wow - this was unexpected

[James Kaon]

As someone relatively new to this site, some of you may or may not know my background but I would tentatively describe myself as someone who has a fetish for panties stockings and tights (still wondering whether a full slip is something i wanna try, which I think im leaning towards).

This was a recent discovery and I am currently single. But last week, I met through a friend after playing football, a girl. I was attracted to her straight away and for some reason was in confident mood and in front of everyone just asked her out. So she said yes and my friend who introduced us encouraged the whole thing :) COOL!

So we went out last night, had great time, got a lil drunk and despite my pad looking a bit messy (and some hasty hiding of some panties hanging about) took her back to mine. We were supposed to just sleep and cuddle but obviously more happened.

Ok so its only first meeting and I guess I should not look to much into it, but I was walking her to train station and we passed some lingerie shops, and she noticed them and said 'mmm they look nice'. I said 'I love girls in lingerie' whilst thinking, and i love wearing it myself, but she replied, 'you may love girls in lingerie, but we love to wear!'

Must admit, I was buzzing a little from this and almost blurted it out (the truth) but i didnt. We only just met and I would be terrified how she would take it - I guess because we dont know each other I wouldnt mind if it was negative - but she knows someone I know and it would spread my secret like wildfire. Bang goes career, (very presumptious of me I know) and therefore family find out etc etc. At what point do you think something shouyld be revealed to someone you start seeing - I dont know if this current thing may go anywhere, but I guess I had not considered what would happen if I did begin to develop feelings - would not wanna lie but would still hate to be exposed. Although I do not think I am a freak, or any of you for that matter, I think Im really nervous of how society sees us...

I hope I explained that well enough but anyway...

Jx

[Annie D]

Don't read too much into her comment. Take it slow. Remember that your friend introduced the two of you and if she knows all about you, she may share it with your friend, then another and another. Make sure that you know her well enough for her to keep your secret. Yes, pursue her and have a good time. Good luck!

[Debra Russell]

Sounds like a really neat hook-up if there is a next time let her see you sporting a nice pair of lacy undies -- who knows?

[James Kaon]

My God Debra you are way too bold!!!!

I dont think I could, I would be too worried she would freak! And then tell my friends! AND WALLOP!!!!!

LOL I must admit tho, I wish I had the guts to do that :)

[linnea]

I agree with those who say, "take it slow." It's all sounds very exciting, and it probably is very exciting, But give it a little time and a chance to get to know her better.
Her comment about lingerie could easily be a hint that she would like you to buy her some and see her in them.
Best wishes.

[Being Paige]

Ok, slow down a bit. You just met and spent the night together. I would ask her out again and go on a few dates first, take it slow and see where this goes (get to know each other) before you pour out your soul to her.

[James Kaon]

Thx - yes, I know this is just first meet - but I saw a GG post recently that said they would want to know b4 things got into the bedroom. Well too late for that! But I hear you (and Annie, but Debra is way to out there for me (mean that in a good way!)) and I would want her to know me much deeper before revealing my own fantasies/fetish. But is this wrong? She probably has one very specific expectation that ultimately I would change. Is it fair to hold that back (and because I am coward I do not go anywhere with anyone?????) or do u think that after lust, hearts should be met before?

[Lex321]

My wife used to joke about me wearing girls clothes when we were dating. 3 years later I told her I liked that idea and have been cross dressing since i was 8. her first reaction, she asked if I was gay, which I am not. Now she is very accepting and I even dress in front of her from time to time.

Long story short, I would recommend waiting to tell her till she is in love with you and you trust her. Otherwise I bet it has a real good chance of everyone finding out.

[Ann Smith]

I am 15 months into a marital separation that was caused by multiple issues, and if I had to make an estimate I'd say my CD status accounted for about 40 percent of it. Now I am living 150 miles away and getting on with life, having been through huge pain, still going through a little of it, but also meeting new women and forming friendships. That level is where I find I have to keep it... friendship. I refuse to let things get far enough that I would then be responsible for disclosing the facts about my crossdressing. If there is one who might think it's okay I guess I will never know, because they're not going to get the chance. The odds are so overwhelming that they will find it offensive and pathetic that I don't want to put them, or me, through that. I did it once, with my ex, and that's plenty for one lifetime. Life has lots to offer outside an intimate relationship with a female, is how I see it, and I'm really fine with that.

[James Kaon]

Damnit Lex, probably the answer I thought already and the one that I had mixed feelings of... I sorta want to explore what I am/do with someone while at the same time genuinely feeling guilty of hiding something. But I do have too much to lose unless it becomes as you say, love. So thx for advice everyone :)

[Cynthia Anne]

I think your reasons for not letting her know are justified except being a coward! That one is no good! I think I would wait a while and see how things develop, maybe throw a couple of hints after the third or fourth date and see how she reacts. Best of luck to you and I hope you have found true happiness!

[KellyCD]

I think your reasons for not letting her know are justified except being a coward!

Coward? I'm sorry but I just don't agree with that. Not everyone can just prance around telling everyone they meet everything about them including all their secrets and not expect repercussions. I don't think he was being a coward, I think he's being cautious. Which is wise to do in this day and age.

[MsJanessa]

Thx - yes, I know this is just first meet - but I saw a GG post recently that said they would want to know b4 things got into the bedroom. Well too late for that! But I hear you (and Annie, but Debra is way to out there for me (mean that in a good way!)) and I would want her to know me much deeper before revealing my own fantasies/fetish. But is this wrong? She probably has one very specific expectation that ultimately I would change. Is it fair to hold that back (and because I am coward I do not go anywhere with anyone?????) or do u think that after lust, hearts should be met before?
you obviously feel the relationship is going somewhere---now may the best time to tell her so you can both make an intelligent decision about your future

[DonnaT]

What's love got to do with it?

Wives who've loved have been known to turn on their husbands.

Don't wait for her to fall in love with you, she could respond like some SOs, and feel trapped, etc.

If you have a couple of more dates, then it's time to tell her.
I like the way things have been going, but before we get too serious, I need to tell you something more personal.

[Mary Lee]

Maybe she will buy you a pair of panties to ware, maybe even a bra.

[James Kaon]

You could be right Donna - but would feel like I need to at least trust her. May take more than a couple of dates but I get what you mean about leaving it too long!

LOL Mary Lee - panties would be cool but I have not tried a bra!

Thx for answers everyone!

J

[deebra]

Don't tell her, she could be turned off,and tell your friend you're some-kind-of -weirdo, how's this for a safer approach. Buy some colorful or shear mens nylon bikinni panties and of course they will catch her eye the next time you both walk in the bedroom. She'll say something about them, tell her you love the feel of wearing nylon and the bikinni cut is a very sexy turnon. Tell her you even love the look and feel of womens bikinni panties and thongs, (thats not saying you want to wear them). If she likes the idea she might say well since we both like sexy undies then lets go shopping for some, if she goes silent then you'll know it's not her thing. If she goes silent then let her go, your desire to cd will never go away, so find another that can accept and enjoy this with you.

[James Kaon]

OK now im freaking out!!

We went out on a date last night and some of the things she said just made me think how open minded she is. So i thought f**k it I will tell her. So I did. I told her it was very private and not to go further with it elsewhere but, I told her. She was super cool. She laughed a bit but then said she was turned on - not because it turns her on, but because she knows it turns me on. So we went back to mine and well, she challenged me to get the most racey thing on which was some suspenders and stockings. She even helped clip them on!!!! We then had some fun b4 going to sleep and she has just left as she needed to back at hers really early.

Even though she seemed so cool and promised she wouldnt, I still feel paranoid she will tell my friend, but i guess sometimes you just have to go with a risk. It wasnt what I intended last night - in fact I thought i would wait for a few more dates but, just I didnt like sleeping with her and not being totally honest.

Hopefully the next time I post will be that all is still cool and that we can explore a little more together. Must admit, being the first girl to say anything or even show interest in what I like has made me even fonder of her - natural I guess, but I think this is either really lucky or Im about to find out the hard way that luck has nothing to do with it!!!!


jx

[Stephanie47]

Buy the full slip. I recommend buying on eBay. Your can find very reasonable full slips up to size 46. Many of the sellers realize a good percentage of sales are from cross-dressers and indicate discreet packaging. Most sellers indicate the length from under arm to the hem. You can figure out where the slip will hit you-above knee, mid calf, ankle/gown length. There is usually go assortment of colors available. I think when you decide to get a slip go with a longer slip. It will fit and feel more like a slinky nightgown. After that you'll probably want to buy a lacy bra and panty set to match the slip's color.

For the life of me I cannot figure out why young women don't package themselves in sexy slips??

[DonnaT]

Don't freak out. And don't push the issue.

Don't keep on about keeping it secret. She'll just get annoyed and think you don't trust her.

Relax, and be cool.

[James Kaon]

Thats a really good point Donna - I think I am being a bit of a child recently as just discovered all this... So yes, gonna learn to relax and chill about it all and see what happens - thx for the good advice!

J

[SusanQ]

If you are planning on a long term relationship, tell her upfront. Don't let her learn about it the first time she watches you undress. If You start a relationship without her knowing your secret, she's quite likely to be very upset when it is ultimately made known to her. If you just want to test the waters, see if she has any store catalogues or women's magazines in her house...and start leafing through them seeing what comments she makes about the clothes...and if she picks up subtle comments that you make.

When girls are little they love playing dressup...maybe you'll be fortunate and she still likes playing dressup and will offer to play the game with you.

[Kristina]

i'm only 18 and have told 2 people. one a year ago and one 6 or so days ago. the fear of not being accepted or of them letting my secret out was awful. but i trust them. They are my friends. I would get to know this person more then tell her when you both trust each other.

[James Kaon]

Well, just thought I would update a bit on whats happened (sry if this gets boring!)

I'm still seeing this girl (nothing serious right now) and I kind of backed off from going on about keeping it secret as some of you advised I should - thx! So far, she is very open to it. Like I said before she has not really said she likes it, but does not dislike it either - rather she says I should explore who I am to whatever extent I want and is very cool if I do!

For no reason other than how I felt at the time, I have not dressed with her recently (ok 1 pair of panties one night) and thats totally cool. I think she is just very open minded (well, you could argue she is how open minded everyone should be!) but just by this lucky meeting and slightly drunken admittance, I have a lot more faith in people and less guilt. I guess guilt was always associated with what I expected others to feel about me and not what I really felt about it...

Anyway, there are girls (I mean GGs? I am not up with acronyms yet) out there who really are comfortable with CDers - even if they have never met one before which is very encouraging!

Thx again for your advice!

Jx