What made You who you are ?

[Jo-Anne]

You may be trans,Cd,Ts.or a tranz man, So many descriptions for a complicated way of being: but what made you who you are ? Was it something that occurred in the womb? Did you have a dominating Mom and a weak Father figure? What was it,that made femininity such an important part of who you are (mtf) ? Genetics vs environment ? OR maybe the gift of a female Soul ? I believe it was the latter for me..I would like to hear from you !

[Marie-Elise]

I think I am one of the few who can say he has been dressing in female clothing since he was born. My mother wanted a girl and expected that she would have one. So she went out and bought all girl baby clothes. Then I came along.

I add to that: a father who didn't much care to teach me the ways of men and an extended family of strong women. I guess I just had strong female role models.

I did, however, manage to turn our hetero and taught myself the ways of men.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm just guessing, but either:

my prostate meds, old age/hormonal changes, or, last but not least, FATE!?

[brassieres]

I am guessing a strong identifying with my mother, and lack of a real father figure in my life.

[Joanne f]

I was born with the ability of understanding and i use that to understand most things i hope , or at least try to .

[luludoll]

hmm I would say ever since 5 when I first put on my mom's bras, that's as far back as I remember. I was raised by my mom (since my dad's work took him allover, have an older sister & at that time my mom owned a salon run by male cds. After school hours were spent at the salon so our babysitters were cds. And I have a 1st cousin who's a post-op femme now I think & is pretty open about it.

So this was bound to happen. I've always been pretty closeted even though I got caught by my sister who always ratted me it out to my parents tons of times. Funny thing I was dating girls left & right during high school, none of them knew I had this fetish, I really didn't enjoy being in a relationship even if some of them eventually became models & a miss world candidate.

So growing up wearing women's undies was just a fetish to satisfy my...ahem ego. It wasn't till a year ago that it became part of my lifestyle/persona, even getting into a semi-serious relationship w/ a guy who I never told the truth about who I really am & when he got serious with the relationship I panicked & pulled a disappearing act without explaining anything...

xoxo
lulu~

[suzy1]

I haven’t a clue. And that’s a serious reply.

SUZY

[SusanMarie]

Got me???
Grew up in an ordinary 'Ozzie & Harriet' life. Though I always thought Mom 'n Sis had the cool clothes and I preferred 'co-ed' activities. Nature...nurture...just me.

[Karren H]

Two words... Alien abduction!! I don't know who got abducted but I'll bet aliens were involved... Aka "who the hell knows".

[Rianna Humble]

The terms you cited are not just different facets of the same thing. Trans in the sense of transgender will encompass the others and "trans-man" is a subset of TS as is "trans-woman". It is my belief that whilst we are part of the same big transgender family, there is a difference between cross-dressers who are happy to remain mainly with their birth-gender role and transsexuals. The latter mostly have known for a long time that they have a birth defect which is that we have the wrong body.

There is a train of thought (on which I ride) that suggests that your inner sense of gender is fixed inside the womb. For cisgendered folks the brain gender and the body gender match. For TS folks, the brain is one gender and the body the other.

I cannot define soul, so I don't know if I have one. If I do, then it should surely be the same as my inner sense of gender (aka brain gender).

To your other questions:

Dominating mother? NO

Weak father? NO

What made my inner gender such an important part of who I am? It is the only image of myself that I posess. I tried to live out the image that others insisted on expecting of me, but it didn't work. I never felt right as a man - even when I fell in love, I could not follow through with marriage because I could not envisage myself in the role of a husband. To my simplistic way of thinking, it was inconceivable that I as a woman (albeit looking like a man) could be the husband of a heterosexual wife.

Genetics? Almost certainly. There has been a study which suggests that physically a trans-woman's brain more closely resembles a cis-woman's brain than a cis-man's brain, although I cannot remember where that was published. I believe that the same study found a similar correlation between trans-men and cis-men.

Environment? Definitely not in my case. If environment could have had a say, then the years of trying to live as the man I never was would have made me cis-gendered.

But I think that what finally made me who I am today was learning to accept myself.

[Ash Leland]

The variety of ways in which people explain who they are is fascinating, and I've never known anyone who deals with it with much balance. I know many people who trace their character traits back to a certain parent- they usually ascribe good traits to one and bad traits to another. Some people talk about a religious or ethnic identity as if it has some independant existence, outside of themselves, and moves them according to it's whims. Some people will use a certain event in their life to explain who they are, even if it's in the distant past and a lot has happened since. I'm sure the circumstances of all these people has given a certain amount of legitimacy to whatever they claim, but it never seems to be pure cause-and-effect. I said that the people I know who have a definite explanation of how they got to be who they are don't deal with it with much balance- it seems to be equal parts external cause and personal aspiration, and no one I know has clearly explained to me the the proportions in which both make up their self image...but people seem to give more creedence to the external causes.

There are no doubt some things that can happen to you that can deeply shape your identity, but I've never known anyone who ever claimed that they shaped most of themselves...I guess that would beg the question where did the desire to shape yourself come from, and then lead us back to the external cause, unless you just say the desire is completely organic and original.

Personally, my life has been a story of unravelling identities, one after another. What brought a lot of things together for me was exploring relgion- for awhile I was open to the possiblity of finding authentic spiritual truth, but nearly every religion that I can think of relies on an element of personal revelation- you need to have personal knowledge of the existence of God (or whatever the defining belief may be). A Christian and an athiest may agree that it's good to be altruistic and such, but even if they agree on every moral issue, they are not the same. The Christian knows personally that God exists and that Jesus is his son. To the best of my knowledge, these are the only two ways in which someone can become religious- personal revelation or familial inheritence. The existence of a spiritual dimension to the world cannot be externally demonstrated, so it is solely a question of believing something for entirely private reasons. This bares a stark similarity to how ethnicity works- you inherit it or marry into it, you cannot acquire an ethnicity through educaiton \ personal growth. And the propogation of both religion and ethnicity relate to family life- family is the most accessable way to gain either a religion or an ethnicity, and both are examples of some of the strongest, most persistent forms of identity.

The most persistent forms of identity are asserted for entirely private reasons and are not usually based on externally observable things. Gender also seems involved in the realm of familial education \ inheritence, but not quite. Your family can teach you how to be a certain gender, but what about people like me who have a completely innate interest in gender bending? I can remember cross dressing as a child, both on my own initiative and when my female friends wanted to put me in a dress. Up until I was nine I would always take the girl's bathroom pass in school, I was told not to and I cared enough to keep doing it anyway. I don't remember why exactly I did these things, only that I wanted to very badly and no one taught me to do them. I eventually lost touch with both an ethnic identity and a spiritual one for empirical reasons that are intellegible to others, but the blurring of my gender identity seems to be entirely self-prompted.

What's funny is that C.S. Lewis wrote that God's law is persistent and original- every human being knows it intuitively, and it does not need to be taught. If no one taught me to dress as a woman (and, to a certain degree, identify as one), could this also be divinely inspired? Food for thought :P

So: long story short, for me it's a combination of past experiences and seemingly innate desires. I have no explanation other than what I do and feel.

[Debutante]

I pretty much know that it was a harsh, cold, emotionally abusive father, and a depressed, distant,
Adult Child of an Alcoholic mother, that helped form my life the the CD issues for me (among several other
very central dysfuntions).
The urges and repsonsiveness to transgender imagery and interest in crossdressing, or
gender identity with women, was felt when I was 5...

[Steph.TS]

I cannot say for sure why I am the way I am, is it because I was born this way, is it because I've generally had a weak relationship with my father, while feeling like my mom was the only one that understood me? is there another influence I'm not aware of?

all I know is all of my life I've tried to fit in, but I want to transition, and I know that'll mean I won't fit in (at least during transition) so this means alot to me to make this move. I hope I'll be ready to do it someday...

[Amy Lynn3]

I know about all the reasons that cause a person to be TS, but I really don't know why I love to wear female cloths, but I do.

[LitaKelley]

I can't really say something in particular made me who I am, other than a combination of experiences and influences have shaped me in some manner.

[suchacutie]

I really look at this as a biological issue. After all, I never dressed for my first 55 years and never considered myself in any way feminine. Yet, looking back on it, it's clear that I am in many ways hard-wired to look at issues from a feminine perspective, something I wish I had understood years ago.

Everything about my personal life would probably bore psychologists as normal, normal, and normal. Yet, it's clear I've had a foot in both genders and not that I realize it, there's no going back.

It wasn't learned, it's always been there.

tina

[gwenbeth]

I don't know what was the catalyst for it was, but I do know that a lot has gone into making my female side what it is. A lot of self esteem, emotional, body image, depression and other issues all went into making me who I am.

[Nick2Nikki]

I think that it was mostly genetics for me. I've long been curious about the idea of dressing as a woman, without have any real reason to. Plus I'm of the belief that genetics controls a lot more of our lives than we are allowed to admit to ourselves.

[Maxi]

I have been the man of the house since age 2. When I went through my divorce, at age 42, was when I started experimenting with cross dressing. It started with a half slip.

[erica12b]

i wish i had something (or one) to blame, not that it would change anything lol , and yes i have a fem soul, but i like my guy parts, i had a overdom mom and a silent dad, i like the fem choises , and hate closet, but we half to play the cards we are dealt

[Michaela42]

Lets see,
My Mother is a very demanding and strong willed woman, but
My Father is also a very demanding and strong willed man. They sort of cancel each other out as far as 'traditional' roles go.

My extended family is much the same way as there dose not seem to be one gender dominating the other.

I am who I am and that is the way it will be, I guess.

[Cynthia Anne]

Well I got an idea that I was born this way or because my older sister wanted a sister and started dressing me up when I was four years old or maybe that something was in the breast milk! Sorry I DON'T REMEMBER

[sissystephanie]

This is not a slam at Transexuals or anyone else. It is simply a statement of fact!! It is not just my own opinion, because it is based on medical facts that can be read if a person so desires!

Each one of us is who we are!! There are many things that you can say had a role in helping make that decision. But the"role' of who we are is decided by the person who is being asked! It is not decided in the womb, or by other family members! It is decided by a logical, thinking person, who may of any age that is old enough to comprehend!!

I started wearing girl panties at age 6 or 7! Was I a crossdresser/ By definition yes I was, but I was too young to know it. When I was a few years older and still liking to wear panties, I knew that I was a crossdresser and have been one almost ever since!

Being a crossdresser, or any other person who crosses gender boundaries, is a state of mind!! It is not, in any sense, a physical thing! When you are born, your body has certain physical characteristics which denote your sex. Unless you have the sex organs of both sexes, you are either male or female. Only surgery, and some medicine, can change that! Nothing else can. If you don't think that is true, then you don't believe your own mind!!

[AlisonRenee]

I can't point at some defining presence or lack thereof, event, "fault" or other "reason" for me being me other than that I'm wired this way. When I was four I wanted to be a girl and that's never stopped. I've always had feminine traits, been more drawn to girls' activities as a kid, never was the typical boy. As an adult I've had considerable opportunity to use that softer side in positive ways - as a single parent, the Mom role fit me as well as Dad.

If there was/is some external influence, the only theory I've seen that kinda fits is that I was exposed to DES in utero and there's apparently a higher percentage of GID among male DES kids. DES is synthetic estrogen, was used to help prevent miscarriage. The theory is that the higher estrogen levels affect brain development in the male fetus... presto, my toenails are in pink polish today.

[Tanya C]

Personally, I believe that the gift of a feminine soul is a genetic predisposition as is our gender identity in general. Environmental factors surely play a roll in determining when we become aware of our transgender identity, just as they play a roll by influencing the way we act on it.
But in my opinion we were born this way, notwithstanding the exceptions, of course.

[Jennifer Freeman]

The question was, "What made You who you are?:heehee:
My reply, "I did!":brolleyes:
Jennifer Freeman:devil:

[Eryn]

I'd say it's genetic. Without that Y-chromosome I probably wouldn't need to be a CDer.

Beyond that, who knows?

[Rianna Humble]

Being a crossdresser, or any other person who crosses gender boundaries, is a state of mind!! It is not, in any sense, a physical thing! When you are born, your body has certain physical characteristics which denote your sex. Unless you have the sex organs of both sexes, you are either male or female.

To a very limited extent you are right that it is a state of mind - it comes from having the brain of a woman in the body of a man. Where you are wrong is in saying that having a physically female brain is not in any sense physical.

[Kate Simmons]

Our personal grid program which is set by our DNA determines who we will be.:)

[GingerLeigh]

Genetics. My very young son has the same penchant for rubbing pantyhose as I did at his age. No, it's not a "feeling thing" as so many others dismiss it as. He likes specific colours. Will he grow into CDing? Not certain yet, but there are other indications he has displayed that I relate to.

ginger

[Loni]

i have no clue as to the how, what, when where, or why.

i have loved womens clothing for as long as i can remember, as a little kid i loved to go shopping with my mom, and aunts.
but i was number one with a bang for my grandpa, as i was his first grandson. so i just got that special place in his life, even tho i never did understand as a kid the why of it. raised in part by my grand parents and they were very hard core bible thumpers (said with respect).

so is there even a answer, or a reason for one??

i tend to believe love and respect is far more important then the draping one has on.

.

[joan658]

I think it was something called DNA ... :-)

[BRANDYJ]

DNA might be correct for those that identify as transsexuals. I'm not so sure it applies to those of us that are crossdressers with no desire to transition. I believe it is conditioning from perhaps a very early age for most of us. Here are the things that I think "conditioned" me to become a crossdresser.
1. my kindergarten teacher's hose, garter tabs, lacy slip that I saw and touched while under her desk.
age 4.

2. seeing a teen boy walking down the street with his shirt unbuttoned and his bra showing clearly.
age 10-11

3. Seeing a picture of what looked like several naked women sitting on a blanket at the beach with well formed breasts and down below they had male parts. Also at age 10-11

4. Finding my mother's full nylon white slip hanging on a hook in the bathroom that for whatever reason I touched myself with and had my first ever orgasm.
Age 11.

5. Finding a box with female clothes stored in an empty apartment above our garage that for some reason I tried them on and became very sexually excited. Did that several times, not knowing how many times or what drew me to do it and feeling very weird, alone and scared each time I put the clothes on. Always ending with an orgasm and removing the clothes as fast as I could.

6. What I think was a very high, maybe unusual attraction to women and girls and their clothes, makeup and curves that males lacked.

7. Maybe having lost my dad due to an accident at age 10 had something to do with it. thus having only my mother to look up to and be raised by (2 older brothers, but not male role models in any way)

8. Having much love and respect for my mother and the things she taught me at an early age. (she died when I was only 16) I also remember a few other adult women that I strongly admired both physically and emotionally.

9. Having learned early to always respect all girls and women. Chivalry was taught to me at a very early age.

To sum it up, all these things had to have played a role in my being a life long crossdresser; Even long before I knew there was others that do it or that there was even a name for it.

[LilSissyStevie]

Cthulhu commands me.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

[BillieJoEllen]

Growing up I had a lot of feminine reinforcement. I always felt like I was a girl and I don't believe that part came from anyone but me. My father tried to 'macho' me to death but I somehow was able to reject or ignore all that. I could've rejected CDing completely but being the experimenter that I was I hit the combo in CDing that absolutely hooked me for good.
All the things that led to my CDing are kind of difficult for me to wrap my head around. On the one hand I'd like to understand it all but then again do I really, really care?

[raymondparsley56]

I don't think I really care why. It's right for me and that's all that matters. Right? I'm me when I dress and I'm happy when I dress. The reason (why) may be too much to deal with. I don't need to go that deep.

[Kathi Lake]

I see people trying to explain away their feelings; chemicals in the womb, childhood struggles, domineering mother, etc. as making excuses for their behavior/sexual preference/perceived gender. "It's not my fault! Something else made me do it!" You know what? I don't need an excuse for the way I am. Did I have a hard life? Yes. However, I love who I am and what I do. Therefore, I can't look back on that life - and everything that made me who and what I am - harshly. What made me who I am? I did, and I'm damn proud of it!

:)

Kathi

[BRANDYJ]

God post Kathi. I agree completely. But as for me, I am not making excuses at all. I have no problem accepting me as I am and would not want to change a thing about who I am today.
As I look back on my past, there are some things I wish were different or that I would have done differently. Hard times? Sure, I have had my share. But I agree it all is what makes me the person I am today. I think I am a better person for all the things I have experienced in my life...both good and bad.

[Melinda Lou]

I don't know if I can say it made me who I am, but my mother and her sister having dressed me in my cousin's clothes (most memorably, to my impressionable young mind, her panties) certainly opened my mind to the possibilities. Like most of us, I had been taught that girls were different and that boys just didn't do certain things, but after that, I knew that girl clothes could fit a boy, and I couldn't see why I couldn't wear them.

I have been thinking back on my childhood recently, and have come to realize: The girls around me in my age group knew, the whole time, even at 7 or 8, even if they never saw me in a dress. I was always the only boy invited to the girls' birthday parties, girls were always inviting me to come over and play, a few even asked if they could dress me in their clothes. They knew I was different, in that way girls just know. I wonder how many of them would be surprised.

[Stephanie47]

Why doesn't come into play anymore. I am what I am! I am more than a cross-dresser. I am a package deal, except sometimes the wrapping paper is pink!

[Rianna Humble]

I see people trying to explain away their feelings; chemicals in the womb, childhood struggles, domineering mother, etc. as making excuses for their behavior/sexual preference/perceived gender. "It's not my fault! Something else made me do it!" You know what? I don't need an excuse for the way I am. Did I have a hard life? Yes. However, I love who I am and what I do. Therefore, I can't look back on that life - and everything that made me who and what I am - harshly. What made me who I am? I did, and I'm damn proud of it!i

Did you choose to make yourself white American as well? If so, good for you, how did you go about choosing what the natural colour of your skin would be?

Those of us who are transsexual have as much influence over our inner gender as you have over the natural colour of your skin. We don't need your condescension telling us that we are making excuses for our "perceived gender".

It is bad enough facing intolerance from the majority of people who are merely ignorant of the facts without having members of this community putting us down as well.

You are right that we do have to choose what we do about our birth defect and I will acknowledge that a small number of people manage to live their whole lives without the defect driving them to the edge of suicide. My choice was to live and therefore to correct the birth defect, but it was a close call and for a long time looked like going the other way. I dare say that you would have been even more patronising about that choice.

[Tina B.]

I agree with Stephanie, but sometimes the wrapping is Lavender. I'm not so sure we all have a choice, Is picking between depression, and thoughts of suicide, and finding true contentment, really a choice? Being one of the members here that feels driven to dress, I always am surprised my those that do it just because they like to. I don't mean to offend anyone but if I had a choice I would have been all man, or all woman, either would have been fine with me, but I fell somewhere in betwen. In sixty years I have come to accept that as a fact, it's just how I feel inside. But if I could have been one or the other, I know I would have had a very different life. There is just somethings that you want to do in life that this gets in the way of. When you have skeletons in the closet, you have to guard the door. Now what I believe is a choice, is how you learn to live with being Transgendered, but the being trans, is not a choice for me, it's a fact.
Tina B.

[Kathi Lake]

Rianna, are you making excuses for who and how you are? Then the post wasn't about you! I wasn't trying to insult or malign you, so calm down. All I'm saying is to stop blaming outside things for making us who we are and own them.

Kathi

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Life experiences and a portal known as my mirror through which I travel to my parallel universe.

[deebra]

We were born that way just like gays and lesbians. At 3 or 4 years old I tried on my little playmates girl shoes and at that early age it was such an exciting/exzilerating feeling that I didn't want togive her shoes back. At 11 or 12 it returned when I would play with a small blanket wrapped around me, like a skirt. And yes that sexual exciting feeling was there. We're just blessed with the desires of both male and female, the rest of the population are limited to just one. Now, isn't two better than one, it feels so good I don't want to change. What would be even better is to be very attractive dressed as either male or female.

[Rianna Humble]

Rianna, are you making excuses for who and how you are? Then the post wasn't about you! I wasn't trying to insult or malign you, so calm down. All I'm saying is to stop blaming outside things for making us who we are and own them.

Kathi

I do make reference to what happened in the womb as part of the explanation for who I am. The text I quoted specifically cited that as making excuses for ... "perceived gender".

Whether or not you were targetting me personally, your words encompassed me and were unwelcome

[Jay Cee]

There could be a lot of factors that led to my TG state of affairs. On the "nature" side, it could be genetic (two close blood relatives are either bisexual or gay). On the "nuture" side, I didn't have much in the way of male role models (except my grandfather, who didn't live anywhere near long enough) when I was a young 'un.

I don't sweat it too much - I am who I am, and I am coming to terms with it.

[Kathi Lake]

Whether or not you were targetting me personally, your words encompassed me and were unwelcomeNo, I certainly wasn't as I hadn't read your reply fully, so I didn't see the magic phrase, 'perceived gender' in your post. Sorry (again) if you were offended. Maybe I'm just sick of the whole legal system over here where a rapist claims innocence because he was abused as a child or something like that. Whatever happened to personal responsibility? I believe that we are who we are. No one made us this way. Stop making excuses. Why does our behavior need an excuse anyway? Why do we keep looking for answers externally?

Kathi

[ninapuella]

For me I think it is about cromosomes. I would be surprised if it wasnt.

[sissystephanie]

Kathi is absolutely right. We are who we are only because of who we are!! No external, or internal in the womb, stuff made us crossdressers! We did, because we put on the feminine clothes!! There is no other reason!

And Rianna, this is not a slam at you but you do post a lot of so-called reasons why you did a transition!! You did it and I am proud of you for doing it! I have never seen any evidence, from medical people, that any man was born with a female brain. That is probably because the brain does not have any sexual connotation. It is physical, but neither male or female. The way we, as individuals, think is what makes it more of one than the other! And when you are born you do not have that power to think in a way that will accomplish anything. You have to be older!! So once again it is US, the individual who detirmines who and what we are!! Nothing else does, unless the person has SRS surgery!! And that is the persons choice!!

[Nikki A.]

Mabeline and Revlon.
Honestly I'm not sure why. Strong females in the family, and a step father who whilenot a bad guy was a bit hands off.

[Joanna Maguire]

I know my mother would have prefered to have had a girl child. She did dress me as a girl many times from when I was 7 yrs old. Hated it at first. But I soon began to enjoy being like a girl. I had long curly hair. She took me out in public. I was never recognise by other I am sure. I really looked the part in those days. I myself when I left home and strated work started buying me own feminine clothing. My mother was a dominant woman I was under her control.
My father was also dominated by her. In my younger days She kept me isolated fom both other boys and girls. I had no friends. So I fely femine and like it a lot.

[Rianna Humble]

Rianna, this is not a slam at you but you do post a lot of so-called reasons why you did a transition!! You did it and I am proud of you for doing it! I have never seen any evidence, from medical people, that any man was born with a female brain.

I post the same reason each time. The evidence is out there from the scientific study of brains from cis men, cis women, trans men and trans women. There are physical characteristics that differ between a man's brain and a woman's brain. In the study, trans people had brains that more closely resembled the "opposite" gender to their anatomical sex.

[brassieres]

I know my mother would have prefered to have had a girl child

My mom wanted always wanted girls too!

[busker]

You may be trans,Cd,Ts.or a tranz man, So many descriptions for a complicated way of being: but what made you who you are ? Was it something that occurred in the womb? Did you have a dominating Mom and a weak Father figure? What was it,that made femininity such an important part of who you are (mtf) ? Genetics vs environment ? OR maybe the gift of a female Soul ? I believe it was the latter for me..I would like to hear from you !
http://shb-info.org/hbs.html
quoted from the above link

Over 60 years of medical research regarding Transsexualism (modern HBS) specify that there is NO evidence whatsoever that any psychological or environmental factors cause Transsexualism-HBS. All of the medical research done to date indicates conclusively that physiological (neurological, genetic) factors are the sole cause of Transsexualism-HBS.
Here is the summary of a long descriptive article of the sexual differentiation of the human brain
quote
Summary

During the intrauterine period the fetal brain develops in the male direction through a direct action of testosterone on the developing nerve cells, or in the female direction through the absence of this hormone surge. In this way, our gender identity (the conviction of belonging to the male or female gender) and sexual orientation are programmed into our brain structures when we are still in the womb. However, since sexual differentiation of the genitals takes place in the first two months of pregnancy and sexual differentiation of the brain starts in the second half of pregnancy, these two processes can be influenced independently, which may result in transsexualism. This also means that in the event of ambiguous sex at birth, the degree of masculinization of the genitals may not reflect the degree of masculinization of the brain.

There is no proof that social environment after birth has an effect on gender identity or sexual orientation. end quote
the very long article which list at least a hundred medical studies of wide coverage tries to establish genetic/homornal activity in 2 periods of life (in the womb, and at puberty) and makes intersting--if not entirely convincing reading -they seems to have a little bit of contradictory info as I read it, anyway) here is the link
http://shb-info.org/sexbrain.html

[TGMarla]

Everyone's got a study. Gee, look at all the research. Does any of it apply to you? Or are you some unique "in-between" person who has elements of some of this research but not others? I can only speak to my own experience.

I was a relatively normal little boy. I loved playing baseball and running around like all the other kids. And although I thought dresses were pretty (on my mom) and I was a little fascinated with hosiery (Really? Women get to wear that?), I really didn't think about wearing women's clothing much at all. Then when I was 12, I tried on some pantyhose for reasons also totally unrelated to crossdressing. And that got me hooked. It wasn't until I was a full-blown crossdresser that I ever entertained any thoughts of actually wanting to be female.

But there it is. All these years have molded me into a transgendered male. It wasn't some hormone bath in the womb, or bad parenting, or traumatic experiences in school. I just thought about it all a lot, and over time I developed opinions on my own gender identity and human sexuality in general.

What causes crossdressing? I'd say that at first, it's raw curiosity. What sustains it? Obviously some people find crossdressing to be a very pleasurable experience for a myriad of reasons. Pick your poison. They all work.

[tanyalynn51]

I always automatically say that God did, Jo-Anne, but I never thought it in terms of a female soul for some reason. Sometimes it really is that simple. Thanks.

[Charleen]

Cthulhu commands me.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Works for me! Ol' H.P. was on to something!

[sami1952]

i'm one who believes that i was meant to be a woman but stuck in a men's body.ever since i can remember i always have the urge to wear women's clothes.i feel more like myself when i a dress and kind of restricted in men's clothes.i'm always looking at women's clothes and i seem to have pretty good taste in women's clothing as least that what my wife say,well she likes my clothes.

[t-girlxsophie]

I wish I knew is it nature or is it nurture,I was brought up in a normal household mum dad and younger brother and no major disturbances in my formative years so I remain now and forever at a loss to explain what started me off on this amazing ride

[sissystephanie]

I post the same reason each time. The evidence is out there from the scientific study of brains from cis men, cis women, trans men and trans women. There are physical characteristics that differ between a man's brain and a woman's brain. In the study, trans people had brains that more closely resembled the "opposite" gender to their anatomical sex.

Those reports only talk about grown people! As I stated, an infants brain has no sexual identity because it has not been formed!! Of course trans people's brains more closely resemble the "opposite" gender, because that is what they are most often thinking about!! You are you, and I am me. We think differently, maybe in many ways, but I hope we are still friends!!

[ikthys]

To say I am partially a product of environment does not negate that I am also obviously a product of my choice. I believe in soverignty of will- I am no robot- not even a very complicated and cool living and conscious fleshly one...

Here's my rap sheet, so to speak (though I still share some of the "I don't know" that I read out there):
1. I was one of those latter boys in line (4th) who are shown to be more likely to have the type of hormone disposition mentioned in this thread. This means very little to me other than a very faint background susceptibility to certain influences later on.
2. One early childhood (3ish?) experience of connection/ affirmation when sis dressed me up and people saw and laughed.
3. Seeing a boy wear a dress to school at my elementary school (I was 5 he was 8 or 9)- I think it was actually a gag, but I think it opened my mind to the possibility at all.
4. A Dad I hated for his temper and treatment of my Mom, and a Mom I loved but resented for her weakness, and a family that seemed to leave me with little sense of personal affirmation. I ended up lost in terms of how to face "being a man".
5. A leftover dogmatism that women somehow had it easy in life.
6. Strong desire for girls and obssession with their beauty.
7. Arrousal upon wearing their clothes by my own intention at 10ish.
8. Strong sexual conditioning through continued wear through puberty.

Certainly I made my choices. Today, I don't want to be a crossdresser (neither the action nor the identity, though I understand that having the struggle with thoughts of it means there's a "part of me" that remains such at least until the possible day when that might die off too). I am forging my identity in new ways that I like better.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Jo-Anne,
"What made You who you are? A very profound question to which I am quite sure you will receive a multitude of responses many of which will steer the blame or reason to some irrelevant personal experience in the past , some mythical ,medical or scientific apparition which upon closer examination is rendered moot as well.
No doubt that many will rebuff my contention that it is the responsibility of any individual, regardless of outside interference, to define themself.
We do this by the choices that we make.
"Who made me?"
I did.

[2SpeedTranny]

It is bad enough facing intolerance from the majority of people who are merely ignorant of the facts without having members of this community putting us down as well.



So why do you hang around us lot of dumb crossdressers anyway? The heading on this section is "Male to Female Crossdressing." You've made it very clear that you are not one of us. Repeatedly. In almost every post you make, matter of fact. So why?

In your own words, you have a "birth defect," and aren't merely playing around with clothing.

Well, 'scuse me all to pieces, but I don't consider my penchant for shopping the wrong side of the department store to be a flaw in my genetics -- or my character.




Whether or not you were targetting me personally, your words encompassed me and were unwelcome

So how is anyone to carry on a conversation of any sort without constantly walking on eggshells, fearful that their words -- and expression of their own opinions -- will be "unwelcome?"

"Your words encompassed me?" What? :eek:

Think about growing some thicker skin, because I find your attitude offensive. Didn't walk a mile in the other man's shoes, did you?

[Nick2Nikki]

No, Rianna is right. For some of us it might be a choice, but for some of us it isn't. Female brains in male bodies and vice versa do exist. To say otherwise (without evidence to back you up) is to put down a large membership of our transgendered community. It's not that hard to avoid putting down the transexuals among us, just avoid saying things along the lines of "You could be a {man|woman} if you wanted to." Rianna wasn't born a man that later decided to become a woman, she was born a woman trapped in a man's body until she got it fixed.

Just because you feel that you are controlling your actions when it comes to crossdressing doesn't mean that others go beyond a simple desire to dress in women's clothing.


In your own words, you have a "birth defect," and aren't merely playing around with clothing.

...What!? First of all, those are not her own words. They're yours. Plus, are you seriously calling transexualism a "birth defect!?" To be clear, she said nothing about it being a birth defect. She said that studies have shown that transexualism is caused by physiological processes originating in the womb. That does not mean birth defect any more than being born with a Y chromosome rather than another X is a defect. Her post didn't say that transexualism is a defect. You did.

Although, judging by your comments here:


Well, 'scuse me all to pieces, but I don't consider my penchant for shopping the wrong side of the department store to be a flaw in my genetics -- or my character.

it's hard to tell whether your argument is (1) against transexualism being genetic, (2) about Rianna saying it's a defect, or (3) against Rianna posting in the MTF crossdressing forum. If it's (1), then you're plain wrong. If it's (2), then you read Rianna's post incorrectly. If it's (3), then your point is more understandable, but still presumptuous. Plus, transsexuals post in this forum all the time, and this is the first time I've seen anyone complain about it.


Think about growing some thicker skin, because I find your attitude offensive. Didn't walk a mile in the other man's shoes, did you?

This is exactly the kind of comment that some simple consideration would correct. "...the other man's shoes,...." You might not have noticed, but Rianna isn't a man. I normally would bat an eye at this, but you did just finish a rather insulting post with what could easily be read as a very insulting comment. Plus, these forums are all about gender issues, so one might want to be a little more careful when addressing someone. (And while you didn't directly call Riana a man, the phrase "the other man" implies that that Riana (the implied subject), is also a man.)

So, in conclusion, people thinking that everyone else is in the same boat as them, fine, you have your opinion. But guess what? As much as you would be offended by me insisting that you crossdress because you were molested as a child, just because that's what causes my crossdressing (no, it isn't really), others will be offended when you insist that you know what drives their crossdressing better than they do.

Also, some of these problems are just miscommunication. So, read a person's post in its entirety before making angry comments about it, and read your post before posting it to make sure that it says what you mean, so that there's less of a chance of it being misinterpreted.

[Rianna Humble]

Those reports only talk about grown people! As I stated, an infants brain has no sexual identity because it has not been formed!! Of course trans people's brains more closely resemble the "opposite" gender, because that is what they are most often thinking about!!

The links higher in the thread clearly set out physical differences to the brain that begin at a specific point of the mother's pregnancy. How often you think something about does not significantly alter the shape and size of your brain, how you develop genetically does that. I think that you are confusing cause and effect.


So why do you hang around us lot of dumb crossdressers anyway? The heading on this section is "Male to Female Crossdressing." You've made it very clear that you are not one of us. Repeatedly. In almost every post you make, matter of fact. So why?

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2219495#post2219495

[Jocelyn Quivers]

As far as the "dressing" aspect. I was simply born this way. I had a very supportive father and mother and was raised in the completly normal Nuclear American family. Of course I was sternly disciplined when caught wearing my mother's clothes when growing up. Outside of that I had a completely normal standard childhood. As far as the seperate fem identity, and me being the type of CD I am. I will just attribute it to a very, very, very traumatic event which happened in my life. With as a result me, "Jocelyn" emerged with brim and fire and has been going full force ever since. At best I have a partially female brain or subconcous which really has no clue about being female due to being complety filtered, influenced, and confused by a male body.

Now my brain hurts, too much thinking.:confused:

[2SpeedTranny]

...What!? First of all, those are not her own words. They're yours. Plus, are you seriously calling transexualism a "birth defect!?" To be clear, she said nothing about it being a birth defect.

See post #41 in this very thread. Here's the quote:


You are right that we do have to choose what we do about our birth defect[...] ...My choice was to live and therefore to correct the birth defect,





This is exactly the kind of comment that some simple consideration would correct. "...the other man's shoes,...." You might not have noticed, but Rianna isn't a man. I normally would bat an eye at this, but you did just finish a rather insulting post with what could easily be read as a very insulting comment.

"Walking a mile in another man's shoes" is an American saying. It is not required to make it gender specific.



Also, some of these problems are just miscommunication. So, read a person's post in its entirety before making angry comments about it, and read your post before posting it to make sure that it says what you mean, so that there's less of a chance of it being misinterpreted.

No kidding.

The point of my post was that some people just like to go around taking offense at everything they possibly can.

Kathi Lake offered an opinion. Rianna Humble took offense. Why? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No one has a right to not be offended.

And now... you're offended. *Sigh.*

[Jo-Anne]

When I posted this question,I had no idea that I would get such a wide and diversified number of responses..I guess there is no simple answer to the question...Our personal stories are so different,yet the common thread seems to be; we all knew at a very young age that something was different. We all ran to "femininity's warm embrace " and it has never left us.The medical community has many theories about what the causes are,but aren't able to reverse our state of being..When you get right down to it.. We are, what we believe we are..The causes aren't that important..femininity makes up a large part of who we are...and I for one, am thankful !

[kimdl93]

Genetics or intra-uetero hormones - I've been this way since my earliest recollection.

[tgirl2b]

God He made me who I am, He does not make mistakes .

[t-girlxsophie]

Think someone needs to take a chill pill,every post is designed to be argumentative from them,why cant you agree to disagree without seeking confrontation,in every thread you will find a multitude of different answers,they are all heartfelt,and we can always voice disgreement with any of them,but lets not take it to extremes

:hugs:Sophie

[Melinda Lou]

Genetics or intra-uetero hormones - I've been this way since my earliest recollection.

With regards to the intra-uterine hormone issue, I would be curious to know if there's a greater proportion of CD/TS, etc., genetic males born during the peak years of the use of DES
(1940s-early 1970s)? DES has been connected to an increased incidence of genitourinary defects (I was born with an undescended testicle) and gender dysphoria issues (well, here I am). My mom died in 1985, and I have no easy way of confirming she used DES when pregnant with me, but I fit the profile with respect to birthdate ('69) and two of the effects.

[Amy S]

Personally I have no idea why I am this way. I can remember back to 5 or 6 years old when I knew I was different. I've looked up to , and basically for the most part, wanted to be female ever since. I'm guessing I was born that way, and nothing in early childhood dramitically shaped me. I remember all through grade and highschool wanting to be like a certain girl, they were my role models. I didn't feel that way towards the boys. I hung out with them and tried to fit in as best as I could. Which was torture.... Tough times back then, and it has basically continued in to adulthood. I guess I do have a theory and that is that most of us are born with this desire. Maybe our brains are more female.. I dunno... I do know that peeps like us are the only ones who truely understand... Most of us are good people too, from my experiences.

[MargaretJ]

Mummy didn't dress me up, I'm the oldest of my brothers, my sister and I didn't dress up together, and God doesn't figure in it.

My earliest memory of CDing is around 4 years old. I have this very vivid memory of a film being on TV and there was a woman walking by a large store front in NY, wearing a cream coloured jacket and skirt, stockings, (I assume, it was the early 60's) and cream/beige coloured stiletto shoes. I had been under the impression it was Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffanys, but since I have recently bought this on DVD, it isn't her in that film. Since I love stockings and heels, I am sure this is where my interest in cross dressing stems from.

[Paula_56]

Two words... Alien abduction!! I don't know who got abducted but I'll bet aliens were involved... Aka "who the hell knows".

Karen-Was that you I saw on the mother ship?

[christinac]

That is one of those questions I have no idea how to answer. For me it is something that has always been there for as long as I can remember, but I really never acted on it or even taken a serious look into it until about four or five years ago and even then I really don't know how or why I finally started to take at least baby steps towards it.

[ElaineB]

I was just thinking about this a bit while blogging the other day ... but it did not go anywhere really!

For what its worth ... for me I think I have more a lack of identity in general (resulting from being neglected in general as a kid) ... not any particular transsexual inclination.

[Samantha43]

I have no idea. I have had the desire to dress in female clothing ever since I can remember. I had a great childhood with a loving mother and father and am quite masculine in every other part of my life. It has to be genetic?

I do know I feel totally relaxed and at peace when I am crossdressed. It has to be good for my health and well being.

[diannecourtney]

Ah shucks! Would you believe a very pretty lady I saw in latter life. She was gorgeous and believe it or not in a winter dress coat with legs in stockings and heels. I must of had a lady gene seed in me and she set it to germenate, producing a lovely convert.

[the_me]

To answer the original question to it's fullest would easily take a full biography to explain! But for me, a fairly tolerant family (although the limits haven't been fully tested...), the media I was exposed to as a child, encouragement AS WELL as ridicule... I suppose it would be most simple to say I'm pro-choice, and have made mine pretty clear just by being here!