Am I wrong to be here?

[Rianna Humble]

In a recent thread where I thought I was pleading for greater tolerance of everyone here, I was asked in no uncertain terms why I
hang around us lot of dumb crossdressers anyway? even though
The heading on this section is "Male to Female Crossdressing." .

I will only say in my defence that I have never intended to treat anyone as a "dumb" anything - even those who hate transgendered people.

I also asked last July whether I was behaving like a fraud by posting in the cross-dressers section of this site although I am a woman 24/7 http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...95#post2219495

At the time, I thought that the response was an invitation to continue, but now I ask the question in a different form: am I wrong to be here?

I will accept a majority verdict.

[cordgrass]

Well I'm a woman 24/7 and I'm posting here! I don't think this forum is some kind of girls-have-cooties tree fort.

[Nick2Nikki]

Just because one person thinks that you should only be allowed to post in the forums that might not apply to you in the strictest sense by name, doesn't mean you aren't welcome here.

[suzy1]

If you are posting in the wrong section wouldn’t a member of the staff say so?
Also I have found out since being a member that there is a small minority that say nasty things sometimes.
I think I will go on reading and enjoying your posts here for a long time to come Rianna.

Love, SUZY

[Shelly Preston]

Rianna

This is not really a question that needs asked

This is an open section of the forum which everyone is entitled to post in

Your gender does not matter as long as you have something to contribute to the thread

[Gina X]

Well I like you Rianna and value your opinions & funnies even if I don't always agree ( and most times I do ) I will defend your right to your opinion. Don't you dare go away I would miss you............

[erickka]

Rianna, We all have opinions, and have due rights to express them. Like Shelly said, gender has no matter, as long as you have something to contribute. I thought that a forum was a place to learn from one another, and after joining here, I found that to be quite true. Just hang in there...If you leave, you will be missed.

[Patricia Jane]

I truly think everyone should be treated with respect. If one treats others with respect and dignity the respones should be the same!

[t-girlxsophie]

NO is the concise answer to that,maybe the one who saw fit to say such a pathetic thing should evaluate whether they belong here.This is a place for everyone to seek understanding of ourselves and others and I for one enjoy reading your posts.Yeah I have experienced negativity from TS in my life but I can honestly say all ive ever saw you be is supportive.I am certain the majority will be solidly behind you Rianna,dont you go anywhere

:hugs:Sophie

[Rianna Humble]

I appreciate the comments so far, perhaps I might add a couple of clarifications?

I wasn't thinking leaving cd.com altogether but if the majority though that I am wrong to post in the MtF section or my opinions became offensive to the majority who post in MtF, I would respect ther opinion.

I wouldn't put down the person who posed the question - I think that they were showing their hurt because they thought that I did want to put them down. It sparked a train of thought with me because as opinionated as I can be, I don't like to offend.

[BOBBI G.]

Please don't even think of moving to another ssection. I would have to track you down. I, personally, read all you post and value your opinions and insight. Some people, even me at times, just don't use all the grey matter God, or whoever may be superior, to their advantage.

Bobbi

[Karren H]

Imho.. Anyone can post anywhere.. I participate on a bunch of women's forums on FaceBook including Women's Health, More, Self and Shape... And they know I'm not a woman.

[Danielle-GG]

I hope you don't, Rianna. You were the first to welcome me so warmly to the community, and I appreciate that you were online and keen to put me at ease. You have a kind heart and much to contribute. :)

*hugs*

Dani

[Joanne f]

As shelly has said it is not a question that needs to be asked as it is an open forum and all points of view should be and hopefully are welcome.

[Gerrijerry]

You are not wrong to be in the room. All should realize that each person can add information to help others learn. Some may not like to read what others have to say because they only see there side. I find that reading many sides helps me and most others to understand ourselves and each other.

[sissystephanie]

Rianna, you are certainly welcome to post here! This Forum is open to almost all, and the Moderators will kick out those who don't belong. While I may not agree with all your posts, you do post interesting comments!! Stay here with us and keep posting!!

[Angelofsomekind]

Please, keep hanging around!

[Steph.TS]

the way I see it is we are all (CD/TG/TS) in the pink fog, it's just how thick is the fog where we are as individuals, I have started CD'ing twice, and twice I've wanted to transition after beginning to CD. I think we all all on the same side so I don't understand why TS wouldn't be allowed to post in the CD section, from time to time CD's have posted in the TS section, and I haven't seen anyone get upset.

[JustWendy]

One of the best things about being a member here instead of just a visitor, is that it opens up all the sections of the forum to us, not just this one. And while this section may best define me, I visit and contribute to other sections. If we can't accept and support all of our members here, how can we ever expect change in the general population. Rianna, please stay and continue to contribute to this section.

[Cynthia Anne]

I agree, you should stay where you are! I would miss you! I think Suzy said it best!

[DebsUK]

I for one think you shouldn't be hanging round with a bunch of dumb crossdressers, but then neither should I. Anyone saying that is clearly speaking for themselves (and by definition seem to be ruling them out from any Nobel prizes in the near future :rofl: ) and fortunately most of us aren't that dumb so please stay. I personally value your contribution, not to mention the fact that you'd be one fewer Brit on the forum.
hugs

[Babette]

At the time, I thought that the response was an invitation to continue, but now I ask the question in a different form: am I wrong to be here?


Rianna, this forum offers many twists of opinions and perspectives. However, when certain individuals post, I will always read their thoughts. You are one of those people and I would regrettably miss you input should you leave. So please reconsider your position and realize that you are a valued member. Also, I am not dumb nor is anyone else for that matter.

Babette

[GingerLeigh]

OK, you probably the third person that has recently posted that feels like they're not wanted here or fits in. Yeah, sure there are malicious people here with their own "cliquish" self righteous ideas who will beat you up. This is a public forum after all and like it or not, people (even ignorant ones) are entitled to their opinions. They're full of s@#t though. Nobody comes here to be beat upon. Pay them no mind or just stomp on their toes harder! You have as much right to be here as anyone else. Stick around. End of story.

Ginger

[eluuzion]

I look at it this way...

This is the Internet. It is like being a amateur meteorologist. There is always a chance of being wrong, or right. Is it partly sunny, or partly cloudy? Is that person you are chatting with really a woman? Or a guy pretending to be a woman? Or a guy dressed like a woman, that is a really guy, that wants to be a woman, so he is not really pretending, or is he, or she?

Only her hair-dresser knows for sure. But, if the person was worth chatting with, does it matter?

Well, I guess the only fair way to settle this...is for you to contact that specific poster, and ask her/him to have his mother meet your mother at a specific time and place to have a one-on-one arm wrestling match to determine who is "right" here, then we will all live with the decision...

or not...:heehee:

I am with you! You can stay if you promise never to post anything I disagree with, ok? That sounds fair to me...:battingeyelashes:

Now, what is it we are voting on again?:doh:
How are we going to count the raised hands anyway? What if somebody votes twice? Like once as a guy and once as a gurl? Maybe we need a full body scanner to do this right? hmmmm...

Uh oh, I think I made a gramatickle error here. Great, now I won't be allowed to post anymore, right? I knew I should have stopped to get milk on the way home, darn!


Think Less, Act More...Life is Short...:hugs:

:love:

[Kathi Lake]

Just posting in the M2F section? Why in the heck should you do that? That would be like going to a large buffet and eating only the rice pilaf, plate after plate. Rianna, there will always be people who think crossdressers are silly wannabes, and there will always be people who think that 'trannys' are confused muffinheads. But those are a small percentage of the people on this board. Don't let those few get to you - even if that few includes me. We need all views - even opposing ones to the ones we hold - if we're ever going to make sense out of this crazy thing in our lives. Stay, please.

Kathi

[Amy Lynn3]

If anyone has a problem with you posting here, they can always build a bridge and get over it. For you to not be here would take away the reason for this site. It is here for all to post in...so enjoy.

[suchacutie]

Of course you should post here! How can your experiences be anything but positive? ! The more we understand about who we are the better we are able to see our way clear in this world. Just like the gene pool, the more of us there are, the richer we are. For everyone we lose from our thoughts, the poorer we are. Thanks for being here!

tina

[herwannabe]

Just because you are 24/7 did you not start out as as a Crossdresser? I believe we all did.
I read the other sections too from time to time, but home is where the heart is. My home is here and so is yours.:2c: :battingeyelashes:

Michelle

[Tina B.]

Rhianna, your post got me to thinking about just who does and does not belong here, I started a list of all of the people I have met on here that I don't think belong. After rereading my list over for the sixth time, I'm sorry, your name is not on it! So stop this silly talk, you came from the same kind of start as we all did, and we even enjoy real GG's in here, so why not you? I have been censored, I have had people say thinks that where totally opposite of what I believe, but I know they will have to work real hard to ban me because I think people like us, yes you are one of us, even if you have found the final destination, that so many on here talk about finding, we all need this place thats why we spend so much time here.
Tina B.


Disclaimer: (there is not really a list, poetic license, if you will.)

[Kate Lynn]

I'm more the androgynous dresser than a crossdresser,the difference is,I don't want to look like a woman,but I just love certain styles of womens clothes,and wear them,this is the nicest place I have found where it doesn't seem to matter. :)

[Daenna Paz]

I think we have a consensus here ... ;^)

[Pythos]

To be honest there are times you say things that strike me as off, or ill thought out, BUT, I don't think you should not post in this section. I know I post stuff that cause issues and thinking. If you had only one person say that to you, be happy. For a bit there I thought no one here liked me for a bit. LOL.

That was proven wrong later on.

Stick around, and say what you will. I for one will not tell you to go away. As was said to me, we need everyone's input.

Hint though. You may want to keep an eye out for any umbrella statements. I have seen several from you, as well as others, and at times I will let one slip past, but those do not make any friends, even positive ones.

[Kittykitty]

Keep your audience in mind and post freely. We all get our feelings hurt here from time to time. We're family though, don't let the short term disagreements bug you.

Personally I enjoy your posts.

[Melissa Jill]

I always just assumed the sections were titled as such for topicality, as opposed to restrictions on who should post where.

[Samantha B L]

Post away Rhianna. Everybody else does.

[julia ann]

Rianna,I have to be the first to say it , yes you are wrong...... to think about leaving or to think that your being here is offensive to the majority. Leaving this site because you have been made , by some, to feel you do not belong would be a huge mistake. I must say I have not read alot of your posts, but that does not matter to me as much as defending your right to be here. I know the moderators have input as to who can and can't be here, but know one but you should be able to make that call as to weather you belong or not. My vote says you belong as much as anyone else.

[Marissa]

In a recent thread where I thought I was pleading for greater tolerance of everyone here, I was asked in no uncertain terms why I even though .

I will only say in my defence that I have never intended to treat anyone as a "dumb" anything - even those who hate transgendered people.

I also asked last July whether I was behaving like a fraud by posting in the cross-dressers section of this site although I am a woman 24/7 http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...95#post2219495

At the time, I thought that the response was an invitation to continue, but now I ask the question in a different form: am I wrong to be here?

I will accept a majority verdict.

Rianna, a few months ago, you and I had a discussion on how I viewed 'generalization' and my views of you. We came to a good understanding :)

Months ago, I posted a thread about my frustrations on how members would take the time to view a post but not make a comment since the ratio of comments/views would look like this 3/200. My own feelings were hurt because I felt invisible or unimportant, that my opinion did not count. So I contemplated leaving the site.

Has my views changed? Some.. due to others understanding how I felt and vowed to do better, my own understanding that we don't all have time to respond to each, and some just don't warrant a response from many.

As another member stated, you are one of 3 or so who recently questioned about whether to stay or go... Do you really need validation from others on whether to stay or not? Or even better, where to post? Besides yourself, only the administration team can bar you from the site. So if you leave due to words, so be it. If you choose to go head to head with some responders, it may be wasted energy. Still, you may be assisting in educating some.

Educating? Yes..but teaching/leadership 101, never offend first and then try to get support. It will only serve to humilate and the lesson is lost. Yes, I know this first hand as most of us do.

Now why am I stating this... key words that are used that draw a reaction that is 180 degrees out, uncalled for, serves no purpose and leaves no room for educating.

**The following are not quotes from anyone in particular or meaning to give that appearance..just words and portions of phrases that catch my eye**

'Merely ignorant of the facts', 'Intolerance of the Majority', 'Societies limitations', 'Sexism, Bigotry, Ignorance'.

The words that hit nerves...okay..maybe just mine as I want to own up to this.

With the catch all safe phrase 'Not found in members' of this community'

Sorry but if you take any group that has one main similiarity such as a military command of 100. All the same uniform. Ask 10 questions on their beliefs and you will get ten different groups with some undecided on which they really feel strongest about. But say one bad comment about the country they support and you WILL see unity.

So what am I trying to say??? Just because I don't accept one's beliefs in its interity, please don't say I'm ignorant or a bigot or sexist...until you can prove it.

And if I'm ignorant, teach me..if I'm a sexist or a bigot, do not befriend me or try to break bread with me, you won't enjoy the company.

Even on this site, there is a majority, there is a minority...and with each question posted, those two groups do shift at times..and still some of us will stand between the two and accept all or some of both.

I'm not going to ask or state that you stay.. I will leave that up to you..

Marissa

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I thought this website was for support and not judgement. Hate is such a demon, it permeates the soul and devours understanding and compassion. If some people hate so much they need support too, maybe that is why they are here, they seek knowledge but understanding and compassion may soon follow so that hate is absorbed by love. Tolerance of a huge degree is needed for those people and accompanying tolerance is time. People who post may be so consumed with emotions that they post in the wrong area, or their posts may seem so silly they invite negative replies. I think that all the members here deserve the right to post, be read and hence replied to but tolerance must be an issue that allows for discussion and that is where I feel problems arise. The staff here are very tolerant but even that appears to narrow at times. Replies/posts may be based on life experiences that differ to others and understanding and respect is needed because one does not know what state of mind that person who requests support is in. I am in question of my own existence and I come here for support. I also question sometimes when I log on, "am I wrong to be here".

[2SpeedTranny]

Since this has apparently now become a huge drama, I'll clarify my comment. This is the original quote from you:



It is bad enough facing intolerance from the majority of people who are merely ignorant of the facts without having members of this community putting us down as well.


You were complaining about the opinion of another member, in a bit of an imperious and condescending manner. It's not the first time.

If you perceive the opinions of crossdressers(which you are not) in the crossdressing section to be so oppressive, why do you keep coming back for more? Why subject yourself to the abuse?

I don't care for football. I could hang out on a football forum with thousands of rabid football fans, and complain about how silly the game is. But what would be the point?

The point here is not whether or not you are welcome. It's a free internet; go where you like. But rather, you are making yourself feel unwelcome by looking for every perceived slight you can take offense at, like searching out groups of bullies and begging to get your teeth kicked in. I can't imagine that's good for your own mental wellbeing.

[Tamara Croft]

The point of this thread is moot, so it's being closed.

As ONE of the Administrators here, I'm telling you ALL that this section is NOT just for CD's, it's for the 'discussion' of MTF Crossdressing, meaning, that EVERYONE is entitled to post in this section. Nuff said... now go eat your frosties...