transsexual and still married ?

[Victoria Anne]

I am in a bit of a quandry , I have been married for 14 years , I have been living as the woman I am for 5 months and legally female for 2 months (I have not had SRS yet) . I need advise , help .

My wife is disabled and has serious medical issues . The company I work for is now questioning the legality of our marriage as we are now technically a same sex cople. Our problem is that the company is questioning wheather or not she can be covered under my medical insurance , this would be worse than tragic for us . Not to mention our marriage ? we have an unbelievablly wonderful marriage and this would be devastating to us should they declare us un-wed .

So the question is are we still married and can the company drop my wifes medical coverage ? Has anyone else come upon this issue ? suggestions anyone ? thank you .

[Melody Moore]

Has the sex been changed on your Birth Certificate Viccy?

I believe that while you might have been able to achieve some recognition as being a female, through changing your name, and gender on your drivers licence etc, you are not fully recognised as being a female where you can change the sex on your birth certificate until after SRS & are not still in a same sex marriage. This is the only reason I understand why couples are not being forced to divorce. However you wont be able to change your sex on your birth certificate even after SRS while you are still married. I don't know the story in the USA, but here in Australia you will have to divorce your wife to be fully accepted as being a female post SRS.

[Victoria Anne]

Thank you Melody , I had not thought about that , my birth certificate has not been ammended and connot be until after SRS.

[Gerrijerry]

until you have had the SRS and all paper work including your birth cirt. Has been corrected. You are not a legal female. Therefore your marrage is still valid. This is simply a try by the company to save money and or someone there is trying to give you a hard time because of there personal belief.

[Victoria Anne]

Thank you Gerri , but here in California i am legally female , I do have the letter to prove it but you at the same time you are correct and here is the contradiction , My birth certificate connot be ammended until after I have a letter confirming SRS.

[gretchen2]

Sounds like you need a lawyer. I feel for you and your wife but you need someone who knows TLGB laws in California.

[Aprilrain]

No state can or will revoke a marriage certificate even after SRS, least of all California, by far the most liberal state in the union. Most US doctors (probably all) will give you the operation even if your still married as long as your wife signs a bunch of paperwork stating that she understands the situation. Some how I get the feeling that doctors in Thai Land would have similar policies though I don't know.

That being said, there is no telling what your employer or its insurance company will do. They are clearly fishing for a reason to drop you because of your wires condition. They could care less about same sex marriage for both of them it's all about the bottom line.

The ability to change your sex on your birth certificate is a state by state decision in the US. In Ohio, where I live, I can never change it. Some states don't even list sex on a birth certificate and others will let you change it. I know for a fact that California will let you change it because one of the girls in my support group meeting was born in California, has been post op for 4 years, and recently had hers changed.

Here is the best advice you will read all day, get a lawyer!

[RADER]

I was under the Idea that with this new health care, existing conditions can not
lose your coverage???
Rader

[Dawn D.]

Victoria Anne,

It almost sounds as though you are about to be discriminated against in a very unpleasant and potentially illegal fashion! It is my understanding that even if you do change sex and remain married to the person you were before transition, your legal benefits through employment and otherwise cannot be denied. Especially in California. In this state when you are granted a marriage license and are legally married, the status and associated benefits of your marriage is not alterable by anyone (excepting of course, by you and/or your wife/husband) based upon your marriage status alone, unless you divorce.

My advice in this matter though, would be to contact the Transgender Law Center at 415-865-0176. They can certainly give you all of the real and proper advice. I do hope that it all works out in your favor!


Dawn

[carolinoakland]

Contact Transgender Legal Center for expert free advice. But, as I understand it, even though you are legally female you are male on your birth certificate and the makes your marriage a legal male/female marriage. But do check with TLC, they are the best at this in this state. Carol.

[Sally24]

Most states, but I do not know if it is all, cannot annul a marraige that was legal. A famous member of the trans community, Jenny Boylan, who lives in Maine, is still married after almost 10 years post op. They couldn't be married in Maine now, but their marraige is still legal becuase it happened when they were man and woman. Check with a lawyer of course, but I think you have little to worry about as long as you are vocal in your communications to your insurance company. They love people who just shut up and take their dicisions as is.

[Niya W]

Wait there is some thing missing in your employers logic. Next time they bring this up bring up domestic partners . In California if you are registered as domestic partner your partner is eligible to be covered under your medical. So tell them there is no out for them. One way one way or another they still are going to pay for your wife .

[Hope]

I was under the Idea that with this new health care, existing conditions can not
lose your coverage???

The provision you are thinking of does not go into effect until 2014, and in any case the question here is about access to healthcare through a group health plan and not being dropped for preexisting conditions.

[Stephanie Anne]

You are not legally female according to social security and your birth certificate (if you are also born in California). As such insurance will still flag you as male so you are still protected under the marriage inequality law. You were also married and your wife was added to your insurance before transition so ex post facto laws (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ex_post_facto_law) take precedence.

If they try and deny benefits for some BS reason like this, you go straight to your HR the onto a lawyer. If they insist, let them know the State protects you under Domestic partnership statues. See here: http://www.sos.ca.gov/dpregistry/

So in other words, this is either a misunderstanding on your part or a very stupid HR person who may not have a job if this becomes and issue.

[Jessinthesprings]

I belive your marriage falls under what is sometimes referred to as a grandfather clause. Simply meaning prior status, agreements, and negotiations cannot be altered without your concent. Since you were legally married before you are still married after.

[Ashlie Marie]

Hi hi,

i can give three comments on advise as far as I go hope they help. I work for one of America's largest insurance company and only know of 1 state that does not have a domestic partner rider and it is Alaska, because there a marriage is a union so gender has never mattered up there. I once got a huge story about from a priest but it was boring so I forgot it lol. so look into that if your employer doesn't off the after tax domestic partner rider look into adding it yourself through the insurance company itself it might be a little extra bill once a month but in the long run you will be keeping you both safe. OK enough work.. Now I am up here in NH so our little new enagland area is all a mess right now anywhere, but as far I have been told 3 things I have not been able to change under NH law unless my wife and I want to remarry each other since SS is now no longer aloud to verify your gender that one is easy to change along with passports now y9ou can than Obama for that one. lol I can;t touch my birth cert even my name under Mass law its way to expensive they told me to wait to do it after SRS if one day. and NH wouldn't let me change my name on my daughters birth cert. they added an amendment to it with my name. they don't make mommy mommy ones so i think it still say father lol. and under NH law my marriage cert will stay my old info since we have gender free marriage anyways, but for them to create a new licence for 2 females we would have to like get a 5 minute divorce by a justice of the peace then sign the new one and take vows again lol silly laws. so we might for our 10 year make a big thing :-) one last thing sorry its late I babble. being in Cali your state is more forgiving then Canada is sometimes i am even surprised they brought it up. well good luck and keep us in the loop :-)

hugs

[Stephenie S]

You are married and you will always be married until you divorce.

There is absolutely NO question here. Consult a lawyer if you must, but this is fact, not conjecture. No matter what your employer says, and no matter what your insurance company says, YOU ARE MARRIED. End of story.

Now the insurance company would like to get out from under your wife's care. Of course they would. You can expect them to grasp at any straw they can find. But you will not lose coverage on the basis of not being married. Believe me.

S

[Debglam]

The following is an excerpt from a document entitled "Transgender Family Law Facts" from the Transgender Law Center website (http://transgenderlawcenter.org/pdf/Family%20Law%20Facts.pdf) :

Marriage (1)

Since, at the time of publication, California only allows “opposite sex” couples to get married, gender matters. Because, as a transgender person, you may be unsure of what your “legal” gender is, determining to whom you can stay married or get married to can be confusing. In general, people are concerned about marriages that are either pre-transition or post-transition.
(Some people have questions about relationships that don’t fit into either of these descriptions. If you do, feel free to call us at the above number.)

(a) Pre-Transition Marriage (does transition end a marriage?)
When a couple gets married, and at some later point one spouse transitions, the key question is whether the couple, who are now same-sex, are still married. While neither the courts nor the legislature has yet said anything about these marriages, California marriage law generally says that a valid marriage can only be ended through death or divorce.2 Because of this, it is our strong belief that pre-transition marriages remain valid after transition.

(b) Post-Transition Marriages (can someone marry based on their gender identity?)
California expressly recognizes a person’s gender identity as his or her gender in some situations (changing your gender marker on your driver’s license or birth certificate, for example). For that reason, we strongly believe that you can marry based on your gender identity. The best way to support that marriage is through getting a court order and/or a new birth certificate that recognizes your change of gender.(3 )However, even without such proof, you can still make a case for getting married.

(1) Bi-national couples seeking to have one spouse immigrate as a result of marrying a U.S. citizen or resident will face special marriage related issues. See TLC’s publication on immigration issues for more information.
(2) A marriage can also be invalidated if there was fraud at the time of marriage, but transition has never been held to be fraud.

I read this as meaning that it is still an open issue here in California. Please give them a call and they should be able to assist you and your wife.

Debby

[donnalee]

Contact the CA Dept of Insurarance and report the problem. I think this is blatantly illegal under California and perhaps Federal law. A letter from them to the insurance company should settle the issue.

[Danni Bear]

Victoria,

I don't know what the laws are in California. In Texas my husband and i were still married after we transitioned almost 11 years ago. This past sept. we renewed our vows with a new certificate issued showing our changed genders. Both documents are filed together by the state with links one to the other. both are equally valid certificates of marriage. This is a different type of situation than you have but from what I have been able to determine is if you are married and either you or your wife don't divorce or seek an annulment the marriage stands in all fifty states regardless of the genders at present only the genders when the certificate was issued is pertinate. if you have insurance that covers you and your wife through an employer and is a group policy, they cannot now exclude her due to your transition without changing the entire insurance policy for every employee and dependent.

danni

[Deborah_UK]

Question.

Have you obtained a divorce? Yes or No

No - then you're still married.

Yes - then you're not married.

[crossdrezzer1]

even when done a total transform you are still born male and leagally married,,the company doesnt go beyond the law..

[Victoria Anne]

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who replied and to pass on good news .

I did give the company the contact info for the transgender law center and the following day I received a call from the company which stated "that persuant to outside advise my marriage is legal and not to worry as my wifes medical insurance is safe". My worries are over.

Thanks again ladies.

[Persephone]

That is so great, Victoria Anne! It would be wonderful if you could somehow get it in writing.

[Niya W]

Sounds like outside counsel told them if they drop your wife they will gets sued and lose.

[Debglam]

Victoria,

I am very(!) happy for you and your wife and I am very proud of you for standing up for your rights! :cheer:

Two victories for the TG community on this forum in one week! I think I'm gonna open a bottle of wine tonight! :drink:

Happy Weekend to All!
Debby

[Melody Moore]

Sounds like outside counsel told them if they drop your wife they will gets sued and lose.

I agree with Niya here, if they had of pursued this matter they would have lost any legal challenge they tried to mount
against you & put themselves into a situation where they were discriminating very unfairly against you for which you then
could have sued them over. I cannot believe to make an issue of this in the first place. They really did stick their neck out
and place it on the chopping block. If your company has any good sense they should fire this person that raised this issue.
Anyway, good luck with it all and I hope everything goes well here on out. :hugs:

[Hope]

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who replied and to pass on good news .

I did give the company the contact info for the transgender law center and the following day I received a call from the company which stated "that persuant to outside advise my marriage is legal and not to worry as my wifes medical insurance is safe". My worries are over.

Thanks again ladies.

Awesome. Glad to hear it worked out well...