't wear the same outfit twice to similar functions.

[IMkrystal]

That was definitely my intention. There is no reason to feel defeated.

Thanks for this! Yesterday was my birthday and I have been "hoping" for a long time. Online dating has not worked because I keep rejecting contact with women that are interesting because of the fear of being rejected. In reality women are no different from men in wanting to feel accepted. The insight this thread has given, is helpful in understanding, I must take chances and not give up

[PretzelGirl]

Michelle, I'm sure you could life everyone's spirits even higher if you direct your "castaway lady friends" to CD.COM.

I think the point made here isn't that these are woman looking for crossdressers but woman who because of the relationship that was started and the truthfulness that was given, were willing to accept this side of Michelle because it is another part of a wonderful person. So in that context, I think that there are a lot of accepting women out there.

[AKAMichelle]

Thanks for this! Yesterday was my birthday and I have been "hoping" for a long time. Online dating has not worked because I keep rejecting contact with women that are interesting because of the fear of being rejected. In reality women are no different from men in wanting to feel accepted. The insight this thread has given, is helpful in understanding, I must take chances and not give up

Women will accept if you give them a reason to accept you. If you are a creep, they won't waste their time. But if you come across as the real deal and somebody who they can trust and admire then cd'ing becomes a small issue. Every woman I talked to said that they appreciated that I told them very early in the relationship. They would have been upset with me if I had waited. I feel like there is a window of time where we must tell the woman and that flucuates with the couple.

I don't think any of us should feel sorry for themselves and pull away from dating. Take a chance. If you never risk anything then you never win either.

[Daenna Paz]

Take a chance. If you never risk anything then you never win either.

This is so very true!! :D

[Rianna Humble]

Someone who understands you can't wear the same outfit twice to similar functions.

. :yt: . :iagree:

My only question is why is this number 3?

[Katie in Canada]

Thank you.

You answered several questions that have rotated in my mind for a long time about when one is single, a committed Cd and giving thought to trying meet sites such as E-Harmony.

[annie.hawkins428]

wow that would be hard

[cordgrass]

I am worried that meeting her may cause a problem getting back with my marriage. For that reason I will be giving this a lot of thought. Most likely I will not meet her because of my wife.

:facepalm: "Most likely"? Oy.

And yes, I firmly believe that there are many women out there who would be accepting, as long as it's told at the right time, particularly younger women. Also as it becomes more mainstream, it's a more familiar thing for women, so kudos to those of you who don't pass who are out and about.

[kimdl93]

I'd concur - not a good idea to follow up on this phone call. You have your hands full getting on track with your marriage. But, the larger point is well taken. Your experience reinforce the fact that women can accept cross dressing partners. In my life, I've been married not once but twice to women who accepted me and my cross dressing.